Please! Advice on ADD/ADHD child? :(

[snipsnsnailsx5]

Major stress. Uggh!

My 8 (almost 9) year old is the most difficult of my five boys. He was the intital reason we decided to homeschool. He has been "diagnosed" ADD and ODD (I use that term loosely because I don't feel that it was a thorough enough diagnosis...just asking a few questions and then slapping a label on him isn't enough to diagnosis him in my opinion. I'd feel more comfortable if he had a few thorough sessions with a ped-psych who got to know him on a more one-on-one level before diagnosing him...okay off my soap box LOL).

He's not on medication because, well mostly because my DH just doesn't feel comfortable with that at his age yet. However I'm starting to see maybe how its effecting his learning more and more. We already have a prescription called into his pediatrician that we just have to call and ask to be filled when we're ready for it....

 

He's starting to develop these violent rages when he gets stressed out. He's started to bang his head against the wall or another surface (not hard enough to hurt himself, never leaves even a red mark) or hit himself on the head. Today he threw some school room chairs when no one was in the room because he couldn't figure out his cursive.

Needless to say....he takes all of my time. He can do very little indepdant work.

The positive though- his reading has improved by LEAPS since the start of this school year. Major progress in just four months. He's reading at grade level! yay! And while his math really frustrates him, when he calms down and thinks about it he knows the answers. He really has actually very good penmanship for a boy (lol!) compare even to his oldest brother. But he seems to get so stressed about making it JUST RIGHT that it causes these rages.

On a typical school day, most of the time he does his work just fine as long as I'm there with him through the tough stuff. However, every day there is at least one thing that triggers these violent rages.

 

I don't know what to do!!!!! My Dh is seeing this and thinking that I have no clue what I'm doing and its all out of control and maybe the boys are better off in PS. We've only been homeschooling for 4 months...I keep telling Dh that it just takes major adjustment and learning how to do it. :(

My other two boys (my oldest - 12 and third oldest - 6.5) are doing just fine.

 

Would medication help this stress and major frustrating my 8 yr old has? Or maybe more frequent breaks for him? Its VERY hard not to lose my temper with him when he acts like that. I have my breaking point too before I start getting angry with him. :( I know it doens't help to get angry, but its a lot easier said then done in the heat of the moment.

 

Anyway, I'd love some advice....BTDT stories, etc.

 

THANKS!!!

[merry gardens]

You might want to try posting over on the special needs area of this board. There are a lot of people over there who have been there/done that.

[meggie]

No real advice, but just :grouphug:.

 

Maybe when he's calm, trying to come up with a list of things he could do when he gets angry? Let him take out his frustration, but in a safer and more controlled way. My brother used to punch a pillow.

 

And I would look into that therapy and one on one evaluation, maybe they would be able to give you a better diagnosis and more help.

[Catwoman]

My Dh is seeing this and thinking that I have no clue what I'm doing and its all out of control and maybe the boys are better off in PS. We've only been homeschooling for 4 months...I keep telling Dh that it just takes major adjustment and learning how to do it. :(

 

That is absolutely true. Frankly, I'm amazed at how much you've been able to accomplish in such a short period of time.

 

Its VERY hard not to lose my temper with him when he acts like that. I have my breaking point too before I start getting angry with him. :( I know it doens't help to get angry, but its a lot easier said then done in the heat of the moment.

 

I don't have any advice about medication, but I can say that I completely understand why you would lose your temper. It's so difficult to deal with tantrums without having one of your own. There are many ways of trying to calm yourself down before you let yourself start yelling, but let's face it, none of us are able to manage to remain calm all the time. Sometimes, we go off the deep end, and we regret it later and think of a way we could have handled it better.

 

My only advice is to try not to beat yourself up over this stuff. It's not your fault that he's having these tantrums, and it's not something you can "cure" overnight. Obviously, you're doing something right if your other two boys are doing fine; this little guy just happens to be more of a handful, and it's going to take time to figure out what will help him remain more calm when something goes wrong. It sounds like you may have a little perfectionist on your hands, and believe me, I know what that's like!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Cat

[caitlinsmom]

Major stress. Uggh!

My 8 (almost 9) year old is the most difficult of my five boys. He was the intital reason we decided to homeschool. He has been "diagnosed" ADD and ODD (I use that term loosely because I don't feel that it was a thorough enough diagnosis...just asking a few questions and then slapping a label on him isn't enough to diagnosis him in my opinion. I'd feel more comfortable if he had a few thorough sessions with a ped-psych who got to know him on a more one-on-one level before diagnosing him...okay off my soap box LOL).

He's not on medication because, well mostly because my DH just doesn't feel comfortable with that at his age yet. However I'm starting to see maybe how its effecting his learning more and more. We already have a prescription called into his pediatrician that we just have to call and ask to be filled when we're ready for it....

 

He's starting to develop these violent rages when he gets stressed out. He's started to bang his head against the wall or another surface (not hard enough to hurt himself, never leaves even a red mark) or hit himself on the head. Today he threw some school room chairs when no one was in the room because he couldn't figure out his cursive.

Needless to say....he takes all of my time. He can do very little indepdant work.

The positive though- his reading has improved by LEAPS since the start of this school year. Major progress in just four months. He's reading at grade level! yay! And while his math really frustrates him, when he calms down and thinks about it he knows the answers. He really has actually very good penmanship for a boy (lol!) compare even to his oldest brother. But he seems to get so stressed about making it JUST RIGHT that it causes these rages.

On a typical school day, most of the time he does his work just fine as long as I'm there with him through the tough stuff. However, every day there is at least one thing that triggers these violent rages.

 

I don't know what to do!!!!! My Dh is seeing this and thinking that I have no clue what I'm doing and its all out of control and maybe the boys are better off in PS. We've only been homeschooling for 4 months...I keep telling Dh that it just takes major adjustment and learning how to do it. :(

My other two boys (my oldest - 12 and third oldest - 6.5) are doing just fine.

 

Would medication help this stress and major frustrating my 8 yr old has? Or maybe more frequent breaks for him? Its VERY hard not to lose my temper with him when he acts like that. I have my breaking point too before I start getting angry with him. :( I know it doens't help to get angry, but its a lot easier said then done in the heat of the moment.

 

Anyway, I'd love some advice....BTDT stories, etc.

 

THANKS!!!

 

I have BTDT. Seriously I could have written your post word for word. Here are my 2cents. We tried medication with dd after we put her in PS. No difference, nothing at all. We stopped the medication while she was in school and we continued through. We had to learn new ways to deal with her, its not the same with these kids as with others. They just aren't wired the same way...AT.ALL.

 

We started homeschooling again because we moved. The change we made that has made the biggest difference has been doing her schooling at night. I take care of ds in the morning and if dd is in a good mood and fairly okay I will run through math drills with her. After that its play/chore/lunch time. After all the other kids are in bed dd and I sit down and tackle homework. What was taking her up to 5 hours to complete is taking 2. Her comprehension is a 100 times better and she is easier to handle. An added bonus for us, she is tired by the time she is done and is actually going to sleep.

 

I think the key has been the one on one time and zero distractions. It has made an AMAZING difference with this child and she is going just fine now.

 

PM me if you would like to talk more. I can tell you the other things we have done. :)

[Unicorn.]

He's starting to develop these violent rages when he gets stressed out. He's started to bang his head against the wall or another surface (not hard enough to hurt himself, never leaves even a red mark) or hit himself on the head. Today he threw some school room chairs when no one was in the room because he couldn't figure out his cursive.

Needless to say....he takes all of my time. He can do very little independent work.

The positive though- his reading has improved by LEAPS since the start of this school year. Major progress in just four months. He's reading at grade level! yay! And while his math really frustrates him, when he calms down and thinks about it he knows the answers. He really has actually very good penmanship for a boy (lol!) compare even to his oldest brother. But he seems to get so stressed about making it JUST RIGHT that it causes these rages.

On a typical school day, most of the time he does his work just fine as long as I'm there with him through the tough stuff. However, every day there is at least one thing that triggers these violent rages.

 

THANKS!!!

 

First off, :grouphug: You just described my 2 ad/hd kids. Meds can help w/ the rage. We have put them off for years, but as Rafiki (Lion King) says, "It is Time."

 

Tell your dh, from someone who has btdt- putting them back in ps will not make it better. Exercise- lots of it, really helps. Zinc- helps w/ anger. You might even have some blood work to determine if he is zinc deficient. A friend recently found out her child doesn't have adhd (which they have been treating for years). Turns out that her child is severely zinc deficient, and is now on mega doses of that and B vitamins. Huge difference in her child!

 

Watch for trigger foods- corn products, dairy, certain fruits, etc set mine off. Keep a food diary, and see if you can spot a correlation. Sometimes it takes a day or two for it to show up, and sometimes it happens right away, but might last 2-3 days.

 

Do a search of this board, and the special needs boards- you'll get tons of info!

 

hth and again :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Catwoman]

I think the key has been the one on one time and zero distractions. It has made an AMAZING difference with this child and she is going just fine now.

 

 

I think that is excellent advice. It's probably hard for Bethany to spend one-on-one time with one son, when she's trying to homeschool three boys at once -- and has only been doing it for 4 months, but your idea of finding a separate time to work with him could be the tip that works for her.

 

Cat

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Your DS sounds very similar to my DD10yr. Over the years, I ended up with less and less patience. It was a bad situation for both of us. We did have her extensively evaluated by a pediatric psychologist and found her to have ADD, anxiety, and depression (though much of her behavior could have looked like ODD). After I described the arguing, irritability, and frustration that were our biggest concerns, the psychologist determined that it was likely the anxiety causing the majority of the symptoms we were having problems with. She started her on citalopram (Celexa) and we saw an immediate change! It has been an incredible transformation. We still struggle with inattentiveness and focus, but the tantrums, arguing, irritability, etc have all but disappeared.

 

She continues to see the psychologist 2x a month to work on behavior issues and to give both her and DH and I someone to bounce ideas off of. All that being said, we did decide today to try an ADD medication as well....with the understanding that if we don't like it, we will stop. She is finding that she has difficulty focusing to the degree she needs to at her highly competitive softball practices, so we thought we'd give it a try.

 

Anyway, I guess I would strongly recommend the pediatric psych evaluation and then go from there. It has opened our eyes to kid a we had forgotten existed! Only you and your DH can decide what is right for your family, but the psych can sure give you another perspective....and maybe you'll find there is more to the picture than you originally thought!

 

Feel free to PM if you'd like :)

[Food4Thought]

:grouphug:

 

One thing you may want to try is to cut out all food colorings and strange additives for a couple of weeks to double-check if he might actually be reacting to food. There have been some excellent studies done (mostly in the UK) that show that food colorings trigger *most* children into ADHD-type behaviors. My son reacts strongly, and has had some monstrous episodes when given a bad food.

 

Things to look for especially: Red 40, Yellow 5, BHT, TBHQ & MSG (monosodium glutamate). If nothing else, just try eliminating these and see if you notice any sort of difference.

 

I know it's not an answer to how to change the behavior, but if it *is* food related, you can find out in just a few weeks.

[cindergretta]

Pesticides have been linked to ADHD, so if at all possible, I would try to buy organic. If it isn't possible, at least try to buy the "dirty dozen" organically to lower the impact.

 

My ds has ADHD and is an Aspie. He is on meds, though. He tried to kill himself last summer. :( He has done amazingly well on his meds. We also try to keep him on as natural a diet as possible, no artificial anythings, lowest possible incidence of pesticides, etc.

 

PS is *not* the answer. I am not anti - ps at all. And I think there is a time and a place for it. But it doesn't sound like your dc is in the right time or place.

 

Try to remember when he is raging that he is kind of at the mercy of his ADHD/ODD, if they are what is causing it. Something is causing the raging and it isn't being a spoiled brat or lack of control on your part. But like you wouldn't punish a child for having an epileptic episode, you don't want to punish him for behaviour beyond his control. That doesn't mean let him get away with murder. That means in times of calm, you talk about, read about, role play, etc., appropriate ways of dealing with "big feelings."

 

And remember, you are bigger than his feelings. He can't control himself if you "freak out." <said totally gently!!!> He really needs you to be a DMV mom when he is raging. DMV mom shows little to no emotion and keeps directing, kwim?

 

:grouphug:

[deacongirl]

This could totally not apply--but I believe there is a lot of overlap and misdiagnosis or missed dual-diagnosis...a highly sensitive, perfectionistic gifted kid can appear like a kid with ADHD or ODD. It might just be worth googling characteristics of giftedness or checking out this book: http://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707642

I would also check out http://www.sengifted.org/articles_learning/Amend_AnInterview.shtml

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I have ADD, so I admit that I am coming at this from MY (some may say) biased opinion.

 

Please take this in the spirit intended, which is kindness, I promise. :grouphug:

 

If your child had diabetes your dh would likely understand that insulin is called for. I am always amazed at how many people will say that they just 'don't want to do meds' when it is a mental condition.

 

Please consider meds. The difference was night and day for me and has been for many others. Please consider that he is likely acting out of control because he FEELS out of control and he CANNOT get his brain chemistry in order by himself, by wishing it, by having a schedule or by prayer. If medication is needed then perhaps try it. :grouphug:

[snipsnsnailsx5]

I have ADD, so I admit that I am coming at this from MY (some may say) biased opinion.

 

Please take this in the spirit intended, which is kindness, I promise. :grouphug:

 

If your child had diabetes your dh would likely understand that insulin is called for. I am always amazed at how many people will say that they just 'don't want to do meds' when it is a mental condition.

 

Please consider meds. The difference was night and day for me and has been for many others. Please consider that he is likely acting out of control because he FEELS out of control and he CANNOT get his brain chemistry in order by himself, by wishing it, by having a schedule or by prayer. This makes a lot of sense. Thank you for that perspective. If medication is needed then perhaps try it. :grouphug:

 

:grouphug:

 

Dh isn't totally anti-medication, I think its just that he wants to be sure the child *needs* it first. Basically all we had done was a visit to his pediatrician who had us do a worksheet test with his teacher at PS at that time. The results came back in the ADD/ODD range. Then a few months later we did a experimental program with the Children's Hospital in which they are trying to see if teleconferencing could work for psych. evaluations so that children in smaller towns wouldn't have to travel to the Children's Hospital for appt's.

Anyway, my son got put into the group that only got one 1-hr session with the ped. pysch. I wasn't impressed. He literally spent the whole hour asking me questions about my son's behavior, talked to my son just a bit, and then he said my son had ADD and he'd fax in a prescription to the local pediatrician. That's it. I would have prefered a more thorough diagnosis, based on at least one or two more visits. Also, I'd want full info on the medication, what to expect, other things we can try at home..etc.

I literally got much more info from you ladies here then I got from that one session. grrr!

 

So my point I guess, lol, is that we're not anti-meds - we just want to be sure and know everything about it before jumping blindly and filling the prescription. The same with diabetes or any other disorder, you'd want to know about the medication, side effects, etc before you take it. You'd also want to be sure you actually have diabetes before taking medicine for it...and by more then just answering some questions to your doctor.

 

Thanks again everyone for the help. Its given me a lot to think about. I've heard of taking out preservatives before and tried it briefly one summer. It was hard! I would need to change the whole family diet, and that would be a struggle. Still though, I'm going to look into it and see if we can at least try it for a couple months to see if we notice a difference.

I'm also going to talk to my Dh about just trying the meds to see if they work. I heard that they are out of your system very fast, so we can have him stop taking them if we don't like the effects and it will be out of his system quickly.

 

Thanks!

[elfgivas]

:grouphug:

 

its so hard. it does sound like a more in depth diagnosis might be really helpful.

 

you've had great advice and ideas. i'd just add that if there really is an ODD component, then sometimes it is just with the parents, and the kids are not defiant with a teacher. (that was how it was with one of ours). sometimes it just expands to include anyone in authority over them. if it is true that he is ODD and that it is only with his parents, then a school setting might actually work better for him : (.

 

:grouphug:

ann

[cindergretta]

Yes, they are very short - lived in the body. Like, often we have to give ds an additional dose late in the afternoon if there is to be an evening activity.

 

A lot of people get cranky and irritable as it wears off. The hypothesis is that sinking back into the frustration of random thoughts and excess energy after thinking clearly and being calm is annoying! :tongue_smilie:

[snipsnsnailsx5]

:grouphug:

 

its so hard. it does sound like a more in depth diagnosis might be really helpful.

 

you've had great advice and ideas. i'd just add that if there really is an ODD component, then sometimes it is just with the parents, and the kids are not defiant with a teacher. (that was how it was with one of ours). sometimes it just expands to include anyone in authority over them. if it is true that he is ODD and that it is only with his parents, then a school setting might actually work better for him : (.

 

:grouphug:

ann

 

My son does well with listening to other authority figures - such as at scouts, church, co-ops. Sometimes he still gets into trouble and still has issues with following directions, but he does not even dare try to talk back or throw a fit if the teacher calls him on it.

In FACT..his teacher last year at PS actually told me that she worried about his mental state because he seemed to show NO emotion, guilt or remorse when he got into trouble. I guess she wanted him to cry? I don't know. Her punishments didn't affect him, he would just say, "okay" and sit his recesses out.

It was because he gets so intimidated by other adults. Even adults he knows well, like his grandparents, he will be more his true self but he's still a LOT better for them then me and my DH.

 

Group settings don't work for him though because he gets easily bored and overwhelmed. Sounds like a contradiciton, but he'll act out because he's bored so he finds things to do, even if its bad things like being goofy or showing off for the other kids. And he acts out when he's overwhelmed after being in a classroom all day, Mon-Fri, 8-3pm. He NEEDS those frequent breaks away from not just the classroom, but away from everything I've found.

He's in a homeschool program now where he goes a full day (9:30 to 3pm) one day a week and a half day (9:30-1pm) another day of the week. He's been doing GREAT. Not perfect, but a lot better. I haven't had many complaints from the teachers yet. He got a bit goofy and off task in a math fun/games class, and he got into trouble once for going to the library during class when he was supposed to have just gone to the bathroom and back.

 

Yet thinking back, about his work and abilities in PS, he was behind in reading, barely grade level in math, and often didn't get his work finished. I think it was because no one was sitting down with him making him do it. He'd just space off and do what he wanted to do. At home, I'm seeing a lot of frustration because he's having to focus on the work and actually do it.

[lamamaloca]

Would medication help this stress and major frustrating my 8 yr old has?

 

Absolutely! After being diagnosed ADD, inattentive type myself, I felt compelled to try meds with my son who was diagnosed. Feeling the improvement myself, I didn't feel I could deny him that. Helping avoid frustration is THE benefit which we enjoy the most. He is a much happier kid.

[lamamaloca]

So my point I guess, lol, is that we're not anti-meds - we just want to be sure and know everything about it before jumping blindly and filling the prescription. The same with diabetes or any other disorder, you'd want to know about the medication, side effects, etc before you take it. You'd also want to be sure you actually have diabetes before taking medicine for it...and by more then just answering some questions to your doctor.

 

 

I do absolutely agree with this. After ds was diagnosed by a psychologist, we saw a pediatric psychiatric nurse practitioner to manage his meds. Even though she's not a doctor, this is what she does all day long. I was not comfortable just having his primary care doctor prescribing meds. She talked to us about the different options, the side effects, etc. Do you have an option of a psychiatrist or a psychiatric ARNP?

[NanceXToo]

You know, you could always try the medication for a few months and see if it helps. Say, a three month trial period. If it does, keep it up. If it doesn't, you can always stop. I think a lot of parents are hesitant to try ADD medication at first, they sort of see it as "failing" in some way. Or that it will turn their children into "zombies." But you know, some kids just really do NEED it.

 

My oldest daughter (now 19) was in first grade when she first started taking ADD medication. Her teachers were pushing for it as she wasn't focusing at ALL in school, and I resisted for a while because I had this mental vision of it totally changing her personality, of kids who sat like drooling zombies in front of a TV with blank stares, that if only the teachers tried harder and if I tried harder, she wouldn't need to be "medicated," but finally I just gave in and said we'd give it a try.

 

It was a GOOD decision. She did SO much better. She was able to focus, which helped her do better in school (and get in less trouble at school). That, in turn, made her feel happier. And it made me feel less stressed. And other than not being very hungry around lunchtime (which she made up for at dinnertime), there were no side effects. And she certainly wasn't a "zombie"- it was just something she needed. It made her more pleasant to be around, which made people respond to her better, which made her happier... it worked.

 

When she was about 16, I said to her pediatrician, "do you think we can try taking her off the meds and see what happens? She's been on them since she was 6" and he said "sure, give it a try if you want"- and I took her off, and while there was a very SLIGHT change in behavior in regard to how focused she would be and how well she'd listen in class and so on, it was nothing major and after an adjustment period, she did fine overall. She no longer needed the meds and has been off them since.

 

But I have NO regrets over giving them to her when she DID need them.

[KidsHappen]

I am bi-polar. I have rages. Even as an adult, I sometimes find it almost impossible to control myself when going through a manic phase. One of my dd is also bi-polar. I can imagine where it is so much harder for a child to manage these overwhelming feelings. We knew from birth that this child was different and we put off medication until the age of 9 due to my hubby insistance as well. After seeing the difference my medication made in my life he agreed to try it with my dd as well. It has made a world of difference. She leads a completely normal life. As a matter of fact, if you knew all of my children she is not the one you would guess to be bi-polar.

 

IMO rages are one of the most serious mental health complications. They need to be managed and that is almost impossible to do without medication. I would definitely get in to see a child psych or at the very least a regular psych. There is a lot of overlap in DXes and ODD seems to be the latest, most popular one. Back when my dd was DXed it was bi-polar. We accepted that because I am bi-polar as was my mother and one of my brothers. The good thing though is that the meds to manages rages is pretty much the same across DXes. They are particular classes of meds that they use to manage them and they use them regardless of the cause. Once the rages have been broght under control, then it is easier to work on other issues. But believe me, you can't work on anything in the grip of a full blown rage or even extreme axiety or panic attacks.

 

Also of the various meds available certain ones work better for handling rages than other meds. My personal favorite that has worked well for my family is Seroquel. My brother uses Clozadine. I don't know anyone who had success with Risperdol (personally) or some of the frist generation meds. Certainly not Gabapentin (brand name Neurontin) which repeated studies have proven to be competely worthless. I would not try this kinds of med. As a matter of fact, I prefer meds that have made it to the generic stage. That means they have been around awile without major problems. Once rages are managed, the other meds can be used to complement and help with other problems. I would not suggest an anti-depressant or any form of an amphetime as it could very well set off a rage. What this child needs in a calming med that helps manage blance his moods. It is a very delicate sicence and you really do need an expert to help you through it. I would not accept an ODD DX if at all possible. That has life llonger imlications. It is bettter to start with an anxiety disorder and work from there. The DX in these cases are really less important that the meds they use to manage the symptoms. You should probably start doing your research,

 

Good luck and I wish you the best.

Edited January 28, 2011 by KidsHappen
Multiple typos due to typing under influence of said meds.

[lamamaloca]

The good thing though is that the meds to manages rages is pretty much the same across DXes.

 

I had rages, and my psych originally thought bi-polar, but a thorough eval turned up ADD. My rages were brought under control by stimulant meds. I'd highly recommend a thorough diagnoses. I was on Seroquel in the past, but because of the reason for my rages, ADD meds worked MUCH better.

[Sue G in PA]

You just described my ds9. If you have followed my threads re: this child, you know that we are fighting the same battles. :grouphug: It is draining. The rages were awful. A diagnosis of mood disorder or ODD or whatever doesn't change the behavior. KWIM? We were so frustrated and so against meds but finally had to relent b/c this child was destroying our family. We had him put on Celexa for irritability and it has really taken the edge of his rages if not eliminated them. That in itself is a blessing and gives us the energy and time to work on his focus issues and behavioral problems. Does that make sense? He is a very bright child who learns quickly but can't focus on long assignments. We break his work in bite-size pieces. I can't tell you whether or not to try the meds but can only say that I understand NOT wanting to go that route. For my son, the psych started him on 1/2 the lowest possible dose of Celexa and when we found he tolerated that he upped it to the full lowest dose. That's what he is on now. He has NO side effects AT ALL except possible a bit of excitability (which doesn't help with his focus issues :glare:). But I'll take that over rages any day. I'm going to try something natural for his focus. There is a formula that was recommended to me on another board called "Sea Buddies Concentrate" found at iherbs.com. :grouphug: to you and good luck.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

He literally spent the whole hour asking me questions about my son's behavior, talked to my son just a bit, and then he said my son had ADD and he'd fax in a prescription to the local pediatrician. That's it. I would have prefered a more thorough diagnosis, based on at least one or two more visits.

 

 

That's a much more thorough evaluation than I got! It sounds like he DID evaluate your son pretty thoroughly, imo. It does involve asking questions and observation.

 

I've never heard of any Dr. taking "two or more visits" to dx ADD. I think that most parents would complain, "why do they want me to come back so much? It's just to make more money, isn't it?!" They can't win.

 

I'm glad that you are not anti-med. That's the impression I got from your OP. And, I agree with some PP's who suggest that maybe you can get with a NP or someone who can/will explain things more fully. (or explain them at all!)

[KidsHappen]

I had rages, and my psych originally thought bi-polar, but a thorough eval turned up ADD. My rages were brought under control by stimulant meds. I'd highly recommend a thorough diagnoses. I was on Seroquel in the past, but because of the reason for my rages, ADD meds worked MUCH better.

 

Good to know. I have never heard that before.

[ELaurie]

but I wanted to recommend a book you might find helpful.

it's called The ADD Answer: How to Help Your Child Now by Frank Lawlis.

 

IMO, he takes a balanced approach to questions about medication, and offers many other helpful suggestions as well.

 

I have also been listening to CDs that I ordered (at a discount) from a website called Celebrate Calm that was recommended by someone on this board. It will take time for me to incorporate all of the suggestions, but there are many, many helpful perspectives offered.