Tarreymere Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Lets just say that I have this daughter.......and that while watching a couple reruns of the show Hoarders it occurred to me that maybe um, well, it just might be that (okay, it really is likely) she and her husband and four soon to be five kids live in such a way that they might be able to make an episode or two out of their house. Oh, and I am her stepmother......although she did live with her dad in my house through her teens........Do you think that they would ever speak to me again if I did suggest them to the show and they found out it was me? Or should I just let, um, nature take its course and hope for the best? She has brought the condition of the house up in conversation pretty often, but isn't willing to actually do anything about it so far. Do you think the show people would pay me a finder's fee? Just kidding! Sort of, anyway! :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secular_mom Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 There's no way I would trust a TV show to keep my call confidential and I'm pretty sure that such a call could really kill a relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 There's no way I would trust a TV show to keep my call confidential and I'm pretty sure that such a call could really kill a relationship. :iagree: Not to mention that just being referred to the show is likely to humiliate your daughter, her husband and their children whether or not they are selected to be on it. If you really want to HELP the situation, the next time she brings up the state of the house, you could offer to help her tackle that situation, then roll up your sleeves and help her dig out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Except that it takes so much more than just a family member rolling up her sleeves and helping. It really DOES take therapy AND after-care (more therapy) to get to the bottom of the "WHY?" of it happening in the first place. Family members will drive themselves crazy thinking that they alone can help. Have you asked her if she wants help? (I'm thinking professional help.) Can they afford counseling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovetobehome Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Please, don't! Not worth the risk, period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 :iagree: Not to mention that just being referred to the show is likely to humiliate your daughter, her husband and their children whether or not they are selected to be on it. If you really want to HELP the situation, the next time she brings up the state of the house, you could offer to help her tackle that situation, then roll up your sleeves and help her dig out of it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 maybe you should just buy the series and send it to her. My dd that tends to hold on to stuff cleaned out her closet and threw stuff away after watching several "Clean House" episodes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 maybe you should just buy the series and send it to her. My dd that tends to hold on to stuff cleaned out her closet and threw stuff away after watching several "Clean House" episodes. I watch clips of Clean House while cleaning. It's definitely motivational! Hoarders would just make me sick though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Except that it takes so much more than just a family member rolling up her sleeves and helping. It really DOES take therapy AND after-care (more therapy) to get to the bottom of the "WHY?" of it happening in the first place. Family members will drive themselves crazy thinking that they alone can help. Have you asked her if she wants help? (I'm thinking professional help.) Can they afford counseling? :iagree::iagree::iagree: Just cleaning won't help. It really is a psychological problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I wouldn't call a show or anything, because it seems like they set them up for failure. In one breath they state that it takes years and therapy to "break" hoarding habits and in the next "here, let's fix your problem in 3 days with a team of brawny guys who will throw all your precious stuff in the trash." I have tried to help a friend and, well, it was very time consuming, physically exhausting, and emotionally draining. But it was worth it to see her daughter sit down and eat lunch at the table. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 As a step mother myself I would say that your relationship is probably extra fragile, and I wouldn't do it. I tried to help my step daughter lose weight for years before last Christmas she let it slip that she is pure because she is terrified of s@@. Well, then I knew that the weight is about keeping men away, not because she thinks she needs to drink six sodas every day. Almost certainly your step daughter has issues that go beyond the mess. They are the real cause, and any amount of cleaning that could be done by a TV crew or yourself would have very short term effects until she is ready to get real help. My step daughter's church offered to put her through a very expensive, effective counseling program and she did one session and told me that she would rather have her life messed up than face one more of those sessions. So, I backed off, because it is her life. She was removed from a position of leadership in her church when she did not complete the counseling program, and I was heart broken for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 As a step mother myself I would say that your relationship is probably extra fragile, and I wouldn't do it. I tried to help my step daughter lose weight for years before last Christmas she let it slip that she is pure because she is terrified of s@@. Well, then I knew that the weight is about keeping men away, not because she thinks she needs to drink six sodas every day. Almost certainly your step daughter has issues that go beyond the mess. They are the real cause, and any amount of cleaning that could be done by a TV crew or yourself would have very short term effects until she is ready to get real help. My step daughter's church offered to put her through a very expensive, effective counseling program and she did one session and told me that she would rather have her life messed up than face one more of those sessions. So, I backed off, because it is her life. She was removed from a position of leadership in her church when she did not complete the counseling program, and I was heart broken for her. It is common for women who have been molested/sexually assaulted to pack on the pounds because it keeps people away, particularly men. I truly wish that her church would have been more understanding. I highly doubt that she looks in the mirror and loves what/who she sees. How shameful for the church to just add to that! It was kind of you to try to help, but without therapy I doubt it would have worked in the long run, anyway. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Except that it takes so much more than just a family member rolling up her sleeves and helping. It really DOES take therapy AND after-care (more therapy) to get to the bottom of the "WHY?" of it happening in the first place. Family members will drive themselves crazy thinking that they alone can help. Have you asked her if she wants help? (I'm thinking professional help.) Can they afford counseling? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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