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to H'school that is. I'm questioning if God did call me to H'school, or if it was my will alone. I have had two previous failed attempts with DD (K and 1st). I had NO clue what I was doing or what to expect-she went back to PS mid year. I had done no research. I didn't know there were different teaching methods or so many different companies that sold curriculum. Looking back it was a recipe for failure, but again-what if it was God's way of telling me it wasn't the right thing for our children. I was elated when DH suggested H'schooling this year as I wanted to give it another go. I truly felt it was placed on my heart. DH's reason to H'school this year is because we don't plan on staying in Texas and didn't want our children to change schools mid-year (DH did this a lot as a kid and didn't want them to have to go through it). My DD also learned some things in 2nd grade last year from fellow classmates we weren't to thrilled with and we felt this would only increase.

 

I can't figure out if this is the enemy's voice I'm paying attention to. If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability. I don't have any friends here to get together with and no space to fill my creative side. I'm burnt outpurple.gif Between the first day of school and the times in between changing curriculum, 36 weeks will be complete at the end of June. I've barely schooledunsure.gif I think of how different things would be if my DC's were in PS-the peace and quiet at home. Not hearing them argue until it was bedtime. Time to read a book. Time to meet my DH for lunch-alone. Time to be me! And then I feel selfish because my kids should come first right? Putting them back in PS feels like a cop-out. Even writing this makes me want to cry. I don't want to put my kids in PS, but if it's God's will then I need to right?

 

Please give me some insight and your thoughts.

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:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I can't tell you how many times I have switched curriculum in the last 2 years! Lots. We haven't full time schooled in over a month. We do basics and that is pretty much it.

Sounds like you just need a break. Don't do anything but basics for a while then add other things in as time allows. You don't have to follow a set schedule either! That is the beauty with homeschooling! You create your own. 10am or 10pm? Who cares as long as they are learning it. Saturday and Sunday rather than Monday and Tuesday.. go ahead! Want a week ot two off for regrouping? Yup can do that too! You are the school board, school, principal and teacher all in one. You make the rules!

 

I say take a break (even if you just took one) and regroup. Don't be afraid to change curriculum mid year, or even a couple months into it. If no one likes what you are doing everyone will be grumbly!

 

Take a deep breath. We ALL have felt this way at least once in the journey and most of us more than once (humph some of us weekly! :glare:)

:grouphug::grouphug:

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I can't figure out if this is the enemy's voice I'm paying attention to. If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability. I don't have any friends here to get together with and no space to fill my creative side. I'm burnt outpurple.gif Between the first day of school and the times in between changing curriculum, 36 weeks will be complete at the end of June. I've barely schooledunsure.gif I think of how different things would be if my DC's were in PS-the peace and quiet at home. Not hearing them argue until it was bedtime. Time to read a book. Time to meet my DH for lunch-alone. Time to be me! And then I feel selfish because my kids should come first right? Putting them back in PS feels like a cop-out. Even writing this makes me want to cry. I don't want to put my kids in PS, but if it's God's will then I need to right?

 

Please give me some insight and your thoughts.

 

I think you're stressed "in general" and that you may be placing too much of the blame on homeschooling.

 

Think about it.

 

You're living in Texas, but won't be there for much longer, so it's not like you'll be making lifelong friends even if you meet new people you like. It's hardly worth it to get involved in a homeschool group because your kids will have to leave their new friends within a few months. You're probably lonely, and if your kids don't have friends, you are their playmate, which can be very tiring, as well.

 

That would stress anyone out.

 

Of course, there's a possibility that homeschooling isn't for you, and there's no shame in that, and no reason to feel badly about yourself because of it. It works for some people and not for others. It's no indication that one person is a better parent than another; we're talking about lifestyle choices here, not "good vs bad" parenting.

 

It sounds to me like your main problem is disorganization. I'm willing to bet that you don't have a schedule that you stick to every day. If you had a schedule, you could carve out some time for yourself, and your kids would know what to expect each day. Mainly, though, you would get a sense of satisfaction that something was being accomplished and could feel good about yourself as the homeschool teacher.

 

Believe me, you are not at all alone.

 

You need to have some time that is yours and yours alone. Your dh needs to step up and take care of the kids sometimes so you can have a life. If you want a hobby, set a time each day where the kids can watch tv or play video games (or whatever,) and unless someone is bleeding profusely or bones are visible outside their skin, no one is allowed to bother you.

 

I'm sensing that you feel overwhelmed, and I think you need to sit down and decide if it's truly the homeschooling that is causing the problem, or if it's simply that you (like most of us) want to have an identity other than that of "Mom."

 

I only have one ds, and I have to admit that I'm Mom 24/7, and it can be exhausting. I feel guilty when I think about doing things on my own, but I'm working on changing that. (And I should add that the guilt is 100% my own -- my dh has been telling me for years that I need a life of my own, outside of being Mom.)

 

I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. :grouphug: But please don't blame yourself for feeling a little (or a lot) selfish sometimes. We all do, even if we hate to admit it!

 

Cat

Edited by Catwoman
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Well, you know you're gonna move towards us, right? Enjoy them! Take a season of "off school" time if you're getting burned out. Read books... (to them and for you) Hire a sitter for the day, if you're able. Or, try to trade with a friend. Move out here faster, and I'll take them for the day.

I suggest Teaching the Trivium by the Bluedorn's. It's really less about how to teach, and more about how you can view family life.

;)

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Hi, I'm a Christian but I just want to say that I don't see homeschooling as a *calling*. I see it as a choice we are free to make if we see it as a tool, or means by which to train and teach our children. I don't see it as the *only* tool. We are called to teach and train our children to obey God and His Word and ABOUT God and His Word. There are many ways to do this. :001_smile:

 

I'm not reproving you, but just saying that maybe you can give yourself some freedom from that burden of this feeling.

 

I think we can get bogged down under *someone else's laws for us* and end up NOT doing that which we are *truly* called to do. Choose that which helps you do what you are *truly* called to do. For me, it *is* homeschooling. I know many for whom it is not and they still have GREAT, smart, pleasant, moral kids who have faith in Christ. :)

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to H'school that is. I'm questioning if God did call me to H'school, or if it was my will alone. I have had two previous failed attempts with DD (K and 1st). I had NO clue what I was doing or what to expect-she went back to PS mid year. I had done no research. I didn't know there were different teaching methods or so many different companies that sold curriculum. Looking back it was a recipe for failure, but again-what if it was God's way of telling me it wasn't the right thing for our children. I was elated when DH suggested H'schooling this year as I wanted to give it another go. I truly felt it was placed on my heart. DH's reason to H'school this year is because we don't plan on staying in Texas and didn't want our children to change schools mid-year (DH did this a lot as a kid and didn't want them to have to go through it). My DD also learned some things in 2nd grade last year from fellow classmates we weren't to thrilled with and we felt this would only increase.

 

I can't figure out if this is the enemy's voice I'm paying attention to. If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability. I don't have any friends here to get together with and no space to fill my creative side. I'm burnt outpurple.gif Between the first day of school and the times in between changing curriculum, 36 weeks will be complete at the end of June. I've barely schooledunsure.gif I think of how different things would be if my DC's were in PS-the peace and quiet at home. Not hearing them argue until it was bedtime. Time to read a book. Time to meet my DH for lunch-alone. Time to be me! And then I feel selfish because my kids should come first right? Putting them back in PS feels like a cop-out. Even writing this makes me want to cry. I don't want to put my kids in PS, but if it's God's will then I need to right?

 

Please give me some insight and your thoughts.

:grouphug: You need to take time to replenish yourself.

 

There are times were people have a great calling and their are times they make a choice into their calling. Not sure if that makes sense.

 

For example, I am in a court situatuion with ds11 bio dad. He wants me to stop homeschooling him. This has cost us 15,000 (we only made 33,000 last year) and has been a nightmare for my family. It would be so much easier to give up and just say "Fine, he can go to school." But I know that is not what is best in the long run.

 

So though this is causing me pain and stress, I will keep pushing through. I know in the big picture, it is what needs to happen.

 

:grouphug: Be gentle with yourself. Take a break. Put your little ones on the couch with you and read, talk, and cuddle. Throw the curriculum aside for a bit if you need.

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OP, I don't think this is a God/Christian issue. :001_huh:

 

One thing I have observed during my years homeschooling is that it is easier to homeschool when you think of yourselves as a "homeschooling" rather than "take each year as it comes" family. When you think of your family as homeschooling, you begin to look for solutions that fit into the homeschooling paradigm rather than the default "solution" of public school.

 

Homeschooling doesn't (or, at least, shouldn't) mean mom gets no time. Your children are old enough that you can design a life that includes rich learning for them AND time and a decent home for you. You sound like you are bent towards introvertedness. At least a little. As such, it is probably imperative that you get time to "be" on your terms. What that has looked like for me has changed over the years, according to my life circumstances and ages/stages of my kids. I wish I had more stubbornly sought that time in earlier years.

 

You can make homeschooling work. You can make public school work. I'd like to gently suggest you take out "God" or "the enemy" from the evaluation of it all and decide if you are going to homeschool. If you are, then make it work for your family, which includes YOU. If you aren't, your children are not your DH - kids move during school years. They survive, especially when parented well through it.

 

Finally, I have found that I am more free when I do stick to a school routine and schedule and I am more able to enjoy my downtime.

 

 

For example, I am in a court situatuion with ds11 bio dad. He wants me to stop homeschooling him. This has cost us 15,000 (we only made 33,000 last year) and has been a nightmare for my family. It would be so much easier to give up and just say "Fine, he can go to school." But I know that is not what is best in the long run.

 

 

AngelBee, I don't know if you followed my story, but I wanted to post that I totally understand. My situation started as a custody battle and, as that progressed with all indications being none of the professionals felt it was in my oldest son's best interest to move, my xh made "homeschooling" the issue. I ended up, many thousands of legal debt dollars later, settling out of court in a mediated agreement that my son attend the local public high school. It was hell during those battle years.

 

My son has asked to come home, or attend the private school I teach in, since about 2 weeks into his public school expience. The irony is my nearly 16 year old has *less* say in his education than he did prior to the legal battle.

 

I sincerely hope your situation ends in a better resolution for everyone involved.

Edited by Joanne
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I've been trying to figure out a way to put my thoughts on this in writing.

 

I don't think God calls people to homeschool. (I know there are those who will disagree, and that is fine.)

 

You are a mom though. Your "calling" so to speak is to be the best mom "you" can be for your kids. This means taking sober stalk of what their NEEDS are and what you CAN provide.

 

If it is in your kids best interst for you to homeschool...than I think you will.

 

If it isn't than you don't need to pressure yourself.

 

I homeschooled for a season. Then a season came where I was not emotionally capable of it. For that season they went to school. Then the school system took a nose dive and it was no longer in their best interest to go there. Now I homeschool again.

 

I'm called to be a mother, homeschooling is just something I do to fulfill that...it's a tool.

 

I'm called to be a mother, public school was something I used to fulfill that...it is a tool.

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to H'school that is. I'm questioning if God did call me to H'school, or if it was my will alone. I have had two previous failed attempts with DD (K and 1st). I had NO clue what I was doing or what to expect-she went back to PS mid year. I had done no research. I didn't know there were different teaching methods or so many different companies that sold curriculum. Looking back it was a recipe for failure, but again-what if it was God's way of telling me it wasn't the right thing for our children. I was elated when DH suggested H'schooling this year as I wanted to give it another go. I truly felt it was placed on my heart. DH's reason to H'school this year is because we don't plan on staying in Texas and didn't want our children to change schools mid-year (DH did this a lot as a kid and didn't want them to have to go through it). My DD also learned some things in 2nd grade last year from fellow classmates we weren't to thrilled with and we felt this would only increase.

 

I can't figure out if this is the enemy's voice I'm paying attention to. If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability. I don't have any friends here to get together with and no space to fill my creative side. I'm burnt outpurple.gif Between the first day of school and the times in between changing curriculum, 36 weeks will be complete at the end of June. I've barely schooledunsure.gif I think of how different things would be if my DC's were in PS-the peace and quiet at home. Not hearing them argue until it was bedtime. Time to read a book. Time to meet my DH for lunch-alone. Time to be me! And then I feel selfish because my kids should come first right? Putting them back in PS feels like a cop-out. Even writing this makes me want to cry. I don't want to put my kids in PS, but if it's God's will then I need to right?

 

Please give me some insight and your thoughts.

 

I think part of being "called" involves a desire and propensity to do what you're being "called" to do.

 

Here's what I'd suggest:

 

Figure out if you WANT to homeschool, and why. Don't burden yourself with the "Did God call me to do this?" issue, just decide in your heart if this is something you want to do.

 

If no, then put your kids in PS or private school without guilt.

 

If yes, then examine why it's such a battle. Do you need to take some time to work on character issues with your dc? Do you need some counsel and help in getting a plan and implementing it? Do you need some time to get your home organized? Is self-discipline a problem? I'm just throwing things out here. Sometimes when I want to do something I just need someone to help me get going and cheer me on along the way on occasion.

 

BTW, I don't believe that just because one is a Christian that they are automatically mandated from God to homeschool. People and families are in different places in their lives at different times. This might be a time to put the dc in school and take a breather and regroup. Or, maybe homeschooling isn't right for your family. Or maybe it is, but you're off to a rocky start. Only you can really determine that. And there's nothing wrong with the decision you reach for now, and the choice you make now doesn't have to be the choice for forever.

 

:grouphug:

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Could you post why school is barely being done? What is causing you not to school?

 

How important to you is your dh's desire for you to homeschool?

 

How important to you is it to protect your dc from learning bad habits and ideas from public school.

 

How important to you is a God Centered education?

 

I would call any vacations you took, any field trips ect... as "school days". Please remember, public schools may go everyday, but that doesn't mean they are actually schooling. Get your days accounted for so you can end at the end of May. Public school almost NEVER finish an entire text book. Public school texts are not designed to be completed. They add extra stuff to the end in case a teacher actually does get to what is considered the end (I've been a PS teacher and have been told this by curriculum publishers). Don't feel bad for not completing the entire text!

 

What about your dc and the curriculum is causing you to change?

 

Can your dc do an activity each week so you can have some down time? Dance, music, ect...?

 

I know how your are feeling...the arguing, no time to yourself. That is very normal.

 

Maybe if you give us some more info we can help.

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AngelBee, I don't know if you followed my story, but I wanted to post that I totally understand. My situation started as a custody battle and, as that progressed with all indications being none of the professionals felt it was in my oldest son's best interest to move, my xh made "homeschooling" the issue. I ended up, many thousands of legal debt dollars later, settling out of court in a mediated agreement that my son attend the local public high school. It was hell during those battle years.

 

My son has asked to come home, or attend the private school I teach in, since about 2 weeks into his public school expience. The irony is my nearly 16 year old has *less* say in his education than he did prior to the legal battle.

 

I sincerely hope your situation ends in a better resolution for everyone involved.

This is my biggest fear. I have 6 other children that will still be homeschooling. Ds11 WANTS to homeschool. :( This has been a nightmare.

 

:grouphug: I am so sorry that you had to go through something like this.

 

Oh...I have followed your story and prayed for your family in the past. Such a difficult situation.

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Could you post why school is barely being done? What is causing you not to school?

 

How important to you is your dh's desire for you to homeschool?

 

How important to you is it to protect your dc from learning bad habits and ideas from public school.

 

How important to you is a God Centered education?

 

I would call any vacations you took, any field trips ect... as "school days". Please remember, public schools may go everyday, but that doesn't mean they are actually schooling. Get your days accounted for so you can end at the end of May. Public school almost NEVER finish an entire text book. Public school texts are not designed to be completed. They add extra stuff to the end in case a teacher actually does get to what is considered the end (I've been a PS teacher and have been told this by curriculum publishers). Don't feel bad for not completing the entire text!

 

What about your dc and the curriculum is causing you to change?

 

Can your dc do an activity each week so you can have some down time? Dance, music, ect...?

 

I know how your are feeling...the arguing, no time to yourself. That is very normal.

 

Maybe if you give us some more info we can help.

:iagree:

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I agree with the pps that we need more information about why things aren't going the way you'd like.

 

I also agree that you might want to stop trying to figure out if it was God or "the enemy" (I'm assuming here that you're referring to Satan) who called you to hs, or to not hs. If, with every decision we make, we're trying to figure out if the voice of our deity is telling us to do it or not do it, or if something darker is trying to confuse us, we'll go insane. The way I look at it, when the universe calls you to do something, you KNOW. If you're unsure and trying to figure things out, that's good old human nature, trying to figure out a way to make things work.

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Hi, I'm a Christian but I just want to say that I don't see homeschooling as a *calling*.

 

I agree. I think we hear too much about how God "has a plan for our lives", and we can get bogged down in exactly how we are to know for sure what that plan is. Maybe God's plan isn't so specific as "You will now homeschool your children." "You will now move to Minnesota." "You will now buy the blue minivan." Maybe it's simply to live our lives serving him to the best of our abilities. And we have many different ways we can do that. I'm not saying that some people aren't "called" to serve in certain capacities, but perhaps that's just a fancy way of saying that they're simply suited to that particular calling.

 

So maybe what you should do is try to objectively figure out if homeschooling is a good fit for your family. And just because you have a bad day or a bad week or even a few bad months doesn't mean that public school would be a better choice. But maybe it would. :)

 

One thing I have observed during my years homeschooling is that it is easier to homeschool when you think of yourselves as a "homeschooling" rather than "take each year as it comes" family.

 

Just to be the voice of dissent here, :D but I've found it easier to think of myself as a "take each year as it comes" family. I don't know what the future will hold, and that's fine. This year, we are homeschooling. I feel less trapped by it, thinking of it this way. Otherwise, I'm committed for the next 10 years. And on bad days, that's not a pleasant thought.

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Ok....don't mean to add to the issue, but homeschooling can be a calling. For me it is. I was told by God during my first pregnancy that I was to homeschool my children. I take that very seriously.

 

Does that mean I am more Godly? NO! It may not be a calling for others. Like I am not being called currently to travel and spread the Gospel. :)

 

You do as much as you can do and you leave the rest up to Him. :)

 

:grouphug:

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I don't think homeschooling is a calling by God at all. I don't think God is going to think less of me if I choose to place my ds in regular school whether it is a public or private school.

 

Many children thrive in school. I think what helps them to thrive is parents who care and love them:) I think parents are better able to love and care for their children if they also care and love themselves. If you feel that you need a break from homeschooling or that you don't want to homeschool then that is fine:) It does not make you less of a parent or less of a Christian at all to not homeschool. I think you should do what it takes to take of yourself so that you can better take care of your kids.

:grouphug:

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I was told by God during my first pregnancy that I was to homeschool my children.

 

I don't think homeschooling is a calling by God at all.

 

Homeschooling may not be a 'calling' for YOU, Priscilla, but look what the poster right above you said. Homeschooling, evidently, IS a 'calling' for some. ;)

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Perhaps it is a calling for some. I respect that...

Also, however, God gave us these wonderful, rational, amazing brains with which to reason. I think God wants (some of - I do not want to insult those who believe otherwise) us to logically look at our circumstances and our goals and decide what to do. Why else would he give us the ability to reason?

So - trust in the fact that you are intelligent and can figure out what is best for your fmaily - because God gave you the ability to do so.

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I just wanted to add that I think it's very normal and very common to question your choice to homeschool. I do it just about every week. Seriously. I may be wrong, but you sound tired, maybe a bit burned out. January is notorious for being a burn out month for many homeschoolers. Add in the fact that you are in a new state.....well, I can relate to that one. It's very hard not having a support network of friends or familiar things around. I agree with what many others have said-take some break time, do something fun, recharge.

Again, I could be wrong, but this doesn't sound like it's about homeschooling as much as it may be about "life" for you (right now). Wishing you a wonderful week and clarity with everything.

 

BTW-not feeling the groove with curriculum caused me to really question homeschooling. Once you find the right fit, that may help a ton! Best wished for you.

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Perhaps it is a calling for some. I respect that...

Also, however, God gave us these wonderful, rational, amazing brains with which to reason. I think God wants (some of - I do not want to insult those who believe otherwise) us to logically look at our circumstances and our goals and decide what to do. Why else would he give us the ability to reason?

So - trust in the fact that you are intelligent and can figure out what is best for your fmaily - because God gave you the ability to do so.

:iagree:

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Homeschooling may not be a 'calling' for YOU, Priscilla, but look what the poster right above you said. Homeschooling, evidently, IS a 'calling' for some. ;)

Yes I see that but I don't think it is a calling in the sense that it is morally superior. I think God wants us to love one another and ourselves foremost. If we need to change gears and not homeschool to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of of family then I think it is with God's blessing:)

 

I have learned that if one does not love one's self or take care of one's needs then it is very hard to love others and take care of their needs. It is better for children to have happy and healthy parents IMHO.

 

I think homeschooling is great but it is not always great. I myself chose not to do school at home this school year so that I could take care of myself. I think it far better for my ds to have me happy and healthy:)

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January is notorious for being a burn out month for many homeschoolers.

 

I remember the WTM mentions that late January/early Feb is a horrible time for everyone. If it's always been the middle of the year when you've hit the wall, could it be something having to do with weather or cabin fever?

 

Mama Anna

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There is no need to put added pressure on yourself of what you "should" do. It's horrible to live with guilty feelings. I would take some time to consider all that is happening with your home school situation. Try to remove some of the emotion out of it, even if you need to get together with your husband to write a pro/con list. Then make a rational decision based on your needs "at this time", nothing is written in stone, and go with that. Guilt. Free.:001_smile: You can always revisit your circumstances at a later time. Know that whatever decision you make, it won't be detrimental to you or your kids.:grouphug:

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Well, I believe that the Bible teaches us that God is concerned with the details of our lives, and that He leads and directs us in the decisions that we make. At the same time, I don't think that He directs everyone to homeschool.

 

When we were seeking direction about whether or not to homeschool we spent time praying about it, reading about our options, and talking with other homeschoolers. Eventually my husband and I both reached a point where we felt like God was telling us that homeschooling would be His 'best' for our family. I never felt like I was being forced to homeschool, but simply that Public school was not going to be the 'best' for us.

 

And there are many, many days when I struggle with homeschooling, that I simply fall back on knowing that this is God's 'best'. I think you have to make homeschooling work for you. What are your priorities?

For us, the priority is for our children to be filled with wonder and awe at the knowledge and understanding of God. We want them to be people who know Him and love Him above anything else. Other than that, I place an emphasis on good literature - because I really enjoy it. I don't have the interest or time to teach Latin. Maybe some day we'll get to Spanish.

 

I also often long for time to myself. On days like that I institute "Quiet Time" and send everyone to their rooms for a while.

 

It also helps me to step back and look at the 'big picture'. My kids are doing awesome academically, and even more importantly, they are growing in godly character.

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Well, I believe that the Bible teaches us that God is concerned with the details of our lives, and that He leads and directs us in the decisions that we make. At the same time, I don't think that He directs everyone to homeschool.

 

When we were seeking direction about whether or not to homeschool we spent time praying about it, reading about our options, and talking with other homeschoolers. Eventually my husband and I both reached a point where we felt like God was telling us that homeschooling would be His 'best' for our family. I never felt like I was being forced to homeschool, but simply that Public school was not going to be the 'best' for us.

 

And there are many, many days when I struggle with homeschooling, that I simply fall back on knowing that this is God's 'best'. I think you have to make homeschooling work for you. What are your priorities?

For us, the priority is for our children to be filled with wonder and awe at the knowledge and understanding of God. We want them to be people who know Him and love Him above anything else. Other than that, I place an emphasis on good literature - because I really enjoy it. I don't have the interest or time to teach Latin. Maybe some day we'll get to Spanish.

 

I also often long for time to myself. On days like that I institute "Quiet Time" and send everyone to their rooms for a while.

 

It also helps me to step back and look at the 'big picture'. My kids are doing awesome academically, and even more importantly, they are growing in godly character.

:iagree:

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I can't figure out if this is the enemy's voice I'm paying attention to. If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability

 

 

Just wanted to add my thoughts. In my early twenties, when I had a dilemma this is where my thoughts would take me......Is it God or the Devil talking in my head? I can tell you with absolute confidence that the way out of this thinking is away from that question. This is anxiety and stress talking to you not God. You need to find peace and balance before you try to make a decision. Do not try to figure this out in a state of anxiety and stress. When you find more balance.....your thinking will take less effort and without the emotional and religious overtones. One thing that helps me is a founding principle of Occupational Therapy.....a balance of work, rest and play. I use this idea when I am out of balance and thus stressed. Find your balance first. One more helpful thing I do.......Imagine God as a loving father who wraps his arms around you because you are upset....he is the source of your comfort not your stress!!

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to H'school that is. I'm questioning if God did call me to H'school, or if it was my will alone. I have had two previous failed attempts with DD (K and 1st). I had NO clue what I was doing or what to expect-she went back to PS mid year. I had done no research. I didn't know there were different teaching methods or so many different companies that sold curriculum. Looking back it was a recipe for failure, but again-what if it was God's way of telling me it wasn't the right thing for our children. I was elated when DH suggested H'schooling this year as I wanted to give it another go. I truly felt it was placed on my heart. DH's reason to H'school this year is because we don't plan on staying in Texas and didn't want our children to change schools mid-year (DH did this a lot as a kid and didn't want them to have to go through it). My DD also learned some things in 2nd grade last year from fellow classmates we weren't to thrilled with and we felt this would only increase.

 

I can't figure out if this is the enemy's voice I'm paying attention to. If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability. I don't have any friends here to get together with and no space to fill my creative side. I'm burnt outpurple.gif Between the first day of school and the times in between changing curriculum, 36 weeks will be complete at the end of June. I've barely schooledunsure.gif I think of how different things would be if my DC's were in PS-the peace and quiet at home. Not hearing them argue until it was bedtime. Time to read a book. Time to meet my DH for lunch-alone. Time to be me! And then I feel selfish because my kids should come first right? Putting them back in PS feels like a cop-out. Even writing this makes me want to cry. I don't want to put my kids in PS, but if it's God's will then I need to right?

 

Please give me some insight and your thoughts.

 

 

:grouphug: Sometimes we need perspective. The transition from ps to hs takes time. Going from a ps mom to a hs mom takes time as well. Finding a rhythm in your day and your curriculum also takes time. At anytime the things that you have all figured out can and will fall apart. Siblings also need time to learn to get along with each other all.day.long. Finding time for yourself and your husband in new ways takes time as well.

 

None of this means that you should not be homeschooling. It doesn't mean you are doing a bad job. You just have to know that everything will not just fall into place and there is chaos and it is messy and crazy....and wonderful, and amazing and......

 

I have this great idea about how homeschooling should look in my house...on a rare day it gets close. Most of the time it is a struggle, and for a short while everything does go well. And then life happens.

 

Yet, my children learn. They learn to get along, they are progressing! I see that learning is happening even when we had the chicken-pox and then the flu and then my bil died and then my dh's uncle died all in the course of two months!

 

Just because things are hard, doesn't necessarily mean that you are not doing what God wants you to do. You have to look deeper. Look at the saints, none of them had it easy but they were called by God.

 

There are solutions to your problems, but first you and dh need to pray for direction. Step back, take a deep breath, and see where God leads.

 

HTH

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I think that as parents we are all called to do the best we can for our specific children that God has specifically given us to raise; not as owners, but as stewards and helpers.

 

I am quite certain that God does call some people to homeschool their children. However, although I think that in most cases homeschooling is the best choice through at least 4th grade, that is not ALWAYS true and it is not ALWAYS the case that homeschooling is God's best for every family. I would not assume that He strongly wants you either to homeschool or not to homeschool. What is clear is that He wants you to be responsible for your child's education, whether in school or out of school, and that He wants you to teach your children all about Him, whether in school or out of school. One way or another, this is a big part of your God-given vocation as a parent.

 

If homeschooling is on your heart, than being GOOD AT homeschooling should be on your heart as well. That means picking some things and doing them regularly. Don't give up without really trying this! All good things have an element of difficulty. This one, you can do. Go for it!

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Between the first day of school and the times in between changing curriculum, 36 weeks will be complete at the end of June. I've barely schooledunsure.gif

 

I think of how different things would be if my DC's were in PS-the peace and quiet at home. Not hearing them argue until it was bedtime. Time to read a book. Time to meet my DH for lunch-alone. Time to be me! And then I feel selfish because my kids should come first right?

 

The part that most caught my eye in your post was where you say, "I've barely schooled." I think that needs to be addressed. What do you mean by that? How many days of school have you done this school year? Why haven't you schooled? What are you doing with the time? Cleaning? Watching TV? Taking care on an infant? Do you have other responsibilities that come before schooling?

 

If the kids are fighting all day, what are you doing to stop it? Do you not school because they resist learning? Do they fight all day because you aren't doing enough school and they're bored? Are you bored with schooling? Is the curriculum boring? Does it require too much prep work, so you never get around to doing it?

 

Can you be a little more specific about what you dislike about homeschooling? There might be a solution if we know specifics. Think over your day and let us know the biggest blocks to getting school done.

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I expect that other people have posted similar things, but here's a veteran's advice who more or less successfully hs'ed from 4th-through high school. I say more or less, because there is no perfect educational path. They all have pro's and con's.

 

I am a Christian, but did not see this as a calling nor was it a total lifestyle. Reading TWTM cemented my decision to go ahead with hsing, but it was Charlotte Mason themed materials that were most helpful in the early years; how I wish I'd come across Karen Andreola's newsletters earlier! CM believed that fully a third of education was based on practicing discipline which was in turn based on the early formation of good habits. That has to come first. The second aspect that CM stressed was that education must be grounded in a general atmosphere--a regard for and enjoyment of learning. Academics in the form of hours spent doing school using specific books or curricula is--not exactly an afterthought--but an outgrowth of discipline and atmosphere. I also posted on some similar issues in Heather in NC's thread.

 

ETA: I do not agree with the people who say that if you are a Christian you must do x, y, and z, or those who say that it is wrong for Christians to send their children to public school. What another family is called to do is one thing; your calling may be far different--I'm leery of people who try to mediate my family's calling. Homeschooling has many rewards, but it is only one educational choice. Your relationship with your children is far more important than where they attend school.

Edited by Martha in NM
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Yes I see that but I don't think it is a calling in the sense that it is morally superior. I think God wants us to love one another and ourselves foremost. If we need to change gears and not homeschool to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of of family then I think it is with God's blessing:)

 

 

 

I think Simka said it best. Motherhood is a calling - we all use different tools to accomplish that.

 

I don't think a calling is about moral superiority either. Some people are called to be missionaries. They aren't superior to me, they have different gifts and talents and should use them that way. Some people are called to be doctors. I don't think a calling is a moral issue at all. I would guess some people are called to homeschool. I don't feel it's a calling for me, I feel it's the best choice for my children right now. I know others who feel it is their only choice if they want to please God. Different people, different callings.

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This caught my eye in your original post:

 

If not having any time to myself is causing the anxiety and irritability.

 

Absolutely, this could be the root of the problem; that's especially true if you are a person who needs more solitude than others. Even if that's not true of you generally, being with your children 24/7 can be an incredibly intense experience even when things are going well. Maybe what you need is some time alone to sort out first whether or not you want to truly want to homeschool and, if the answer is yes, take a hard look at the things that are and are not working. If the answer is no, you'll also need to think about how to deal with ps issues. Private schools have their own pro's and con's.

 

Does your church offer retreats? Can your husband help you carve out some time and space just for you? I've been enjoying Bonhoeffer's Discipleship which discusses how callings differ according to general and personal circumstances. There is no "one size fits all" for callings. Discipleship is dense reading, so I'm also reading a daily devotional based on Bonhoeffer's writing by Charles Ringma. One reviewer called it Bonhoeffer for Dummies :lol:. It's not dumbed down, but there are lots of days when I can assimilate only small doses.

 

YMMV, but for me the decision of whether to stay in ps or try hs was separate from the things we as a family had to do in order to make either choice a success.

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Guest RecumbentHeart
Originally Posted by M&M viewpost.gif

Just because things are hard, doesn't necessarily mean that you are not doing what God wants you to do. You have to look deeper. Look at the saints, none of them had it easy but they were called by God.

 

I agree with this too although honestly, the only reason I've even made it as far as Kindergarten is because I don't consider homeschooling to be a calling.

 

:grouphug: Even an agonizingly difficult road isn't necessarily a wrong road.

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I haven't read through, so this was probably already mentioned, but just in case ... :)

 

It sounds like you need some time to yourself. If you make up a schooling schedule, you can easily work into that an hour or so for yourself. Maybe right after lunch, they can have some playtime, and then an hour of quiet time - they can read or whatever in their rooms. Then you can have some alone, quiet time.

 

Your husband may be able to help too by giving you some time alone in the evenings. Maybe he could take them to the park or do something with them to give you time to yourself.

 

I don't know if you're meant to homeschool or not, but even when people are absolutely sure that they're called to do so, there is an adjustment time. It takes at least a year, and usually more, to get things the way you'd like them to be. Your children are young enough that they can easily make up anything that they get behind in this year. Prioritize what you want to teach them - make it simple - reading, math, writing - and then add in the history, science, music and whatnot as you're able.

 

Also, make sure you schedule some fun! Go to museums and do other field trips. Look online for homeschool groups in your area and see if there are any you'd be interested in joining. That can give you some other moms to be with and also give your kids some time to be with other kids.

 

Even if you did absolutely no school this year, you won't be "ruining" them. :001_smile:

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The part that most caught my eye in your post was where you say, "I've barely schooled." I think that needs to be addressed. What do you mean by that? How many days of school have you done this school year? Why haven't you schooled? What are you doing with the time? Cleaning? Watching TV? Taking care on an infant? Do you have other responsibilities that come before schooling?

 

If the kids are fighting all day, what are you doing to stop it? Do you not school because they resist learning? Do they fight all day because you aren't doing enough school and they're bored? Are you bored with schooling? Is the curriculum boring? Does it require too much prep work, so you never get around to doing it?

 

Can you be a little more specific about what you dislike about homeschooling? There might be a solution if we know specifics. Think over your day and let us know the biggest blocks to getting school done.

 

 

:iagree: Do you WANT to homeschool? What are your educational plans for your kids? Homeschooling can be massively difficult. There has to be some source of motivation for it to work. What is your motivation?

 

You have got to work with your kids every day. School has to be your #1 Priority. Everything else needs to wait until school hours are over (and, yes, I'm going to repeat this mantra to myself later this morning :D).

 

I also look at homeschooling as a "lifestyle". When they're not sitting down with schoolwork, the kids are going hiking, collecting bugs, building something, googling the latest reptile of interest, reading, etc. The lifestyle perspective helps. :glare: It keeps the momentum going.

 

When my kids are fighting and screaming, it's usually a sign that my day has collapsed and it's time to get out of the house.

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