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Chemical straightening for wavy/curly white girl's hair?


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Our hair is at that point where it is just curly enough to make it harder to fix and look shorter or puffy... and well, it just doesn't go well with our face unless we straighten it, which rarely happens because I don't take the time. I have in the past gotten it permanently curled and that helped. Emily is 8 and is wanting hers permanently straightened instead. I am thinking, "Hey I want mine done too!" Think it will work?

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I have a caucasian friend who has her hair chemically straightened, although she goes from intensely curly to still quite curly. I'm sure a stylist can help you out.
Yes, that is what my best friend has (I don't know if she really qualifies as caucasian, but anyway... she mentioned that she had hers straightened and I was like ::light bulb!:: I am not sure about our hair with our slightly curly texture. Thank you for commenting!
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My hair is ubber curly. I did several chemical straighteners as child. Burned my scalp more than once. I'm sure they've improved, but really all it did was further my disgust with my own natural style.

 

I would be hesitant to use chemicals like that on an 8 year old. Agreed with above I would instead help her find ways to embrace what she has.

 

~Paula (who was almost 40 before she quit fighting her natural style)

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I have stick straight hair, so feel free to totally ignore my opinion :001_smile: I do have two dds with curly hair though so I have lived through their frustration. I have heard one scream she wanted to shave her head! So I do understand somewhat :001_smile: The 20 yo is curly, the 16 yo is UBBER curly! The older finally embraced her curliness about 4 years ago and the 16 yo is still struggling, but getting there. I would recommend finding ways to work with the curliness instead of fight it. There are curly specialists now who can cut your hair to make it look its best. Also there are TONS of products just for curly hair. The trick is to find the ones that work for you. My dds do not use the same products. I just think it could be setting up your dd for a lifetime of fighting her natural hair. Wouldn't it be better to help her learn to work with what she has and be thrilled with that?

 

Just my 2 cents,

Mary

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I have curly hair, as do most of my kids. I hated my hair growing up and didn't learn to style it until after college. My recomendations:

 

#1 get "Curly Girl" book. It's a $10 book on how to care for and style curly hair (even wavy or loose curls like yours has). The tips in this book changed my life! Sad but true. My hair is much better now and I love it more.

 

#2 Be very careful with how you talk about and deal with your daughter's hair. You may think it looks better straight, but the fact is, her hair has waves. It will have waves forever. If you teach her to hate it, she'll always be disatisfied with her looks. If you try to embrace her unique look, she'll be more likely to love it herself. Learn to take care of her hair just as it is. Make it look its best without drastically trying to change it.

 

I straightened my hair once and it looked "great" but after only a month or so, the damage began to show and it was dry and ugly. After that, I decided that God made me this way for a reason and I've tried to except my "look" gratefully.

 

Just my two cents. Good luck! I feel your pain!

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I have curly hair too. I use Pantene and lots of mousse! =) I have to wash my hair daily. I use the 2 in 1 shampoo most of the time. However in winter when the weather is less humid I tend to shampoo and use conditioner as well. I used to think I looked better with straight hair too, but I've had curly, "big" hair for so long that I don't think I look good with it straight. :D I also have my hair thinned so that helps with the weight and laying down a bit as well.

 

HTH!

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But our hair is not uber curly. It is just slightly curly and looks soooo much better straight.

 

I'd invest in a good straightener - Chi are the best - and use that. I have thick hair that is a combo of wavy/curly (the annoying sort that just won't be one or the other!) and if I straighten my hair on Monday morning after a shower (blow out straight and then run the straightener over it with some light heat protectant spray), I can get by until usually Friday without having to re-do. I might have to run the straightener over bits of of it quick if I've been somewhere humid and gotten a few waves back, or if I slept on it funny, but overall it stays straight.

 

When my dd14 was 10, she wanted a perm (hers is stick straight) and the hairdresser told me that they can NOT guarantee any results on a child - it might have curled and fallen out the next day! (the curls, not her hair)... something to do with the hair structure or whatever... he advised STRONGLY not to bother.

 

Also - I don't know what straight perms are like now, but when I was 19 I got one done (I'm 33) and it came out HORRIBLE. It totally killed my hair. And I do mean KILLED MY HAIR. It was a mess of frizz, split, dried... it looked terrible and there was nothing I could do. No amount of conditioner/etc could fix it.

 

see this photo? my hair ended up a lot like that.

 

Yeah so.. my suggestion? Blow out/straighten with good equipment (so it works, and quickly). Stay away from the straight perms/etc.

 

edit: obviously my intent here is that YOU would use the straightener on your daughter's hair, not her. VERY HOT. not something a child can use safely.

 

Also - would your daughter like it if her hair was super curly? (instead of just 'slightly') You could get her some curlers to sleep in - my dd14 still does that.

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#2 Be very careful with how you talk about and deal with your daughter's hair. You may think it looks better straight, but the fact is, her hair has waves. It will have waves forever. If you teach her to hate it, she'll always be disatisfied with her looks. If you try to embrace her unique look, she'll be more likely to love it herself. Learn to take care of her hair just as it is. Make it look its best without drastically trying to change it.

 

 

:iagree:I forgot to say in my earlier post that hair can change with puberty! My 16 yo had loose curls until she was 12 and then it went UBBER curly. We're talking VERY tight ringlets all over her head. She cannot comb it once it is dry or the volume increases 5 fold and it turns to frizz. So learning how to embrace the curlies could stand your dd in good stead for the future.

 

My dd heard that pregnancy could possibly relax her curl so she said she may go for 10 kids :001_smile:

 

Mary

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I would really try to avoid any intense beauty treatments on such a young girl.

 

Have you done any reasearch on curly hair? Learning how to care for your curls makes all the difference. I would try to help my little girl to care for her curls. I think I would try to be especially careful with my daughters about the messages I'm giving them regarding physical appearance.

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:iagree:I forgot to say in my earlier post that hair can change with puberty! My 16 yo had loose curls until she was 12 and then it went UBBER curly. We're talking VERY tight ringlets all over her head. She cannot comb it once it is dry or the volume increases 5 fold and it turns to frizz. So learning how to embrace the curlies could stand your dd in good stead for the future.

 

My dd heard that pregnancy could possibly relax her curl so she said she may go for 10 kids :001_smile:

 

Mary

 

Ha ha! I had quite the opposite experience. I had baby fine, poker straight hair until I hit puberty; then, it thickened up quite nicely and developed a bit of body. I was shocked when, about four months into my first pregnancy, I discovered curly roots where my hair had grown during the pregnancy. Thirteen years and three pregnancies later I'm still a curly girl.

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Wow the assumptions on this board are amazing. My daughter is also very unhappy with her weight. She started going to a competitive tumbling class and noticed that everyone there was smaller than her. I had nothing to do with it, but now that she has noticed I have been teaching her about calories and such. I guess that makes me horrible to.

 

I have seen assumptions in other threads, but had never experienced it myself. It is annoying.

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Wow the assumptions on this board are amazing. My daughter is also very unhappy with her weight. She started going to a competitive tumbling class and noticed that everyone there was smaller than her. I had nothing to do with it, but now that she has noticed I have been teaching her about calories and such. I guess that makes me horrible to.

 

I have seen assumptions in other threads, but had never experienced it myself. It is annoying.

 

I understand. I have a dd that is AA and she has hated her curly hair since she was 2. I am constantly telling her how pretty it is and talking up the styles she can wear but SHE hates it. Sometimes kids really do get ideas on their own (or through society somehow... who knows).

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Carmen, I don't see anyone assuming anything, and I definitely didn't see anyone say anything about you being horrible! I think everyone's just speaking from their own place about this. That's all we can do, share what we've been through and our own experiences.

 

My own experience is that I tried to have my curly hair professionally straightened with a mid-level (i.e., not totally natural, but not hard-core) chemical straightener. It did nothing for my hair. No one even noticed I'd had anything done! And my hair is curly, but loose curly, not super tight. I sat there for hours with that stuff in my hair, and paid $100, and nothing! I wouldn't use the mega-chemical ones either. One other thing to think about is that once you start it, you're kind of committed to keeping it going, and that can be big bucks and long-term exposure to those kinds of chemicals. As much as I want straight hair (and oh, I reallyreallyreally do!), I can't bring myself to go there.

 

I'd keep experimenting with finding ways to work with what you both have too. We have a similar issue with my DD5, who has serious curls that get HUGE once her hair dries. We're experimenting all the time. Right now, pigtail braids are the thing :D

 

I've also heard from many curly girls, but haven't been able to really research or start yet, that going the no-shampoo route can really improve the look and feel of natural curls. One of my good friends, who has waves but not curls, swears by it and will never go back to the conventional shampoo routine.

 

HTH!

Edited by melissel
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I grew up with naturally curly hair and always wanted straight. Straight is sometimes just a nice change. I liken it to going from a drab shirt to that lovely floral one. Once I tire of the bright floral, the other shirt doesn't look so drab any longer, in fact it looks refreshing. Her hair will most likely not stay straight, even using chemicals. My hair will stay this lovely straight, stylish style only thru the dry winter. Once summer's humidity comes it is back to waves and curls.

 

Finding a good stylist will be critical as she ages. I have had many bad haircuts by people who really don't understand curl dynamics. My current hairdresser though does something no one else has done. The only product she puts in my hair is Moroccan Oil. My hair is long and thick so she massages an amount about the size of a quarter thru my hair from scalp to end. She then uses huge huge round brushes and dries my hair straight. It will last at least 3 days and be this beautiful silky personality of its own.

 

If you go to a beauty supply store there are also a large number of products available to help keep hair straight. When I wore my hair straight more often I would just ask my stylist what was considered best at the time. Some of it is pretty pricey though.

 

You may also want to experiment with some products for African American hair. They have shampoos that will help relax the hair naturally so it is easier to style after washing. I use my dd's on my hair occassionally because they do help. My friend will about every 2 months wash her very curly hair with AA products just to restore the moisture levels. Even caucasian curly hair tends to be on the dry side.

 

There are also products made for African American girls to straighten hair. Even the 'not harsh' ones are harsh IMO. The next problem happens though as the hair grows out. At some point she will either have to continue straightening her hair, or know that the bottom will be straight and the top curley wavy as it grows. When one of our foster dds wanted to let the straightened part of her hair grow so she could 'go natural', her hair broke where the perm ended and the natural began. It was a long process to get it healthy again.

 

I don't know how long her hair is, but if it is on the short side you can buy hair that she can add to a pony tail and wear. In the AA stores especially I have seen headbands with hair to give the sleek look - and in about every color of the rainbow, not just black. And not just headbands. I have a couple of hair clips I can use to make my hair appear as a long straight ponytail. They are large, well disguised, and snap over the bun I put my other hair in.

 

I hope this helps you get some other ideas of what you can look for.

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If you do decide to use a chemical straightener, I'd suggest avoiding the Brazilian Blowout products since they may contain formaldehyde which has been classified as a probable human carcinogen by the EPA. (An international agency has classified it as a known carcinogen.) I would be very cautious about anyone claiming their product does not contain formaldehyde. Independent testing has shown otherwise in some products.

 

If you really want to try something, you could try Japanese straightening, but it can be very damaging and leave your hair extremely straight.

 

HTH.

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I don't think anyone's attacking you, but offering their experience that chemicals on an 8 year old are harsh and that a better long term solution may be acceptance. That does not, however, resolve the short term issue!

 

And every hair dresser I've ever gone to has had curly hair and been a big fan of straightening everyone's hair (through chemical or manual means [blow drying]), and referred to my lack of desire to do so as laziness on my part.

 

Also there are a lot of curly people struggling with their curls, so they don't always look as good as they could. I love Teri La Flesh's hair and tips, although she has very curly hair.

http://www.tightlycurly.com/

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:iagree:I forgot to say in my earlier post that hair can change with puberty! My 16 yo had loose curls until she was 12 and then it went UBBER curly. We're talking VERY tight ringlets all over her head. She cannot comb it once it is dry or the volume increases 5 fold and it turns to frizz. So learning how to embrace the curlies could stand your dd in good stead for the future.

 

My dd heard that pregnancy could possibly relax her curl so she said she may go for 10 kids :001_smile:

 

Mary

 

It can go the other way too. I had stick-straight hair all through childhood. I got a perm in 4th grade that didn't stick. Everything I did to curl it, including curling irons and hot rollers would work temporarily (as in 20-30 minutes). Only sleeping in sponge rollers worked for me. Then I got pregnant and little by little with each pregnancy my hair has gotten more wavy. I can now, with the help of hair products and a diffuser, have curly hair. Otherwise I have very noticeable waves.

 

To the OP, my 12yo wants a perm. I hesitate to take her because I had disappointing results when I got my hair permed at 10 yo. Just be sure to let your DD know that it might not work.

Edited by extendedforecast
Grammar
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And every hair dresser I've ever gone to has had curly hair and been a big fan of straightening everyone's hair (through chemical or manual means [blow drying]), and referred to my lack of desire to do so as laziness on my part.

 

Hey, this is true!!! Why is that?! Actually, only my current stylist, who is Middle Eastern, has never done this to me. She has thick, luscious waves herself. She's also in her mid-fifties, probably. She raves about my hair. But yes, every young, caucasian stylist I've ever had has either had straight hair and pushed straightening mine or has had curly hair that they've straightened and pushed me to straighten mine!

 

ETA: I wonder if it's an upsell thing--like, if they guilt you enough, you'll decide to let them go ahead and blow it out or straighten it and they'll get the extra money? Yet another reason I love my current stylist :D

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Wow the assumptions on this board are amazing. My daughter is also very unhappy with her weight. She started going to a competitive tumbling class and noticed that everyone there was smaller than her. I had nothing to do with it, but now that she has noticed I have been teaching her about calories and such. I guess that makes me horrible to.

 

I have seen assumptions in other threads, but had never experienced it myself. It is annoying.

 

I apologize if my post sounded assumptive. I didn't mean it that way. Probably projecting my own experience, where I spent most of my youth fighting what nature gave me (not just the hair either).

 

:grouphug: It was not my intent to make you feel bad.

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I'd invest in a good straightener - Chi are the best - and use that. I have thick hair that is a combo of wavy/curly (the annoying sort that just won't be one or the other!) and if I straighten my hair on Monday morning after a shower (blow out straight and then run the straightener over it with some light heat protectant spray), I can get by until usually Friday without having to re-do. I might have to run the straightener over bits of of it quick if I've been somewhere humid and gotten a few waves back, or if I slept on it funny, but overall it stays straight.

 

I agree with the Chi straighter, with Mom doing it for her at this age :) I use the Chi that you can find on Amazon (it's the black/gold one that has over 1500 ratings) I've heard some of the other Chi's are not equal.

 

My hairstylist also taught me how to begin with blow drying mine using a large round metal bristle brush and the blowdryer "cool shot". I clip it up in sections and go from there. So while it does take time, I have little touch up to do with my Chi and it will last until I wash it again. I also have found Paul Mitchell's Super Skinny products to be very helpful in giving it a nice sleek look rather than the obviously attempted "straightened" look ;)

 

I've had thick, curly hair all my life - not the pretty curls, the slightly frizzy, annoying curls! Spending 20-25 minutes straightening it is worth every minute! :D

 

Edited to add: my hairstylist also shared that chemical straightening is expensive, can damage hair, and doesn't last very long.

Edited by *~Tina~*
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I have wavy, messy hair that looks much better straightened. I've looked into most of the available chemical straightening process and concluded that none of them are 'safe' enough to make me feel comfortable using them, at least not while nursing or pregnant. I would definitely not go that route with an 8yo.

 

I do blow my hair out every now and then, but mostly I just walk around with it messy and wavy. After 38 years, I've gotten used to it :001_smile:

 

I agree that a good cut can go a long, long way with wavy hair. It won't make it straight, but it can make it more manageable.

 

ETA: I think I may invest in that Chi straightener when I go back to work next year, though -- that looks much better than the one I have!

Edited by JennyD
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I do blow my hair out every now and then, but mostly I just walk around with it messy and wavy. After 38 years, I've gotten used to it :001_smile:
Me too. lol

 

Thanks everyone! I knew I would find some people here with the same problem. I think I am going to look at those Paul Mitchell products and shower caps so that we don't have to blow dry as often.

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I had my hair straightened several times as a child. It made my hair stick straight at first, but quickly turned frizzy, dry and damaged. It looked awful. Although that was 40 years ago. :glare: Maybe they're better now.

 

I use a flat iron now, and while it takes 20-30 minutes, I only do it every few days.

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I have curly hair, as do most of my kids. I hated my hair growing up and didn't learn to style it until after college. My recomendations:

 

#1 get "Curly Girl" book. It's a $10 book on how to care for and style curly hair (even wavy or loose curls like yours has). The tips in this book changed my life! Sad but true. My hair is much better now and I love it more.

 

 

 

 

This book is the best! I have wavy hair that I used to do my best to make stick straight. Now it's curlier than ever and I love it. I also have two curly top kids and we're always hearing wonderful things from complete strangers about their hair. Embrace the curls!

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My Emily BEGS for me to flat-iron her hair--but I only do that for 'special occasions'.

 

We 'embrace' her waves... or at least we try to! Everyone else has hair that is perfectly straight!

 

Emily's hair does much better long. Currently it is about half-way down her back-- I don't like it much longer.

 

The waves make for GREAT pony tails.

 

She LOVES her hair braided (but I don't get to that very often--her hair is thick!).

 

We shampoo only once per week (very minimal product) and use EXTRA conditioner (Panteen Moisture...). The times we do not use shampoo we use conditioner only.

 

I let her hair air dry-- it is best for the waves. I do not brush until it is completely dry. I use my fingers if I need to style/smooth it while it is still damp.

 

If I blow dry her hair it will be slightly frizzy--straighter yes, but the frizzy part drives us both crazy!

 

Funny how she dreams of straight hair and her sisters dream of wavy or curly hair!!!

 

I would NOT even consider chemical straighteners-- they are much much more harsh than perms (which do a lot of damage themselves!).

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I'm a total curly girl. I'm the one with the long hair here : http://www.analyticalgrammar.com.

 

My hair was weird wavy/curly when I was younger and has gotten curlier as I've aged. I HATED IT!! I tried everything and researched everything. It's so thick that it's hard to blow out. One stylist gave herself a blister once!

 

PLEASE get a copy of "Curly Girl" and go to ULTA and get the DevaCurl products. Embrace the curly. The chemical straighteners are all terribly damaging. Trust me; I've researched them all.

 

I also get my hair cut twice a year by a Deva certified stylist (there's only 1 here in Raleigh) and that, plus the products have made a WORLD of difference.

 

The book talks about wavy hair and kids, too.

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I go through phases....

I've done the Curlygirl method with some success but I don't think I'm quite curly enough to wear it well (does that make sense? I have more of a deep wave than a curl. Think 80s body perm).

A friend of mine uses Deva curl products another Ouidad... both with success.

I think having a hairdresser who can cut curly hair is important if you're going to go natural and wear the curls . BY the way ... look up PLOPPING on youtube!!!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df1mHC4s7nk

 

For me right now, I'm straightening with a flat iron. I've been mulling over a Brazilian blowout but the price is prohibitive. I'm considering a mini Brazilian blowout (my hair is long though. FORTUNATELY my friend is a hd!) Again, you can see one on youtube being done.

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I go through phases....

I've done the Curlygirl method with some success but I don't think I'm quite curly enough to wear it well (does that make sense? I have more of a deep wave than a curl. Think 80s body perm).

A friend of mine uses Deva curl products another Ouidad... both with success.

I think having a hairdresser who can cut curly hair is important if you're going to go natural and wear the curls . BY the way ... look up PLOPPING on youtube!!!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df1mHC4s7nk

 

For me right now, I'm straightening with a flat iron. I've been mulling over a Brazilian blowout but the price is prohibitive. I'm considering a mini Brazilian blowout (my hair is long though. FORTUNATELY my friend is a hd!) Again, you can see one on youtube being done.

Yeah, I have tried the no shampoo thing several times. Sometimes it seems to work at first. I have tried all of the curly girl things and I have to work really hard to get it curly enough to look good, then it is really, really dirty half of the time. I'd rather work that hard to have it straight and clean.

 

I will be watching lots of how to hair videos on youtube now! Cool. I didn't think of that.

Edited by Lovedtodeath
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I have struggled with my hair my whole life because is is wavy. I have always wished I had really curly hair or really straight hair, but not my wavy hair. That being said, finding Ouidad (www.ouidad.com) has completely changed my life. I have found that my hair is much curlier than I ever imagined because I wasn't styling it correctly. After years of straightening my hair, I read Ouidad's book and then I ordered her deep treatment and styling gel. I honestly never straighthen my hair anymore because it looks so good curly and it is so much easier and better for my hair. Ouidad's "rake and shake technique" has completely transformed my hair. Here is a video link http://www.ouidad.com/video/Styling-Curly-Hair-With-Ouidads-Rake-And-Shake-Technique

You might have your daughter try this with the gel she is using and see if it makes any difference. I always try to share my story because I know there is a way to love your curls, it just took finding the right products and styling technique for me. I wish your daughter the best in her hair journey because I definitely know how she feels.

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I had chemical straighteners done as a kid (what was my mom thinking?!?!). Yes, that stuff was nasty. Also, it has to be redone frequently because the roots grown in curly and that is so NOT the Marcia Brady I was going for. I had it done a 2nd time. Not only did it burn my scalp in places, but it broke off. Every time I combed my hair, big chunks just broke off. I had to get it all cut off. I went from past shoulder length hair to only a few inches long all over my head. I cried for hours. After fighting my curly hair for most of my life, I finally learned that it is a fight I cannot win. I simply do not have the time or energy to have perfect hair for like 5 minutes until the humidity rises above 40%. I now judge a stylist based upon how well she understands and can work with curly hair. If she starts recommending a flat iron or the uber-expensive Brazillian Blow Out, I know I need to look elsewhere. A good cut and style can go a long way toward learning to live with the hair you've been given.

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I didn't read all the replies. Growing up I couldn't stand my curly hair. It's frizzy to :ack2:. At one time I was looking into straightening my hair but at the sametime I didn't want to do anything with chemicals (figure once I go gray I'll do all that) .

A year ago I stopped using shampoo and conditioner. I'm amazed with my hair now :D. I actually love having curly, wavy hair. It's even controllable now:).

I use a baking soda wash, vinegar rinse and use Coconut oil after I shower.

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  • 10 years later...
On 1/20/2011 at 12:38 PM, Lovedtodeath said:

But our hair is not uber curly. It is just slightly curly and looks soooo much better straight.

If your hair is only SLIGHTLY curly, just buy a straightening iron.... why go to the extent of damaging ur hair? 

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