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So I just finished off cleaning my 22mo after I found him on the stairs playing with his poop on a cardboard book. I don't know what it is about my boys, but over the years I have dealt with some HORRIBLE poo messes. My husband has a poo-phobia; if it's not in the diaper, he won't go near it.

 

So I need to hear your best mess stories so I don't feel so alone and grumpy :tongue_smilie:

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When DS1 was 2 yo, I left the living room for a minute, and came back to find him with his pants off, and a pile of poo in the middle of the floor.....with a purple plastic FLAG stuck into the top of it !!

:lol::lol: When my ds was about the same age I found a pile behind the recliner. I asked where it came from and he said, "Oh cow came in door and pooped there." Yeah, right!

:D

Then he started showing us piles of poop out in the yard when we were working. He would say, "look what white dog did" and we would grumble because that meant the neighbor's dog was in our yard again. Then we caught him pooping on the sidewalk in front of the house just 3 ft from the street and we realized that 'white dog' had never been guilty!:lol:

 

His best pal was 5 before he would use the toilet for pooping. He had watched, with his single dad, the Mythbusters episode where a toilet exploded in the first or second season. That was all he needed to know :lol:.

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We went through a (thankfully) short phase where my 3yo would take off his diaper if we didn't change him immediately after he pooped. I even posted on the board looking for advice after I found him trying to put "nuggets" down the heating vent in the living room.

 

My 11yodd was one of those babies who only pooped every 7-10 days. It was convenient most of the time, but as the 7 day mark approached I felt like it was too risky to leave the house. She was a skinny little baby, but when she finally let go we'd all start looking around for the ark.

 

No cute stories here, all my poop stories are gross, gross, gross!

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His best pal was 5 before he would use the toilet for pooping. He had watched, with his single dad, the Mythbusters episode where a toilet exploded in the first or second season. That was all he needed to know :lol:.

 

Toilet exploding episode? A toddler? A mom would have much quicker reflexes with the remote than to have ever let him see that.

 

Seriously. Someone needs to do a study on the speed at which men and women think these things through. :tongue_smilie:

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DS #3 was a Poop Picasso.

 

Our ds1 was 6-9 months the first time that happened. I stopped watching him for maybe 5 minutes. Then my husband (who was right next to him) said "What's that smell?" Ds1 had put his hand down his diaper, pulled out the poo, and smeared it almost 360* around him on the carpet, his arms, outfit, and even a little on his face. There was some on the outside of the pacifier, but thankfully none made it into his mouth!

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My almost 2yo daughter (just this afternoon), handed me what looked like a bunch of tootsie rolls globbed together (the children had gotten tootsie rolls for Christmas...so the idea that the thing in her hand was a bunch of them isn't too much of a stretch). I reached out my hand to accept the brown glob...:ack2:

 

She is my 5th child, and the only child thus far to hand me her poop...

 

My grossest story is when my oldest dd was around 2. Apparently, she pooped her pants in the middle of the night, and it was bothering her. She stuck her hands into her diaper and moved the poop...

 

...she got up absurdly early with her older brother, grabbed the bag of chips my dh had left out the night before and was eating them with her still poop-encrusted hand.

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When my oldest was a toddler, I put her down for her nap one day in just her diaper as it was very hot in the house. As I went upstairs to get her from her nap, I began to smell it. I went in her room and poop was smeared all over her, all over the cribs and walls. It was in between her toes and even under her toenails. The worst part of it was that I was in my first trimester with my second daughter and was suffering from terrible morning sickness. I think the smell is imprinted on my brain 8 years later.

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I even posted on the board looking for advice after I found him trying to put "nuggets" down the heating vent in the living room.

 

:lol: :lol::lol:

 

Toilet exploding episode? A toddler? A mom would have much quicker reflexes with the remote than to have ever let him see that.

 

Seriously. Someone needs to do a study on the speed at which men and women think these things through. :tongue_smilie:

:iagree::iagree:

 

When my oldest was a toddler, I put her down for her nap one day in just her diaper as it was very hot in the house. As I went upstairs to get her from her nap, I began to smell it. I went in her room and poop was smeared all over her, all over the cribs and walls. It was in between her toes and even under her toenails. The worst part of it was that I was in my first trimester with my second daughter and was suffering from terrible morning sickness. I think the smell is imprinted on my brain 8 years later.

 

Same thing happened to me, only I was sick, not pregnant. That sure is one penetrating smell!

 

Thank you, everyone, this was just what I needed!

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When my oldest was really little (before crawling stage), I laid her on a diaper changing mat for some diaper free time because she had horrible rashes from using cloth diapers. Then I went to another room where I could hear her. I could see her from there but only if I stood up. I was sitting there trying to sew something. After a bit, I decided to stand up to check on her and found her lying in a pile of liquid exclusively-breastfed baby poop. She had even managed to rotate her body 180 degrees so that her head was lying in the puddle, and had gotten it all over her hands which she then smeared all over herself...body and face. I can't say that none got into her mouth either.

 

None of my babies have ever had diaper free time since.

 

 

 

My current youngest sometimes poops in the bathtub during shared baths with her three year old brother. I can't help but laugh at the sight. He's standing in the teeniest corner of the tub up on tip toes of one leg, trying not to let any of it touch him while crying. She's laughing on trying to stomp on the floating brown things.

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When my dd was a newborn, she made an especially swamp-like poo, some of which somehow got on the back of my hand. In my sleep-deprived state, after I finished changing her, I used the back of my hand to wipe my face. The funny part is that I didn't really even notice until I walked past my dh, who was mildly horrified that his wife had a poop-smeared face. Yeah. Once you've had poop in your mouth, not much grosses you out.

 

Also, the other day, my dd stuck her finger in her ear, pulled out a largish glob of earwax, and said, "Mommy, my ear pooped." :tongue_smilie:

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I've been quite fortunate in the poop department. The only story I have is about my third child when he was one month old. We were getting ready to go to the county fair. I was freshly shower, hair done, and make up applied. Fortunately for me, I was still in my SAHM uniform rather than my one pair of fitting pants for leaving the house. I always change the baby before putting on those clothes.

 

I changed his diaper and was just putting the clean diaper under his bottom when I was shot with runny, newborn, breast fed baby projectile poop all over my clothes.

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My 2 1/2 year old is now "naked trained". He will use the potty, without asking, as long as he's naked. No accidents, no problem right?

 

I walked into my dining room about two weeks ago after cleaning up lunch to find the boys decorating the dining table with toilet paper. I figured they had gotten into the bathroom just to get the TP, so I went to shut the door. As I reached in to pull the door shut, I got the whiff of toddler poo. I turned the light on and found a large load in the plastic frog potty... with a 15-month old sized footprint right in the middle of it. There was also poo smeared on the bathtub, the wall, the floor, and a trail of poop footprints leading out of the bathroom and down the carpeted hallway. I looked closer at my youngest, who was wearing white socks and gray sweatpants, which were now brown halfway up his shins.

 

The very next day, the 2 1/2 year old actually called out to me that he had gone potty... but I was too late before the 15-month-old ran into the room and picked up the (very, very full #1 and #2) potty and turned it upside down on the bathroom floor.

 

I really need to fence them in after lunch.

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My best poo story is about myself (it is still told around family dinners :svengo:). Apparently, while I was supposed to be napping, I took off my poo diaper, smeared the contents all over the wall above my crib and when my dad walked in, there I sat smiling. He says I pointed to the 'painting' and said, "Pretty colors". Guess who had been fed blueberries and grapes for breakfast?

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When I was almost 9 months pregnant with 2nd ds, I put ds (then 2) in his room for quiet time. My sister had just arrived a few days before to help out when the baby came, and I went down for a nap and asked her to keep an ear/eye out for anything. I guess she started smelling something, and checked on ds - the room was darkened and at first she didn't see the extent of the damage. I heard them and came out to find poop all over the room - rubbed in the carpet, on the Thomas trains and other toys, on the window, and even a little spot way up on the wall (he must have thrown it). It was the worst mess I'd ever seen. So I cleaned ds up in the tub and sent him with my sister and dd to the park while I attempted to clean up - which on a hot summer day when you're 9 months pregnant was not too fun. :tongue_smilie: I was SO thankful my sister was there - I think I would have gone round the bend otherwise!

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These are great! Thank you every one.

 

When my ds1 was around 4 months(?) he had a very bad rash, so I decided to let him have some diaper free time. I had just changed him, so it would be okay, right? I was holding him in a standing up position (he couldn't stand on his own yet) while I was sitting cross legged on the floor. I heard a sound, and was able to catch the green, mushy poo in my hand before it landed on the carpet. As I sat there trying to figure out how I would stand up and clean up without letting him sit down with poop on his butt.... he peed on me.

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I have all boys, and my DH has taught them the joys of peeing outside. :tongue_smilie:

 

Usually it is only for camping trips, or while playing outside in the summer. But of course they love it. And the littlest boy always has a hard time appreciating the appropriateness of when to engage in such fun...

 

For example, one of our boys, when he was about three, was playing outside on the lawn of our church building after services, along with many other children. I heard a girl screaming and looked over to see my son bare bottomed, trousers around his ankles, having a go and obviously trying to see how far he could make the stream fly. :lol: That was always my funny story. Until my next child...

 

We were at a park day, and my two year old newly potty trained son was playing with the other children on the playground and nearby path. He was in big boy underwear but still needed help wiping and pulling up his pants. He also thought that peeing outside like his brothers was hysterical. So, at the park, rather than come telling me he needed to go, he took off one shoe, dropped his pants and pulled off one leg, and squatted on the ground and pooped. Right in the middle of the path and in front of whoever, who cares. I didn't realize until I heard him shouting, "Mama! Wipe my bottom!!!" That was lovely. It didn't help that a dad was sitting at a nearby picnic table laughing so hard he was choking and turning red.

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Oh, I've needed a thread like this today!!

 

For us is was dd(now)4. When she was around 16 months, she had a couple episodes of poop-painting. One was on the Sunday I took dd(then)4 to see the Nutcracker after church. It was a huge deal for us - mother/daughter date, first time for both of us to a ballet, having studied the story and the ballet for a month beforehand. We drove home on clouds to arrive at an apartment filled with so much tension! Dd1 hid behind me, trying not to be noticed as dh filled me in with terse sentences. She'd only gotten one patch of about 1 foot square on the wall. But the carpet was full of the little rolled balls, and her crib - it was one of the old ones with the highly detailed turned side rails - was a total mess! It was, I believe, the last time we let her wear a sleeper with the zipper on the front. Poor dh! He doesn't normally handle the smelly stuff, but he'd bravely been trying to clean up the mess - he'd even washed the encrusted stuff out of her hair. (I had to put her back in the tub again because she still stank, but I appreciated the effort! :))

 

Then, a few months later, for a period of about six weeks it seemed that every Thursday night she would poop in the bathtub while taking a bath with her older sister. It got to where dd(then4) would call me calmly, already climbing out to help with the clean up. And she's not calm by nature.

 

Isn't it amazing how toddlers can train us?

 

Mama Anna

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These are hysterical! :lol:

 

When my oldest DD was about 4 months old, DH and I took her to the mall. We were standing outside a store while I was holding DD in my arms, face out with her back toward me. Well, she decided right then to have one of those huge breast-fed baby "up the back" poops. It went through her clothes and was all over the front of my white T-shirt. DH bought me another shirt while I stood there holding her in front of me. After I'd changed and cleaned up DD and me (not the easiest feat in the world for a new mom, btw) I came back out and DH had bought me a new book as a present: "Everybody Poops." :lol:

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When DD#1 was a newborn, like 2 or 3 days old, we had to go back to the hospital to have her bilirubin levels checked. We were brand spanking new parents...never done this whole baby thing before. The nurse directed us into a little room that had a few chairs, a changing table, and an exam table. DD began to smell a little icky, so DH took her over to the changing table to change her diaper. He laid her down and opened the diaper. He was reaching over for the wipes when we hear a loud noise and a line of poop SHOT like five feet across the floor! It was on the floor, it managed to nick my husbands shorts, it was dripping down the changing table. I was just sitting in the chairs laughing so hard that I was crying!

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Guest Cheryl in SoCal

I'll play:D When my dd was around 18 months old we were in McDonald's (it was in the hospital where she had to get regular ophthalmology exams and getting french fries was her treat for the exam). I'd wiped down the high chair and she was enjoying her french fries when we hear this noise...the noise that sends shivers of fear through a parent...and see liquid poo running down the front of the high chair:eek: I grabbed her out of the seat and tried to get her to the restroom without dripping all over the floor, and then wash her up in the sink without letting her touch anything (public restroom:ack2:). I think I ended up cutting or ripping the onesie off of her because there was no way to get it off without smearing poo all over her body and head. That was the last time I used a public high chair because I realized that you just never know what has happened to them;)

 

I think that McDonald's must be cursed because when the same dd was 4 we had more trouble. DD #2 had been recently adopted and we met our Social Worker there for a visit after a doctor appointment because the hospital was closer than our house for the SW. When the SW came she brought an intern with her. I'm sitting there holding DD #2 (6 months old) and chatting with the SW when I hear this noise like running water. Well, it wasn't running water but DD #1 vomiting all over the floor:eek: I tossed my DD #2 (well, handed quickly) to my oldest ds (12) and shot into action. The SW grabbed some napkins while the intern ran....very far away:lol: I must have done okay under pressure because we were allowed to finalize my DD #2's adoption and adopt again:001_smile:

 

ETA that the next time we were in that McDonald's (my dd had a LOT of Ophthalmology appointments) my DD #2 says to me, "Mommy, I won't spill my drink this time." I ask her what she means since she's never spilled a drink and she answers me, completely straight faced, "You know, when I spilled my drink and my french fries were floating in it." Then I realize she is talking about when she vomited and her chewed french fries were floating in her vomit:lol:

Edited by Cheryl in SoCal
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