How does one go about finding a good religious fit?

[melissel]

I'm still doing some soul searching on this one. I'm leaning toward Unitarian Universalist (Oh, Sister Flaming Sword of Moderation, I'd love if you would weigh in here :D), because I know that one would give me the most freedom, but I'm just wondering what some other liberal Christian options might be. Here's some background (I just posted in a different thread, in case it sounds familiar):

 

My DH was raised Catholic and would like to raise the girls in some Christian faith, but is confused about his own beliefs. He's loyal to his Catholic upbringing, but also disagrees with much of what sets Catholics apart from other, more mainstream Christians (I think--I'm not well versed in this area, so I'm sorry if I'm making assumptions I'm not qualified to make!). He's also not motivated enough to do anything about it.

 

I, on the other hand, am spiritual, but I don't know if I'm a Christian anymore, or what I am. I think I still am, but maybe I'm a religious introvert? I don't want to testify or be testified to, or do worship teams, or Bible groups, or VBS. I think I want my religion to be the quiet, stable foundation of our existence. DH and I are both politically liberal (though I am more so than he is).

 

Does this make any sense? Does such a group exist in the Christian spectrum? Or does it really depend on the church itself?

 

TIA for any input you can offer. I don't know anything about any other religion or branch of Christianity other than Catholicism, because my mom is Catholic and my dad is an atheist. And I hope I didn't step on any toes with this question. I simply don't know where else I'd go to reach such an knowledgeable and thoughtful group of people.

 

Thank you!

[beansprouts]

Melissa - have you read the Bible? I would recommend starting there. Let God speak to you directly, rather than letting man tell you his interpretation of what God says.

 

:grouphug:

[LizzyBee]

You might visit a United Methodist church in your area. My younger sister was Lutheran and her husband Catholic, and for years they attended church only sporadically. Once they had children, they wanted to attend church as a family, and they have been very happy in the UM church.

 

Beansprouts and I were posting at the same time, but I am editing to say that I agree with what she said. :-)

[Alenee]

I'll be one of those annoying people who just says, :iagree: with what Beansprouts says.

[Joanne]

If you want something more "open" but also more specifically Christian than UU, you might try Presbyterian (USA) or Methodist.

[Sue G in PA]

Correct me if I am wrong, but I didn't think Unitarian Universalist was Christian at all. Dh and I, before we were saved, looked at the UU church (our thinking was along the same lines as yours, btw). We were indeed "seeking" something but didn't know what or whom! I can totally relate to your post...it sounds like dh and I. He was raised Catholic and didn't agree with some of the teachings. I was raised Lutheran and didn't really know what I believed...except I didn't want to be Catholic!

 

I can't tell you which "denomination" would be the best fit but we attended a Calvary Chapel (they have churches all over the US and are sort of non-denominational or better yet a denomination all to themselves, KWIM?). We found it "dry" compared to our old church (Pentecostal/Charismatic) but it sounds like it could be a good "fit" for you. Just a thought...but I do agree w/ Beansprouts in that reading the Bible would be the best place to start. God will speak to you through your reading and if you are seeking...and it sounds like you are (cause I've btdt!)...you will certainly find what you are seeking there! HTH...I know where you are!

[abdesigns]

Have you looked into the Episcopal Church? I only ask this because you say that you have a Catholic background, well, it's kind of "Catholic Lite", or so they say. There are many different types of Episcopal churches, some are more catholic than your average catholic churches, and others are extremely liberal. Either way you look at it, they are usually very welcoming, with a focus in helping people. The Episcopal parish that I'm a member of is "smells and bells" in it's worship, and very liberal in it's social leanings. There are also a lot of Universalists in our church, and they are very welcome, everyone puts their differences aside at the communion rail.

 

I know there is a lot of upheaval in the church of late, but most Episcopal churches are small, and very family centered, some even disfunctional, but in a very nice sort of way, if that makes sense.

 

Good luck, and yes, pray about it and read your bible, you'll find your home!!!

 

Abby (Piskie, Sonlight, Soccer mom to Noah, Jacob and Ian)

[asher]

I'll be one of those annoying people who just says, :iagree: with what Beansprouts says.

 

:iagree:

[percytruffle]

I agree that the Episicopal church sounds like a good fit. If you research them and are not comfortable with their doctrinal direction and recent controversy, but like the reflective, liturgical worship style, look for an Anglican church instead. Some Episcopal churches are breaking from the Episcopal Church USA and joining the Anglican Communion over recent events.

 

I was an Episcopalian all my life (except when I was an infant I was baptised Catholic) until about five years ago. If your dh grew up with the traditions and liturgy of the RC church he may be very comforted by the Episcopal service. I am an introvert and have the same issues as you with many evangelical church services, but I was comfortable in the Episcopal tradition. I still miss it at times, but we are happy where we are now.

[chiguirre]

I'm an atheist but we're raising the kids Catholic. To be entirely honest, dh isn't very religious but it's a big deal to him that the kids go through their First Communion. On the plus side, no one ever asks you what you believe, ever. No one witnesses to you, no one testifies. The liturgy is the same and you know what to expect. It's very rare that our priests ever mention anything controversial. I can only remember one time and it was just a reference to Ronald Reagan as a great president (in 2006). Personally, I wouldn't choose to go to Mass if I didn't have to take the kids, but its not uncomfortable. If you are looking for community without having to necessarily agree with the official position of the institution, Catholicism is doable. To join a parish, you just put your name on the parish roll, you don't have to show any proof of baptism or confirmation.

[Greta]

I'm Buddhist, but I'm blessed with several liberal Christian friends. They are Episcopalian, Presbyterian, and United Church of Christ. Years and years ago I toyed for awhile with the idea of becoming Christian. I found that the Religious Society of Friends would have been the best fit for me (they're very liberal!). Ultimately it didn't work out, but you might have better luck! :) I still enjoy reading RSOF books and websites from time to time. They are very peaceful, compassionate, and environmentally conscious.

 

Editing to add, I'm also blessed with several conservative Christian friends! Didn't mean to sound like only the liberal ones were a blessing. There's just certain topics with my conservative friends that we tend to avoid. ;-)

[kokotg]

Sounds like the United Church of Christ might be a good fit for you (there's a joke that UCC stands for Unitarians Considering Christ). I'm UCC...it has its roots in Puritanism (the UCC was formed in the 50's by a merger of Congregationalists and the Evangelical and Reformed Church). Being Congregationalists, there is no real governing body; each congregation makes its own decisions. But in general, the UCC is ecumenical, interested in social justice issues, and, at least IME, tends to be made up of politically progressive folks. Some congregations are "open and affirming," i.e. they are fully accepting of gays and lesbians as members and clergy; others are not--again, it's a decision made at the congregational level. Theologically, it's a mainline Protestant denomination; it follows the liturgical calendar and the hymns, prayers, order of worship, etc. are similar to what you might find in a Methodist church (or probably Lutheran or Presbyterian, but I haven't been to a service for either of those, so I can't say for sure). Anyway, maybe check out the website: http://www.ucc.org

[6packofun]

Yes, I agree. UU is just a denomination; your search should start with what God Himself says because He transcends all of that pesky human variation. :o) The "package" you choose is important in light of His word.

[Kay in Cal]

and I happen to be a United Methodist minister. I find that a lot of our visitors and new members are couples where one grew up Catholic and the other grew up either mainstream Protestant, Jewish, or areligious. Some of my best church leaders were once self-described agnostics. I describe myself politically as "very liberal", but the congregation that I serve consists of persons from across the political spectrum--though probably more liberal than not (however, we are in Los Angeles, you know).

 

Methodist basics: The Trinity (God, Christ, Spirit); four sources of authority (scripture, experience, tradition and reason combine to teach us about God and the world--as opposed to "sola scriptura" denominations); tolerance; social justice.

 

In practice, the UM church tends to be more liberal in the west and urban areas, more conservative in the south and and rural areas. Individual churches have individual personalities. IE, we reflect the population of the US quite nicely. If you are curious or have any questions, feel free to pm or email me.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Correct me if I am wrong, but I didn't think Unitarian Universalist was Christian at all.

 

The "universalist" part of UU refers to Christ's sacrifice for mankind being universal. So in that regard, they have a partly Christian origin. And Christians do worship under the UU umbrella, though there are a good many folks who would not consider some of them "real" Christians. (This in reply to Sue, and now I'll address the original question. I'm really sorry about the lack of quoting. I'm just sooo lazy tired and don't want to go back and start over!

 

You just have to go visit your local UU congregation, talk to the pastor, talk to the members, attend "new people" classes a time or two. There are so many differences between congregations and you'd have to find out if you'd be comfortable. They are a very welcoming bunch, though, in general, so it doesn't hurt to look.

 

I would suggest Presbyterian USA, particularly if you can find a progressive congregation, and you should check your local United Methodists. (The UM church we've been attending is an amazing evangelical and rather tending-toward-fundamentalist place, and a church we would have embraced with shouts of joy ten years ago. But it's not right for us now, sadly. I really like the people and the preaching.) Episcopal might be a good fit. (And I know by just glancing at the other answers on the thread that these have been mentioned already. I'm just an echo.)

 

Hope you find what you're looking for. I know that for me, clarifying my beliefs was worth the trouble. Priceless, really.

[Jenny in Florida]

Melissa - have you read the Bible? I would recommend starting there. Let God speak to you directly, rather than letting man tell you his interpretation of what God says.

 

. . . I'll just say that for someone leaning toward Unitarian-Universalism, starting with the Bible might not be what speaks to her.

 

Other than that, I'll agree with Pam. UU congregations vary hugely in just how Christian (or not) they are. I've belonged to three congregations in three different states and attended services at several others, and the differences are pretty much incomprehensible to folks who come from more traditional denominations.

 

Frankly, from the way you describe things, I'm not at all sure the UUs are going to work for your husband.

 

But, yes, absolutely, go visit the local UU congregation and see what you think. One thing I would strongly suggest, though, is to go several times before you form any opinon. UU services tend to be as eclectic as their members, particularly if the one you visit has a strong lay leadership component. (The first UU fellowship I attended could only afford a half-time minister. So, two services each month were lay-led. I attended that church for four years, and I'm not sure any two of those services were the same.) It'll likely take you several visits to get a sense of what that specific congregation is really like.

 

I know someone else mentioned UCC (Congregational), and that might be worth checking out, too. More distinctly Christian than many UU groups, but still intentionally welcoming and fairly liberal and tolerant in terms of diversity of belief. In fact, we have a lovely UCC church not too much farther from our home than our UU church. They have a fabulous music program (which isn't true of any UU church I've been to) and a full slate of organized activities for all ages. On the days when I'm feeling just about fed up with the UUs in general and/or our congregation in specific, I fantasize that I just might be able to squeak by with the Congregationalists . . .

[6packofun]

. . . I'll just say that for someone leaning toward Unitarian-Universalism, starting with the Bible might not be what speaks to her.

 

Other than that, I'll agree with Pam. UU congregations vary hugely in just how Christian (or not) they are. I've belonged to three congregations in three different states and attended services at several others, and the differences are pretty much incomprehensible to folks who come from more traditional denominations..

 

I've never heard it explained that way before...so would UU not consider Christianity itself as an important part of why it gathers together? If not, why do they "congregate"? Sorry to sound ignorant, I don't think I know anyone who attends a UU...church(?) I just assumed it was another brand of Christian church. lol :tongue_smilie:

[Kim in Appalachia]

I'm not Catholic, but I think you might "like it" if you tried it. It is very stable, there is no political slant, you don't have to agree with everything that is taught (ok, that may sound strange, but I mean that you are not going to get "preached" at if you disagree)

 

I was raised Catholic, and while I personally don't follow that church anymore (I'm Presbyterian) I think it was a good upbringing. The Tradition is beautiful, there is a richness and comfort to the ceremony.

 

If you want it, there are a lot of ways to get involved in your communty with it (RC church has a wide variety of charitable programs that you can get involved in).

 

HTH

[mysterious_jedi]

I agree with Beansprouts also. Start with one of the Gospels, then the letters, and Proverbs, and go from there. :)

[Jenny in Florida]

I've never heard it explained that way before...so would UU not consider Christianity itself as an important part of why it gathers together? If not, why do they "congregate"? Sorry to sound ignorant, I don't think I know anyone who attends a UU...church(?) I just assumed it was another brand of Christian church. lol :tongue_smilie:

 

. . . they have wandered farther afield over the years.

 

I'm not sure I can begin to answer your question in the time and space available, but here's a brief description from the Unitarian Universalist Association's website (www.uua.org):

 

Unitarian Universalism is a liberal religion with Jewish-Christian roots. It has no creed. It affirms the worth of human beings, advocates freedom of belief and the search for advancing truth, and tries to provide a warm, open, supportive community for people who believe that ethical living is the supreme witness of religion.

 

 

The one thing that all congregations agree upon is our statement of principles:

 

There are seven principles which Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote:

 

 

• The inherent worth and dignity of every person;

• Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;

• Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;

• A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;

• The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;

• The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;

• Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

Unitarian Universalism (UU) draws from many sources:

 

• Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life;

• Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love;

• Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life;

• Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;

• Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit.

• Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

These principles and sources of faith are the backbone of our religious community.

 

Hope that helps!

[beansprouts]

I agree with Beansprouts also. Start with one of the Gospels, then the letters, and Proverbs, and go from there. :)

 

 

Thank you for the clarification. After thinking it over, I wished I had suggested starting with the Gospel of John.

[Vida Winter]

but I personally found it to be "not enough." I needed a savior, I *needed* Jesus. Truly. I found my place in the Episcopal church. It is liturgical. It is not preachy. I love it. Please consider it as it is a very liberal branch of Christianity, and I have found such love and fulfillment in it.

[Jenny in Atl]

Even thought I'm lapsed at the present, if I did go back, it would be to the Episcopal Church.

[Soph the vet]

Why not search for Truth and let it shape you, rather than looking for something you can shape to your own specification?

 

I totally agree with Joanna. There is Truth. If you are searching then doesn't it make sense to figure out what is True and follow that way rather than just buy into a falsehood that feels good?

[6packofun]

Thank you for answering! That gives me a good start...I checked wikipedia, but it makes sense to check the UUA site, too. Thanks! Always trying to learn more... :)

[Guest Shanna]

There is Truth in Christ. I agree with beansprouts. I would recommend reading the book of Romans.

[KarenNC]

In my experience, the most liberal Christian denominations are going to be UCC, Episcopal and American Baptist (the "American" part of the designation is important---very, very different from Southern Baptist).

http://www.abc-usa.org/. You might also want to investigate the Quakers.

 

We actually went and talked with the American Baptist minister when our daughter was born and we went through a questioning phase of "should we try to force ourselves to "pass" in order to give her a more conventional upbringing due to family and social issues?" That church was the one we thought we *might* be able to fit into, if any. We finally came to the realization that, no, that was not an honorable option for us, as we truly weren't even monotheist, much less Christian.

 

The Episcopal and AB churches are going to vary by congregation in how high church they are, if that experience is important to you. I've not been to a UCC service, but I have talked to some folks of that denomination.

 

As a UU (but one who has only been part of two congregations, both here in the South), I agree that your husband may not be comfortable there, especially if he is really wanting the kids brought up as Christians. I have heard that there are UU congregations who are more Christian in focus but that has not been our experience. Now it is possible that our congregations are skewed in favor of non-Christian because our area is so incredibly saturated with very in-your-face Christianity (including in government and schools) and other areas may not have quite the same issues. Be aware that a lot of folks in our congregation, at least, describe themselves as "recovering Catholics" so he may not find that comfortable, either.

 

The kids will likely get some exposure to the Christian stories, but also to the Buddhist, Neopagan, atheist, Jewish, humanist, etc. What they will pretty definitely not hear is teaching that Christianity is the true religion, that there is only one God and that Jesus is divine.

 

When my daughter (who has grown up in a UU church, attending most weeks) was 5 or early 6, we were walking with some friends and passed the Episcopal church where my husband and I were married. She told her friend that was where we married and one of the friend's children (who was a bit older) asked if we still went there. I said no, we didn't. Child asked why, I responded that we realized we really weren't Christian. At this point my daughter got very angry and stomped her foot--

"Yes, we are!"

"No, honey, we aren't."

"We are, too. Daddy believes in Buddha!"

At that point we go back to the drawing board for a bit more explanation of the differences between some of the major religions ;).

[KarenNC]

Why not search for Truth and let it shape you, rather than looking for something you can shape to your own specification?

 

I have found that in the UU church I have been more shaped than doing the shaping. UU's encourage everyone to actively pursue their own spiritual path, to actively search for truth (though the definition of what that is ultimately may not match yours ;)). I was able to be open to the truth of my experiences with spiritual reality rather than feeling that I had to (and could only ever) match up to the box that the organization of a particular church already had in place.

 

Now if they only had the really good music and liturgy I miss from the Episcopal Church.........

[Greta]

I responded that we realized we really weren't Christian. At this point my daughter got very angry and stomped her foot--

"Yes, we are!"

"No, honey, we aren't."

"We are, too. Daddy believes in Buddha!"

At that point we go back to the drawing board for a bit more explanation of the differences between some of the major religions ;).

 

That's too cute! It reminded me of some of the confusion my own poor dd has been subjected to. I have raised her Buddhist, but as Buddhists we have the flexibility to celebrate holidays of any and all religions that we want to. So living in a Christian culture, I was not about to deprive her of Christmas. Her grandparents, however, are Jehovah's Witnesses and don't celebrate any holidays. One day she exclaimed excitedly that some neighbors of ours had Christmas decorations on their house. "I didn't know they were Buddhists too!" she said. I explained that they are Christians and she said "But Christians don't celebrate Christmas, only Buddhists do."

[Phred]

I have to be clear about something. I'm an atheist. I do not believe in a god or God. I do not believe in Jesus or Mohammed as deities. If they lived they were just men like you and I. Ok... disclaimer over.

 

I can only offer to you what I told my wife. She was searching spiritually. We went to a few churches. But I think what we were searching for wasn't so much a god as a group of people who agreed upon the same things. So if it's important to you that you don't eat meat on Fridays and wear hats on Wednesdays then you can try to find a church where everyone does the same. In this the Jewish faith is very practical.

 

I do feel that by picking up a Bible you're making a choice to join a Christian sect of one flavor or another. Although the Bible really won't tell you much about which church to join. That is sort of a trial and error thing. You really have to go and try them out. One church we went to... we went to several weeks of services and not once did anyone greet us, say hello... heck, even smile at us as we entered. Big church, had daycare and all the amenities. Everything but people we wanted to be around. Another church we went to met in a school gym. But the people were so darned friendly. Knew us by name the second time we came. (didn't mean to rhyme) We went there for the better part of three years. Yes, the atheist found a home. Not because of what they believed but because of how they believed it. The spirit of God wasn't in that house (my opinion) but the spirit of the people came together there... mostly.

 

You also might wish to kick the tires on Buddhism. I wouldn't suggest Islam... it's just too alien. Not that there aren't good things about it too... just a lot of work if you want to go there. And, of course, you could look into the pagan religions... I don't know much about them. Trees are nice. Thor is cute I guess. The Japanese seem to like Shinto and such.

 

Best of luck!

[Laura K (NC)]

ISTM you need to figure out for yourself what you believe, and you need then to figure out if it is God you wish to pray to, then you need to accept or deny that Jesus is the savior. I don't think you need to join any group to figure out these things.

 

You first need to decide why it is you need a congregation. Is it because you want a group of like-minded people who already support the level of confusion you feel about religious matters, or because you want a group of like-minded people to support you in the religious ideal that you hope to acquire? You really need to figure this out first before joining a church, although I think it might be helpful, as you study on your own (as you've already been advised in this thread), to visit many different churches, to listen to pastors on the radio explain the Word of God, and to talk to as many Christians about specific doctrine as you can before joining.

 

I have a hard time with people joining a church because of what they themselves will get out of it. First off, church is for worship... for what we give to God. Giving requires some kind of substance from which we draw in ourselves. Becoming a Christian requires basic discernment that must be done privately so that the voice you are speaking with is your own, and comes from your own heart, and not someone else's. First discern what it is you believe. If you wish to be Christian, try praying to Jesus. Try asking the Holy Spirit for help. Learn Who those Persons are on your own, first. That work must always be done, whether you join a church or not. If you don't do it, no church will ever be able to help you find peace or salvation.

 

(PS, I'm Catholic. I wouldn't get hung up on doctrine in the Catholic Church if I were you. If you are interested in really pursuing Catholic Christianity, don't rely on hearsay or the confused Catholicism of a non-practicing Catholic. Read the Bible, then read the catechism or talk to a priest.)

[Lisawa]

Melissa - have you read the Bible? I would recommend starting there. Let God speak to you directly, rather than letting man tell you his interpretation of what God says.

 

:grouphug:

 

 

:iagree:;) This is a great place to start....

[beansprouts]

I guess the ultimate question is: is there an absolute Truth, or does it all come down to personal preferences, to "what works for me"?

 

If the Truth is out there, it is worth pursuing.

[Lisawa]

I think its great you are searching! I agree w/ beansprout... I think that’s who posted about reading your bible.

 

Do you doubt if God is real? Do you know He is real? You mentioned that you were a Christian or you think you are, that is why I ask. *Ü* You can start w/ what you know. Has prayer ever been a part of your spirituality??

 

If it is, and or you have I encourage you to pray and read your bible. Ask specific questions as you pray and seek them out. Don’t just go to one church or denomination.... they will all give you a different perspective.... that’s why there are so many.... but my encouragement is to read, pray and seek.

 

If you do decide to go to church, or churches I would seek out the leader ship wherever you go.

 

Someone mentioned Calvary Chapel.... its a start....

 

I pray you find your answers! It’s a little exciting......:grouphug:

 

I'm still doing some soul searching on this one. I'm leaning toward Unitarian Universalist (Oh, Sister Flaming Sword of Moderation, I'd love if you would weigh in here :D), because I know that one would give me the most freedom, but I'm just wondering what some other liberal Christian options might be. Here's some background (I just posted in a different thread, in case it sounds familiar):

 

My DH was raised Catholic and would like to raise the girls in some Christian faith, but is confused about his own beliefs. He's loyal to his Catholic upbringing, but also disagrees with much of what sets Catholics apart from other, more mainstream Christians (I think--I'm not well versed in this area, so I'm sorry if I'm making assumptions I'm not qualified to make!). He's also not motivated enough to do anything about it.

 

I, on the other hand, am spiritual, but I don't know if I'm a Christian anymore, or what I am. I think I still am, but maybe I'm a religious introvert? I don't want to testify or be testified to, or do worship teams, or Bible groups, or VBS. I think I want my religion to be the quiet, stable foundation of our existence. DH and I are both politically liberal (though I am more so than he is).

 

Does this make any sense? Does such a group exist in the Christian spectrum? Or does it really depend on the church itself?

 

TIA for any input you can offer. I don't know anything about any other religion or branch of Christianity other than Catholicism, because my mom is Catholic and my dad is an atheist. And I hope I didn't step on any toes with this question. I simply don't know where else I'd go to reach such an knowledgeable and thoughtful group of people.

 

Thank you!

[Greta]

You also might wish to kick the tires on Buddhism.

 

Should you decide to do that, I might be able to point you to some resources or help you find a Sangha in your area.

[Joanne]

I have a hard time with people joining a church because of what they themselves will get out of it. First off, church is for worship... for what we give to God. Giving requires some kind of substance from which we draw in ourselves.

 

Clearly that's true for you, your theology, your doctrine.

 

But I speak from experience that it's not true for many people seeking spirituality. Indeed, I've had a mentoring/sponsorship relationship with many women who avoided church for that reason.

 

People seek communities of faith and like mindedness for many (valid) reasons.

[Laura K (NC)]

If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, that is, a private prayer life, you can go to church until the cows come home. Church itself won't get you to heaven. Remember that quote, "going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car."

 

If you're mentoring Christians, or people who feel some kind of calling to be a Christian, I do hope you're encouraging them to be saved, and not just be satisfied with a social event!

[sarahli]

I agree that the UU is not Christian, it is open to all beliefs (although if you decide you are not Christian anymore it sounds like it might be a good match).

 

It sounds like what you might be looking for is the Episcopal church. It is liberal socially, yet has what I believe to be a good liturgy and solid theology, it is more similar to the Catholic church than other denominations but they allow women to preach and the "Fathers" can be married. They are also known for a lot of outreach.

[Joanne]

If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, that is, a private prayer life, you can go to church until the cows come home. Church itself won't get you to heaven. Remember that quote, "going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car."

 

If you're mentoring Christians, or people who feel some kind of calling to be a Christian, I do hope you're encouraging them to be saved, and not just be satisfied with a social event!

 

The indirect reference of my mentoring is sponsoring women from the depths of addiction and alcoholism.

 

No, I don't evangelize Jesus to them. Many were indeed hurt and damaged by the conservative church culture.

 

My response wasn't over "being saved" or not. It was that asserting "church is to worship the Lord" is not an absolute; people seek communities of faith/common values for a variety of reasons.

[kokotg]

I'm not the OP, so I can only speak for myself...but I was in a similar place a few years ago--thinking I was probably still a Christian but not really sure. And I can tell you that my problem was not that I hadn't read the Bible enough or prayed enough; it was that the kind of Christianity I saw practiced in the churches where I grew up seemed so antithetical to what I was getting from reading the Bible and praying. So for me, learning that there was another way than what I grew up with, that there were other Christians out there who felt like I did, was absolutely essential to my faith. And I also believe that to seek God is to find Him--when I was looking for answers, I found them in the Bible, but also in a million unexpected places: a book someone suggested I read for completely non-spiritual reasons, a play I happened to go see, thoughts that came to me late at night, and, yes, on at least one occasion, something someone posted on an internet message board.

[Melora in NC]

Another vote here for the Episcopal church as a likely good fit for you and your family! My dh was raised Catholic, and he was very comfortable with the Episcopal church when we started attending together after we got married.

The church we were members of in Florida was somewhat conservative, but our church in North Carolina is Very liberal! (In fact, I have realized that I am more conservative, theologically, than I previously suspected. Our priest often sounds a little "New Age-y" to me.) There is great emphasis on inclusiveness, mission work, and social justice issues. The liturgy is beautiful, and I love the hymns. There is a Lot of leeway in terms of what you can believe and not have a conflict with church doctrine.

[melissel]

Wow, you are all so amazing. Thank you so much. You've given me so much to think about, I can't even respond to all the posts that I want to. Plus, I've been checking in, but don't have much time for posting now that we're sans childcare :001_unsure: Thank you all, and I'll come back to this when I'm able. In the meantime, I'm thinking hard about everything you all said--clarifying my beliefs, starting with the Bible, my relationship with God and whether I consider Jesus our savior, the UCC, Quakerism (funny that when I do the survey on Beliefnet, the Friends are my closest match!), UU vs. Catholicism and my DH, and so much more.

 

THANK YOU!