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I don't like watching other people's kids.


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Some of my kids' friends come to visit and the boys all go to the playroom and stay there and play for the entire visit. Great. But some of my boys' friends come to visit and they keep BUGGING me. "Can I have a drink? I don't like water. What's that stuff in the pitcher? Can I have some of that? Almost gone? Well, can I have the rest of it? Can you make some more?"

 

Or, "I can't find that toy that I played with last time. But I can't find it. Will you help me look for it? I did try to look already, but I couldn't find it. Will you come help me look for it? Please? Just help me look..."

 

 

I mean, the idea of homeschooled kids being able to interact with adults and children of all ages sounds great. Until they come to my house and interact with me Too Much. I sort of just want them to come to my house and ignore me and play with someone their own age and let me relax for a few minutes.

 

:tongue_smilie:

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:iagree:I don't like babysitting either. I dread phone calls from certain people because I know what's coming after all the small talk. I make exceptions for playdates as they directly benefit my kiddo but when I have to take on the other siblings as well I keep length of the playdates right at two hours for my sanity!

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I completely relate. I generally just don't like other people's kids. I mean, I like the kids of my friends, mostly (I have one friend with an adult child I don't like at all; I think this child treats the family very disrespectfully and rudely and I want to smack said adult child). I have found most kids are not very well-behaved, are spoiled, whiny and needy.

 

When I was a kid, way back in the dark ages of the 70's, we got a drink from the hose. If we went inside to ask for a drink, we got water. We mostly were expected to fend for ourselves in the area of toys and what to games to play. Parents were only bothered in emergencies or if unsolvable disputes broke out, or if a younger sibling went out of control or something.

 

There. That's my rant about "these kids today." It's not directed at any specific person's children and yes, I certainly realize Not Every Kid Acts That Way. :tongue_smilie:

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I'm not a great kid person, either. I like some of them, like I like some adults, but I'm not a "kid person." Since most of my children have disabilities and I took them in "on purpose" as foster children, a lot of people seem to think that I must really like watching challenging children with disabilities. No one ever takes mine, because I have too many, so I feel like I never get a break. But others are like, "Hey, I just have my daughter, with Down's syndrome, and I'm sooooo overwhelmed. What's one more at your house?" I don't even want to make friends anymore -- adults are so presumptuous and I feel so dumped on and exhausted!... Rant over. :tongue_smilie:

 

Sandy

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what a marvelous thread! Me either! and when I have an adult with kids over, and the kids are friends with my kids....go play, I do not want to socialize with your child. Make them be a kid and go play.............pulease!!

 

 

and for the record, all the kids in our neighborhood drink out of our hose, and think it is so way cool! lol

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I'll drink to not wanting to watch other people's kids! :cheers2:

 

I don't like the extra noise when they are crazy.

 

I don't like it if they are annoying and drive us crazy.

 

I don't like hearing comments about the house being messy or the stove top looks dirty or about how it's boring here.

 

I don't like kids being offered something to eat then going back to my fridge or freezer and getting another one or more without asking.

 

I don't like special requests for snacks. I don't like them asking if I'll take them home so they can grab candy or something sweet for a snack because all I'm offering is fruit, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, etc.

 

I don't like the kid going into my fridge and sucking down all the chocolate milk (almost the whole half gallone) because they never have that kind of thing at home.

 

I don't like it when the kid comes over to "play with the boys" but ends up on our computer and you can't get him off because he's not allowed on his at home.

 

There are some kids that are good-rare, but a few. My daughter has friends that are old enough to get their own food, aren't crazy, are polite, are fun and so on. So I shouldn't dis all kids.

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Once, when ds was in high school and had some guys over, one of them came into the living room and noticed EX was drinking (something. I can't remember what) from a single serve bottle. Kid asked if we had any more of that drink and EX told him we didn't; he'd gotten that bottle while he was out earlier. So, kid says, "Well, then can I have some from your bottle?" This kid had to be 16-17 years old. Unbelievable!

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GUHHH! Yes, ITA with all of this. I'm trying to recovery mentally from having some of my 13 year old's friends here this weekend. I've explained to one of them like a thousand times that the ONLY person I buy soda for is my husband, so he can stop asking if he can have one.

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Some of my kids' friends come to visit and the boys all go to the playroom and stay there and play for the entire visit. Great. But some of my boys' friends come to visit and they keep BUGGING me. "Can I have a drink? I don't like water. What's that stuff in the pitcher? Can I have some of that? Almost gone? Well, can I have the rest of it? Can you make some more?"

 

Or, "I can't find that toy that I played with last time. But I can't find it. Will you help me look for it? I did try to look already, but I couldn't find it. Will you come help me look for it? Please? Just help me look..."

 

 

Those kids don't get invited back.

Not only do they annoy me, but they annoy my dc as well. One of my dd's said "I couldn't even play with her because she was always asking for something!"

 

They have plenty of more independent, not so needy friends who are welcome anytime :-D

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:iagree:It is a rarity for me to baby sit my own grand kids. It is just to much stress. I did about 3 yrs ago and after told my ds that I love his kids, I love his kids, I love his kids BUT I don't want to have to be umpire between his kids and his kids and my two. They know that I will in an emergency but......:auto:

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I must admit I get pretty blunt with those sorts of kids- they learn pretty quick that I am not really available for anything other than basics. I am friendly but brusque.

We have a kid that ds babysits regularly because his mum comes to my dh's classes (held at home mostly)- and this kid has been banned from touching anything in the house, and he cant go anywhere except ds15's bdroom where he can play only his own handheld Nintendo. He just burned all his bridges- and not to mention he is quite happy to provoke my son to anger by being so annoying, then tell his mum stories to make her think my son is out of line.

One thing that bugs me is when the kids have friends over and they ask for food- or just take fruit from the fruit basket, which probably my kids allowed them to- and then leave plates or apple cores around the place. That is just plain bad manners.

Nowadays I ask visiting kids to help my kids do dishes, clean up after meals etc. I just include them in the general chores- and mostly, that seems to work well.

Also, just to give the other side of the coin....a homeschooling kid came and spent a night with us a few months ago- someone from a very religious family that we have known for years but not really socialised much with except at homeschool functions. This kid- 6foot plus but younger than ds15, was the most well behaved, polite kid I have ever met. He stood up after the meal and just started doing dishes without saying anything. He asked permission for things, he thanked me for meals, he talked to me politely but openly and friendly...I know this kid is the wild one of his family of 6 siblings, and i know his mother has struggled with him...and I just had to tell her...he was the best guest we have EVER had. If only more parents took it seriously just to teach their kids basic manners.

But then again, my son is my difficult one and is a bit of a nightmare at home...yet I am always hearing he is so well behaved at other peoples' places. The lady down the road just adores him- he just about lives there at times, being Big Brother to her two boys and her young daughter.

 

No, I dont like looking after other people's kids much either...but I am finding it a bit easier now they are older, even though they are bigger, noisier, and eat more. In fact, the other day I got home and dd16 had 2 guyfriends and a girlfriend over and they were swimming in the pool together, having fun. I had just been and brought 4 chooks and some feed and some straw- it was VERY useful to have 2 teenager young men to get it all out of the car for me and fill the feed bin and set the chooks up in their new home.

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I'm not a fan of watching other peoples' kids either. I'm always floored at how demanding they are. I remember once I was eating my lunch (the kids had already eaten) and little "guest" asked, "Can I have some of what you're having?" I couldn't believe it. When I was little I wouldn't have asked for water even if I was dying of thirst.

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I totally agree with you. My ideal child is the one I don't even know is here. :D I get exhausted when a child needs me to entertain them; I won't do that for my own children! I also don't like children who want to know what I'm doing, yell for no reason, or want to eat/drink constantly. We do have special needs kiddos here often, and with love I can put up with anything from them, but everyone else... no way.

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My DH calls those kids without manners 'feral kids' because no one has taken the time to teach them how to behave. We have one granddaughter, age five, that is the worst. I took her with my younger two to a children's bowling party and she insisted that we go to McDonald's afterward. The insisting began about halfway through the party. I told her no several times. She demanded to know why I kept saying no. I just kept saying no. She insisted. I pointed out that I was the driver of the car and she was only five. She still kept on and on about it, until she finally grabbed my purse with the intent of going through it, saying she wanted to see how much money I had because then, according to her, I would have no excuse!

The worst part is that her mother (my DSD26) doesn't want to hear it, and is actually angry with ME for telling her I thought the girl was rude and why.

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I am the same.

 

I didn't like kids before I had mine. Now, I like *mine*. That's it. :lol: But, I have six, so people ERRONEOUSLY think I'm a *kid person*. They couldn't be MORE WRONG!

 

:iagree: I really like my kids ....but.....I am not a "kid" person...and no...just because I homeschool does not mean I offer free childcare...or that I desire to teach Sunday school....quite the opposite.

 

Faithe

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I try very hard not to watch other people's children because people do not teach manners or respect anymore. And I'm not just talking about the children...some parents are the same way.

 

I kept my cousin's 4 girls the other day. When my cousin's dh dropped the kids off he said I probably wanted to keep the kids overnight since it was going to be about 10pm when they were done with dinner. I said that I would be up and so would their children. I don't mind overnighters but some notice would be nice and they have a 1 yo who likes to put EVERYTHING in her mouth...I was pulling Polly Pocket shoes out all night.

 

By the time the girls were picked up all Lili's dolls hair were knotted and pulled down from whatever style they had when we got them. I had to cut things out of Rapunzels hair and I still can't get the tangles out. And the tiara that she had in her jewelry box was broken into pieces. When my dd saw that she started crying.

 

And finally, everytime these children come over they want to take something home. When I said no, Lili started crying saying that they wouldn't be her friend if they couldn't take the doll home. That was the final straw for me. I have never had to say to my children..." You are going to so and so's house. You can not bring any of their toys home." I guess I thought this was a given.:confused:

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I am so thankful for this thread! I thought I was a terrible person for feeling this way. My kids have some friends who come over and I never hear from them or see them, except when I call them in or downstairs for lunch. There are others who are quite needy and don't get invited back.

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I feel much the same way. When my kids have friends over, I think of it as "break time" for me. Imagine my horror when my kid was the one being needy at someone else's house!

 

It was a couple of years ago. A friend offered to keep my boys while I had an appt. I was gone about 2 hours. When I got back, there she was, playing a card game with my oldest. They'd been playing about half an hour! I know her quite well....she's a lot like me....this card game wasn't her idea!!! I got the kids rounded up and into the car then went back in and apologized profusely. She was really nice about it but I still felt terrible. My son had no clue that this was even remotely strange. :lol:

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My DH calls those kids without manners 'feral kids' because no one has taken the time to teach them how to behave. We have one granddaughter, age five, that is the worst. I took her with my younger two to a children's bowling party and she insisted that we go to McDonald's afterward. The insisting began about halfway through the party. I told her no several times. She demanded to know why I kept saying no. I just kept saying no. She insisted. I pointed out that I was the driver of the car and she was only five. She still kept on and on about it, until she finally grabbed my purse with the intent of going through it, saying she wanted to see how much money I had because then, according to her, I would have no excuse! The worst part is that her mother (my DSD26) doesn't want to hear it, and is actually angry with ME for telling her I thought the girl was rude and why.

 

:eek:

 

This story reminds of a friend who took her son and another boy to Tim Horton's for a treat. She told them they could have a drink and a baked good. That was all she had $ for.

 

Well, this boy insisted on a drink and 2 baked goods. They went back and forth. My friend was mortified. The boy was literally crying and thrashing around and said if she didn't buy him the drink and 2 baked goods, he wouldn't get anything. Fine. He got nothing.

 

When she took him home, he told his mom that my friend would't buy him anything and that he was so sad he couldn't help but cry b/c he had to watch them enjoy their treats while he got nothing.

 

His mom believed him. In.Cred.Ible.

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I am the same.

 

I didn't like kids before I had mine. Now, I like *mine*. That's it. :lol: But, I have six, so people ERRONEOUSLY think I'm a *kid person*. They couldn't be MORE WRONG!

I didn't like other people's babies before I had my own. They didn't look cute, and I had a real hard time summoning up any kind of gushiness whatsoever. Then I had mine, and of course mine were cute. I'm starting to like other people's babies a bit. Just the cute ones. ;)

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I am not referring to those times we do invite someone over; I mean those times when some mom calls asking for a playdate then invites her child to our house for whatever amount of time allows her to do whatever it is that she was hoping to get done. This is called babysitting not a playdate! Why do some people confuse the two?

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I dread babysitting. I don't mind "play dates" when the other parent stays (to entertain me! :D) but I seriously can't deal with most other kids and even my kids when they are around other kids. I have a certain tolerance for the noise level in my home and when it is increase I get CRABBY.

 

Something possessed me the other day to take my daughter and 3 of her friends to the library for a program. I'm sure they thought I was the meanest mom every because I kept telling them to be quiet or we were leaving. And the car ride home - have mercy! I know my daughter is going to ask me to have a slumber party one of these days and I'm just going to cry. And move out for the night.

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:eek:

 

This story reminds of a friend who took her son and another boy to Tim Horton's for a treat. She told them they could have a drink and a baked good. That was all she had $ for.

 

Well, this boy insisted on a drink and 2 baked goods. They went back and forth. My friend was mortified. The boy was literally crying and thrashing around and said if she didn't buy him the drink and 2 baked goods, he wouldn't get anything. Fine. He got nothing.

 

When she took him home, he told his mom that my friend would't buy him anything and that he was so sad he couldn't help but cry b/c he had to watch them enjoy their treats while he got nothing.

 

His mom believed him. In.Cred.Ible.

 

Wow. What an overindulged little brat!

 

I don't like watching other peoples' kids, either. Now that my boys are older it's a whole lot nicer to have friends over; they pretty much do their own thing and fetch their own snacks.

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Oh my goodness!!!! It's like you were all here yesterday! I also did NOT like children before I had my own. And I have to say, that for the most part, I still do NOT like children except my own.

 

Yesterday's guest was a sleepover guest who asked for food NON-STOP. I asked, "Do you like grilled cheese sandwiches?" "Yes!" So I made one and gave it to him. "Where's the tomato soup? I can't eat the sandwich without the soup." And then he wanted another sandwich. And an apple. And a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And that juice that he likes that we have at our house.

 

They went outside to play and were cold when they came in. "Ms. Garga, make us some hot chocolate! We're cold!" DH said, "We don't have hot chocolate." Bemused child: "Can't you go and get some for us?"

 

The child didn't want to sleep in the spot that was reserved for him to sleep. And sat hunched up with his arms crossed over his chest. I told him that he'd have to work out where he slept with my sons. It was between him and them.

 

I asked the child to clean up the shoebox full of crayons that he spilled everywhere and he pouted on my couch and cried. At that point, I figured that he had never been taught how to behave at other people's houses, so I decided the lessons would start NOW. And I turned into Chinese Mom (almost) and lectured him and threatened that he would never be a guest here again until he finally gave in and cleaned up the crayons.

 

Oh--and he'd used our toilet (which stunk so bad I had to close the bathroom door and turn on the exhaust fan), and when he left I noticed that the water level was strange, so I flushed it. And it overflowed. So I had to spend the next half hour moping up water, washing bath mats and scrubbing the floor.

 

 

 

(To be fair, I have to add, that not ALL of my ds's friends are like this. Some of them scurry off to the playroom and don't come out until their parents come to pick them up. I don't mind those kids at all.)

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I actually do not mind having the kids over my house. I love kids and I babysat for many years. Now, this does not mean that I like rude kids. I have only encountered one truly rude child and I have had many over the years.

 

I do have one friend though that will invite my two girls 4 & 13 (she has got girls the same age) to go to a movie or shopping or whatever and then she will say would you mind keeping ______ her 1 year old. This has happened quite a few times. I really do not mind keeping her, but just the way she goes about it really irks me. :glare:

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and when I have an adult with kids over, and the kids are friends with my kids....go play, I do not want to socialize with your child. Make them be a kid and go play.............pulease!!l

 

THANK YOU! Seriously cannot STAND it when I'm trying to have an adult conversation with another adult and their child keeps interrupting to try to 'converse' with us!!! I have a friend who brought her three kids over to play and her 10 yo daughter just stood there while we chatted. She kept interrupting her mother to inject her own comments, and she would yammer on and and on like a valley girl: "So and so, like, did this and so and so, like said that, and then, like, we all totally went went and did this". And her mother just stood there and let her do it. :banghead:

 

And DS7's friend: I like you. You're a sweet kid. But I sooooooo don't want a play-by-play of your Super Mario Brothers game that goes on for 10-15 minutes.

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I totally agree with you. My ideal child is the one I don't even know is here. :D I get exhausted when a child needs me to entertain them; I won't do that for my own children! I also don't like children who want to know what I'm doing, yell for no reason, or want to eat/drink constantly. We do have special needs kiddos here often, and with love I can put up with anything from them, but everyone else... no way.

 

I'll drink to that :cheers2: .

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Is this an actual paid babysitting situation, or when your kids' friends from the neighborhood come over at random? If the latter, I'd start training your kids that they need to take care of their own guests, and when a request is directed at you, refer them back to their friend that lives in your home (i.e., your child).

 

My DD goes over to friends' houses, and she knows, I hope, not to impose. She's allowed to accept snacks and such if offered, and knows it's always okay to ask for water (we live in the desert for pete's sake), but that she should come home if she really needs something or is hungry or whatever. In other words, she goes to play with her friends, not to be babysat by their parents. There's always an adult in our home for her to come home to for whatever, and I'd hope that if she mentioned to a friend's parent that she was hungry and that parent wasn't prepared or wanting to give out snacks, she'd suggest she go home and get something to eat!

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I didn't like kids before I had mine. Now, I like *mine*. That's it.

This is me. Although, I must say, almost all the friends my kids have had over are polite and well behaved.

 

I think that's because they're scared of me. :D You all are probably being too nice.

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we have 6 kids, they have friends over but not a group at a time, one kid can 1 or 2 over a time..everybody else will have to come different days.

When ours were young we started breakfst at 7, eat and get out- dont come back for anything until lunch (repeat with dinner) and that proud tradition lives today!

regular company knows the routine, (and yes drink out the hose).

With so many in a house - I have to be this way to have ANY sanity (and a mostly clean house)

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And her mother just stood there and let her do it. :banghead: .

 

Oh, my...this was my house yesterday...DW hosted our monthly 4-H mtg at our place...MLK day, so the PS members were able to come. So it was a big group, which was nice...but...

 

I work at home...guess who had to mind someone's two little 2-yr old boys for an hour, while their mom chit-chatted away.:tongue_smilie: Our house is no longer toddler proof...but I figured an extra hour to catch up on work later was more efficient than blowing the afternoon driving these kid to the hospital after breaking my wood stove with their heads or knocking over our piano (yes, I know, but these 2 could actually do it, I think. They could break an anvil.)

 

And DS7's friend: I like you. You're a sweet kid. But I sooooooo don't want a play-by-play of your Super Mario Brothers game that goes on for 10-15 minutes.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: I HAVE SO BEEN THERE!!!!! :lol:

Edited by Barry Goldwater
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When I was a kid, way back in the dark ages of the 70's, we got a drink from the hose. If we went inside to ask for a drink, we got water. We mostly were expected to fend for ourselves in the area of toys and what to games to play. Parents were only bothered in emergencies or if unsolvable disputes broke out, or if a younger sibling went out of control or something.

:tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree:

I was also a kid in the 70's and this is how it was for me...Now kids need for you to do everything...Even my own kids need to much from me I think...Other people's kids definitely need more attention than my own it seems...

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Is this an actual paid babysitting situation, or when your kids' friends from the neighborhood come over at random? If the latter, I'd start training your kids that they need to take care of their own guests, and when a request is directed at you, refer them back to their friend that lives in your home (i.e., your child).

 

 

Just kids coming to visit. I would NOT accept a paid babysitting job. I am not of the temperament to babysit. But if I were being paid to babysit, then I would expect that I would be hands-on caring for them and tending to needs.

 

I agree with you about training them. The needy 5 yo that comes to visit will be a little harder to train, because he is only 5 and it's expected that they'll be more needy and dependent. It's the 8 and 9 year olds that need to be taught some independence from me. Their parents might do things differently at their houses, but at my house...we follow my rules. (That's the speech I had to give the 9 yo who wouldn't clean up the crayons.)

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I'm glad I'm not alone. I love having SOME kids over, but not most. I was never a 'kid person' before having kids, and I haven't changed much. I like my own (most days), though!

:iagree:

Add me to the list of those who are very glad to know that they are not the only ones...

 

I dreaded phone calls for me to babysit when I was a teen. :tongue_smilie:

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I loathe it, actually. It's bad enough that I have to deal with my own snots, how much more other people snots. I feel that the mom or moms are just dumping their kids onh me, so they can be free. The pretending to like the kids not my own is so exhausting. There, i've said it.

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I am the same.

 

I didn't like kids before I had mine. Now, I like *mine*. That's it. :lol: But, I have six, so people ERRONEOUSLY think I'm a *kid person*. They couldn't be MORE WRONG!

 

:iagree:Me too! (except I only have two kids) I love my kids, but most of the time I'm not thrilled with others. I feel guilty admitting that.

 

Mary

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