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Told our parents that we're planning on homeschooling!


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My DS is still much too young for schooling, but I felt like I was lying every time someone asked me, "Where is DS going to go to school?" (we moved from NC to rural WI almost two years ago, so part of it is relatives/acquaintances wondering how far away the school is from our house), and I answered, "Well, the elementary school is in [next town over]." My DH and I have always planned on homeschooling, but we knew that our parents would be against it; but, obviously, we have the final say in how we raise our children. My MIL is a retired elementary school teacher, and she has always made it clear that she disapproves of homeschooling. My parents are immigrants, and it is a completely foreign idea and they have no cultural reference for this kind of thing.

 

Anyway, thanks to the many wonderful posts on this board, DH and I discussed how we would approach this with our parents. We had initially thought that we would have all our arguments in place to be ready to counter any issues that our parents brought up. But after reading the board, we went with the "this is our decision, period" approach and decided that we would make it clear that homeschooling was not up for debate.

 

We were at an extended family gathering on DH's when the school question came up, and my DH completely shocked me by informing his family that we would be homeschooling (we had agreed that we would each tell our parents). It turned out it was good that he did this around a lot of other people because one of his aunts immediately said that she thought it was a great idea, and it kept his parents from making a huge scene. My MIL did tell us that she was extremely disappointed, but I think that my FIL will come around eventually. They have not brought the topic up again, though we bring our copy of WTM every time we visit just in case (we've decided that we'll talk to them about specifics if they read WTM :)).

 

Things went a lot better than I expected with my parents. I told my father first (he tends to be more understanding of the more unconventional things I've done, and he gets my mom to be on board with things eventually), so when I brought homeschooling up with both my parents, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had already talked to her. She is still a little apprehensive about the socialization aspect but was somewhat placated by extracurricular activities and homeschooling groups. But in the end, she seemed to be in favor of both the classical and religious education that my DH and I want our children to have.

 

I really think that things would not have gone this well had I not had the wisdom of the hive. It helped me so much, and I thank all of you for your wonderful posts.

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That's great! Way to be strong. We recently let our family know as well, although I get the feeling they don't believe me and think it's a phase. This belief has kept them from fighting me, but both our parents are the kind to share their opinions if we want them, but let us do our thing. So not too much trouble. Over Christmas I let my extended family know. We have a family newsletter where we each submit articles about what we've been up to. I mentioned that "we have been considering homeschooling, so I've been researching a lot and find all the education theory of it totally fascinating!" You can't really argue with that.

 

Anyways, I'm happy it went so well for you guys!

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Things went a lot better than I expected with my parents. I told my father first (he tends to be more understanding of the more unconventional things I've done, and he gets my mom to be on board with things eventually), so when I brought homeschooling up with both my parents, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had already talked to her. She is still a little apprehensive about the socialization aspect but was somewhat placated by extracurricular activities and homeschooling groups. But in the end, she seemed to be in favor of both the classical and religious education that my DH and I want our children to have.

 

 

 

My mom had the same concerns before we started hs'ing dd. We are now in our 3rd year and she can easily see that dd does not have social issues. Just wait til you finish the first year and they see what your child has learned. They will probably support you whole-heartedly after that!

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Yay for your dh's aunt! That sort of thing can be such a great support. I have had relatives like that all my life and they have made things much easier for me with those who are much more dubious.

 

Sounds like its going to be ok with your parents too.

 

It is great to have parents at least not be too openly negative. But in the end its time that will tell. My parents, I am sure, were quite dubious for quite a while, but they didn't dare exress that to me. After a few years they tell all their friends and relatives how great their homeschooled grandkids are, and my step mum actually told her dd to homeschool her own kids who were having bullying issues at school, and she now does. Its much less well known in Australia so its a big deal.

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Congratulations! When the time for formal schooling comes, one of the best ideas I've ever heard for helping ease grandparent's fears or uncertainties was to create and print a newsletter. It's possible to do impressive things with some imagination, basic software and a color printer these days. Even the small things you do like printing a poem or narration, or pictures of a science experiment or nature walk help translate homeschooling into terms people like your MIL will understand. It's even better when the newsletter is a joint project created by you and and the dc. The proof of the pudding is in the eating!

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I'm so tired of the socialization comments. That seems to be the first thing to pop out of someones mouth when I tell them we homeschool.

 

I was a little less annoyed with my mom just because the idea of homeschooling is just so foreign to her. Where my parents came from, no one does it, and none of their friends in the States does it, either (and they don't really have non-ethnic friends). Knowing how mind-boggling this was for her, I considered it a victory that extracurriculars and homeschooling groups over the course of one conversation won her over!

 

My retired elementary schoolteacher MIL is a little harder to deal with, I have to admit.

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My mom had the same concerns before we started hs'ing dd. We are now in our 3rd year and she can easily see that dd does not have social issues. Just wait til you finish the first year and they see what your child has learned. They will probably support you whole-heartedly after that!

 

:iagree: 3 out of 4 grandparents were quietly skeptical when we started homeschooling. They are all converts 2 1/2 years in and can see how well our kids are doing socially and academically. Now they brag about how lucky and brilliant these 2 grandchildren are. :lol:

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