3.5 yo wants to "go to school?"

[FortWorthCookes]

Hi All!

 

I have a 3.5 yo, a 2 yo and another due in May. Our plan is to HS, as I was HS and believe in the lifestyle and process.

Our 3.5 yo DD is very into the thought of "going to school." I know it's the age and the influence of toddler tv shows and the like, but I think it's starting to let some doubt creep into our conviction. My husband mentioned preschool the other day, and I've started looking at schools in the area, "Just to be sure." We're in North TX, so the schools are "good," but I think that I'm still mostly sure the HS is what will benefit our on-the-go, cohesive, education-centered family.

What can I do to create an atmosphere that says, "We're a homeschooling family" when my daughters and husband aren't quite sure what a homeschooling family is? I'd like the keep the mindset we started out in, but I'm not sure what to do with these in-between years. She's really anxious to be sitting at a desk in a traditional school, but I really don't know how to convey that a traditional school isn't where we're headed!

[SailorMom]

My kids both went to two years of pre-school and Kindergarten. It was all half day- and the pre-school was two or three days a week.

They had a lot of fun - I volunteered all the time - in pre-school at least once a week, and in K two or three days a wekk.

We hadn't decided at that point to HS - and I am really glad that they went for those years.

So - even if you send your DC to preschool - it certainly doesn't mean you're not going to HS :)

[DarlaS]

Toddler tv shows talk about school? Might be time to find a homeschool group and meet some kids who do not go to school. Get some other influences in there.

 

Go places. Tell her "We want you to see your world and learn all about it.". School is not the world. It's just a building.

[musicianmom]

I went through something similar when my oldest was about that age. I think it's difficult when you know you want to homeschool, but the reality is so far away. You have to maintain your determination when there's nothing concrete to bolster your confidence. (I don't know if that makes any sense!)

 

Just a thought, and I know it goes against a lot of people's hs philosophy, but what about some school at home type things? Get some posters from the school supply store and have circle time, find a used desk that your child can sit in for coloring (or worksheets if she's so inclined). My dd is in K, and she still pretends that our school time is "real" school. She gets all her dolls and lines them up to be classmates, she raises her hand to answer questions, she pretends to pass out papers. I play along -- whatever motivates her to get her work done, you know?

 

And just so you know, Sid the Science Kid actually goes to a homeschool co-op. Doesn't everyone know that? ;)

 

I also agree with the previous poster about finding a homeschool group. By the time dd was K age, she had made some great friends who were going to be homeschooled also (from families who had been homeschooling for awhile, so I knew the moms weren't going to change their minds at the last minute and send the kids to school). So homeschooling seemed natural for her by that point.

Edited January 17, 2011 by musicianmom

[ChrissySC]

We had the same problem with our 2yo. I took her to a Mother's Morning Out program that had preschool lessons. You could choose 1-4 days a week. This was at the church. She is now almost 4yo and still goes. I pay for four days a week, although we typically attend 2-4 days and sometimes not at all. This is a half day program. You might want to look for something like this. It has done wonders for her social skills. I like that they have chapel on Thursdays too!

[nono]

Well, I'm just old and cranky, but I wouldn't let a 3.5 yr old tell me how his/her life was going to lay out just yet. ;)

 

How about finding some books to read to your child showing children learning at home? Island Boy immediately springs to mind. I'm sure others have many more to add.

[Brigitte]

Just a thought, and I know it goes against a lot of people's hs philosophy, but what about some school at home type things? Get some posters from the school supply store and have circle time, find a used desk that your child can sit in for coloring (or worksheets if she's so inclined). My dd is in K, and she still pretends that our school time is "real" school. She gets all her dolls and lines them up to be classmates, she raises her hand to answer questions, she pretends to pass out papers. I play along -- whatever motivates her to get her work done, you know?

 

And just so you know, Sid the Science Kid actually goes to a homeschool co-op. Doesn't everyone know that? ;)

 

I also agree with the previous poster about finding a homeschool group. By the time dd was K age, she had made some great friends who were going to be homeschooled also (from families who had been homeschooling for awhile, so I knew the moms weren't going to change their minds at the last minute and send the kids to school). So homeschooling seemed natural for her by that point.

 

:iagree:

[Samiam]

Well, I'm just old and cranky, but I wouldn't let a 3.5 yr old tell me how his/her life was going to lay out just yet. ;)

 

 

I must be old and cranky too, because I agree with that statement 110%.

 

My four year old wanted to go outside and play in the snow with shorts and Crocs. It wasn't his choice since I, as the adult, know better.

 

As far as your DH, I know that it is important to have him on board.

 

I would start exposure to HS groups, meeting with them at Park days, going on field trips, etc. Meet actual HSer's. I also asked my DH to read some of the HSing books that I had read....the ones about "how to homeschool" that tell of other families who HS, and their journeys and how successful those families and children were.

 

There is nothing wrong with going to preschool and for that matter, if YOU choose to have her continue in public school, then that is fine for your family.

 

But it needs to be a informed decision between you and DH. Three year olds get little choice in their life plans at this point.

 

The thing is, she is not basing her choice on reality, but on a skewed perception, I guess based on cartoons. Just as my DS4 was not basing his choice of clothing based on the reality that is was 30 degrees out, but that he loves his orange Crocs, cuz that is his favorite color. Perhaps if I had let him outside in the snow with shorts and Crocs, his percecption would have changed to something more based in reality. But I wasn't giving him the chance to find out.

[celticmom]

My dd6 talked about going to school some about a year ago. When I pointed out to her that she couldn't take her puppy with her to school she gave me a scandalized look, hugged her puppy, and dropped the subject.:lol:

[DawnM]

Mine all went through that.....with friends talking about going to K, they got excited to go too....then reality set in and we got involved in the homeschool groups and now they beg not to go to school!

 

I was worried with my youngest who talked about it even though we were already hsing.....but he now loves homeschooling.

 

Dawn

[ariasmommy]

I think it's normal for a young child to be excited about going to school. I remember asking for a school bus cake for my third bithday, because I was so excited to go - still a have a pic of it somewhere. :) But the reality was for me (and probably many kids) that the actual experience wasn't quite as good as all the books and TV shows make it out to be. I am very grateful to my parents for taking me out of that environment and homeschooling me from second grade up, even though there were times during my childhood and teenage years when I thought wistfully of going back to PS. I'm not saying that homeschooling is the best thing for your family, but that you and your husband need to be convinced of the best direction for your family and stick with it. Let your kids know the "whys" behind your choices, as appropriate, but don't let their (understandable) childhood whims guide you. And as some others have said, finding some other families who homeschool would help them see it as "normal" :).

[MorganClassicalPrep]

My DD went through a phase of about a year where she was determined she was going to go to school, and it was about 3.5-4.5. Many of her friends are older, so they were all going to school, and her one younger friend started school this year. She kept talking and talking and talking about going to school.

 

I just kept reminding her that she DOES go to school, just at home, and making sure she had many chances to be with other kids. She doesn't ask about going to school anymore, and when other people ask her if she's in school yet she happily says "I'm homeschooled!"

[Rosie_0801]

My 3yo doesn't really know about school yet (she leads a sheltered life :D) but we taught her the word "work" very early on and she knows Daddy sometimes goes to work and sometimes does work in his room, so she seems fine with doing her own work in her room too. We have talked about schools occasionally if we've been passing one when the kids are out for lunch, because she's attracted to the other kids, but she seems fine that they do school there and she does school at home. We'll see how things go over the next year, though. Maybe the well meaning questions will get to her, but knowing her, they probably won't. Someone is a bit contrary like her Mamma. :glare::lol: She has a desk big enough for most floor puzzles so we can lock the toddler out and work on them. I usually read to her while she does her puzzles, she might do some art stuff, you know, the sort of things 3 year olds do.

 

I blog about it for my mother who is interstate and dh. I don't think he reads it, but the fact that he could read it seems to satisfy him that we do stuff. In fact, the other day we were talking about what we've done this past year and what I was planning for this year, and he reminded me that I'd forgotten to list art. So maybe he does read the blog after all :D

 

Rosie

[laundrycrisis]

I went through this with DS1, and now I am in the middle of it with DS2.

 

I will admit that I restrict their access to TV shows that I feel make school look all fun, and I also choose all the books we/they read, and any that make a big deal of school don't get through. They watch shows like Jacob Two-Two where the portrayal of school is humorous but not positive, and Phineas and Ferb, who are spending their school summer break creating adventures.

 

With both of our kids, I have been able to give them some of the experience they are wanting without actually enrolling them in a school, by having them take classes through the park districts in our area. These classes are once per week and may run from 45 minutes to 2 hours long. Some are artsy, some are oriented to letters and numbers, and some have a nature or science focus. There is no pressure, no homework, no evaluations of any kind...just a fun class with a bit of educational value. DS1 is older now, and observes the coming and going of the school bus, and I think he is starting to understand when I say I do not think he would be happy in school all day, five days a week. He realizes when we are out doing something fun that he could not do if he was in school, or when he gets his work done early and has half the day to do as he wants, he knows he would not get that freedom without homeschooling. He also likes not having to do homework in the evenings. Now he does still like the idea of doing something away from me......but he doesn't want it to be school anymore.

Edited January 17, 2011 by laundrycrisis

[Jen in PA]

Mine both liked the idea of school and were totally satisfied to have an occasional classroom experience -- classes at the natural history museum with other homeschoolers, homeschool co-op classes, etc. at that age. Once they realized that "real school" was like that but all day, 5 days a week, they never asked again! They like that sort of thing in small doses, enough to satisfy their curiosity, and that seems to be enough for them. DD really does wish she could ride the school bus, but is adamant about not wanting to go to school.:D