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I don't know if this is supposed to make people feel good that those "supermoms" are probably lying, or feel bad remembering the lies we've told, or just leave us scratching our heads because we had no idea we were supposed to lie:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-12192050

 

"Many mothers are under so much pressure to appear like perfect parents that they cover up how much television their children watch or what they cook their families, according to a survey."

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I don't know if this is supposed to make people feel good that those "supermoms" are probably lying, or feel bad remembering the lies we've told, or just leave us scratching our heads because we had no idea we were supposed to lie:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-12192050

 

"Many mothers are under so much pressure to appear like perfect parents that they cover up how much television their children watch or what they cook their families, according to a survey."

 

Im the spirit of honesty I'd like to state that in 20 minutes I am going to wake my son up (8:00 a.m.) and feed him left over blueberry/banana muffins with a glass of milk for breakfast. I'd also like to say that if I actually wake him up before 8:00 it will be the first time all school year. He usually sleeps until almost 10.

 

So there. :tongue_smilie:

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Im the spirit of honesty I'd like to state that in 20 minutes I am going to wake my son up (8:00 a.m.) and feed him left over blueberry/banana muffins with a glass of milk for breakfast. I'd also like to say that if I actually wake him up before 8:00 it will be the first time all school year. He usually sleeps until almost 10.

 

So there. :tongue_smilie:

 

You're going to feed him? Really? Are we supposed to do that? Mine have to fend for themselves. I used to feed them. I think I even cooked them breakfast daily. Huh, haven't done that in a while....:tongue_smilie:

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No surprise there. My dh has been saying that for years about some home school moms we've met over the years. You know. Those perfect ones with the perfect kids? Yeah. Not buying it here.

 

My mom said the same thing years ago about all of her "friends" whose kids were perfect... Of course, this was their way of helping her feel better after she shared her real struggles with her very real kids. :ack2:

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I'll be honest. My dc watch unlimited TV and have unlimited Wii play. My dc had sugary processed chocolate chunk granola bars for breakfast. My 3 yo watches TV so I can school the older ones. I will say that just because the TV is on doesn't mean they are watching. My dc play with legos while the TV is on. Very rarely do they just "sit and watch". It is almost like background noise. I do monitor what is on the screen. They only watch cartoon movies, Star Wars and Indiana Jones. I don't have cable, so there are no commercials. My dc only play "G" rated Wii games. Wii sports, Disney Princesses and the all the Lego Wii games.

 

We eat lots of processed foods, but they are the ones I consider more healthy!:lol: They eat corn chips with homemade ranch dip, we always eat WW bread, we eat lots of Roman Noodles, but I add broccoli. Lots of fruit from a can and packaged noodles (I add can chicken and veggies to the packaged noodles).

 

My dc don't have a bedtime. They fall asleep and wake up on their own.

 

I know, I'm awful, but my dc are happy and healthy and learning at a steady pace.

 

I always complete school. That is one thing I don't let slide. Other that that, it is free play.

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You're going to feed him? Really? Are we supposed to do that? Mine have to fend for themselves. I used to feed them. I think I even cooked them breakfast daily. Huh, haven't done that in a while....:tongue_smilie:

 

:lol:

 

Mine are still in bed. And we are almost out of milk. :D

 

My plans for today involve watching a dvd for history, griping about how nothing ever gets done around here unless I do it, working on MY project, procrastinating on vacuuming, and maybe making a big pot of whatevers-in-the-fridge soup. I mean errr... My Super Healthy Specialty Food Concoction that none of my kids complain about. :tongue_smilie: :001_smile:

 

Yeah.

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I don't know if this is supposed to make people feel good that those "supermoms" are probably lying, or feel bad remembering the lies we've told, or just leave us scratching our heads because we had no idea we were supposed to lie:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-12192050

 

"Many mothers are under so much pressure to appear like perfect parents that they cover up how much television their children watch or what they cook their families, according to a survey."

 

 

Okay. I just read ("read" here meaning "quickly skimmed") this article. Can I just day this dude needs an editor?

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I don't know if this is supposed to make people feel good that those "supermoms" are probably lying, or feel bad remembering the lies we've told, or just leave us scratching our heads because we had no idea we were supposed to lie:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-12192050

 

"Many mothers are under so much pressure to appear like perfect parents that they cover up how much television their children watch or what they cook their families, according to a survey."

 

What funny about this is that I hate a lie and do not tell them but ppl believe them about me anyway!

 

I am REALLY disorganized! REALLY! My house is usually a cluttered mess. REALLY! I cook (mostly) good, wholesome meals but I am by no means a gourmet. REALLY!

 

I do have a fabulous kid but that's not my fault. REALLY. SHe came that way.

 

What's funny, though, is that ppl think I'm all put together, organized, a fabulous cook, et c. When I groan about the house being a mess or some disorganized aspect of my life ppl think I'm being self-effacing/modest/whatever. I cannot figure this out.

 

If I say that my house is a mess someone will reply, "Mmmhmm, did a dust mote fall on your end table this morning?" I kid you not.

 

I AM THE MOST DISORGANIZED PERSON I KNOW! and yet I have been invited to discuss organization tips at different groups, some homeschool related some not. I can only laugh.

 

At a birthday party once a mom said that she had read that sometimes kids will grow up to be allergic to foods they had a lot as a kid. I said, "Well, mine will be allergic to frozen broccoli." They all stared at me for a minute and then laughed. One mom said, "Right, you'd feed MG frozen broccoli." THat kid eats frozen broccoil every.single.day. and has for years. She has to nuke it herself, though.

 

So, I have no need to lie. I just tell the truth but no one believes it and they think I'm the self-effacing queen of perfect domesticity.

 

It's really hard to believe.

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I've been trying to tell a friend of mine (who is a new-ish mother of an 18 month old) for the last two years!!!

She actually believes all these women where she works about thier kids, houses, and marriages. Yeah- whateever. We all live in reality here.

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No surprise there. My dh has been saying that for years about some home school moms we've met over the years. You know. Those perfect ones with the perfect kids? Yeah. Not buying it here.

 

There is a family who supposedly handed the oldest (7th grader) the complete Seton curriculum (handed the kid the BOX) and the kid did all the work alone, in her room! Then came out to help the mom with the younger siblings the rest of the day.

 

I always hoped it was a lie/stretching of the truth b/c my kids NEVER could have handled that.

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Why lie when you can make a comedy routine out of the truth?

 

:lol:

 

That would be my preferred approach. It's funny...I always thought the point of having mom friends was being able to confess these things to someone who would understand. Save lies for the judgmental MIL! :D

 

If I were too embarrassed to admit something, I would probably figure it was something I should be changing.

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I try to be honest, brutally sometimes, especially about some things like PPD and such. I do cook homemade healthy meals, we don't usually have processed food. The house stays clean most of the time- although there are always random disaster zone times. I cloth diaper, I use natural cleaning products. The kids usually do not watch a lot of tv but sometimes do-like yesterday- they watched 3 movies while we had company. I also lose my temper at times and last week I yelled way too much. Some weeks are bad. Supper isn't always on time, although mostly. Bedtime is a struggle- I strive for 8:30 but usually it is 9 or so. However, getting to bed reasonably early is non-negotiable to me- I like getting enough sleep! The kids are expected to do alot for themselves, good or bad, depending on who you ask. I thankfully have another mommy friend and we confess our worse to each other, we joke about being the worst mothers.

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Hysterical!

I just left my hs friend's with my kids b/c my kids and her kids were fighting with each other too much!

They argued over every thing and then when we were trying to get in some good 'ol mom chit chat time they ate all the chips and a big bag of marshmallows and apparently used it as a hair tonic. Then we slept over and the kids woke each other nad us up all thru the night...and we awoke to more arguing...

So I grabbed my whiny grubby sticky kids and we drove off.

The ironic part is that other hs moms think she's perfect and her kids are super well behaved. When I told her that she peed in her pants laughing...and went to change. I just tell the other moms I'm hanging with her to pick up parenting tips.

My kids are the ones who will slug each other and pick their noses and forget all their math facts. My 3 year old tried to eat caulk yesterday - dh is renovating our fixer upper house. She thought it was marshmellow fluff in a tube!

And those are just the girls!

 

I love to be real with the board - mostly b/c I don't have to worry you guys will get messy. If you were here you might have to step back :tongue_smilie:

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I swear, sometimes it seems like people feel better when you just lie, or at least, uh, volunteer no truthful information. I just spit out the truth sometimes and I think I get looked at weird - or may it's my imagination. I am terribly disorganized, we have an inconsistent schedule, I'm a relaxed homeschooler because I'd fail trying to homeschool any other way, and I hang out on the computer to much. (Duh)

 

I seem to have no problem blurting that out, but the "must look good" type of mommies don't seem to take comfort in it. A few may, but many really think you're supposed to be perfect and I'm leading others astray or something, like I should instead hang my head in shame and quit admitting it, and go *fix* it instead.

 

It's a good thing I'm far to relaxed to care. :tongue_smilie: I'll keep blurting out the cold, hard truth.

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I don't like my kids enough right now to even lie about them. ;)

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

There is a family who supposedly handed the oldest (7th grader) the complete Seton curriculum (handed the kid the BOX) and the kid did all the work alone, in her room! Then came out to help the mom with the younger siblings the rest of the day.

 

I always hoped it was a lie/stretching of the truth b/c my kids NEVER could have handled that.

 

In red, I could do that with my dd who is in 6th grade. I wouldn't even give it a second thought -- she could/would do it. The difference would be that when she came out of the room, she would make herself a sandwich, then go back to her room and (of her own volition) continue to do the work, finish it in half the time, and then work beyond her grade level.

 

The twins -- well, that would be where I am in agreement with Mejane.

 

Everyone's answers were amusing and enlightening. I am more relaxed than dh woulod like me to be -- he would like everyone seated and doing school work at the table by 7am. However, last week, when I was out of town for three days, he had an eye opening experience and a BIG reality check and I think he sees now that this homeschooling 'thing' is a marathon and not a sprint.

 

I am off now to google Seton curriculum.;)

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I swear, sometimes it seems like people feel better when you just lie, or at least, uh, volunteer no truthful information. I just spit out the truth sometimes and I think I get looked at weird - or may it's my imagination. I am terribly disorganized, we have an inconsistent schedule, I'm a relaxed homeschooler because I'd fail trying to homeschool any other way, and I hang out on the computer to much. (Duh)

 

I seem to have no problem blurting that out, but the "must look good" type of mommies don't seem to take comfort in it. A few may, but many really think you're supposed to be perfect and I'm leading others astray or something, like I should instead hang my head in shame and quit admitting it, and go *fix* it instead.

 

It's a good thing I'm far to relaxed to care. :tongue_smilie: I'll keep blurting out the cold, hard truth.

 

LOL! I'm always saying how much more we need to be doing, how hard it is to keep the boys on task, how irritating they can be, how we try to get started at 8:30 - 9:00, etc. and somehow the moms (IRL) who know me think I'm making it all up! They truly believe I brow beat the boys, that we are terribly regimented, that the boys work 8-10 hours per day on school (well, sometimes they do but that's not MY fault :glare:). I'm unsure why they have this perception :001_huh: I don't wear a general's uniform or anything and my boys seem to like me.... I've finally just given up talking about it.

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I don't lie about how much TV my children watch (none. We don't have TV reception), or what foods I cook for them. I'm not into that competitive mom thing.

 

I might lie, to my own Mother, about the fact that my kids stayed up until midnight on a Wednesday night or that we all slept in until 9:30 AM on a Thursday.

 

I do limit movie viewing. Computer games are on a temporary ban. I cook healthy meals for dinner and avoid processed foods. I make sure there are plenty of healthy breakfast and lunch options available. The older kids generally make their own on weekdays. I of course, feed the little ones.

 

I have 2 baskets of laundry in the living room that need folded and put away. The bathroom needs cleaned and the kitchen floor needs mopped.

 

I DID however make everyone breakfast this morning....at 11:15.

 

I will probably yell at someone today.

 

I'm not a perfect mom, and I don't play one on the forums. I'm real. I'm human. I'm flawed.

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You're going to feed him? Really? Are we supposed to do that? Mine have to fend for themselves. I used to feed them. I think I even cooked them breakfast daily. Huh, haven't done that in a while....:tongue_smilie:

I cook for mine, as long as what they want coincides with what I am eating. If they want something different, they are on their own. If the 4yo wants something that requires cooking and is different from mine, he appeals to dd.

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Todd Wilson wrote "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" to address this in the hs community. He's hilarious, comforting, and reassuring. The chapters are:

 

1. Everyone else's kids are better

 

2. Everyone else's home is cleaner

 

3. Everyone fixes better meals

 

4. Everyone else is more disciplined/spiritual

 

5. Everyone else's marriage is better

 

6. Everyone else can do it all

 

7. Every other mom loves homeschooling all the time

 

8. Everyone else is more capable

 

9. I am the only one who is falling apart sometimes

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Todd Wilson wrote "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" to address this in the hs community. He's hilarious, comforting, and reassuring. The chapters are:

 

1. Everyone else's kids are better

 

2. Everyone else's home is cleaner

 

3. Everyone fixes better meals

 

4. Everyone else is more disciplined/spiritual

 

5. Everyone else's marriage is better

 

6. Everyone else can do it all

 

7. Every other mom loves homeschooling all the time

 

8. Everyone else is more capable

 

9. I am the only one who is falling apart sometimes

 

LOL. I have never seen this, but it looks an awful like like a "confessional" conversation my dear friend and I had at one point, in which we confessed that we believed these things about all the other homeschool moms we know, including each other.

 

I don't need anyone to lie to me about this stuff, I just think it all on my own. :D

 

Cat

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And just so nobody gets any wrong ideas about me, in a minute I'm parking the kids in front of a movie with popcorn in their room and forbidding them to come out the rest of the night. Not even if they're bleeding. I plan on eating ice cream and watching trash tv for a few hours. Too bad I can't have wine or it would be perfect.

 

Lying takes up too much energy.

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1. Everyone else's kids are better

2. Everyone else's home is cleaner

3. Everyone fixes better meals

4. Everyone else is more disciplined/spiritual

5. Everyone else's marriage is better

6. Everyone else can do it all

7. Every other mom loves homeschooling all the time

8. Everyone else is more capable

9. I am the only one who is falling apart sometimes

 

I will add

 

10. Everyone else has superstar children (either sports or academics)

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My dh cooks breakfast on Saturdays. Every other day of the week my kids eat cereal for breakfast that they make themselves...even the 6yo. :tongue_smilie:

 

I cook dinner at home about 4 nights a week and the other 3 we go out. But who am I kidding? The ahma does most of the work. :D

 

We don't have cable. Can I get points for that? Ah, forget it. Those points will be eliminated by the fact that last year we watched all 8 seasons of 24. Yes, all 8. In one year. Oh, and my 12yo ds watched them with us.

 

I cannot understand why anyone would make rice crispie treats at home when the boxed ones are really good!

 

I never lie about my mothering. And I am known to counter any and all competitive mothering or competitive "woman-ing" with my ugly truth just to make the liars uncomfortable.

 

Example: a colleague and I recently decided to do the couch to 5K thing together. I need to do some form of exercise eventually so I agreed. Yesterday was our first day out. As we are jogging (and I am trying not to pass out) she says "I used to run 5k every day on my lunch before I had kids." My response? "I have never run 5k. Ever. Not even if you added up all my running together from my life would it add up to 5k."

 

The funny thing is, after that, she relaxed and we had fun and she admitted it was hard for her too, etc. I feel bad for women who think they have to lie.

 

ETA: I take that back. I do lie to my mom but seriously, if you met her you would know why.

Edited by Heather in NC
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Seriously, way back when I had 5 kids 5 and under---when my house could have been sited by the health dept---when we only decorated for Christmas because a neighbor dragged over a discarded fake tree for us---when I was so tired my only emotion was numb----when I figured out cloth diapers were a bit much---when I had a four year old still in diapers and who stole pacifers from the babies---back then I went to a women's conference. The keynote speaker was a mom who had 10--12 kids or maybe it was 15--anyway---she had that big poster of all of the kids with their spouses and kids. In the poster they were all smiling and happy! And she said right out loud---when the kids were young IT WAS AWFULL! I so needed to hear that. She talked about how at one point she would feed everyone supper as soon as hubby got home at 4:30. Then she would take all the littles upstairs and bathe them and get them to bed while her husband and the older kids cleaned the house. I don't remember this ladies name or even what she looked like, but I'll always remember the lesson that its hard, that's okay, do the best you can.

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I think it has to do with what we allow. I DO allow mine to stay up till ten/11 if I know we can sleep in the next day. There are days I serve cereal. There are days we don't get out of PJs. Yes, my house is clean, dinner is made, Dh and I love eachother bunches and my kids are awesome-even though I just served them birthday cake as a snack...see? Another Mom would look at that and perhaps think I'm a wreck-s'all in a day, here.

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She looks like a fairy princess-absolutely adorable. :001_smile:

 

I let my 5 yo dress herself and fer favorite style is Fancy Nancy. She never matches-I could care less.

 

Doesn't she just? She could be a fairy in a Shakespeare production.

 

My truth? The kid wears the same three or four shirts in predictable rotation (clean, at least), as he puts away his laundry and then wears whatever is on top. I know perfectly good clothes are being outgrown without ever seeing daylight, but I figure if he's dressed, I'm happy.

 

And I'm pretty sure he doesn't own a comb.

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My house is a disaster, my kids eat ramen noodles and play video games. I let my nine year old read Harry Potter for "school reading" because it was just easier than arguing about it. We haven't done science in weeks. I have a mountain of laundry on the laundry room floor. It's been there so long that the kids have outgrown some of the things at the bottom of the pile. Seriously. Oh, and my Christmas tree is still up. :glare: Oh and we only get dressed to leave the house.

 

I love this thread. :)

Edited by Mimm
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I am by no means a perfect Mom.

 

I sleep later than my kids (although I do work until 1 AM) and they fend for themselves most mornings for breakfast, which usually consists of instant oatmeal or Capn Crunch.

 

My house is usually a disaster area with clutter everywhere. I try to reassure myself that it is clean under the clutter but I can't always swear to that.

 

Right now, I am tired of homeschooling. I am so envious of those Moms I know whose children are gone during the days. My schedule of working nights 28 hours per week and kids 24/7 with homeschooling is seriously wearing on me. If the public schools were better and actually an option, I would do it in a heartbeat.

 

I do the best I can when it comes to food but I will never be the Mom that grinds my own wheat and makes everything from scratch. I probably cater to my picky eaters too much but it is just not a hill I am willing to die on.

 

I have bright, beautiful, polite, lovely daughters. Most days however I feel that is in spite of me not because of me.

 

This has been a great thread. These issues are one of the main reasons I don't belong to any local homeschool groups because all of my experiences with the ones I have gone to have shown me that apparently that not only am I the only parent that isn't perfect but I am also either too Catholic or not Catholic enough. That is a whole other thread though.

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As long as we are disclosing, my children make their own breakfast most of the time. We let them stay up late on school nights sometimes and let them sleep in too. :D

 

In the interests of truth:

  • I handed each of my kids a large bag of chips for lunch yesterday
  • It is holidays right now, and the TV is on pretty much all day.
  • Ds3 hasn't had a bath in several days - he did swim in the sea yesterday though.

And see how neatly I fudged the facts by adding phrases like "it is holidays right now" (implying school time is different) or "he did swim in the sea" (implying that cleanliness was the goal of that swim). Wow - I lie even when I'm trying to tell the truth.

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ugh...I'm so thankful I am friends with people I can be honest with!! We commiserate and encourage each other regularly. No glossing in my circles :o). My kids are sinful. So are my friend's kids. They all do stupid stuff and humiliate themselves occasionally. We love them all to death anyway. The end.

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My house is a disaster, my kids eat ramen noodles and play video games. Wait... is that bad? Oh great. Another thing to add to my list. :D I let my nine year old read Harry Potter for "school reading" because it was just easier than arguing about it. So can I count "Left Behind: The Kids"? Because ds is loving it and it is some serious twaddle. We haven't done science in weeks. I have a mountain of laundry on the laundry room floor. It's been there so long that the kids have outgrown some of the things at the bottom of the pile. That made me laugh really hard. My ahma does the laundry. But she had to be away for a few days. I cannot remember how to work the machine!!!! Seriously. Oh, and my Christmas tree is still up. :glare: Oh and we only get dressed to leave the house.

 

I love this thread. :)

.
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I love this thread! Can I play?

 

Let's see...when my kids are done with school/chores, they each get a half hour to play video games.

 

I usually let them watch one movie per day (sometimes MORE than one).

 

I should be putting away three loads of clean clothes right now, but I'm confessing my truths.

 

My almost 8 y/o ds does much of his school work orally and he only does math, spelling, copywork, some LA and he listens to science/geo/and missionary stories.

 

I sometimes let said child sleep in while I'm reading aloud the science.geo.missionary stories.

 

Hmmm...I need to think of more now that I've outted myself. I will be back!

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And see how neatly I fudged the facts by adding phrases like "it is holidays right now" (implying school time is different) or "he did swim in the sea" (implying that cleanliness was the goal of that swim). Wow - I lie even when I'm trying to tell the truth.

 

:lol:

 

Yeah, I'm with you there. I really can't tell people what our day is like - it is NOTHING like the "perfect" moms.

 

And I do mean nothing.

 

And as for waking up at 10 or 11 for school - I'd be happy if he got up by noon. He announced a few months ago that it shouldn't matter what time he does school as long as it gets done and my only argument was something along the lines of "Well Mister, in the real world..."

 

Which made me sound like a public school teacher. :blink:

 

So I relented.

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I feel so much better after reading these!

 

We are usually still in our pj's until lunchtime or later, and I have the hardest time reminding them to brush their teeth in the morning!

 

The boys often get their own cereal for breakfast, which they generally eat while watching a movie.

 

My house is a wreck at the moment. Every time I clean/declutter thoroughly I LOVE the way it looks and feels, but I just can't seem to keep up with it!

 

Peanut butter and jelly is a food group in our house.

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