Dd11 may have ADD Inattentive...

[5LittleMonkeys]

We have an appointment scheduled for Tue. with her pediatrician. I know this is just with the pedi. but now I'm having second thoughts. She exhibits some degree of most of the things they list as indicators but I still keep wondering if maybe its just her personality or her hormones or something.

 

It doesn't interfere with daily life because we've all just become accustomed to the way she is but school is getting harder and harder. She has such a hard time with all of her subjects. Math is just about impossible, and it takes her forever to get going with her subjects and forever to finish them. As soon as something is the tiniest bit difficult, as in anything she doesn't already know by heart, she shuts down.

 

I don't know though. Did I mention I'm second guessing myself? I don't even know that I have any questions. I just feel completely overwhelmed right now. I feel like I should be able to tell for sure if my own dc has a problem or not.

 

Any advice?

[PeterPan]

Aimee, just to pick up on your posts on the logic board, did you keep this appointment? How did it go? You sounded pretty frustrated here.

 

That logic board thread was on accommodation and working with our kids. Here you mention she has a hard time getting going with her academics in the morning. Does she wake up like a bear? My dd has been like that for years, and I remember someone saying just to let her read for the first couple hours. Well it WORKED, but it cut into a good productive time for important subjects that needed to be done and made our whole day really late! And ironically now, years later, I've learned that simple OT exercises for sensory input, done the night before, can shift her stim level and get her going much better in the morning. See what I mean? Accommodation vs. solving the problem.

 

You mentioned ADD. ADD usually has a sensory component I think. See if your library has "The Out of Sync Child." In fact, that's actually what I'd suggest you do is start reading. Once you get in that section of your library you'll find plenty more to interest you. I pretty much grab anything that looks remotely close, even if I don't think the label applies. These problems and labels cross over so much, no need to be picky.

 

If you're frustrated, something is wrong. That's your mommy meter going off. It just takes time to sort through it, and a happy finding of someone (doc, OT, dev. opt, someone, anyone) who actually gets what is going on and can point you in the right direction. Once you find one, they can usually get you in the stream of the rest of what you need. Oh, and what you might do is think in terms of what is the most pressing problem. With my dd it was headaches from vision problems, so we started there. With some kids it might be sensory and the stim level. You just start somewhere. These therapists and whatnot do screening tests for other problems, so they may find the next thing and refer you off or give you the next lead. For instance it was our OT who said working memory was an issue. It was the VT doc who told us definitely to pursue OT. And so on.

 

I say if you don't know what to do, do sensory input, things you can do at home, for free to shift her. GO TO THE PARK. I mean seriously, the park is free and full of sensory input. Do you have a mini trampoline to jump on?

 

Then I would look at diet. Make some healthful changes there.

 

You can't go wrong with either of those while you're reading and deciding what to do.

[5LittleMonkeys]

OhElizabeth, thank you so much for taking time to help me. I feel like I am grasping at straws sometimes.

 

I briefly wrote in the other thread that we did not keep that appointment. I told dd that we had an appointment and told her that it was to find out about seeing if she had any type of disorder of LD that might be making things so difficult for her. She asked if there was something specific I thought she might have and I mentioned ADD Inattentive. She asked why I thought that and I showed her a list of some of the indicators. She got very upset (she is over emotional anyway) and started to tell me that she didn't have an LD or ADD and that she was purposefully making things difficult in an attempt to get me to let her out of doing those assignments that make her feel like she is suffocating. (Her words) The thing is, sometimes I do get the sense that she is purposefully dragging things out but other times I feel she really does just want to do the work but for some reason can't get her brain to focus and work. Anytime we do math she starts to complain of a headache within a few minutes. She does like to learn though and will spend copious amounts of time on her own interests. She has way more retention (almost perfect retention) in those things she chooses to learn about on her own but very little to no retention on subjects of my choosing. I asked her if tailoring her studies around topics she chooses herself would make things better for her and she said they would as long as I let her create her own plan for what she produces. I don't know if she is trying to snow me or not. She does produce a lot of stuff on her own. Lapbooks, little reports, stories, dioramas, writings in journals, labeled drawings, collages, etc.

 

So, now I'm afraid to even mention going to the doctor again. I don't know whether she is lying about intentionally being difficult because she is afraid to go to the doctor or because she has attached some stigma to ADD. Or maybe she isn't lying at all and really has been intentionally being difficult. Do you see the conundrum I am in. She has me so confused I don't know which way is up or down. All I know for sure is that when she is deep into her own project she is happy and engaged and the sparks are flying in that brain of hers. When she is doing MY school she is sad and quiet and quite dull and listless.

 

My plan right now is to shift our work around during the day. She has several projects (history and science related) that she wants to make part of school, that she is excited about working on. I'm going to let her run with these and see if she will produce enough on her own for me to use as models to work on skills with. For example using her report on tide pools to work on grammar\punctuation\composition (I can still use my R&S grammar as MY spine), then trying to use her literature choices to do literary discussions (nothing formal, just discussion about plot, setting, conflict, resolution, etc.) Then in the afternoon when the little ones are resting and the house is quiet we can work on math. I am remediating with MM right now and I just purchased a few math games which she is excited about doing. Then follow that with baking\sewing\art. This schedule, in comparison to basically school at home in the morning...sit down for math, sit down for grammar, sit down for Latin...you get the picture, is more conducive to her natural rhythm. In the mornings she is full of energy so the topics that excite her can be done then. She tends to be more relaxed and calm right after lunch so I thought that would be a good time to do the subject she has the most trouble with. Then her passions can be a nice end to the day and a reward for having made it through math. Latin and logic are going to have to wait for right now until we can find some harmony.

 

I don't suppose this is really as outside of the box as what some are doing but it is compared to what my other dc are doing and it is going to require more on my part.

 

I will check out the book recommendation. I would like to get your opinion on what to do about an evaluation. Should I go ahead and reschedule the appointment or give her some time and see what happens with our new plan and see if educating myself more will give me any more insights into what is going on with her?

 

Edited to add: The diet issue is a really good point that I hadn't even thought of. She has a sweet tooth and I have to be careful what I have in the house or she will eat sugar before anything else. We have had to resort to taking all of her baked goods to neighbors and family or she will eat the majority of it. I'm curious to see what behavior changes might occur if I create a more protein rich diet for her. Something that is woefully lacking in her food choices right now.

Edited January 22, 2011 by 5LittleMonkeys

[Corraleno]

Latin and logic are going to have to wait for right now until we can find some harmony.

FWIW, we dropped both of those subjects, as the frustration level would have more than cancelled out any benefit they may have had. Those two subjects are about as linear/logical as you can get. DH said that being forced to study Latin was the absolute worst part of his entire education — and he retained none of it, so it was all pretty pointless. We do Greek & Latin roots instead, and both kids study & play chess in lieu of doing logic. Do you think your DD might like something like chess? It teaches logical/critical/analytical thinking but in a visual, whole-to-parts way.

 

I will check out the book recommendation. I would like to get your opinion on what to do about an evaluation. Should I go ahead and reschedule the appointment or give her some time and see what happens with our new plan and see if educating myself more will give me any more insights into what is going on with her?

I'll give you my $.02, FWIW... I wouldn't schedule any evaluation until you've implemented the changes you mentioned (which sound like a great plan to me), and see how that works. You may find that the new way of doing things resolves most of your issues, and if there are any remaining issues, then you'll have a clearer and more focused idea of where they lie.

 

Edited to add: The diet issue is a really good point that I hadn't even thought of. She has a sweet tooth and I have to be careful what I have in the house or she will eat sugar before anything else. We have had to resort to taking all of her baked goods to neighbors and family or she will eat the majority of it. I'm curious to see what behavior changes might occur if I create a more protein rich diet for her. Something that is woefully lacking in her food choices right now.

Sugar definitely makes DS spacey. A good night's sleep, protein for breakfast, and fish oil supplements help a lot with focus. Also — has your DD hit puberty? Or is she close? At this age, distractibility and moodiness may just be normal hormonal changes, not signs of ADD.

 

Jackie

[RamonaQ]

I think your instinct tells you that there is some sort of LD and/or ADD. Ultimately, with or without a diagnosis, you will still need to figure out how to teach your daughter and figure out how she learns.

 

The only thing to having a diagnosis would be that it may help you discover other avenues that you may not have previously been aware would be effective, and it may provide you with support when you are feeling stuck with what to do. However, it is not time critical, it is available to you at any point.

[sheryl]

We have an appointment scheduled for Tue. with her pediatrician. I know this is just with the pedi. but now I'm having second thoughts. She exhibits some degree of most of the things they list as indicators but I still keep wondering if maybe its just her personality or her hormones or something.

 

It doesn't interfere with daily life because we've all just become accustomed to the way she is but school is getting harder and harder. She has such a hard time with all of her subjects. Math is just about impossible, and it takes her forever to get going with her subjects and forever to finish them. As soon as something is the tiniest bit difficult, as in anything she doesn't already know by heart, she shuts down.

 

I don't know though. Did I mention I'm second guessing myself? I don't even know that I have any questions. I just feel completely overwhelmed right now. I feel like I should be able to tell for sure if my own dc has a problem or not.

 

Any advice?

 

 

Aime,

 

I too have a 11 1/2 yo dd (she'll turn 12 in May). Like you I thought hormones, age, etc. But, hers WAS effecting her daily routine, family dynamics (some) and so on. She's been diagnosed with add, adhd and odd.

 

In a reply I made to another thread, I've come to realize that so many different issues "parrot" or mimic other ones. I'm not so sure she has odd now, but that she lacks in other areas that give her the add/adhd diagnosis. We stopped her odd med and she's doing better.

 

She takes 1-12.5 mg. of adderall generic once a day in the morning.

 

Recently she had a full sleep study performed and they found out she does not get into "steady" rem. Her rem cycles are up and down which is not optimal indicating a good night's sleep. So this stands to reason then, that her inattention, lack of processing/comprehension/recall, etc would be a result of poor sleep.

 

The neurol/sleep dr suggested going to the eent. We went in Nov/Dec and he said that my dd does have some congestion up in her nasal passageways that may prohibit her from breathing properly. If one isn't breathing through their nose properly then that contributes to tossing/turning and not a steady sleep.

 

Sure enough he prescribed flonase for her at the initial visit. She's been on it about 6 weeks and the difference is like b/t night and day. She's actually sleeping through the night and has told me she's had 2 dreams in the last week when she NEVER used to have dreams.

 

That tells us she IS sleeping. And, the quality of her sleep has improved. She doesn't wake up tired/sleepy and can function better doing schoolwork.

 

I don't know if this is the "only" fix needed to help her. And, I don't know if she's "helped" a 100% by it, but there is a DEFINATE improvement and I'll take a little bit I can get for her.

 

She is not as easily frustrated. She's more motivated, peaceful, etc.

 

Still with that said, she is going into the tween years and there just are issues to deal with in that age category.

 

HTH. Sheryl <><

[Guest]

I have read your posts both on this board and in the logic board. To be honest, what your dd is doing on her own sounds like a dream come true for a homeschooling parent. Like Jackie, I believe that processing and learning DIFFERENCES are not the same thing as learning DISABILITIES. If your child is reading, understanding what she reads, producing projects about what she learns, has interests she'd like to pursue further, that's magnificent.

 

My own feeling -- and it's just a feeling -- is that you're right about the sit-down, worksheet-based emphasis of her program not being a good fit. Your alternate plan sounds wonderfully tailored to your daughter's learnings. I'd keep the conventional worksheet stuff to a bare minimum, mix math up with games and activities, and see where this takes you over the course of a few months. As Jackie said, if substantial problems continue, you'll have a much better idea of where they lie.

 

Take a look at http://www.mathsolutions.com (but don't buy until you've checked your library; ours has a selection of the books).

 

We used the Math Replacement Units for much of middle elementary school, and the Algebraic Thinking books are wonderful. There's a program called Hands-On Equations which introduces kids (as young as 7 or 8) to the idea of balancing equations using pawns, dice, and a model of a balance scale, gradually moving from that to the formal written equation. You can do this just for fun, twenty or so minutes at a time, a couple of times a week. Peggy Kaye's book Games For Math (she also has Games For Writing, but it sounds as though your dd is self-motivated in that area) will take you up through fifth grade math with games that work on skills (again, check the library). My math-resistant dd loved a board game called Dino Math that uses simple word problems with basic computation involved. You don't have to abandon what you're using; just mix it up a bit and see how she takes to more activity-based math.

 

A child who is producing lapbooks, dioramas, and other material on her own, but who is reluctant or resistant student of more formal learning, does not necessarily have a learning disability. Don't panic about this right away, until you've given what she's asked for, and what you're planned, a good try.

[Tiramisu]

Aime,

 

I too have a 11 1/2 yo dd (she'll turn 12 in May). Like you I thought hormones, age, etc. But, hers WAS effecting her daily routine, family dynamics (some) and so on. She's been diagnosed with add, adhd and odd.

 

In a reply I made to another thread, I've come to realize that so many different issues "parrot" or mimic other ones. I'm not so sure she has odd now, but that she lacks in other areas that give her the add/adhd diagnosis. We stopped her odd med and she's doing better.

 

She takes 1-12.5 mg. of adderall generic once a day in the morning.

 

Recently she had a full sleep study performed and they found out she does not get into "steady" rem. Her rem cycles are up and down which is not optimal indicating a good night's sleep. So this stands to reason then, that her inattention, lack of processing/comprehension/recall, etc would be a result of poor sleep.

 

The neurol/sleep dr suggested going to the eent. We went in Nov/Dec and he said that my dd does have some congestion up in her nasal passageways that may prohibit her from breathing properly. If one isn't breathing through their nose properly then that contributes to tossing/turning and not a steady sleep.

 

Sure enough he prescribed flonase for her at the initial visit. She's been on it about 6 weeks and the difference is like b/t night and day. She's actually sleeping through the night and has told me she's had 2 dreams in the last week when she NEVER used to have dreams.

 

That tells us she IS sleeping. And, the quality of her sleep has improved. She doesn't wake up tired/sleepy and can function better doing schoolwork.

 

I don't know if this is the "only" fix needed to help her. And, I don't know if she's "helped" a 100% by it, but there is a DEFINATE improvement and I'll take a little bit I can get for her.

 

She is not as easily frustrated. She's more motivated, peaceful, etc.

 

Still with that said, she is going into the tween years and there just are issues to deal with in that age category.

 

HTH. Sheryl <><

 

I'm glad you've found some answers that are helping.:)

[5LittleMonkeys]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I've really been thinking hard on this and I think Correllano and KarenAnne are right about seeing where our new plans take us. I feel really good about them and so does she. I think a weight has been lifted off of both of our shoulders. I feel completely inspired by the "out of the box" thread and can't wait to see where this new attitude of mine will allow dd to go.

[PeterPan]

Aimee, I want to be very careful here, because I'm NOT trying to confuse you or leave you more frustrated... However I have a bit different take from some of the others. I'm all for changes in your homeschooling right now. I think the changes are pragmatic. But here's what else I see. You have a negative dynamic going on (something is wrong, you're frustrated, she's on edge, you think negative thoughts about her actions). To me that's a sign that SOMETHING is going on. This is not a nothing. Two, you said she gets headaches. I remember when we were at that stage, where dd was having headaches, and I thought she was doing the same thing. You should do a board search and read our posts from a year ago and see where we were. Lots of headaches. And for a while I too bought into the "you're doing it all wrong, if you would accomodate more and make it more fun she would like homeschooling better" routine. Now I'm off the guilt-trip. She had a PROBLEM. We solved the problem, and now the headaches are gone.

 

Now I want to say something else. KarenAnne's dd had a neuropscyh evaluation. Corraleno's ds had a neuropsych evaluation. So when they modify, they know WHY they're modifying. They know what it is they're dealing with, why they're modifying, and whether they had problems that needed to be treated or differences to start flowing with. There is a difference. Your dd *hasn't* been evaluated. Now I'm not sure if the ped was the ideal place to start. I guess the way insurance works they're sort of the gate-keepers. I want to tell you though that these practitioners, the really good ones, have a way of talking with the dc and opening them up. I've seen it happen with each of the people we've done evaluations with (SLP, VT doc and therapist, OT). It is never about calling them bad. In fact, it's very VALIDATING to the dc because the person evaluating speaks their language and can put into words things the dc is frustrated about. I mean it's not like this kid is HAPPY. She's frustrated, and she's doing what she can to deal with it. Probably part is volitional, part is stim level, part is something else (ADD, eyes, etc.). Has anyone told you that headaches and fatigue in the subject are actually a SIGN of the LD, that she's not making it up???

 

So basically you have to change the dynamic from one of feeling like she's being bad to trying to work together to give voice to her frustrations and symptoms. The more those come out, the more you can deal with them. Academic modifications alone probably won't solve your problems.

[Guest]

Two, you said she gets headaches. I remember when we were at that stage, where dd was having headaches, and I thought she was doing the same thing. You should do a board search and read our posts from a year ago and see where we were. Lots of headaches. And for a while I too bought into the "you're doing it all wrong, if you would accomodate more and make it more fun she would like homeschooling better" routine. Now I'm off the guilt-trip. She had a PROBLEM. We solved the problem, and now the headaches are gone.

 

Now I want to say something else. KarenAnne's dd had a neuropscyh evaluation. Corraleno's ds had a neuropsych evaluation. So when they modify, they know WHY they're modifying. They know what it is they're dealing with, why they're modifying, and whether they had problems that needed to be treated or differences to start flowing with. There is a difference. Your dd *hasn't* been evaluated. Now I'm not sure if the ped was the ideal place to start. I guess the way insurance works they're sort of the gate-keepers. I want to tell you though that these practitioners, the really good ones, have a way of talking with the dc and opening them up. I've seen it happen with each of the people we've done evaluations with (SLP, VT doc and therapist, OT). It is never about calling them bad. In fact, it's very VALIDATING to the dc because the person evaluating speaks their language and can put into words things the dc is frustrated about. I mean it's not like this kid is HAPPY. She's frustrated, and she's doing what she can to deal with it. Probably part is volitional, part is stim level, part is something else (ADD, eyes, etc.). Has anyone told you that headaches and fatigue in the subject are actually a SIGN of the LD, that she's not making it up???

 

 

I appreciate that you want to share what you've been through with your dd, Elizabeth, because it's been quite a process. However, my dd has headaches and enormous fatigue with math and only with math. That's not a vision problem or anything like. It's a reaction against the type of math we're doing, and if I knew any way to change it at this stage (geometry), I would. She never had headaches with math when we pursued a program more suited to her way of working, but that's something I don't know how to find at the high school level.

 

So yes, headaches CAN be related to a vision problem, ADD, or whatever, but they are not NECESSARILY related to a learning disability. I get headaches whenever I do our taxes. It all depends on when they occur, how frequently, etc. It can indeed simply be the result of disengagement, boredom, or some other kind of frustration that is not at all related to a deficit or disability.

 

And yes, dd has had a neuropsych evaluation; but I was doing things out of the box with her when she was four and a half, long, long before I suspected anything else was going on besides her very definite ideas about how she wanted to go about things, her creativity, and her excitement with games and joint learning. It's not all about disabilities, really it isn't. I appreciate that sometimes disabilities can accompany other kinds of neurological wiring; but that isn't always the case.

 

Since Aime's dd was able to articulate why SHE felt she was being frustrated and how she'd like to try things differently, I don't see why this isn't a perfectly valid and reasonable first step to take.

 

When you first uncover your own child's LD's, if she has any, it's easy to see LD's everywhere you look. That's entirely natural. But it's not always what really is going on.

[PeterPan]

You know what's really interesting about this whole headache discussion is that headaches can be connected to oxygen levels in the brain and stress. Not sure where I read that, sorry. So it's just interesting that Aime's dd uses a suffocating metaphor for her headaches. As the stress increases, the oxygen levels and bloodflow decreases in those specific parts of the brain.

 

My point was not that LD's are the only cause of headaches, but to address whether they (the headaches) were psychosomatic (a form of lying or avoidance, things Aime seemed specifically worried about) or might have a physical cause.

Edited January 23, 2011 by OhElizabeth

[Guest]

You know what's really interesting about this whole headache discussion is that headaches can be connected to oxygen levels in the brain and stress. Not sure where I read that, sorry. So it's just interesting that Aime's dd uses a suffocating metaphor for her headaches. As the stress increases, the oxygen levels and bloodflow decreases in those specific parts of the brain.

 

My point was not that LD's are the only cause of headaches, but to address whether they (the headaches) were psychosomatic (a form of lying or avoidance, things Aime seemed specifically worried about) or might have a physical cause.

 

They might indeed. And one way to discover this is to see whether they diminish with a change in approach and materials to be more in line with what the dd says she would like. It may be -- or not -- that the headaches disappear with a change in method and the resultant release of frustration and stress. Cheaper than a full-scale neurological evaluation at this point!

[5LittleMonkeys]

Dd's headaches are specific to math right now and I do think she gets them because she starts to get panicked about not being able to do the math. The panic causes her to breath irregularly (something she has done since she was very little when she gets upset) and then comes the headache. We played a math game this afternoon and guess what ... no headache or anxiety at all even though she was having to answer decimal and fraction questions which is where we had to stop with our regular math program because she just couldn't do it.

 

I've talked more to dd today about problems we've been having and she is opening up more and more each time we chat. Today she told me she feels pressured to keep up with her sister because we were doing a lot of their subjects together. She said she knew I didn't expect her to keep up but that each time dd13 finished a lesson before her or understood it more easily it made her feel inadequate. We also talked more about why she wasn't being honest about how she felt about the work. I asked her why she didn't tell me sooner and she said she wanted homeschooling to be easy for me because with 5 dc she knows its hard. She is afraid that if it gets to be too much I will send her back to ps. :crying: I felt awful...I actually started crying. I told her I would never give up on her...or any of the dc and the only way she would go back to ps is if it was what she wanted.

 

I'm not saying that we won't ever end up needing an evaluation but at this time I think we have some work to do before we can determine if that is the right course. I need to get her to a frame of mind where she feels she can stop comparing herself and start being honest with me. I need to get her back to happy and calm so I can see what is real problem and what isn't. I'm glad though that some started asking me if maybe she had ADD or an LD because that was what started me asking some difficult questions and really start digging for what was really going on. I am amazed that this child has lived with me for almost 12 years now and I feel like I'm getting to know a whole new person. I know if she were still in ps I wouldn't be getting this opportunity. A lot of good is coming from all this frustration. :001_smile:

[PeterPan]

Aime, this is very good! That's exactly what you should be doing! Feedback is a tricky thing. I started asking my dd for feedback when she was in K5, because I was very insecure. My dh felt this was a bad move and cautioned me against it, saying she ought to just do what she was given. I persisted (I guess none to my credit?) and she is indeed quite willing to be opinionated about stuff. It's sort of the two-edged sword that we homeschoolers try to avoid. It's a lot easier when they just do their work! But by this age they can separate out their volition from their problem and start expressing things. Now you two are working together as a team. Things will come out. It just takes time. Sounds like she has had a lot on her mind!

[rafiki]

.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I

 

Can you use different programs for the two of them so it's not so obvious?

 

Don't be afraid to come here for support either.

 

Yes, I am completely changing dd's schedule and what she will be using. She isn't going to be doing any of her subjects with her older sister at all and they are going to be using completely different programs with the exception of R&S grammar. But dd won't be actually working out of that book anymore...I'm just going to be using it as a spine to help me teach her grammar in context. :scared: Oh, gosh that scares me...I can do it though!

 

I'm not at all afraid to come here for support! You all are the reason I can keep going moving forward with this. :D

[PeterPan]

Aime, R&S has workbooks that are nice, or you can even do the work on a small lap-size whiteboard (or orally). We've done grammar and math that way for years. The colors of the dry erase markers are fun too...

 

Of course you can do this! :)

[Tiramisu]

I'm glad to hear that through these struggles you and dd are connecting more and that it's become an opportunity for mutual understanding. It sounds as though your dd is very sensitive. This sensitivity may affect all areas of her life, I'm only guessing because I have two like this. It is really important to have a curriculum that can tolerate and that a positive emtional environment is maintained at all costs. This is just my experience, but I've seen how things can free fall for dc when the curriculum doesn't fit and the emotional part is off-kilter (e.g., depression). My sensitive dd's soak up my emotional state and take it on. Part of that is inevitable, of course, but I also have to work hard to make sure I'm seeing the positive and giving a lot of good feedback. I fail all the time, and it's such a struggle because sometimes they really aren't behaving in the way that they should.

 

I read a book about ADD that I really didn't like but part of the author's premise is actually something my mother has said for years. He thinks ADD is the result of trauma that causes an underlying anxiety that comes out in ADD symptoms. Well, my dc didn't have any trauma, so, obviously, I thought, this guy is WRONG. But, actually, his idea of trauma is as benign as having the mom preoccupied and, possibly, not smiling at the baby every minute. (Well, with terrible colic that went on for five month, there may have been a minute or two that I didn't smile.) I rebelled at the idea, resenting that this could have been all my fault. In fact, I don't really believe it, but, at the same time, I do see that my most obvious ADD girls are the most highly senstive to everything, including me and how I am at any given moment. I'm ABSOLUTELY NOT telling you that you caused this but I'm extrapolating an idea of the author's and my own dear mother's, as well as what I read in your posts: your dd may be very sensitive and may have underlying anxiety, which can show itself in ADD symptoms. Her reaction to math and the headaches may be a sign of her sensitivity/anxiety. Her insecurities about her own abilities may also be part of it. I don't think you can change that easily (Oh, how I wish I could with mine!), but you can build her up. And, that is what's already happening because you've had the opportunity for her to really share with you things that you didn't know before, so you can reassure her and show her that you are willing to make changes to help her. Anyway, back to the author I don't like, he says you can cure "ADD" with love and attention, if there is anything correct in this, you are on the right track.

 

As far as an evauation goes, I'd think about it, because there are some little learning issues with one of my dds in addition to her sensitivity and anxiety. Ideally, I think it's best to know this going in to high school.

 

By the way, my oldest dd really settled once the hormones settled down.;)

[5LittleMonkeys]

Aime, R&S has workbooks that are nice, or you can even do the work on a small lap-size whiteboard (or orally). We've done grammar and math that way for years. The colors of the dry erase markers are fun too...

 

Of course you can do this! :)

 

Thanks for the encouragement Elizabeth. I have the workbooks and the whiteboards but because those things take grammar out of context it doesn't make sense to her and she can't make connections. What I'm talking about doing is taking her own writings; those that she knows intimately because she has already poured over them making them come as close as possible to her own thoughts and feelings, and showing her how to make them flow better, how to make them sound better, how to polish them so that others could read them and truly understand her exact meaning and feeling. (Which is always the goal of her artistic pursuits ... to share with others what is in her heart and mind.) When she writes its not much different than when she paints. She is trying to put herself onto the paper to share with others. When she paints she asks for help in getting the painting to look the way she has it pictured in her mind. We work on perspective, line, color, application...never on content (I never say..."paint this") and never out of context of the painting she is working on. In other words we don't put the painting aside and work on perspective on a separate canvas. I think I can do the same thing with writing. (And hopefully with math to a certain degree...but I'm still figuring that one out.) I hope I've explained it clearly, because sometimes its hard to explain it to myself. :tongue_smilie:

[5LittleMonkeys]

I'm glad to hear that through these struggles you and dd are connecting more and that it's become an opportunity for mutual understanding. It sounds as though your dd is very sensitive. This sensitivity may affect all areas of her life, I'm only guessing because I have two like this. It is really important to have a curriculum that can tolerate and that a positive emtional environment is maintained at all costs. This is just my experience, but I've seen how things can free fall for dc when the curriculum doesn't fit and the emotional part is off-kilter (e.g., depression). My sensitive dd's soak up my emotional state and take it on. Part of that is inevitable, of course, but I also have to work hard to make sure I'm seeing the positive and giving a lot of good feedback. I fail all the time, and it's such a struggle because sometimes they really aren't behaving in the way that they should.

 

;)

 

I agree with all of this. Especially the bold part. I have to keep reminding myself that her behavior isn't purposefully difficult and that she struggles with her emotions and quirks (and hormones right now). Her emotional state is tyed to mine in a scary way so I have to be so, so careful about carelessly throwing my emotions around. But, it's a good thing because if I can't learn to control my own, how do I expect her to control hers?

 

Thanks for the encouragement. It really helps me to cope when I know I have people here who are rooting for me!