kfeusse Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 My 10 year old daughter is perfectly happy and content to be by herself in her room, listening to music or audio book and crafting or reading a book. She could easily spend hours each day doing this. We have 2 boys also, and they play with each other a lot of the time...they all 3 play together sometimes...but they are sprts minded and my daughter isn't. So what I was wondering with her spending so much time in her room, are we creating a habit of isolating herself that we will regret as she ages?? Do we put a limit of how much time she can do that each day or not? Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Sounds fine to me. If she were in there being moody and was not able to enjoy dinner time or other family time, then I would say it was not good. But what you described, sounds just great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 She sounds introverted. As long as she's happy, I don't see anything wrong with spending hours in her room vs. socializing within her own family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Please leave her alone and let her enjoy. She's probably just an introvert. You can obviously still encourage her to participate in family time and time with friends, but some of us not only enjoy, but NEED solitude. And, speaking as an introvert myself, it's hard on introverts when the extroverts want to "fix" their desire for solitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kfeusse Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 thank you for your responses. I appreciate it. She is happy...perfectly happy and totally content. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Please leave her alone and let her enjoy. She's probably just an introvert. You can obviously still encourage her to participate in family time and time with friends, but some of us not only enjoy, but NEED solitude. And, speaking as an introvert myself, it's hard on introverts when the extroverts want to "fix" their desire for solitude. This. I'm an introvert. I'm tired of people making me be social. I like being left alone, and loved it as a child. I had my own imaginary world in my room, richer and much more interesting than what could be found in the living room! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I'm an introvert and my mother is an extrovert. I liked spending time alone, reading, listening to music, etc. This was especially helpful for me because I had a large family and needed the time alone. But my mother didn't understand this at all and took this behavior as some kind of direct commentary on how much I liked the family or something. She would come to my room and order me out of it, even when she didn't want me to do anything in particular. I would take my book with me and then I would have to read distracted by loudly playing children. :confused::confused: What was the point of that? So yeah, all that to say, no, I don't think it's a bad thing. If you want to check up on her, go to her room, sit down and have a chat every now and then. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Sounds fine to me. If she were in there being moody and was not able to enjoy dinner time or other family time, then I would say it was not good. But what you described, sounds just great. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micheller1 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 this is my 10 yo dd as well. She is sometimes sad that she doesn't have more friends but she is just "different" and I think she really just likes to be alone. We have 3 other daughters and even though they could BEG her to go play, she will say no. She would rather lay around reading. She honestly can go through 5 or 6 books in a week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 that was me as a child. I just needed the time alone. I am a pretty normal person I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This was exactly me growing up. It's only been since having kids and obviously not being able to do that, that I have changed. Trust me, it's a really good thing:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This was exactly me growing up. It's only been since having kids and obviously not being able to do that, that I have changed. Trust me, it's a really good thing:001_smile: Me, too, and :iagree:. Let her be who she is now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This. I'm an introvert. I'm tired of people making me be social. I like being left alone, and loved it as a child. I had my own imaginary world in my room, richer and much more interesting than what could be found in the living room! :iagree: I am still this way. I'd love an afternoon alone in my room! Doesn't happen as often these days. She sounds happy, I wouldn't worry about it at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah C. Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I was that 10yo. My grandmother said a recent family gathering that I've always been the one in a corner with a book, and it's true. :001_smile: It's not a bad thing, as long as she's happy! She's probably just an introvert. Also, large amounts of reading tends to have the side effect of making a person a pretty fast reader, which is quite beneficial for later academic pursuits. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 My 10 year old daughter is perfectly happy and content to be by herself in her room, listening to music or audio book and crafting or reading a book. She could easily spend hours each day doing this. We have 2 boys also, and they play with each other a lot of the time...they all 3 play together sometimes...but they are sprts minded and my daughter isn't. So what I was wondering with her spending so much time in her room, are we creating a habit of isolating herself that we will regret as she ages?? Do we put a limit of how much time she can do that each day or not? Thanks. I used to spend HOURS in my room painting, crafting and reading. I'm just an introvert and appreciated the quiet so I could concentrate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love2read Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I have a few like that and they're doing fine as young adults. I loved and love to be alone for hours, it's how some of us think and develop our sense about life and others. As long as she doesn't resist being around others from time to time I wouldn't worry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RecumbentHeart Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 gah! It's what I'd be doing if the children would let me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I chorus what many others have said: she sounds like an introvert and I was much like that at that age. My DD is NOT an introvert; time to herself without external entertainments (such as TV) is NOT what she enjoys; she's out every chance she gets playing with other kids. I liked to play with other kids as a child, including my sisters, but would also disappear into my room and/or a book until someone drew me out, and was perfectly happy doing so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 This was my youngest dd at that age. She is now 17 and still likes her quiet time. Dh and I never saw it as a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Please leave her alone and let her enjoy. She's probably just an introvert. You can obviously still encourage her to participate in family time and time with friends, but some of us not only enjoy, but NEED solitude. And, speaking as an introvert myself, it's hard on introverts when the extroverts want to "fix" their desire for solitude. :iagree: Introvert here too. Exactly what I did as a child. My ds leans towards the same thing. I only have a few suggestions. These are things I've recently observed about myself as we stayed with my parents for a few weeks this year. - Make sure you ask her to take part in family activities. I often get ds to help with dinner even if I don't need it, just for some non-school bonding time. - Make sure there is a bedtime routine. When we stayed with my parents I was surprised that they would just go to bed without saying goodnight. Honestly, even as a introvert it kind of hurt my feelings that they didn't knock on the bedroom door (where I was hibernating) to say goodnight. Don't know if that's applicable to your situation, but was just some of my recent observations about the habits of being an introvert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I'll be a voice of slight dissent on this one... agreed totally that she sounds like an introvert and it's totally healthy and normal for an introvert. I'm an introvert myself and alone time is really important. BUT... don't let her hole up every single day all the time. Don't expect much and don't let it become confrontational, but do encourage her to get out and see other kids or other people at least sometimes. It may be that she already totally gets plenty of that time - and you say she has siblings, so that's part of it too. But I'm saying this as an introvert. Really, the vast majority of us need at least a little social contact. Just be alert to her needs and always give her lots of time alone to recharge afterward - never be judgmental of her wanting to be alone. But you asked if it was a habit she would regret later in life and for me, again, as an introvert, if my mother hadn't gently pushed me out into the world when I was a kid, then I think I might have regretted that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest momk2000 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 that was me as a child. I just needed the time alone. I am a pretty normal person I guess. :iagree: Me too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Cornelia Snook Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I was that way as a child, and still am to a certain degree. Even in social situations, I am the one sitting quietly and listening, taking stock of things before I open my mouth. I'd give her opportunities to participate in social doings, but wouldn't berate her for wishing to join in. My family always called me "antisocial" when I was young because I'd prefer to stay home while they all went to a movie. Nowadays, when DH wants to go camping, I let him take the kids and go have fun while I enjoy the peace and quiet of the house, and relish not being needed by anyone for a day or two. I need that alone time, and I never get it any other way. That need is part of being an introvert, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 She sounds introverted. As long as she's happy, I don't see anything wrong with spending hours in her room vs. socializing within her own family. :iagree: My oldest dd was like this all her life until about two years ago, even as a baby. Now she's very social. I did have people tell me that it was unhealthy for her to spend so much time alone and that we should force her to come out, but I didn't agree. Probably because I was a little bit envious that she could be alone so much. INTROVERTS, UNITE! Or, um....don't. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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