Help! I'm bored, mid-winter ramblings, and do I need to change some things?

[Colleen in NS]

Hello,

 

I'm sure most of my ramblings are just due to mid-winter coopedupedness, but if you see something in here you want to address that would maybe give me a different perspective, feel free. I'm glad we have this new board to talk about logic stage.

 

OK, so. Every day, I sit on the couch with ds12 (almost 13) for about 1.5 hours, then dd10 for about the same amount of time. It used to be more, but dh took over doing math last week, so he does that plus piano plus chores with the kids in the mornings when he is here (while I cook/bake/budget/reserve books/run errands/pick up pieces/put out fires/cook and bake some more/etc.). I do language arts/Latin/logic/read alouds in the afternoons/evenings with the kids.

 

Anyway, the couch. I've had a routine for years of tutoring first ds, then dd, through their various skill subjects (math, grammar, Latin, logic, spelling, writing, handwriting, whatever they've needed each year). And because of ds' writing reluctance of a few years ago, I've done as much possible orally - so R&S grammar gets done orally (except for diagraming), VfCR oral, Latin (Latin to English translation) oral (English to Latin is done written, so he gets practice in writing in Latin), much math oral, etc.. Anything that I couldn't find a good reason to do written, gets done orally. I do the same with dd. It has been efficient; it helped us get skills work done quickly, and my kids didn't dawdle (as much) over independent written work, because there wasn't as much to do. But I made sure they were still learning the skills, and they are. Which is the whole point of doing this skill work, right?

 

But, I don't know if this is one of those mid-homeschool itches, but I am so bored of sitting on that couch every day (no, a change of location wouldn't help)!!! I get so antsy sitting there for at *least* three hours, going through all this stuff! The thing is, I am learning the skills alongside my oldest child, so in a way, sitting on the couch is good for me, because I learn as he does. Only he is getting impatient these days, because I hem and haw sometimes when I don't "get" something as quickly as he does (he's very quick-minded). I know, I know, I should be studying this stuff at night or during naptime so that I know it when I get to him, but sometimes I get so sick of being surrounded by having to learn academic skills that I should have learned a long time ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't WANT to have to sit there on the couch again at night time, learning skills ahead. It's easier for me to learn it with him during our tutoring time. At least I have someone to talk with about it, instead of wondering myself if I understand correctly.

 

However, ds is getting more antsy. I wonder if I should just forget about all this oral exercise business (in grammar, Latin, logic, vocab) anymore, and just go over quick things (like Latin flashcards, the gist of the Latin lesson, the oral review before you do the R&S grammar lesson, talk about his writing assignment that day) at the beginning of our afternoon, and then write out a list. Having him write out exercises might just take as long as us doing it orally, but at least *I* don't have to sit there, bored to tears!!! And I could tutor dd earlier, giving her more time for her independent work (some of which she can do while I tutor ds), and then maybe I could use the rest of that time, while they do their independent work, to study ahead, without feeling like I have to use other time in the day/evening to do that....and I could use my evenings to read instead, which I really need to do, too, if I'm going to have content to talk about with my kids.

 

OK, gotta go do grammar and dictation with dd...if I think of more things, I'll post them later...sorry if I sound like a crazy person - I'm just really bored right now. And tired of figuring out ways to get my kids efficiently through their skills work. To me, it should be efficient, so that we can have time for the interesting content reading/writing/talking. And to apply those skills to the content.

 

Thanks for any perspective you can offer.

 

EDIT: I've thought of a few more things. As for boredom, I have also recently tried knitting while sitting there looking at my various TMs and figuring out the answers while ds figures them out alongside me. I don't think knitting solves the problem. :D Getting up earlier to read or study ahead won't help - dh comes home later in the evenings and that's our only time alone. Yet my mind is usually fried by 8 p.m. when the kids go in their rooms, which is why I don't usually want to do skills study then. I guess I kinda hope to switch ds over to more written work on his own....though it could be a transition time, and could be stressful at first; I guess I'm hoping that I can help him see the benefits: he wouldn't get antsy sitting with me all that time, he could set his own pace for working (which I *hope* will be quick?!?!?!?!), he could feel more independent....how will I convince him of this?

 

I know kids need to get more independent sooner or later - like I said, it had to do with handwriting. But I haven't been in a rush to independent-ize him yet with this oral work...I figured we'd do that in high school, when a lot of this academic skills work will be "old hat" to him. But it's like all of a sudden, I am BORED and I am SICK of doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with me?????

Edited January 17, 2011 by Colleen in NS

[amyco]

"mid-winter coopedupedness" We have this in abundance here, lol! I think you have diagnosed part of the problem...

 

...but about your specific situation, the only thing I can think is maybe he has so much energy (and adolescent boy energy can be huge) he gets antsy much more quickly than he used to. It's not really a change of location, but what about having him just walk around the room while you are talking together? Would he be able to think and walk *and* talk at the same time?

 

Also, I have found with my dc at this age that as soon as they think they know something, they don't want to hear me talk about it anymore, or have me explain it anymore, or have to explain it to me. It seems like some days all I get in is the bare minimum before they want to be left alone to do their work. So, I let them, and then I help them if they ask, or else I have them explain their readings to me. Maybe you could let him try working on his own with the idea that if he doesn't get work done in a timely manner, you'll go back to the old way.

 

Is it time for a change of pace to break up the routine? Watching videos or something like that once in a while? Maybe dangle a carrot of extra video game time or baking cookies if they get their work done?

 

I hear you about not wanting to spend extra time at night doing school things. Believe me, I do. I'm right there with you. I wonder if your ds is picking up on your boredom? I wish I had lots of wisdom to give, I don't, really, but I do understand. :)

[Tammyla]

Ah, winter... We're there, doing that:glare:.

 

One little suggestion to preserve both your sanity and his, is to break up your couch time. Go over the lesson (in something easy for you) and send him to work on that single subject while you read through the harder or newer to your mind subject. Then begin again.

 

I think their minds are clicking away much faster than ours, and many are frustrated and distracted by more direction than they need. kwim? What you mention will also work, but don't let his independence be a punishment of sorts. He may be ready to work alone in some subject more than others. Find a balance and work from there.

 

You two will find your groove again. I'm busy here tweaking our schedule. I'm realizing my ds needs me know when he needs a push and is ready to do more on his own. Even if he grumbles...

 

Winter is a drag here too. I cannot wait for spring. Good luck...I must run and get dinner on the table.

[Kalmia]

We also spend hours on the couch. In spring, summer and fall I got an hour+ walk each evening, but lately it has been too cold and dark too early. I can see the difference in my attitude without my walk. I think my boredom is related to physical inactivity. I feel my body getting restless from disuse! This restlessness transfers to boredom and irritability. I have been trying to run up and down the stairs ten times every few hours, but it is nowhere near as rejuvenating as getting outside. See what you can do to up the activity level!

[Colleen in NS]

Well, it's after 8 p.m. here, and ds is still "writing out" his work - he has vocab left, and logic corrections. That we really should be talking about, instead of him doing and me correcting from an answer key. And he will have to do his writing assignment tomorrow a.m., instead of playing, while I shower. This just isn't going to work. It's just so much easier and faster to do this stuff orally.

 

...but about your specific situation, the only thing I can think is maybe he has so much energy (and adolescent boy energy can be huge) he gets antsy much more quickly than he used to. It's not really a change of location, but what about having him just walk around the room while you are talking together? Would he be able to think and walk *and* talk at the same time?

 

Also, I have found with my dc at this age that as soon as they think they know something, they don't want to hear me talk about it anymore, or have me explain it anymore, or have to explain it to me. It seems like some days all I get in is the bare minimum before they want to be left alone to do their work. So, I let them, and then I help them if they ask, or else I have them explain their readings to me. Maybe you could let him try working on his own with the idea that if he doesn't get work done in a timely manner, you'll go back to the old way.

 

Is it time for a change of pace to break up the routine? Watching videos or something like that once in a while? Maybe dangle a carrot of extra video game time or baking cookies if they get their work done?

 

I hear you about not wanting to spend extra time at night doing school things. Believe me, I do. I'm right there with you. I wonder if your ds is picking up on your boredom? I wish I had lots of wisdom to give, I don't, really, but I do understand. :)

 

Thanks for understanding my coopedupedness, lol!

 

Something I forgot to write in my OP is that TODAY he spent a couple of hours outside shovelling snow! He used up quite a bit of energy (that, yes, is usually in abundance - I try to send him outside for at least an hour a day) and was very tired. But by the time it was time for academic work, he was antsy again.

 

He is allowed to walk around while doing work with me, if he doesn't need to look at the book. He bounces on a big ball when he wants to, too.

 

We have been watching videos, too. Just can't do that during academic skills time, so we find other pockets of time, esp. on weekends. We are watching the astronomy course from TTC right now, and he loves it.

 

I think you're right about the not overexplaining or overtalking about something bit. That is definitely the case here. I try really hard not to! But sometimes I can tell that he doesn't get everything he needs to get.

 

One little suggestion to preserve both your sanity and his, is to break up your couch time. Go over the lesson (in something easy for you) and send him to work on that single subject while you read through the harder or newer to your mind subject. Then begin again.

 

I have thought in the past of doing this, but it just wouldn't work here. I can't coordinate it well enough with what my daughter needs from me - it would all just take longer each day. Overall, he doesn't mind sitting there and getting the me-n-him part done quickly before doing his independent work - it's just that some days, he gets antsy, and then I get antsy because I just want to be DONE already and send him off to finish! It used to be harder, but he isn't nearly as antsy as he used to be. Dd is antsy now, though, lol.

 

I think the hard part is that sometimes he gets a mind block, and won't go past that. It happened with logic today. No matter how hard I tried to make him see that I would talk him through every single step to find the answers, he wouldn't budge. Then he wouldn't budge on the other oral work. So he is still writing as of now....

 

I think their minds are clicking away much faster than ours, and many are frustrated and distracted by more direction than they need. kwim?

 

Yep

 

What you mention will also work, but don't let his independence be a punishment of sorts. He may be ready to work alone in some subject more than others. Find a balance and work from there.

 

I kept that in mind today - not to make it a punishment (although at first it was "OK, you won't do this orally, you can do it written). Then later I said, "Maybe you are ready to tackle this stuff written - maybe you WANT to do this work written, so you don't have to sit on the couch with me and be frustrated by my slower mind?" Well, after thinking about that as he plodded through his written work, he said, "No way, I hate doing all this written work!!! It takes too long!"

 

You two will find your groove again. I'm busy here tweaking our schedule. I'm realizing my ds needs me know when he needs a push and is ready to do more on his own. Even if he grumbles...

 

Winter is a drag here too. I cannot wait for spring. Good luck...I must run and get dinner on the table.

 

Thanks.

 

Yeah, I dunno. I hate to give him (and eventually, her) all this work to be written out - it's such a waste of time. But my *mind* is going to have to continually work to figure out how to convince them, at any given moment or stage in life/adolescence/growth spurts/hormonal surges, that I have the bigger picture in mind, that I know how to get this stuff done efficiently, that I know how to take their physical/emotional/spiritual needs into account (go get a snack - take a nap instead of reading today during quiet time - run around the house for 10 minutes - cuddle on my lap for a minute and tell me your troubles), and that I KNOW they will need these skills all their lives and that we WILL study them. Most days are really alright around here.

 

I'm just cooped up, can't open the windows for fresh air without paying for oil, and sick of sinking into the couch, lol. Help me cope with the couch! Maybe I should just keep knitting while looking at the books - I *can* get a few rows in here and there, which makes me feel a little bit better! And I do best at studying with my kids. And I do think they need me with them still.

Edited January 17, 2011 by Colleen in NS

[Colleen in NS]

I think my boredom is related to physical inactivity. I feel my body getting restless from disuse! This restlessness transfers to boredom and irritability.

 

Definitely true here. I have forced myself to get out for a 10 minute walk a few times this week. At one point I was up to an hour a day, but not for a few months now. It's hard now to make myself get out. This morning I shoveled a couple of sledding paths in the backyard, and I felt a little better after that. I have also been really tired. I guess it's the December descent into darkness that does it to me each year. Gotta pull myself out of it, without sinking too far into that couch!:lol:

[swimmermom3]

Colleen, I just found your post but it is bedtime as there is a 4:30am wake-up call for swim practice and Mom's gotta cook eggs. :grouphug:Sometimes you do need to shake things up and in middle school they are growing and changing faster than they can even mess up the kitchen. You have to adapt. And... don't tell but sometimes Mom is growing and changing right along with the kids and what was once satisfactory is so no longer.

[Janice in NJ]

Colleen,

 

I know you'll figure this one out. Try to think outside the box. And don't be too quick to judge - sometimes new routines take some settle time and/or require tweaking. Some of both? And sometimes they just need to be abandoned. Either way, you'll be a stronger team for trying.

 

Regardless of the box, it's hard NOT to get frustrated in January. This time of year can be incredibly mundane. Sometimes you just gotta hold steady. (I know it's TOUGH!)

 

Know that you'll be on my heart this afternoon. :001_smile:

Peace to you and yours this morning,

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

[Another Lynn]

Colleen,

Maybe there is a happy medium between more independence for your son and time-efficient tudoring on the couch? I can imagine a scenario, but I don't know for certain since I haven't used your logic program. So, take these thoughts with a grain of salt. What if you give him an assignment (and give yourself the same assignment).... something like 1) read the chapter 2) write out the answer to the first problem 3) read the rest of the questions to yourself and then report to me. While he's doing his assignment, you do the same thing. Come back together, go over the first problem and then do the rest together?

 

You could do something similar with other subjects, though it might be enough to change one thing at a time. But w/ R&S... you could assign the lesson, have him do the first 3 exercises on paper and report to you. You could go over his work and then do whatever more you wanted to cover orally.

 

Now, I realize the constant back and forth would not work well because you need to get to your dd as well. So, give these assignments with his other independent work and then meet with him later.

 

Finally, if it's any consolation.... The only reason I'm not fighting January boredom this year is because it has been a year of constant change. My ds is changing so quickly and I have spent the year one step behind. So, pat yourself on the back for your consistency!

[8filltheheart]

Would you consider flipping your approach? How about having your ds complete his work on his own and then meet with you for "conference" time. I do this with my 9th grader. He learns much faster than I. He would be completely bored and frustrated if I made him sit with me until I figured it out. He works on his own and then we meet and discuss. While discussing and his explaining to me, I am able to easily determine if he understands correctly or not. It takes a higher level of comprehension for him to "teach" me than to passively sit and listen to my lame explanations. :tongue_smilie:

 

I take varying approaches with different children with different topics. Some children require topics to be instructed prior to working; some don't.

[Colleen in NS]

sometimes Mom is growing and changing right along with the kids and what was once satisfactory is so no longer.

 

Yep. This is true.

 

I know you'll figure this one out. ....Either way, you'll be a stronger team for trying.

 

Know that you'll be on my heart this afternoon.

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

 

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Janice, and for continuing to type out your signature quote manually every time. I was thinking of you yesterday when I was typing about the couch, because I remember a really funny post of yours one time, where you described yourself either sinking into the couch or being glued to it or something, and forcing your every muscle to be still - you wouldn't even let your toe twitch, so that you wouldn't reveal your frustration/boredom to one of your kids whom you were working with that day - it was SOOO funny to me at the time, because I knew exactly what you meant! I practice that silent deep breath thing and not moving a muscle thing at times, too.

 

What if you give him an assignment (and give yourself the same assignment).... something like 1) read the chapter 2) write out the answer to the first problem 3) read the rest of the questions to yourself and then report to me. While he's doing his assignment, you do the same thing. Come back together, go over the first problem and then do the rest together?

 

I think both of my kids would get messed up if I did this - it would break up the time too much, and they'd get way off kilter - it's best that I speed them through their skills work. I think I'm going to just have to buckle myself to the couch and keep doing pretty much the same.

 

That said...I'm considering this:

 

Would you consider flipping your approach? How about having your ds complete his work on his own and then meet with you for "conference" time. I do this with my 9th grader. He learns much faster than I. He would be completely bored and frustrated if I made him sit with me until I figured it out. He works on his own and then we meet and discuss. While discussing and his explaining to me, I am able to easily determine if he understands correctly or not. It takes a higher level of comprehension for him to "teach" me than to passively sit and listen to my lame explanations. :tongue_smilie:

 

I take varying approaches with different children with different topics. Some children require topics to be instructed prior to working; some don't.

 

Wow, I never thought about this! 8FillTheHeart, you are brilliant!!!! So, do you mean that you send him to figure out a new skill/concept that you might not necessarily understand yourself, and then have him explain it to you until you get it, or until you can at least see that he understands clearly (but how would you know he understood, if you didn't understand completely?)? Am I understanding you correctly? I am going to think about this. But I wonder how I could do that, without loading him down with what I think can be unnecessary written work? I could maybe figure something out as I think about it over the next few days, but what do you think?

 

To those who have posted so far: thanks for your support. I think it's *mostly* Jan. coopedupedness, but some practical changes could help me. I think I also just wanted to get it "out there" how stuck and bored I was feeling yesterday, lol. I sometimes overwhelm myself with thoughts of how much I *don't* know yet (these now-I-realize basic academic skills!!!!), and with how many good books I *haven't* read yet, and how many new craft skills I want to learn now and don't have enough time for (time will come in a few years, I know - I'm not anxious for it, though), so I knit a row here and there and feast my eyes on library craft books and do what I can on weekends and evenings. :D

 

Happy January everyone. My coopedupedness seems to come to me earlier and earlier each year, arggghhhhh!!!!