Son driving me nuts

[Haiku]

Please help me. My son is making me crazy. He's a sweet kid, but he feels the need to comment on or ask questions about EVERYTHING I do. Any conversation I have with anyone else, he butts in to ask a question about it. Anything I look at on the computer, he runs over to have a look (in fact, if he is in another room and he hears me watching something on the computer, he will run in from the other room). If I pick up a book, he asks me what book it is, what it's about, and what I plan to do with it. If I head toward the bathroom, he asks me where I am going. If I talk to someone on the phone or text someone, he asks me who it is. He hangs out in the kitchen while I cook and asks me 40 questions about what I am doing. He will ask me 40 times what time we are leaving to go somewhere. He will ask me 40 times when it will be time to watch a certain tv show. He's making me absolutely crazy. Nothing I have said to him about it has had any effect.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

Sorry, this was supposed to be in the general forum.

 

Tara

[Hedgehog]

:grouphug: to you, because I know this would drive me nuts!

 

What I've done in the past, is one of two things depending on the child: I either treat it as an issue of disobedience and discipline accordingly, or, when I know I've already answered the question once, I simply say, "I've already told you/answered that. You should have listened more carefully the first time, because I don't choose to waste my breath." Then I ruthlessly ignore any repeat comments/questions. I think it's important to give your child fair warning of your plan of action, but after that I wouldn't feel any guilt over ignoring the patter. I have a very short fuse, and I will do a great deal to avoid losing my temper, because it's not pretty when I do.

 

HTH some!

[Guest CarolineUK]

My DS6 does this too, mostly when he's at a bit of a loose end, and for some reason I don't understand I find it completely exhausting. I try to be patient, but when my energy and patience have reached their limit I start by trying to direct him towards one of his brothers, either one of the older two to play with him, or ask him to do a puzzle or some drawing or something with DS3. If that doesn't work then I try to find some activity he can occupy himself with, preferably something constructive or educational. Sometimes it's enough to suggest he does some reading or something with me and he scoots off immediately :tongue_smilie:. I do find that after I've spent a good chunk of time doing something with just him, like reading, a craft or something, then he becomes a little less intense. Getting ratty and telling him off is the very last thing I'd do, because although it's irritating and exhausting, it's also lovely that he wants to be so involved in what I'm doing, and bizzarely, I know when I'm an old lady and on my own I'll probably remember it all fondly. It's a lot easier, of course, when the weather's better and the days are longer and you can just throw them outside. If I were to get completely desperate I'm afraid I'd resort to putting something on the TV that I knew he wouldn't be able to resist.

[Mallory]

In my experience, when my kids get on never ending question runs, they usually just want to spend time with me and talk, but they just can't figure out anything else to say.

 

What if you did some studying, together, about "How to have a conversation"? You could help him come up with some questions people like to talk about instead of the never ending "What are you doing? Why?"

 

When he starts on those questions you could give him a chance to come up with a more interesting question, because you'd like to talk to him, not be interrogated about what you are doing.

 

Some ideas-

Either or questions seem to work good for younger kids- do you like pancakes or waffles?

 

As do what is your favorite- what is your favorite dinosaur?

 

Books you have read make good topics, or movies, or food. As long as they are nice discussions, not interragations ;)

[johnandtinagilbert]

I'd plan a sit down time. Right now I am talking on the phone to a friend. I will give you some time in 20 min. Can you set the timer for me? Until then, please sit down and read a book or do some Lego building.

 

Mine usually act like this when they want some attention. Sometimes I just need the breather, so if I make them understand their turn is coming, it usually sets us both free!

[HS Mom in NC]

Mine is 5 and she wants constant input and seems to think it's my job to provide it. Since she does not pick up on subtleties, I have to be very blunt with her. After I have chatted with her and/or played with her for quite a while I say, "OK. It's now time for you to go entertain yourself." If she comes back a few minutes later I say, "I'm not going to chat with you now. Go find something to do." If she hangs around waiting for me to engage her, I say something like, "If you don't go find something to do, I will decide what you will do." I have no problem telling my children "You have been talking non-stop for half an hour. It's time to be quiet for a while." I have to prepare them for the real world, and in the real world people don't like this kind of behavior.