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Did you tend to run errands with them or do more in the evenings or other times when dh is available?

 

I have a 2yo who is a tornado in a store. :glare: Somehow every store is an opportunity to run amuk and then tackle the older siblings. :001_huh: Yes, I do work very had on disciplining this child. He's very spirited though and not much discourages him. Sigh.

 

So, I've been leaving a lot of the errands until evening when dh is home and we can do them together or only one of us will go out. In some ways I like this because it gives us more freedom to enjoy down time at home during the day rather than having to drag all the kids from store to store. OTOH, I'm starting to think I'm wimping out by not doing these sorts of things myself.

 

Dh doesn't mind and he's no fan of taking all the kids out on his owne either so that's not an issue. I just can't shake the feeling that perhaps I'm less of a housewife because I don't do all the running around by myself during the day.

 

I really would do it if it weren't for this 2yo of mine, but I guess I've been saying this for the last year and by the looks of things this coming year isn't going to be any easier with him. :glare:

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I think when ds was two we would go where he could be contained, like in a cart. He was pretty decent about staying in said cart. But there were some places and times I knew should be avoided during the day. You are not less than because you don't run errands during the day.

 

Take your evenings, enjoy your freedom!

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Personally, I have never had the luxury of waiting to run errands when my husband is home because he works two jobs and the kids often have extracurricular activities in the evenings. I also prefer that our family time be spent together if my husband is home--in other words, I want our limited time together to be spent as quality time. Because I do in-home childcare, I almost always have at least 1 extra preschooler if we go out during the day. From the beginning, I have tried to teach the little ones that they are expected to be in the stroller (when they are very small), or buckled in to a shopping cart (at a grocery store). In order to make things go more smoothly, I try to make sure I am organized before we head out---with a plan of which errands to run, grocery list & coupons ready. I also make sure the little ones are not exhausted or starving. If it helps, I've been known to bring them a light snack or a small toy to play with. I try to keep our errands short in length--after all, we can't expect toddlers/preschoolers to have long attention spans!

 

I hope you can find a system that works well for your family!

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as a friend with 4 kids told me 'problems I don't need, I don't ask for"

 

In other words, I do not take my children to stores or malls or any place like that. Heck, half the time I dont take them to the library. I should add they are now 10 and 5, lol.

 

It makes my life easier. Daddy comes home and mommy goes out.

 

I don't get asked for stuff, I don't deal with tantrums in the store. I just don't.

 

I see half the moms I know in the supermarket at 9:30pm. It's like a little reunion.

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I did not run errands with my toddlers. I would wait until my husband's schedule allowed him to be home. Of course, for MANY years we only had one vehicle so I didn't have much choice about when I could go out.

 

We have two vehicles now, but I still don't always run errands with my children. :001_smile: Sometimes, it's just about me getting the stuff done quickly and preserving my sanity.

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DH, being military, is gone all the time and when he is home - works odd (and very long) hours.

My DSs are 14 months apart - so for a while, it took a lot of courage to leave the house :) Actually, though - the more we did, the easier it became and the better they behaved.

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I have a very spirited dd and we also save our errands for evenings or weekends because honestly she can't stay. I honestly feel like it is the best way to save our sanity because we would just end up walking out of the store every time we went without anything if we took her with us. We do occasionally take her in order to help her learn what she needs to do but not when it is important to actually get something.

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I have a very spirited dd and we also save our errands for evenings or weekends because honestly she can't stay. I honestly feel like it is the best way to save our sanity because we would just end up walking out of the store every time we went without anything if we took her with us. We do occasionally take her in order to help her learn what she needs to do but not when it is important to actually get something.

 

Spirited DD here too. When I could I left her at home. When I couldn't, I girded my loins and just got what I needed and went home. She's 3.5 now and easier to manage in stores. She "helps" me get things - tomatoes, potatoes, yogurt. If she has a job it's a lot easier.

 

But at 2 - yeah, I tried to leave her at home as much as possible.

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I think you and I have posted on a lot of the same 'crazy toddler' threads, lol.

 

Don't feel bad. What good would it do to get all the errands done during the day and exhaust yourself and be really stressed out by the time your husband gets home?

 

For what it's worth, I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I don't usually take my toddler anywhere further than the backyard by myself right now. My hips and pelvis are really acting up and the toddler is now about ten times faster than me. But I avoided errands alone with him well before this. We all go together and share toddler-wrangling duties, or one of us goes alone. Or sometimes my husband will take both kids out to run errands by himself. Apparently he thinks he's superman...until he comes home exhausted. :lol:

 

If you do really want/need to run errands with him on your own, I suggest a zero-tolerance stroller policy. My kid gets one chance to walk nicely holding my hand or his sister's - if he lets go or runs off, he goes in the stroller. I don't care if he screams his head off (I remember when I had my first, delightfully behaved child and would have been SO EMBARRASSED by her having a fit in public, LOL...those days are long gone). He's way too fast, way too destructive and I'm scared of losing him somewhere.

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I think you and I have posted on a lot of the same 'crazy toddler' threads, lol.

 

Don't feel bad. What good would it do to get all the errands done during the day and exhaust yourself and be really stressed out by the time your husband gets home?

 

For what it's worth, I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I don't usually take my toddler anywhere further than the backyard by myself right now. My hips and pelvis are really acting up and the toddler is now about ten times faster than me. But I avoided errands alone with him well before this. We all go together and share toddler-wrangling duties, or one of us goes alone. Or sometimes my husband will take both kids out to run errands by himself. Apparently he thinks he's superman...until he comes home exhausted. :lol:

 

If you do really want/need to run errands with him on your own, I suggest a zero-tolerance stroller policy. My kid gets one chance to walk nicely holding my hand or his sister's - if he lets go or runs off, he goes in the stroller. I don't care if he screams his head off (I remember when I had my first, delightfully behaved child and would have been SO EMBARRASSED by her having a fit in public, LOL...those days are long gone). He's way too fast, way too destructive and I'm scared of losing him somewhere.

 

Oh, I have a zero tolerance stroller policy in place. You're better than me... I don't even give mine a chance- it's straight from the car seat to the stroller until we're through the check-out line. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thing is, the screaming from the stroller does get to me. As do the leaning-completely-to-the-side-and-trying-to-hurl-self-out-of-stroller-gymnastics that take place through every isle. :glare:

 

Seriously... even my other kids get embarrassed going out with him. :001_huh::lol::lol:

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I agree with the "don't take on a problem you don't have time for" comment. If Dh will stay home with the tornado - then let him! Go on and go by yourself. If you want take another kid with you. He won't be 2 forever and then you'll be shoppin' it up with the kids whenever you want.

FWIW, I have 2 like that and a calm one....I always made the wild one stay in the cart and no exceptions....I did use the "you scream we leave" 2 times and it seemed to make an impression - ds screamed bloody murder at the tiny rural PA market we were at - I told him that if he did that we'd leave and he'd be in his room ALL DAY LONG! We got home around 11am and I calmly escorted him in and he kept up the screaming for about oh let's say....3 hours! ( we had no near neighbors and he was just sitting by his door yelling so I felt ok letting him - if he wanted to holler - go for it, it's not hurtinghim) I calmly (inside I was falling apart) took him out for potty breaks and lunch and put him right back in again, reminding him we don't scream at the store...anyhow, it worked. He exhausted himsself and the shopping experience was infinitly better - I just would ask "do you want to be your room all day again?" Ha! The other one tried it and got the same. YMMV

 

Michele

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I just can't shake the feeling that perhaps I'm less of a housewife because I don't do all the running around by myself during the day.

 

I really would do it if it weren't for this 2yo of mine, but I guess I've been saying this for the last year and by the looks of things this coming year isn't going to be any easier with him. :glare:

 

My youngest will be 5 in March and I have just started taking him on the occasional errand with me.

I felt I was doing the community a service by leaving him at home these past few years. :tongue_smilie:

Do what keeps you sane.

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Both my younger kids are very high spirited and have poor impulse control (which we work on daily). I will not take them to the grocery store unless it's just to pick up a couple very needed items, I do not take them to the mall, I won't take them to the library unless its just to pick up books on hold.

 

I have the advantage of a teenager who can stay home with them (when she's available which isn't much) so I can run a quick errand.

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I took all mine with me. I really didn't have any other choice. For screamers, well too bad. They could scream all they wanted. I ignored. (Sorry to all those in the store. I really had rather not, but I need food.) The runners were on a harness or in the buggy. The climber-outers were harnessed into the buggy or stroller. I really don't care what other people thought. I had 4 kids in 4 years. I had to do some shopping, and we had to have food. I went. I did. I went home. Sometimes, I even left the house with all of them because I just wanted to get out of it for a while.

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I take them with me because I have no choice, but wow does going to the store by myself in the evenings sound great. I certainly would be able to shop more carefully, that's for sure.

 

And did I ever post about the time this summer when my then-2.5yo pitched a total fit in the public library and two different librarians came over to reprimand me ("SHH! SHH! There are people working here!") while I was struggling to get out the door with him, his brother, my giant pregnant belly, and the books? The episode culminated with my dumping all the books on a shelf (which of course made my 5yo start to cry, too) declaring, "I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN!" and stomping out. Good times.

 

Don't be a hero. Enjoy the solo shopping.

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Oh, I have a zero tolerance stroller policy in place. You're better than me... I don't even give mine a chance- it's straight from the car seat to the stroller until we're through the check-out line. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thing is, the screaming from the stroller does get to me. As do the leaning-completely-to-the-side-and-trying-to-hurl-self-out-of-stroller-gymnastics that take place through every isle. :glare:

 

Seriously... even my other kids get embarrassed going out with him. :001_huh::lol::lol:

 

By 'I don't care' if he screams I mostly meant I'm not going to let him out...it does get to me too (which is why I run errands with him so rarely, lol). I HATE screaming, and this kid has been a screamer from birth. :svengo:

 

You have my total sympathy...and I think you should continue shopping alone, guilt-free! :grouphug:

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Mine are 3 & 5 and I go grocery shopping at night. I don't mind taking them on other errands, but with my grocery shopping, I am very meticulous. I have X amount of cash on hand and need to spend exactly that amount. I am often pulled over to the side of the store with my calculator adding up what I have in my cart. Taking the kids does not work for me when I do this. Now on the rare occasion that my dh says, go get what you need for Thanksgiving dinner, I take them. But when I need to think, NO.

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I don't like to go out in the evenings, especially in the winter when it's dark, so I always do errands during the day. I do it the was someone else said, keeping the little one contained to a cart or stroller. Ds is now 3.5yo and I still put him in the cart at the grocery store a lot. For some reason dd can't seem to behave when her brother is walking around with her. :glare:

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Depends upon the toddler... When it was just the oldest 2 dh and I divided and conquered when we could because #1 caused problems when he left the house, and #2 caused problems at home. Who ever was staying home kept #1, and who ever was leaving took #2. ;) I did stop shopping at one grocery store because something about it would set #1 off every single time, and started shopping at the slightly more expensive store that would offer to help me if needed. #1 never did throw a fit there. :confused:

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I took mine with me most of the time because I didn't have a choice. Dh worked long hours and was rarely around to help.

 

But I did go run as many errands as possible on the days or evenings when he would be home (and not sleeping from overnight shifts).

 

Ds6 has sensory seeking SPD and it was clearly evident when he was a toddler. I would literally have to carry him out of places kicking and screaming. When I was super big and pregnant with ds4, I finally just quit going out unless it was an extreme emergency.

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Dh doesn't mind and he's no fan of taking all the kids out on his own either so that's not an issue. I just can't shake the feeling that perhaps I'm less of a housewife because I don't do all the running around by myself during the day.

Your dc have two parents. There's not a thing wrong with your dh taking his turn with his own dc so you can do errands more efficiently.:)

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I have a 2yo boy and a 4yo boy...two tornadoes! The 4yo knows better, and for the most part can be well behaved, but putting the two of them together is hard. They feed off one another! I will run errands with the kids all together if I absolutely have to, but if I dont...I am not going to!:lol: I go to town on Sat as DD has ballet, so I take her with me shopping since we are already in town, but I leave all tornadoes at home! She behaves very well in the store.

 

Another reason I prefer to shop without the kids is that I make several stops when I shop. We live in the country, so when I go to town I go several places to get all the errands I can, done. My 3 kids are all still in carseats. It is a huge pain in the rear and I spend a lot of time buckling and unbuckling carseats at every stop! Plus it rains here a ton, so then I am soaked from standing in the rain dealing with carseats. Did I mention I prefer to shop without the kids?:D

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I prefer to run errands and shop without children. If I must take them, I try to limit the trip to two stops. They are generally well behaved in public, but tend to dawdle. I want to get in, get what I need, and get out. Then there is the whole car seat and "I want to do it myself" issue.

 

At least once a month, I spend Saturday running to 5 or 6 stores while dh stays home with the children. He has no interest in accompanying me on a shopping marathon.

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When mine were little I had to....dh worked offshore...there was no one else to shop or we would starve. I used a stroller and a cart. (8yo walked, 3 yo cart and 1 yo in the stroller that the 8 yo pushed). There were many a time we just had to leave....go out to the van....deal with the attitude and return to our shopping. I just made sure that I got the refrigerated stuff last. Sometimes we just went home and tried again on another day.

 

However.....if I had help I sure wouldn't shop with them, KWIM?

 

Now my 15 yo (the previously mentioned 3yo that threw HORRIBLE fits) stays home and watches the 11yo and 7yo while I run errands...in fact I'm about to go do some right now.

 

I like to preserve what little sanity I have left. :D I also find that shopping alone saves me MONEY & TIME!!!!! :D:D

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Mine are 3 & 5 and I go grocery shopping at night. I don't mind taking them on other errands, but with my grocery shopping, I am very meticulous. I have X amount of cash on hand and need to spend exactly that amount. I am often pulled over to the side of the store with my calculator adding up what I have in my cart. Taking the kids does not work for me when I do this. Now on the rare occasion that my dh says, go get what you need for Thanksgiving dinner, I take them. But when I need to think, NO.

 

I'm a cash-and-calculator grocery shopper too, and up until this point... shopping with two little ones has been fine. But now the 2.5 year old is itching for more independence, and the 15-month-old is not content to just sit and stare at pretty lights. Last time I tried to take them to the grocery store and add things up, I had half-eaten things in the cart, smashed bread, extra fancy cheeses that I know I didn't put there, and lemons shoved under the kids' seats (race car cart) that ended up getting shoplifted and not discovered until I got both kids strapped in their car seats. I had to haul those two BACK in the store to pay for them and apologize. Toys and snacks are no longer enough to contain the chaos.

 

Now, I go alone or take DH. If it's a quick trip, he stays in the car and lets the boys play Angry Birds on his iPhone. If not, we all go in. Yes, I do feel a little bad sometimes because DH has been gone all day, stressed out at work, and then I have to drag him out to contain toddlers while I compare price per ounce on grocery items. I think I feel most bad about bargain shopping, when we could afford a higher grocery budget in exchange for spending less time comparing prices, writing a menu, and clipping coupons. Add in the childcare aspect... and yeah, I feel like I'm making demands.

 

I do bribe DH with a soda from QT and quality beer.

 

That all being said, I had to make a Walmart run during the day before the snow hit earlier this week, and the 2.5-year-old's cloth diaper fell off and got bunched up in his pant leg. Seeing him walk through the store, trying to hold his diaper against his knee, was a riot. Trying to fix the diaper and keep the 15-month old from playing in bathroom stalls? Not nearly as funny.

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I take my toddler with me, but usually when I have the toddler and the boys my dh is with me. But I make sure my toddler is either in a cart, a stroller, or a backpack carrier. Taking her places where she can run free would make shopping very difficult even if my husband was with me.

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DH, being military, is gone all the time and when he is home - works odd (and very long) hours.

My DSs are 14 months apart - so for a while, it took a lot of courage to leave the house :) Actually, though - the more we did, the easier it became and the better they behaved.

 

Ditto, except I have 3 and they are 2 1/2 years apart.

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Did you tend to run errands with them or do more in the evenings or other times when dh is available?

 

I have a 2yo who is a tornado in a store. :glare: Somehow every store is an opportunity to run amuk and then tackle the older siblings. :001_huh: Yes, I do work very had on disciplining this child. He's very spirited though and not much discourages him. Sigh.

 

So, I've been leaving a lot of the errands until evening when dh is home and we can do them together or only one of us will go out. In some ways I like this because it gives us more freedom to enjoy down time at home during the day rather than having to drag all the kids from store to store. OTOH, I'm starting to think I'm wimping out by not doing these sorts of things myself.

 

Dh doesn't mind and he's no fan of taking all the kids out on his owne either so that's not an issue. I just can't shake the feeling that perhaps I'm less of a housewife because I don't do all the running around by myself during the day.

 

I really would do it if it weren't for this 2yo of mine, but I guess I've been saying this for the last year and by the looks of things this coming year isn't going to be any easier with him. :glare:

 

How would needless suffering make you a better housewife? Just a less sane one, in my book!

 

We NEVER take the kiddos on any trip that isn't necessary for them:

1) good to have time with the other parent (they have 2 parents you know, and need time with both ;)); and good for the shopper to get out by themselves (faster, more relaxed);

2) car accidents is a (in some ages THE) leading cause of death of children -- we religiously put our infants to sleep on their backs to reduce a ~1 in 2,000 risk of SIDS by half; yet suggest reducing how much time they spend in the car is like sacrilege. But it's simple: less miles = less risk.

3) reduction of colds and flus -- until a child has something resembling basic hygiene (like not licking the cart :tongue_smilie:), I don't like to take them anywhere. When we take them out it seems like at least 1 in 4 trips ends up with an illness. 2 kids are prone to febrile seizures, so no fun, and since a cold virus mutation is only on earth for 5 years on average, the idea that you'll get it "sooner of later" is just bunk. We're designed to live in small isolated groups, not this massive germ-swap of modern life! :lol: I'm not a germaphobe, but prefer wiping up a minimum quantity of snot and vomit, and I tend to feel GUILTY when the kids are sick out of an avoidable outing since it was my decision to put them at risk.

 

Anyway, just a few reasons you might actually want to feel GOOD about not shlepping them thru the stores with you! :D

Edited by ChandlerMom
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What? You feel like you might be wimping out? No, no! It's just errands, nothing that says you are or are not a good housewife! Shoot, you gotta do what works for you. I sure as heck don't enjoy taking the kids with me when I run errands. When I have 2 or 3 of them with me, I definitely avoid it!

 

I guess I've almost sort of felt guilty the other way around! Like I shouldn't be dragging the kids around doing errands, but should be home reading to them or playing a game or even cleaning the house!

 

Sounds like it works well to do it in the evening for you - I'd continue that plan!

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