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This trend of "homeschooling" prek-K but not other ages


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I think that as preschool is becoming more and more "pre-kindergarten" and is becoming more academic, with an increased focus on literacy and numeracy instead of art, playtime, and social skills, then it is coming to be seen more and more as "school." In many areas, Pre-K seems to be standard, and not doing anything as prep for school doesn't seem like an option.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that in this educational climate, it makes sense to me that you'll find people talking about homeschooling their four year olds, although I don't think this way much at all.

 

Yes, I had to start saying that I was homeschooling my 4 year-old because otherwise I would get a ton of questions about Pre-K and what I was going to do about school readiness. Even just saying "we plan to homeschool" would disturb some people who think that a child that age should be doing something formal.

 

It doesn't help that my son is above the 95th percentile for height and speaks well for his age. People look at him and immediately think Kindergartner even though he wouldn't start public K until Sept 2012.

 

Saying I homeschool heads off a lot of questions in polite conversation even though the things I do are pretty typical mom stuff.

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When Doodle was pre-k age, we were excluded from a homeschool co-op (which had a pre-k class) because Doodle did not have an older sibling in the co-op. Doodle is an only child. I felt very unwelcomed by the local homeschool community. I knew I wanted to homeschool and therefore was looking to connect with other homeschool children his age. The Mom's group we had belong to no longer had kids in his age. The mom's all dropped out once their kids were enrolled in pre-k. We were alone. I was sad. Please don't exclude a potential member just because they do not have an older sibling. I could have been a valuable member to that co-op. They had a pre-k class. They needed adult help in that pre-k class. I could have been that help since I have no older children to attend to. I would have been in that pre-k class with Doodle.

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I'm wondering if there is minimal parental involvement expected of these families, they know it, and it's really just an alternative to preschool. Perhaps they have absolutely no intention of homeschooling in the first place and basically lie to be allowed to join? If it's cheaper than preschool and they have to do barely anything, then it probably attracts those families.

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I can see that some families might take advantage of a great situation, however, our experience is of wanting to be involved in a co-op (no drop-off, would be family involvement on site) with our 3 preschoolers but not being able to join because we have no children of school age. I understand it (due to space limitations and wanting to maintain a "homeschool" community), but it's frustrating to me because we are planning on homeschooling and want to find a "homeschooling community" for support and encouragement and mentoring. They told us that there are plenty of local playgroups for pre-school aged children. Yes, but unfortunately in our community it is very rare to have preschoolers not in private preschool. So, most of our little friends are in "school" during the mornings here. So, I have sought out (through trial and error) other families who are planning to homeschool and try to get together on occasion; trying to build our own little support group of sorts.

I would love to be part of a homeschool co-op, but most won't allow it until my oldest is "official" school age.

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I don't mean to start a feud or anything, but really, didn't "homeschooling in pre-K" used to just be called "being a mom"?

 

I was in this camp, too, until my oldest son turned 3 and started being asked constantly where he went to school, why he wasn't in school, etc. (One memorable time, when he was 4, someone actually asked him ON THE STREET whether he was 'playing hooky.') I used to say, "Oh, he's at home with me," but that was frequently interpreted as meaning that I had somehow missed the memo that children his age generally went to preschool. And, more importantly, my son wanted to know why everyone else was in school and he wasn't.

 

So I told him he was homeschooled, and he was very happy to have a concrete answer to give all those folks asking him about "big boy school." It had nothing whatsoever to do with what we were -- or weren't -- doing at home.

 

I find the older sibling requirement mildly funny, because that's essentially what some of the most selective private preschools around here do, too. Supply and demand, I suppose. It would be such a bummer not to be able to participate in homeschool activities with an oldest child, though.

Edited by JennyD
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Since we don't belong to groups, I can't say I've run into your problem. But it reminds me of my question of when does parenting/raising your kids/living become homeschooling?

 

In the sense that I've heard people say they homeschooled for 8 years then their oldest started 3rd grade at public school. Huh? Or some variation of that. Homeschooling for 12 years...and the oldest kid is 12.

 

I am not the homeschooling police...but I wonder how you can homeschool an infant?

 

I would say the baby was in "nursing" school. ;) (I am with you on this! I don't understand those numbers either!) :D

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I was also one of those moms who joined a co-op with my oldest as a pre-k. I am so glad they let me join. We had just moved here and I got involved with a preschool moms group, which was great for my 2yr old, but my poor 4yr old had no one to play with. All the other 4yr olds were at preschool. I definately didn't plan to "homeschool" pre-k, but when everyone else is at "school" at 4, it becomes the expectation. You have to have an answer for what school your child goes to. Without the co-op I don't really know where I would have found playmates for him.

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I think there is a great need for playgroups and support groups for families with preschoolers who intend on homeschooling. I facilitate a large co-op, and while I haven't encountered the OP's problem of families homeschooling "only" for preschool, we do run into a sizable number of families with very young children looking join our group. In our case it truly comes down to a numbers game. We are limited by the facility where we meet to a certain number of children, and the focus of our group is to provide classes for school aged children. Our preschool program is mainly a place to keep younger siblings occupied so that the parents can help out in the classes.

 

I think parents are drawn to this model because as their children are approaching school-age, it sort of gives them a chance to participate in "school-lite." The kids go to class once a week with other kids their age, they have a teacher, hear stories, sing songs, do recess and parties, etc. These things are great and fun and all of that, but really so unnecessary when the kids are very young.

 

I would love to be able to give the parents of preschoolers the opportunity to have the support and community of a group without the commitment and pressure of a co-op. Sometimes I think all that they really need is the opportunity to meet each other and start a group of their own. That's how our group started, years ago--just for playdates and park days for our young children. We're so big now and space is so limited that we have to turn away not just preschool-only families, but also families of whom the oldest child is just 2nd or 3rd grade. Homeschooling is big in my community, and there's a need for more groups supporting homeschoolers of all ages.

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The groups I tried to get into when my oldest was 4 were the same. She had to be school age or have an older sib in the groups to do the preschool stuff. Now that my kids are older, I understand why. Like the problem the OP is having, it is an issue when you are trying to find a homeschool group for your young child. A 5 yr old who sees all of his friends going off to K and he isn't feels left out. A hs group is a place for the kids to connect with others like themselves who will not be going IMO. Apparantly the groups that I joined had this problem too.

 

The year that my oldest was 4 and aged out of the 2 playgroups we had been going to and all of a sudden our old friends were going off to preschool we went to regular library activities. We had one branch that had a weekly activity for ages 2-4. One month it was storytimes and related activities, one month it was yoga, one month it was a music teacher (and she was awesome!) etc. It rotated. Usually the same people attended these things, so we had some friends. Usually they had a theme around holidays, so my kids had a valentine party to go to and a place to hand out valentines and suckers, etc. I just wanted to put that idea out there to those who are waiting for their child to be old enough for the hs groups.

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one of the requirements to join our homeschool group is that you've already homeschooled for at least a year. That might help screen out some.

 

So new homeschooling families don't have any support from the local hs'ing community? Their kids don't get to meet other homeschooled kids at activities? The moms don't get to ask questions, learn from more experienced moms?

 

I hope it isn't really like that? :(

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So new homeschooling families don't have any support from the local hs'ing community? Their kids don't get to meet other homeschooled kids at activities? The moms don't get to ask questions, learn from more experienced moms?

 

I hope it isn't really like that? :(

 

 

That is not how i run my group now. Because my oldest is preschool age I wanted to start making friendships with homeschooling families. But I am feeling terrible for him as we lose one by one to public school, just because their families had NO intentions of homeschooling past pre-k or K but told me that they were homeschoolers for ht elong term. I understand things happen. I understand that things change. But the overwhelming trend around here is annoying. I do require parent particiapation and it is not a drop off.. and at $65 a year ( to cover donation to church space and a cabinet we bought to store supplies) it is just a cheap option.

 

So for my group it is hard for me to "weed" out who is and who isn't using my group when they look me in the eye in Sept to say they want to homeschool until middle school and join, and then a few weeks later I hear them talking up how awesome public K or first will be next year..

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That is not how i run my group now. Because my oldest is preschool age I wanted to start making friendships with homeschooling families. But I am feeling terrible for him as we lose one by one to public school, just because their families had NO intentions of homeschooling past pre-k or K but told me that they were homeschoolers for ht elong term. I understand things happen. I understand that things change. But the overwhelming trend around here is annoying. I do require parent particiapation and it is not a drop off.. and at $65 a year ( to cover donation to church space and a cabinet we bought to store supplies) it is just a cheap option.

 

So for my group it is hard for me to "weed" out who is and who isn't using my group when they look me in the eye in Sept to say they want to homeschool until middle school and join, and then a few weeks later I hear them talking up how awesome public K or first will be next year..

 

:grouphug: I just want to give you a hug. I can see how your situation can be so painful. If moms are not forthcoming or being disingenuous, that is awful.

 

This threads can take all kinds of turns and people can come up with all kinds of variations of why these moms are not doing what you think they are doing...but that is not what is happening to you right now.

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Yes, I had to start saying that I was homeschooling my 4 year-old because otherwise I would get a ton of questions about Pre-K and what I was going to do about school readiness. Even just saying "we plan to homeschool" would disturb some people who think that a child that age should be doing something formal.

 

It doesn't help that my son is above the 95th percentile for height and speaks well for his age. People look at him and immediately think Kindergartner even though he wouldn't start public K until Sept 2012.

 

Saying I homeschool heads off a lot of questions in polite conversation even though the things I do are pretty typical mom stuff.

:iagree:

I was in this camp, too, until my oldest son turned 3 and started being asked constantly where he went to school, why he wasn't in school, etc. (One memorable time, when he was 4, someone actually asked him ON THE STREET whether he was 'playing hooky.') I used to say, "Oh, he's at home with me," but that was frequently interpreted as meaning that I had somehow missed the memo that children his age generally went to preschool. And, more importantly, my son wanted to know why everyone else was in school and he wasn't.

 

So I told him he was homeschooled, and he was very happy to have a concrete answer to give all those folks asking him about "big boy school." It had nothing whatsoever to do with what we were -- or weren't -- doing at home.

 

I find the older sibling requirement mildly funny, because that's essentially what some of the most selective private preschools around here do, too. Supply and demand, I suppose. It would be such a bummer not to be able to participate in homeschool activities with an oldest child, though.

:iagree:

I don't mean to start a feud or anything, but really, didn't "homeschooling in pre-K" used to just be called "being a mom"? This is what we did...and when my kid went to school, I was the only one who hadn't been flashcarding him and teaching him to read...and in 3 months, he went from non-reader to best reader in the class. We did preschool for fun, not for lessons. Life's too short. Rant's too long tho, so off I scoot.

Yes, it did. Until "being a mom" starting to mean just living in the same house, dressing and feeding. I do work with Luke, because he enjoys it. I read to Luke, I do all the old mom things, but anymore it's overachieving pageant mom stuff in other eyes.

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