Mynyel Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) That always seems to be calm? No matter what? I meet people that seem to be calm and always respond to everything kindly without batting an eye. They have smiles and never seem to get mad. Are you like that? How do you do it? I so want to be calm. Not to be so uptight. I always feel like a tightly wound violin string and I hate it. I'd take Holy Basil or St. Johns Wart if I could but still nursing once at night! :) :bigear: Edited January 7, 2011 by Mynyel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Of course I am. I respond properly, without getting excited. I love on you till you see that I'm right. I never yell or spank when I could just talk it out. My husband and I never argue, beyond which of us can serve the other more. And... then I wake up :) On a serious note, I usually am kind... and respond well. I try to just wait and "think about it". When I think about it, I actually just tell people... "I need to think about that"... I'll get back to you. That way I can not be overly upset about things... Sometimes... maybe even usually... it works out that after I put things in perspective.... I can be rational. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I don't know if I am truly one of those people. For me, I find when people around me are freaking out it is easier for me to remain calm. I don't like drama. So I emotionally detach myself. It is easier for me to be unflappable when I feel like an observer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria from IN Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I don't know if I'm the most calm person in the world, but lately I have had a lot of practice keeping a "Sunday face" to the rest of the world. I work in the Behavioral Health Unit (translation: psych floor) at a local hospital, and there are stories there that, frankly, are sometimes so outrageous that they can't be made up! At first I would become outraged, and would have to process (otherwise khown as vent, vehemently!) it with my supervisors, but after all the CPS calls, the people who know they need to change their lives but don't, and just those who die for one reason or another, I've sorta gotten used to it. Granted, I'm not hard and unfeeling, it's just that it doesn't offend me as much. These people are in desperate circumstances, usually because of the decisions they make, and I've learned not to take it personally if they don't take my advice. It's almost like watching a performance, really. Is that what you mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 No, I'm not but my MIL is. She is always sweet and kind, she never seems to be bothered by anything. I've known her for nearly 20 years and I'm still trying to figure it out and hoping it will rub off on me a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Uh...No. But dh is. I have no idea how he does it (and the fact that he does do it drives me positively insane). I am the only one who can really get him mad. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I don't know that calm is the word to describe me, but I'm definitely patient and don't get worked up about most things. My husband is the opposite and thinks everything is the end of the world all the time. I don't really know how I do it. Maybe because I have to? I do know it makes me sort of a boring person to be with though, because I also don't get very excited about things either. I just think most emotions through before I feel them, I guess, which takes away from the enjoyment of them a bit. On a side note, I never thought I was patient. In fact, growing up, I would have told you I was very impatient. It was only having kids that made me be patient. It was like a personality trait that came out that I never had before. I totally think it is a gift from God. It's also what is making me believe I will be able to homeschool. ETA: I'm not sweet and kind. I just don't get mad very easily, and there is a distinct difference in my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 No. Not at all. It is definitely a trait I envy in others!! I admit it....I'm a yeller. I'm also impatient. Oh, and very high strung. But, I try. I think I yell more in my head because ds told me the other day that I don't yell a lot. Maybe he just tunes me out:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melenie Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 No, but I really want to be. :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Nope. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I meet people that seem to be calm and always respond to everything kindly without batting an eye. They have smiles and never seem to get mad. This is me. I so want to be calm. Not to be so uptight. I always feel like a tightly wound violin string and I hate it. And so is this. :lol: Only dh, my sister, and a few really close friends know how really high strung I am. I used to be a special education teacher, and my outward demeanor is that of a very patient person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) Not at all. Aamof, I am the complete opposite of what you described. Edited January 8, 2011 by Mejane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 No, but my MIL and one of SILs are. I wish I were like this - calm, gracious and kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I wouldn't describe myself as calm but when I get irritated by someone who is attacking me verbally (usually a customer at work), I actually get more quiet. I am a busy, running about type person. I am not high strung, just busy. If someone makes me mad, I don't attack and rarely angry. Instead, I get very quiet and thoughtful of the person's words. I stop moving around and sit still. I guess it is much like 'playing opposum' for the person who is yelling at me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted January 8, 2011 Author Share Posted January 8, 2011 No. Not at all. It is definitely a trait I envy in others!! I admit it....I'm a yeller. I'm also impatient. Oh, and very high strung. But, I try. I think I yell more in my head because ds told me the other day that I don't yell a lot. Maybe he just tunes me out:tongue_smilie: See my kids do tell me I am grumpy a lot. I know I yell a lot. I mean I have a reason a lot of the time, or so I tell myself but I just don't get how to stop when I get so mad. How do I not yell. How do I keep my calm? /sigh Maybe it is inherent and I have to live with it... Having a bit of a pity :party: here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I try really hard to be, but... I can lose it sometimes!!:tongue_smilie: It is difficult at times, but you really have to be relaxed and calm when responding to most people, especailly with little kids. There are times when you need to show some anger to adults or firmness, but other than that, be calm. I like being calm because it shows my friends, and littel siblings what God has done in my life to help me be calm. Ask God for patience and understanding, and your life can become much more peaceful. But be prepared for those little moments that God will try and test you with!;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyable Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Only dh, my sister, and a few really close friends know how really high strung I am. I used to be a special education teacher, and my outward demeanor is that of a very patient person. Me too! (only I was a speech language pathologist, lol). Seriously. I have people ALL THE TIME ask me how I am so calm and wishing they could "be like that." But inside, I am a highly sensitive, high anxiety type of person. It's funny, my brother went to a psychic once many years ago, who told him all these things that were eerily right on the money. But then he says to me, "Then the psychic said you were high strung, but that's not true." HA! I told him what I'm like inside that he never saw because I couldn't be myself around my family (growing up). Only my dh and kids know what I'm really like. I have told friends, but they've never seen it. All that to say, what you see on the outside of a person isn't necessarily what they are really like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Most people see me this way. I stay calm during any and all emergencies. I just know that it is best that way. I stay calm when we are out and about. The only time I lose it is reacting to my boys... when I haven't had enough sleep. Friends don't believe me, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'm told I am, but don't see it in myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I think it's inborn temperament. One of my brothers is unflappable and the other one is a bit on the high-strung side like me. Even as babies, you could tell which was which. One was Mr. Easygoing from birth and the other was Mr. Fusspot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Don't kid yourself. EVERYONE has *someone* who can set them off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Seriously. I have people ALL THE TIME ask me how I am so calm and wishing they could "be like that." But inside, I am a highly sensitive, high anxiety type of person. It's funny, my brother went to a psychic once many years ago, who told him all these things that were eerily right on the money. But then he says to me, "Then the psychic said you were high strung, but that's not true." HA! I told him what I'm like inside that he never saw because I couldn't be myself around my family (growing up). Only my dh and kids know what I'm really like. I have told friends, but they've never seen it. All that to say, what you see on the outside of a person isn't necessarily what they are really like. Same here. I'm as jittery as they come on the inside, but, apparently, I have an outward calm. A friend of mine once said, "I used to think you were so serene. Now I know you're just vibrating so fast I have to be really close to see it." Of course, the Physics Binder Incident of 2010 (and the consequent dent in my coffee table) might refute that image slightly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Well, I can appear to be super calm all the time. A screaming child in ER, no problem. A child heading into surgery yet again, no problem. Tell me my infant might have leukemia---just days after she had stopped breathing on us, calm, cool and collected. I can handle the situations in the then and there. I don't get too riled up or upset over most things. Even the moms in our "Good Moms Club" (8 moms who have adopted special needs kids) wonder how I am always so steady. Well, the truth is, I can handle the stress of those things when I need to. On the flip side, if there is ANYONE in church shedding tears over any remotely sappy thing, it will be ME. I can cry at those forwarded emails that might not even be true, at sappy commercials, just about anything. I now rarely go to church with out several kleenex in my purse. I actually finally made it through a wedding without lots of tears. I even commented that I could have gone to Michael Jacksons funeral and cried my eyes out even though I didn't even like him or his music. So, I am cool and calm but cry at the smallest sappy things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorMama Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I might seem that way to strangers or friends I'm not very close with. I can keep my cool in just about any circumstance, and I'm not likely to emote in public. It's not because I'm calm, though...it's because I'm a private sort of person. I would feel exceptionally awkward being anything other than collected in front of people I didn't know well. In reality I'm a very intense person, and I have anxiety issues that can get pretty bad from time to time. I also like to be busy and I naturally move faster than a lot of people. I'll be running around doing a pile of things on a Saturday morning and dh will say "I thought you wanted to relax today!". That IS me relaxing. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I do lose it sometimes, but I am finding it is less and less as I get older. I have embraced what is important in life. If I have God and my family, everything else is just stuff. Sometimes I do things like pull the cuckoo clock that my mother and I got in Switzerland when I was 17 off the wall, that almost brought me to tears. At the end of the day it is just material and I still have the memories of the trip. I do not think that I am explaining this well. Everything in life could be kept safely on a secure shelf, bolted down behind glass, but then we would not have the enjoyment of things. I decided to use our things and not have it be the end of the world if they break. As for worry, I used to get myself sick. Now I ask myself if worrying will do any good. I learnt this is college. I used to be ill waiting for my exam results, then I realized that worrying would not change anything. Once the exam was turned in, there was nothing I could do about it. Now, after almost 20 years, I am good at letting go of things, If worrying about it serves a purpose that will help something, I do it, otherwise I move on and accept whatever is coming. I am generous to a fault. I will give you my time, money, my car, forgiveness, whatever is needed. I always want to help. I get walked over A LOT! However, at this point in my life, I have some of the most amazing dedicated friends. I would not have these people in my life if I wasn't the way I was. Being walked over and taken advantage off is worth it to have the people in my life that I do. The main reason though that I think I am that way is that I am happy. I had very reasonable goals in life, and I achieved them. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Everything else is just gravy. Instead of being disappointed when things do not go my way, I am pleasantly surprised when I get an extra. I look for the good, and there is a lot of it out there. Our vicar had a lot of nice chats with us before my dh and I got married. One thing that he said to us the day before our wedding has really stuck with me. He reminded us that we would enter the church as 2 single people. As long as we left the church married, the day was a success. That was all that really mattered. There really is surprisingly little that is truly important. I think we all (and yes I have my moments too) where we get caught up in everything else. I am not perfect, I also do not desire to be perfect. It will never happen, so why get myself worked up. My children are not perfect, they can drive me up a wall and have me pulling my hair out. However, I love them and feel so fortunate that I have them. My dh is also not perfect, but he was made for me and surrounds me with love. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it is how I ended up where I am. Nicole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 That always seems to be calm? No matter what? hahahaha!!!!!! :boxing_smiley::willy_nilly: :biggrinjester: :smilielol5: nope...... not me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 A friend of mine once said, "I used to think you were so serene. Now I know you're just vibrating so fast I have to be really close to see it.". :lol::lol::lol: THAT is funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 That always seems to be calm? No matter what? :bigear: I'm told so. It's all fake. Honestly I just don't want to look like the crazy lady with eight kids pulling out her hair in public. I've practiced looking calm while biting my tongue and gritting my teeth and thinking, "Oh child... just wait." :D (But DH did say a funny comment the other day and said no wonder I'm relaxed - my blood pressure at my OB appt. was 99/58 and that's pretty typical.) But he knows better than anyone it's only calm on the surface, lol. How you FEEL does not have to determine how you ACT. Well, sometimes, but not ALL the time. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I am in public. I find it extremely embarrassing to have emotions in front of people that are anything but mild. You could tell my my child is ugly and then punch me in the face and I'd barely react. This is actually not a good trait of mine. When I need to react I still don't. On the plus side, I'm extremely calm in an emergency when others are panicking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 That always seems to be calm? No matter what? I meet people that seem to be calm and always respond to everything kindly without batting an eye. They have smiles and never seem to get mad. Are you like that? How do you do it? I so want to be calm. Not to be so uptight. I always feel like a tightly wound violin string and I hate it. I'd take Holy Basil or St. Johns Wart if I could but still nursing once at night! :) :bigear: :lol::lol: Not me. Recently a homeschooling mom commented that I was laid back... :smilielol5: Took me about five minutes to collect myself. Of course it didn't help that my twins and another teen I homeschool burst out laughing too...:D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I don't know if I am truly one of those people. For me, I find when people around me are freaking out it is easier for me to remain calm. I don't like drama. So I emotionally detach myself. It is easier for me to be unflappable when I feel like an observer. Me too. I can do very well if I am not "in" the situation, or if the situation is very serious I usually keep my cool. Like the time my twins were babies and I had to do laundry at a laundromat (we lived in a "good" neighborhood in Chicago). Long story short... there was drive by shooting. Shockingly I didn't panic and when I saw a teen shot, I helped stabilize him. But then afterwards... I was shaking like an earthquake and I went straight home (just a block away) and forgot the laundry. Dh had to go back and get the clothes and I refused to set foot in a laundromat for years. My Dh had to go and do that chore. I still get nervous sitting or standing in places that have the whole outside wall as windows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'm told so. It's all fake. Honestly I just don't want to look like the crazy lady with eight kids pulling out her hair in public. I've practiced looking calm while biting my tongue and gritting my teeth and thinking, "Oh child... just wait." :D (But DH did say a funny comment the other day and said no wonder I'm relaxed - my blood pressure at my OB appt. was 99/58 and that's pretty typical.) But he knows better than anyone it's only calm on the surface, lol. How you FEEL does not have to determine how you ACT. Well, sometimes, but not ALL the time. :iagree: This is funny, because people always comment on how calm I am...my kids just roll their eyes and dh just bursts out laughing...but, One time I was at my OB appointment waiting an unusally looong time. I was 6 mos pg and this was baby #4...and my oldest was about 7. I had the 3 kids with me and well...we had to wait...and there was a waiting room full of Mom's and litttle kids.....and well...they were all getting antsy...so... I started an improptu game of Simon says.... So, the OB finally walks into the office from whatever emergency he was on...and i just happened to be standing on my head with 15 kids 7 and under trying to stand on theirs...because Simple Simon said..... And all the OB said was..."Now I know why your blood pressure is always low....It is because YOU ARE NUTS!!" My kids still laugh and ask if I want to play Simon Says..... Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Same here. I'm as jittery as they come on the inside, but, apparently, I have an outward calm. A friend of mine once said, "I used to think you were so serene. Now I know you're just vibrating so fast I have to be really close to see it." Of course, the Physics Binder Incident of 2010 (and the consequent dent in my coffee table) might refute that image slightly... LOL, that reminds me of when I was studying calculus... I got so frustrated that I threw my book and nearly hit Dh with it when all he asked me was "honey, would you like a soda?". Or the time that my nephew told to me "F-off b*tch" and I chased him with a baseball bat.... Lucky for him he was faster than me. So nope.. I guarantee I am not calm cool collected all the time. But then when Ds"1 fell and nearly knocked out all four of his front teeth... I was totally calm. Or the time that Ds#2 fell in window well and needed 6 stictches in his head... or when Dd fell down the stairs (while using crutches already!!!!). In emergencies I am totally calm. But push my wrong button... and that is it, I can loose it in a heart beat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 This is funny, because people always comment on how calm I am...my kids just roll their eyes and dh just bursts out laughing...but, One time I was at my OB appointment waiting an unusally looong time. I was 6 mos pg and this was baby #4...and my oldest was about 7. I had the 3 kids with me and well...we had to wait...and there was a waiting room full of Mom's and litttle kids.....and well...they were all getting antsy...so... I started an improptu game of Simon says.... So, the OB finally walks into the office from whatever emergency he was on...and i just happened to be standing on my head with 15 kids 7 and under trying to stand on theirs...because Simple Simon said..... And all the OB said was..."Now I know why your blood pressure is always low....It is because YOU ARE NUTS!!" My kids still laugh and ask if I want to play Simon Says..... Faithe Now that is funny!!!!!!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awtl Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) I used to be extremely calm. My dad would get so mad at me sometimes and say, "Don't your care". or "Doesn't that bother you?". Yes, I did care, I just never showed much emotion, and I never got mad about anything. I don't know if it was just natural or because my mom was always so sweet and it just rubbed off on me. Besides, my grandmother always taught me that a lady is, "Calm, cool, and collected." She'd say that all the time. One time my sister came from across the room and slapped me just to show someone that I didn't get angry. And I wasn't angry (she didn't do it hard enough to really hurt, either, though). I was surprised, and really wondered why in the world she did it, but I wasn't mad at all. I have changed. I do show more emotion and I do get angry now. I sometimes wish I could go back to how I used to be. Edited January 8, 2011 by awtl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Gregg Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'm calm in a crisis and clam 95% of the time. It's just my nature. When people start to freak out I start to get calmer. I grew up in a large, noisy, drama filled family. I was the one who was without the drama. Part of the reason I went into nursing is because if chaos is happening I'm the port in the storm. Once the crisis is done though... give me a big box of tissues and 10mins to compose myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysparkler Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I am... but I don't know why, exactly. I think it is just who I am. I grew up in a very abusive/loud/scary home, so sometimes I wonder if the calm, peaceful person that I am comes from the many ways I tried to become invisible in order to stay safe. I also seem to be MUCH less distressed by unpleasant circumstances than dh who grew up in Leave It To Beaver's household. I think it is because I have seen much worse, so everything seems less dramatic and less traumatic to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Not really. I do tend to over-react and freak out a little in a crisis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Of course! Don't you know that in real life I'm Mary Poppins. I'm practically perfect in every way.... NOT!:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I am mellowing as I age. I still have a long way to go! Currently, I am a recovering hot-head who is still attempting to learn when to keep her mouth shut and calm down. I definitely envy calm, cool, and collected people! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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