KrisC Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Our son is 10 1/2 and has anxiety and AHDH. We are trying to work with him without medicating him. Our doctor and psychologist are both ok with this. I have told both of them that if they think I should medicate, I will. But neither has said that so far. He has very limited ability to work by himself. He is emotionally volatile. We just started homeschooling this fall, and I am started to get worn down. I've had no patience with him this week and I feel awful. If anyone has suggestions for good curriculums for ADHD kids, I'm all ears. I'm using Writing with Ease and First Language Lessons. I am thinking of changing my other son (9) from FLL to something more independent, because doing WWE and FFL with the two boys, plus teaching my 5yo DD to read, it's too much one-on-one time I think. Anyway. I feel lost and in WAY over my head. I do not want my child to become drug dependent. I have seen the way he acts already with sugar. He steals it. Anything we have in the house is fair game. He stole his Dad's xmas candy, tons of his siblings halloween candy, if I have any ice cream in the freezer he steals that. If he acts that way with sugar, I think amphetamines will be worse. But as I said, I am lost, and sad. Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) Lots and lots of patience. A good psychologist for both of you. A vow to not scream all day. Reminding yourself that they will not be in your house forever. A payment plan on all of the destruction and a big hammer to take to their house so you can get in a few whacks to even up the score. The thought that medicating yourself with wine is not entirely a bad thing. I'm kinda serious. I have a non medicated 20 yo and on his best days I want to kill him at least three times. When he was on medication he wasn't all that bad--I could talk some sense into him. Meds really aren't evil. They help THEM as much as they help you. And mine would shoot sugar like heroine and now that he is older and works, he just buys it. It's his form of self medication. So he can either keep medicating himself, or you can try a psychologist and meds. Because I'm telling you, all that behavior? I've been there. Some kids have no road blocks --nothing will stop them from that, they see no wrong, and the meds stop them long enough to change the behavior. Edited January 7, 2011 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrisC Posted January 7, 2011 Author Share Posted January 7, 2011 :) Thanks. I know the meds aren't evil. We just have a lot of addiction history in our family and I don't want to set him up for that. But I know untreated he could be on that path anyway..... I guess the gravity of his diagnosis is beginning to sink in and scare me. Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I had mine on a cocktail and it wasn't pretty-it takes some figuring out, sometimes changing, lots of deep breaths and sometimes crying. But I'll take him with the meds rather than not any day. And that's not just for me--because I want him controllable. It's for his own sake. And meds don't= addiction. Really. Because they will self medicate, cigarettes, pot, whaveyou--you name it. Some kids have an ADHD diagnosis and can make it without the meds. They're ...lighter, I don't know. But some kids have it and it's all you can do to keep them from killing themselves. The first thing I would do if I were you-because you still have time -- would be to gather a team of Drs. His GP, a pediatric neurologist, a psychologist and a psychiatrist. And go as a family to therapy because the other kids need it too. They get sick of their lives being the ADHD kid's show. That's valid, you know? :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Before we went to medication at age 12, during school time I sat next to my son and acted as his frontal lobes for him (to steal a phrase from the Eides). I spent four hours each day instructing and redirecting. Coincidently (or perhaps not), we turned to medication when my younger son joined our homeschool. I simply couldn't spend the time with the older one anymore, and he needed to develop whatever skills he could to deal with his attention problems on his own. Some other things that seemed to work: protein breakfast, omega-3s, and more water. As for drug dependence, my son has *no* desire to take his medication other than when he has to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MangoMama Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 You've had a lot of great advice already. I don't have much to add except to second (or third or fourth LOL) the suggestion that diet really helps and to give you some :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razorbackmama Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Are you opposed to any sort of supplements? I've read some reports that say that people are finding good results with fish oil with a high EPA to DHA ratio - preferably 7:1. It's hard to find since most "attention" fish oil supplements are high in DHA. But studies are showing that for kids over age 4, a high EPA is better. We use MorEPA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Diet and exercise. I would also consider that the research shows that kids who truly have ADHD who are *not* medicated are *more* likely to experiment with other drugs as teens. (Sorry--don't have time to find the links, but it seemed like credible research). Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~cindy~ Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Lots and lots of patience. A good psychologist for both of you. A vow to not scream all day. Reminding yourself that they will not be in your house forever. A payment plan on all of the destruction and a big hammer to take to their house so you can get in a few whacks to even up the score. The thought that medicating yourself with wine is not entirely a bad thing. :lol: I'll go break every chair and lounge my son owns to even up the score:lol: My son is only 7 and we have only just started after a horrendous start at a public school. Lucas has a concentration span of 5 minutes, tops...that is my window and it is like teaching a jack-in-the-box. My son has a lot of outside time. We are learning Kinesthetically if possible and I try to find as many visual teaching tools as I can. Big protein breakfast with a protein shake if possible and he must be fed and have something to drink every two hours or so, like a toddler really. If we are studying (on vacation ATM ;)) I will try to get some caffeine into him but he doesn't like coffee without sugar and if he has sugar it defeats the purpose. I do understand your worry. I come from a family of addiction as well and it will be over my dead body that my children tread that path...but what do I do? I'm not anti meds either and plan to try them this year to see how they go. I just wonder if my son has the knowledge ADHD that the others have not will it make a difference? We all know what makes ADHD and it is not hidden from him and it is certainly not referred to in negative terms. I try to tell him at least once a day what we can do better ;) http://ezinearticles.com/?Positive-Characteristics-of-Children-With-ADHD&id=2489457 I have a few books and like this one http://www.amazon.com/Gift-ADHD-Transform-Problems-Strengths/dp/1572248505/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1294433437&sr=8-7 ADHD is not seen as a problem in my family...well we try...it's very hard some days. I am hoping that this attitude and his being home-schooled away from the negative comments will lead him away from a path of addiction. I really don't know and to me that is the frightening part. I do not want it to be from me medicating or not medicating that makes the difference KWIM. I do think a positive attitude and knowledge is power to my son. I know it is to me. I think his understanding of what ADHD does to him and how he can help himself is a powerful tool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 :lol: I'll go break every chair and lounge my son owns to even up the score:lol: I think his understanding of what ADHD does to him and how he can help himself is a powerful tool. I have a graveyard of chairs. "Chair on the floor," was all I said while I schooled him. I did the fish oil and yes, it worked to an extent. But, like the poster above, it kinda petered out. The working with an ipod did work. If I had known about having them work on a balance ball I might have tried that. I didn't allow any sugar while I homeschooled mine and he did everything possible to get it. Even stealing $ to go buy candy. I would find wrappers everywhere. Being punative doesn't help, spanking doesn't help. Mine had nothing I could do to him that would be a consequence, he just didn't care. I totally agree with cindy above that them knowing what it does helps them understand--but that's only if they think they need to change thier behavior. If they think nothing is wrong---we'll it's like trying to convince an addict that they need to stop. :grouphug::grouphug: What do your Dr.s say? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~cindy~ Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 (edited) I'll probably keep coming back and adding because it's morning over here and I am just having my first coffee so I am a touch ;):D forgetful. My son can't read yet so I have to spend a lot of one on one time BUT he does not have to sit at the table to learn, he can go sit in his tree if he likes as long as he does the work :D He has a laptop, he has a breakfast? tray so he has a stable surface to write on if he wants to do his work on his bed, he can sit on the lounge etc. If I make him sit at the table he jiggles so much that I'm not sure anything gets through KWIM. I have balance boards for him to play with when he is reading. He has a soft ball to squish which helps with his concentration, I am going to get one of those balance balls too...I just have not seen one when I've been out shopping. We have a running machine that he likes to get on as well. I agree with the lots of sleep too. If Lucas has had a bad night then we just have a relaxed day...there will be enough meltdowns without having to try to do work on top of it. There was something else, I can't remember...I'll be back :p ETA Ah, that's it...we will be trying workboxes this year to see how they go...see I knew I'd remember sooner or later:p ETA See, I'm back again:p I say this with the full force and knowledge of a full 9 months of home-schooling behind me (that's a joke BTW ;)) that the reason I home-school is so that I don't have to follow a full schedule for my son, it, HS, is perfect for my son because it allows the day to fold into his way, not like when he was in a public school and my son was being twisted to fit their schedule which was just unacceptable to the way that Lucas thought. You know that they have found a genetic link for ADHD? I'll just throw this in here because I find it interesting...not really relevant but I know it helps me and it will hopefully help my son understand that ADHD is not something that he did, or it's not because he's stupid or some other ridiculous assertion. He was made this way, his brain is wired differently. http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/09/30/3026236.htm Edited January 7, 2011 by ~cindy~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Has he had a full evaluation? I ask as you mention he has anxiety, ADHD and is emotionally volatile and that you have a family history of drug addictions. These could all be part of a mood disorder. If it is, you would want to treat the MOOD disorder first and then after that any remaining ADHD. This is my own soap box as the mother of a child with bipolar. I did talk to our neuropsychologist the other day at length and she said there are studies out there that are showing that kids that are medicated properly for mood disorders actually go on to do BETTER than those that are not medicated as early. She said the meds help train the brain to be "normal" and like "normal" instead of bouncing all over. I don't know if that holds for ADHD as well but I know that our daughter had EXTREME bipolar symptoms as a toddler and had an attention span of 15-30 SECONDS for any activity--even over an hour span. No wonder the poor child couldn't learn. She started meds for the bipolar at 5 and now at 15 not many people would know she has a mood disorder at all. She still needs her meds and likely always will but life is 90% better on the meds. She feels better, she can learn and everyone else's life is easier as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 (edited) --- Edited November 10, 2021 by prairiewindmomma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Coming in from a neverending "BTDT" life with multiple diagnoses for multiple family members, along with multiple approaches for management. . . You might consider treating the anxiety spectrum issues with medication first, then see what happens with the ADHD. Someone else already suggested this, so I'm lending support to that sound advice. Going from what I see within my own family, and what I have seen with other families, addiction to medications is not at all a danger for most ADD/ADHD people. This is a persistent myth, imo, and can prevent safe and fruitful treatment for patients who respond well to ADD meds. In contrast, people with bipolar disorder are at risk for addiction. (I've seen some very sad situations.) FWIW, my own severe ADD/ADHD (I'm "mixed type") was not diagnosed until I was in my later 40s. Never, ever did I even consider experimenting with drugs. HTH ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Litwin Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 If you haven't done a sleep study on him, I would suggest you start there. Sleep deprivation is a major behavior trigger. Just because it looks like he is sleeping doesn't mean he is in REM sleep and possibly has some sleep apnea. We had our sons sleep study done (for the very same reason, we didn't want to jump on the meds bandwagon right away if we could avoid it), we found out he does have mild sleep apnea. Not enough to warrant meds or a breathing machine, but enough to have an effect on his behavior. We ended up having his tonsils and adenoids taken out. There were other mitigating factors for the surgery, not simply because we wanted to avoid meds. His breathing at night has improved alot. You could also try mountain dew (if he's a soda person) or tea or coffee. The doctors tried to explain to me how the mega dose of caffeine benefits the ADHD'er but frankly by then my eyes were glazing over. I was too exhausted and just went with the meds. Maybe you could google ADHD and Mountain Dew and see if there is any info on it out there. We finally ended up with a med. It wears off by the early afternoon. We also have a very very short acting med (literally lasts about an hour or two) for the evenings when he has to go to scouts or religous school. Frankly, you can give it a try. If you don't like it, stop it. Most of these meds have no backlash for ending immediately. They cycle through their systems so quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrisC Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 I am sorry that it took me so long to write back. Thank you everyone for your compassionate responses. It is so cool to hang out on a forum like this. First of all I have a few abbreviation questions (that's my only problem with this board, the acronyms REALLY get to me!): What is: - MCT Grammar - MUS - HWT For Apples and Pears, do I order that from England? Razorback Mama: So interesting that you mention the higher EPA than DHA. We were on Omega brite for a while and while of course I think it was good, we've switched to a fish oil with a more balanced ratio. I figure as long as he's getting enough of both, that's good. I'm going to order borage oil to add today, for the GLA portion. We also are starting him on Tyrosine, with the consent of our doctor who specializes in nutrition (we consult with him online, www.drfuhrman.com). The idea that not medicating him is damaging his brain or setting him up for addiction is with me every single day. I purchased a therapeutic light and I'm getting him up early so he can have some tv time while he sits under it. It seems to help, I especially notice he's more controlled in the afternoon.s (I like it too.) And finally, yes, he has had an evaluation. I had him evaluated at the public school before I took him out (at the end of 4th grade, last spring). There were no learning disabilities, just executive functioning. Then I had him evaluated at Mass General for Children. They agreed with a psychologist's opinion that he has ADHD and generalized anxiety - no mood disorders or other learning disabilities. I'm really looking into a Charlotte Mason approach because I'm thinking the variety, short lessons and character building will be good for all of us. I am just finding the learning curve to be HUGE and I can't really find my way. I had a terrible night last night with him -- a 2 hour meltdown from 8-10 that disrupted the whole family. Then again this morning. He kept telling me to shut up and mocking me when I spoke (mouthing the words and making a face -- it's right up there with eye rolling only worse IMO). I just lost it, ended up yelling and yelling and sending him outside to shovel off the deck. Anyway, please know that I deeply apreciate all of your replies and honest feedback. xoxoxoxo. Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevergrace Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Hi Kristen, I really hesitated posting, but, it can't hurt. I suffered from ADHD as a child, (attention deficit was the label then). Mom medicated me w/ritalin when I was 7-8. At that time she tried the "Feingold Diet" it was new, much like our elimination diet. I can only say this, I wish to God she had of had more support. In the seventies, eating anything besides meat and potatoes in our house was just considered stupid. It would have worked, but, mom gave up and in to my father after a month. Fast forward many years later, after being medicated for depression, anxiety, adh-which I feel was the main problem all along and doctors were taking educated guesses w/my many symptoms. I decided to change everything; my diet, my way of thinking. I'm talking major elimination diet, and it takes sometimes up to several months before you see a difference. No wheat, no gluten, both contributing factors of ADHD and Autism. Also impacts people who are susceptible to low-grade depression. You don't have to be a Celiac to have problems w/either one. America's food is laced w/it, in just about everything we eat and drink. Now, years ago when I was in college being on meds. helped. I couldn't phantom taking a biology class w/out the help. I also was not aware of how much I could change. When my youngest daughter went to school, I was told she was ADHD, I laughed and said no way! I mean she just was quiet, I was everywhere and talkative. I would get into debates w/the teachers and while I amused my class-mates w/my sharp tongue, I couldn't control myself. Low and behold, school system was really wrong about my daughter, thank God I didn't give in to their wishes. I couldn't do that to my child, have her lead a life living on medication, like I had. Really sad thing is most ADHD children are extremely gifted. I know really hard to imagine when your kid is running in circles. I use to think my brain would never stop and rest. Diet, no easy was around it. Some of us are more predisposed (sensitive) to certain issues, but we can work it in our favor. It has worked for me, and I've never felt more alive than I do today. Over three-years and no meds. Dumb-founded my doctor when I said, "enough is enough, you are not God, and you don't know exactly how my brain works!" Not to mention when I stopped, I lived in fear that I would somehow just not function. Doctors' helped w/this theory! You know, western medicine first reply to anything is give it a pill. Please, consider all options, and no disrespect for those who do choose medications. I just believe w/all my heart there is a different way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrisC Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Thank you and I'm so glad you posted. It's tough to hear that I may be hurting him by not medicating him. I hear this over and over. So I did really need to hear encouragement about diet. Just a few weeks ago we started getting all the junk out of the house. I am trying to follow the Eat for Health plan by Dr. Fuhrman, and it's mainly veggies, beans, fruits, nuts, seeds, avocado... Thankfully as much of a crack head that my son seems like with sugar, he is my best eater. I make this kale soup and he loves it, loves beans. He does well. Today he ate a date and loved it. So... Thank you. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevergrace Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Kris, If you need any web links for diets (yummy foods) let me know, I'd be willing to send them to you in the next few days. It takes a courageous mom to take the time and effort to go outside the main stream, when so many others are telling you there is only one way. It also takes a leap of faith and really listening to your gut. It is really hard trying to make your child understand why they can't eat this or that, when everyone else is eating junk. I can't tell you how bad at times I felt when my daughter would look at me and say; "but, everyone else gets to eat it, why can't I, what is wrong w/me." Just look at the law-suit against "Taco Bell," it's in the news. Their meat is not even 10% (requirement by FDA is only 10%~~really sad) real meat. Funny I use to joke w/my husband when he would say, "Gosh, I really want a soft taco from Taco Bell!" I'd tell him over and over that I didn't think there was any meat in the taco. Of course he'd roll his eye at me, well, he couldn't when it hit the news!!! Funny way how things come out into the light. Always~:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlutterbyMommy Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 For us, medication was not an option because the psychiatrist was trying to diagnose her so young (age 4). He wouldn't formally diagnose without me consenting to medicate. She was just too young in our opinion (brain developing) for medication. So, we worked on other issues for SPD (which can give ADHD symptoms). I also started utilizing chiropractic more for her and then cranial-sacral massage. Through the OT we began using tools and strategies that were helpful. We have always been careful with DD's diet. We have utiized a variety of supplements. We use Nordic Naturals Omega 3-6-9 Junior and Nordic berries. We have tried a variety of "focus" and "ADHD" supplements as well (Sea Buddies, Focus Factor, Attend). Basically, various therapies have helped. Strategies like fidgets, standing and moving while doing school work, do school later and after exercise, relaxed school approaches, being creative in how I present materials, watching diet, and providing ample exercise have all worked together to help my daughter become/appear pretty darn typical. BUT, remember every child is different and it is a matter of finding what works for your family and child. IF (and that is a huge if) my daughter came to a place where I felt medication was an important need in her life, I would consider it. However, we would have to exhaust all other options. My DH has ADD and is on medication. He doesn't want her medicated unless there are no other options. I don't judge or have an opinion on those who medicate. I don't walk in their shoes. Who knows if i may need to put them on one day... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 MUS= Math U See HWT= Handwriting Without Tears Both of these books have clear, uncluttered pages without a lot of visual distraction. Both programs also focus on doing your best work without a lot of unneeded repetition. Both programs also have a fair number of kinesthetic things that you can do to solidify concepts. i can't help you out with MCT, sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) He could have a yeast issue, which is why he craves the sugar so badly. Starve the yeast by withholding ALL sugar for a while and supplement with a good probiotic. He may need more than that to help get rid of the yeast.. Oil of Oregano, Biotin, Grapefruit Seed Extract, and Olive Leaf Extract are all good for combatting yeast and bad bacteria in the gut. Be sure to repopulate with good bacteria via a good probiotic. Very important!! Some ideas for ADHD... ~Handicrafts (such as crocheting) stimulates the frontal lobe area of the brain, which is where our executive functioning is located. ~Behavior therapy did wonders for my girls. BT consisted of Interactive Metronome (great for ADHD), Neurofeedback, Biofeedback, Makoto, and Brain-building computer activities. We did BT with a psychologist. ~Omega 3 fatty acids that come from a wild fish source. This is very important for our children's brains! The above therapies are not as affective unless you are giving your child Omega 3's. Avoid Omega 6's & 9's though. They are not needed and could do more harm than good. We use Nordic Naturals DHA Cod Liver Oil, which comes from fish in the arctic. ~B vitamins.. Give your son B12 and B6. P-5-P is a product that has both B6 and magnesium... A great combo for ADHD! ~Zinc is a good supplement for ADHD. ~And finally, I always suggest to everyone who have kids with these issues to definitely investigate the possiblity of food sensitivities and/or intolerances (such as gluten, dairy).. These are almost ALWAYS the root culprit to these issues. ~Also, avoid dyes, preservatives, nitrates/nitrites, etc. and eat organic when possible. ~If your son has a Nintendo DS, then a good game for building working memory would be Brain Age II. ~Melatonin to help with falling asleep. My daughter with ADHD-combined type (raging hyperactivity) falls asleep with 1mg of melatonin. Edited February 2, 2011 by Misty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevergrace Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hey Misty~quick question, I'm starting oil of oregano for yeast problems (leaky-gut) how many times do you take it. It says to take four drops, but, I'm left guessing is that once or twice a day?~~Always~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Hey Misty~quick question, I'm starting oil of oregano for yeast problems (leaky-gut) how many times do you take it. It says to take four drops, but, I'm left guessing is that once or twice a day?~~Always~~ I'm not sure because mine comes in a soft gel cap form. There is 150mg in each soft gel and we take it twice a day. Sorry I couldn't help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forevergrace Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Gosh, just tried it for the first time. Both my husband and I, I just about gagged and threw it back-up. I put it in w/a cup of tea, four drops. Hubby faired much better!!LOL. ~~Thanks~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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