What is your favorite parenting book?

[Tiff in TX]

Baby Wise Series by Ezzo

 

 

 

I loved Baby Wise. It was given to me while I was still in the hospital after having just given birth and it really helped me keep my sanity as a new mom.

[*********]

The Bible.

 

Oh, and Dobson's 'Bringing Up Boys'.

[Free Indeed]

Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman. :D

[Heather in OK]

Traditional parenting books always made me so anxious/crazy. I had much better luck talking to women who had already raised their kids or who had much older kids.

Ditto. As long as those women had similar ideas about parenting and raising children as I do. ;) I won't really listen to someone who's scheduled their babies or used the cry-it-out approach or someone who uses a more punitive approach with older children.

 

That said, I think every parent should read Protecting the Gift.

 

I recommend anything by Dr. Sears to new parents.

[creekmom]

Favorite parenting book - is not really a book but a series of notebooks and cds called "Mom's Notes". Carla Link and her husband who are both affliated with Growing Kids wrote the series based on the Ezzo's parenting philosphy. EXCELLENT advice for everything you encounter as a parent for ALL ages. She even discusses things like different personalities and how to handle them- building a family identity, etc. If you are interested, she has a website www.momsnotes.com. I'll admit, the series is very expensive, but if you have friends/families that can go in on it with you, it helps. Definitely worth every penny!

[Sunflower]

Three favorites here.

Grace Based Parenting-Kimmel

Hold On to Your Kids-Neufeld

The Ministry of Motherhood- Sally Clarkson

 

I actually like anything by Sally Clarkson, reading her books are comparable to having tea with a great older friend who has a lot of wisdom.

[blessedx5]

Raising Godly Tomatoes...and you can read it online..

 

http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

[mom2denj]

I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this thread and I will be looking into some of these.:)

[skaterbabs]

"Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. if you can only ever have JUST ONE, that's the one to get.

 

I like "Parenting With Dignity" as well, but forget the author's name.

 

Next on my list is "Is this your child?" by Deloris Rapp, it's about food allergies and how they manifest both physically and behaviourally.

Edited July 8, 2009 by skaterbabs

[Satori]

Baby Book by Dr. Sears

Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin, by Ashley Montagu

 

That's really all it took for me to figure out my style of parenting, although I have read more on co-sleeping, babywearing, positive discipline, but the rest of the books just confirmed my style.

 

Oh, I like this little one, it has a picture of myself and DD in it. :)

Happiness is Babywearing by Courtney Hughes

[Sheila in OK]

I've read a LOT of parenting books--many that have been mentioned here--but my all-time fave is Boundaries with Kids by Cloud & Townsend. A lot of wisdom there!

[elw_miller]

The Baby Book. by Dr. Sears

The Discipline Book. by Dr. Sears

The Mister Rogers Parenting Book.

 

And oddly enough, Ability Development from Age Zero by Shinichi Suzuki.

 

While it discusses his theory on music education, his love of children shines through. In many ways it's a book about how to treat little people so they grow into good, kind grown-ups of character.

[nlmullen]

Shepherding a Child's Heart

[Penny from Tenny]

I actually like anything by Sally Clarkson, reading her books are comparable to having tea with a great older friend who has a lot of wisdom.

 

 

:iagree: ....although we are almost the same age. Just read "The Mission of Motherhood" by Clarkson and it was awesome. Also, "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tripp as well as "Keeping our Children's Hearts" by Steve and Teri Maxwell. I had a few "aha!" moments about my own upbringing as I read that one - the kind you wouldn't want to repeat with your own children. :001_huh:

[LivingUnderGrace]

I cannot pick just one. :)

I have gleaned many pieces of wisdom from: Michael Pearl, Ginger Plowman, Sally Clarkson, and Tedd Tripp.

[Pip]

Without a doubt, my favorite is "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline.

 

:iagree:

[KingM]

1-2-3 Magic has helped us a lot in our interactions with our children. It helps keep arguing and discipline problems with the children to a minimum and also manages our own stress and anger by giving us a method for dealing with behavior problems that is superior to escalating threats and punishment.

[Myrrh]

 

• Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel (did this as a women's Bible study, with DVDs and workbook)
  

 

 

 

• Families Where Grace is in Place by Jeff VanVonderen
  

 

 

 

• A Mother's Heart by Jean Fleming
  

 

 

 

• Nurture by Nature
  

 

 

 

• MotherStyles by Janet Penley (this one and the previous one are personality/temperament oriented, MBTI = myers-briggs)
  

 

I've heard good things about The Five Love Languages for Children, so that's on my wishlist.

[1bassoon]

I love most things written by John Rosemond - and have recently enjoyed "Parenting by the Book".

 

FWIW!

[MOM24WONDERS]

My absolute favorites are Shepherding Your Child's Heart by Ted Tripp, Hints on Child Training by Clay Trumbull and Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl. I also really enjoyed (and have read several times) To Train Up a Child by Michael Pearl. I can't say that I agree 100% with the things in THAT book, but he is a very wise man and I enjoy his family's teachings. Jumping Ship was an AWESOME book. I highly, highly recommend that parents read it before their children hit the pre-pub years.

[Myrrh]

My absolute favorites are Shepherding Your Child's Heart by Ted Tripp, Hints on Child Training by Clay Trumbull and Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl. I also really enjoyed (and have read several times) To Train Up a Child by Michael Pearl. I can't say that I agree 100% with the things in THAT book, but he is a very wise man and I enjoy his family's teachings. Jumping Ship was an AWESOME book. I highly, highly recommend that parents read it before their children hit the pre-pub years.

 

I respectfully but heartily disagree with the endorsement of anything written by the Pearls, especially To Train Up a Child, which advocates child abuse (using a tree branch on an infant, for starters) and conditioning of children, which has a perverse psychological basis (google "Pavlov's Dog") rather than a Biblical one. Also, the word for "train" in the verse "train up a child in the way he should go" translates to the teaching of values to older children, not the discipline of younger ones, so the very premise of the book is a distortion of Scripture. Don't even get me started...oops, guess you already did :rolleyes: Okay, time for one of these :chillpill: I'm hoping maybe the physical punishment and conditioning was in the percentage you don't agree with? I wish I could get past that, but I can't, especially in light of the things they write in the Help Meet book, like staying married to your spouse if he molests your children (i.e. put him in prison but visit him there faithfully).

Edited July 12, 2009 by Myrrh
typos and elaboration

[TKDmom]

One that I enjoyed and haven't seen listed was "Between Parent and Child" by Haim Ginott.

[MOM24WONDERS]

No Greater Joy Volume 1, 2 and 3. These are a combination of their magazine articles over the years. They have a lot of hands-on practical, godly advice.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[MOM24WONDERS]

I respectfully but heartily disagree with the endorsement of anything written by the Pearls, especially To Train Up a Child, which advocates child abuse (using a tree branch on an infant, for starters) and conditioning of children, which has a perverse psychological basis (google "Pavlov's Dog") rather than a Biblical one. Also, the word for "train" in the verse "train up a child in the way he should go" translates to the teaching of values to older children, not the discipline of younger ones, so the very premise of the book is a distortion of Scripture. Don't even get me started...oops, guess you already did :rolleyes: Okay, time for one of these :chillpill: I'm hoping maybe the physical punishment and conditioning was in the percentage you don't agree with? I wish I could get past that, but I can't, especially in light of the things they write in the Help Meet book, like staying married to your spouse if he molests your children (i.e. put him in prison but visit him there faithfully).

 

 

Well, I suppose it is how one looks at it. We do spank, so the rod is not a foreign concept to us. It's not a tree branch (nor is one ever advocated in that book and certainly not on infants), but a small dowel rod - as in like the size of a grill skewer. It is used starting in toddlerhood, but not with the purpose of causing any pain - only with the purpose of redirection with consequences.

 

As for the training, I disagree again. After having done years of study on what the actual "training of a child" is - they aren't so far off base. Again, I don't agree with everything, but I do believe that we start at birth teaching our children how they are to behave.

 

When we teach our babies to fall asleep on their own, that's training - we are training them to do a certain thing. We do not believe in punishment - we believe that if proper training takes place first there will be no need for punishment. Nothing is learned by scolding, anyway. Discipline is a whole different issue - it is the natural consequences of behavior.

 

When we speed and get a ticket we are disciplined - therefore, we are trained to not do it again. However, every time that we do it, we are disciplined again. Eventually, we learn to not speed!

 

There are many levels of training and you can learn more about it by listening to Voddie Baucham's Child Training talk. He is an AWESOME speaker and is so full of wisdom. I should have mentioned earlier that his books are among my favorite for family, parenting, marriage, everything!

 

I have taught CTBHHM many times and she doesn't advocate staying married to a child molestor. In fact, they are adamant that if you find that this is happening in your home to call the police immediately and get the pervert out of your home. I think this is an often misquoted and misunderstood part of her teaching. Again, there are things that I don't agree with, but for the most part I haven't found much that I can argue with.

 

I have no desire to debate the issue. It's been long known that people either like the Pearls or they don't. I think each parent has to take what works for them from each book they read and learn. The most important parenting book there is is the BIBLE. If people would just read it and apply it to their children there would be no need for all these books.

[Vida Winter]

Hold On To Your Kids

Protecting the Gift

Siblings Without Rivalry

 

I keep going back to these and recommend them to every parent.

[Myrrh]

Well, I suppose it is how one looks at it. We do spank, so the rod is not a foreign concept to us. It's not a tree branch (nor is one ever advocated in that book and certainly not on infants), but a small dowel rod - as in like the size of a grill skewer. It is used starting in toddlerhood, but not with the purpose of causing any pain - only with the purpose of redirection with consequences.

 

As for the training, I disagree again. After having done years of study on what the actual "training of a child" is - they aren't so far off base. Again, I don't agree with everything, but I do believe that we start at birth teaching our children how they are to behave.

 

When we teach our babies to fall asleep on their own, that's training - we are training them to do a certain thing. We do not believe in punishment - we believe that if proper training takes place first there will be no need for punishment. Nothing is learned by scolding, anyway. Discipline is a whole different issue - it is the natural consequences of behavior.

 

When we speed and get a ticket we are disciplined - therefore, we are trained to not do it again. However, every time that we do it, we are disciplined again. Eventually, we learn to not speed!

 

There are many levels of training and you can learn more about it by listening to Voddie Baucham's Child Training talk. He is an AWESOME speaker and is so full of wisdom. I should have mentioned earlier that his books are among my favorite for family, parenting, marriage, everything!

 

I have taught CTBHHM many times and she doesn't advocate staying married to a child molestor. In fact, they are adamant that if you find that this is happening in your home to call the police immediately and get the pervert out of your home. I think this is an often misquoted and misunderstood part of her teaching. Again, there are things that I don't agree with, but for the most part I haven't found much that I can argue with.

 

I have no desire to debate the issue. It's been long known that people either like the Pearls or they don't. I think each parent has to take what works for them from each book they read and learn. The most important parenting book there is is the BIBLE. If people would just read it and apply it to their children there would be no need for all these books.

 

I threw out the copies I had of To Train Up A Child and Created to Be His Helpmeet. Fortunately, they've been quoted many times online, so I found the exact passage:In chapter 5 of To Train Up A Child, Michael Pearl states:

 

"Any spanking, to effectively reinforce instruction, must cause pain, but the most pain is on the surface of bare skin where the nerves are located. A surface sting will cause sufficient pain, with no injury or bruising. Select your instrument according to the child's size. For the under one year old, a little, ten- to twelve-inch long, willowy branch (striped of any knots that might break the skin) about one-eighth inch diameter is sufficient. Sometimes alternatives have to be sought. A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective."

 

It turns out that Debi Pearl didn't directely say in Created To Be A Helpmeet that a wife must stay with her child-molestor of a husband while her children are in danger, but Michael Pearl does on their website (which must have been where I read it back when I was researching all of this a few years ago):

 

 

But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution. Will this glorify God? Forever.

 

I'm not anti-spanking, though it's more of a last resort on our household, and I have several dear friends who really like the Pearls, so I've made my peace to agreeing to disagree with them. Yet I'm still deeply troubled by the popularity of their books, and feel an obligation to openly report what they actually teach. That's all.

[buddhabelly]

My favorites are "How to Raise a Happy, Unspoiled Child" and "The First Three Years of Life." Both are by Burton White. I can't say how thankful I am that I found them when my son was a baby. They are not inconsistent with attachment parenting, so don't let the "unspoiled" in the title fool you. I also enjoyed the books by Dr. Sears.

 

Julie

[MOM24WONDERS]

I express my apologies on the "willowy branch"...I didn't remember reading it, but after pulling my copy, I see it. However, a "willowy branch" and a "tree limb" are two TOTALLY different things. Anyone that's ever lived in the south knows what a switch is :lol: A switch is a SMALL, THIN, whispy twig - not enough to really hurt anyone.

 

On an older child, it must reflect some sort of pain - not beating or abusing, but enough of a "sting" to realize it's the consequence. NOT on a baby. We used a skewer or hand-pop when ours were little (over 1 year). Never causing real pain, but to let them have a physical consequence of their disobediance.

 

I don't agree with staying with a child molestor nor would I ever do so. Like, I said, I don't agree with everything that he says - that is one of them! Personally, all perverts who look at or touch children should not be allowed to live. That's my .02

 

Oh, well...that's not what this thread is about anyway. Back to the parenting books. I still think Jumping Ship is one of the best around - even if you don't agree with his other stuff - everyone should read that one. It's about keeping the heart of your child during the young adult years - awesome book. Great advice that works!

[MOM24WONDERS]

Oh, one more quick thing- we do NOT advocate the using of a belt to spank our children.

 

The Bible says "Spare the rod and spoil the child", it also says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him."

 

It does'nt say the belt or the paddle or even the hand. It says the rod - and we use a small dowel rod for this purpose. Precisely on the rump - as our pediatrician says - the place God made for it :)

 

I do think I might have read somewhere that the Pearls have now come back and advocated the use of the rod, but I could be wrong.

 

Again, I don't agree with everything they say - but I think their 5 grown, wonderful, well-adjusted kids ought to say alot in their defense.

[Myrrh]

Thank you MOM24WONDERS. It's refreshing to know you feel the same way about child molestors as I do, even if we don't see eye to eye on the other Pearls' teachings. I'm sure we have lots more in common too :)

[Myrrh]

Resurrecting this thread because there was dialogue about the Pearls here, and I'd rather not repeat myself in the newer thread.

[TXMary2]

Sheparding a Child's Heart

 

The Five Love Languages of Children

 

Bringing Up Boys (this one really set me free as the only woman in the house!!)

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

My absolute favorites are Shepherding Your Child's Heart by Ted Tripp, Hints on Child Training by Clay Trumbull and Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl. I also really enjoyed (and have read several times) To Train Up a Child by Michael Pearl. I can't say that I agree 100% with the things in THAT book, but he is a very wise man and I enjoy his family's teachings. Jumping Ship was an AWESOME book. I highly, highly recommend that parents read it before their children hit the pre-pub years.

 

:ack2:

I strongly disagree with the Pearl's books. I would not want to ever support a book that recommends child abuse IMHO.

[dtb1999]

Favorite parenting book - is not really a book but a series of notebooks and cds called "Mom's Notes". Carla Link and her husband who are both affliated with Growing Kids wrote the series based on the Ezzo's parenting philosphy. EXCELLENT advice for everything you encounter as a parent for ALL ages. She even discusses things like different personalities and how to handle them- building a family identity, etc. If you are interested, she has a website www.momsnotes.com. I'll admit, the series is very expensive, but if you have friends/families that can go in on it with you, it helps. Definitely worth every penny!

 

Anything Ezzo-based would not be worth one cent in my book. Flame away, I'm ready! :tongue_smilie:

[jenL]

Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel.

 

This really resonated with us. I'm currently reading Hold On to Your Kids, and I'm really liking it as well.

[Parrothead]

I do not read parenting books. I do see the need to go beyond common sense. I do not see how the latest parenting fad will do anything except possibly mess up my kid. We have instincts for a reason. We should not have to be told to pick the baby up, put the baby down, breastfeed, don't breastfeed, ignore a tantrum, cater to a tantrum, etc., etc., etc.,

 

What if one reads multiple parenting books at different stages of a child's life, and each book tells you something different? Time to change the rules for the 3rd, 4th or 5th time. No wonder one has trouble with one's kids. They can't keep up with the changes.

Edited February 27, 2010 by Parrothead

[stripe]

I found the book NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman to be an interesting read, especially on the issue of the usefulness of reading parenting books. And the fact that they've studied the effects certain parenting styles have (including to some degree in different cultures) on children, e.g. how much children lie.

[Joanne]

The Bible says "Spare the rod and spoil the child", it also says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him."

 

.

 

 

Actually, it does not. Not in any translation, not in any Bible.

 

It's often attributed to the Bible, but that quote is NOT in there.

 

It's from a poem written by Samuel Butler written to *mock* the Puritans and their rigid, legalistic way of life.

[OnTheBrink]

This is an interesting article on what the rod is and what it means:

http://www.helium.com/items/274817-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-explained

 

This is several different interpretations and meanings by different people:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin13.htm

[6packofun]

Yes, Boundaries with Kids is a favorite here, along with The Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman.

[stripe]

Actually, it does not. Not in any translation, not in any Bible.

 

It's often attributed to the Bible, but that quote is NOT in there.

 

It's from a poem written by Samuel Butler written to *mock* the Puritans and their rigid, legalistic way of life.

 

Oh, it's another phantom verse? Like "God helps those who help themselves"? Amazing. Thanks for this post.

[OnTheBrink]

Oh, it's another phantom verse? Like "God helps those who help themselves"? Amazing. Thanks for this post.

 

"God helps those who help themselves" is actually counter to the Bible's teaching on trusting and depending on God. There are verses about how a lazy man won't eat, and how if you want to eat, you'd better work, but that's not really the same concept, at least, not how I've seen the "God helps those..." applied.

[6packofun]

I always thought Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp was sort of the follow-up book...

[stripe]

"God helps those who help themselves" is actually counter to the Bible's teaching on trusting and depending on God.

That's exactly why I've always found it so odd that so many people say it. Maybe it's a way to pass the buck and blame the victim (go help yourselves and leave me alone). ??

[elw_miller]

What book would you say is the best parenting book you have ever read?

The Baby Book. Dr. William Sears

The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic. by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

The Discipline Book. by Dr. William Sears

 

Interestingly enough, here are some other books that I've found have helped me, even though they aren't exactly parenting books: Nurtureshock. by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman; Endangered Minds. by Jane M. Healy; and Einstein Never Used Flashcards by Kathy Hirsh-Pacek.

[Daisy]

This is another raised-from-the-dead thread.

 

Agreeing with another person who said they don't like parenting books. I cannot stand them.

 

Nothing has helped my parenting more than...

 

1. Pursuing my faith.

2. Dealing with anger from my childhood.

3. Pursuing a positive lifestyle (education, exercise, etc.)

 

None of that was found in a parenting book.

 

Healthy individuals model good parenting, imo. If you are not in a healthy place, all the parenting books in the world are not going to help you.

[catherine smith]

Growing Kid's God's Way or Babywise-they are the same, Babywise is just the secular version.

[gaillardia]

Any of Erma Bombeck's books.

[Lilymax]

Anything by John Rosemond. He offers the most practical, down-to-earth, no-nonsense parenting advice I've ever read. It's gotten me through many a rough spot!

[skaterbabs]

Mac Bledsoe's book, Parenting With Dignity, is really good.