sacgw Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 MANY years ago, as my younger brother was entering puberty, a male friend had told me to be aware that boys will have these bouts of anger for no apparent reason. He said that when going through puberty that they will have rushes of angry emotions and not know what to do about it or why they feel that way. Now that I have my own children and am having issues with my son, I brought this topic up with my husband. My husband says it's not true. He doesn't remember it happening to him and that this guy was full of poo. Looking at how hormones can affect us women,and my 7yr old daughter, and how we can start crying for no reason (or at least the hormones affect some of us that way :-) ), this "theory" makes sense to me. It does not excuse the actions that result from the anger but I am trying to understand where these episodes are coming from. So my question is to the Dad's -- do you buy into this theory? Did you experience surges of unexplained anger when growing up? Have your sons experienced such? Now for Mom's or H.S. Dad's, myself and a friend both have boys that are 9yrs old. We are both having similar issues with our sons. We live 5 hrs from each other so this is not something the boys are encouraging each other to do. Both of our sons have become very disrespectful and ready to battle at EVERY tiny thing. My son will wake up angry, or some days he's in a fantastic mood, then all of a sudden he's defiant,disrespectful, unruly, ANGRY about everything then 30min later he's calm and kind and has no reason as to why he acted the way he did. I even had him answer a 2 page questionnaire on respect and letting him know he would not get in trouble for any of the answers, I just wanted him to answer them honestly. I asked his definition of respect, how to show it, if he knew we loved him, if he felt we were ever unfair with discipline, why he was disrespectful at times, etc... He knows what respect is, he doesn't know why he is disrespectful or at least his answer was that he didn't know why. Is this a phase? Is this something all boys do? Is he just testing me to see when he can take control of his life? He is getting more and more "mouthy" and it's unacceptable! Sure there is plenty of room for improvement in the area of showing me respect from his father,his example, but my husband shows me more respect than his father EVER showed toward his mother and my husband has ALWAYS been respectful to his mom. When my son gets in the disrespectful moods, he can end up without t.v., computer, bike, skateboard, sugar, every single pleasure for a week within 2 hrs. I will give him a warning and tell him it is unacceptable to speak to me or put his hands on me other than in a loving manner (i.e. hug) and if it is done again he will lose whatever matters most to him that day for a specified amount of time. I start with one item and one day. But his behavior continues and so do the restrictions-- all to no avail. So I want to also hear from those who don't have boys that are mouthy, disrespectful, defiant---please tell me how you did it!Please! And if you think it's the hormones that initiate these angry episodes, how do I curb them. How do you teach your child how to manage his anger? Thank you in advance for all answers/suggestions/ideas Leah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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