stephanie Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 I am schooling 6th, 5th, and 3rd graders. The younger two are girls and are very independent in their work. When I say to get started they will do all of their work that they can do independently like handwriting, ETC, Spelling, fact sheets, etc. However, my 6th grade ds requires so much of my supervision. He's always staring off into space, thinking about ball games or his toys. He's very bright and very capable of doing the work, but he causes me great frustration because of the constant re-directing I have to do. At the end of the day his distractions have cost us time and extended our day much longer than it could've been. I've wanted him to begin working more independently because, well, he is in 6th grade. But there is no question that when he and I sit together while he works and we talk things through that he is very efficient, and enjoys me being there. So...my question is if I should try to give him some more time to mature and sit with him when I see he may need it, or should I just force him to discipline himself (which obviously he can't). I don't want to be manipulated, of course, but I do want to take advantage of the fact that home schooling does allow me to sit one-in-one with my kids if needed. I'd love to hear from y'all asap because I would like to not pull my hair out today! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire up north Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 How about gently ramping up the independent requirements? For example, sit with him through almost all of his day except for 10 minutes of reading or typing or letter-writing. Tell him your goal is to have him be able to work more independently, but that you will start with just 10 minutes. Set a timer. See how it goes. hth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 It's such a fine line. I've know (two) families where the 6th-7th grade boy really was playing the mom for fool and getting her to practically do the work for him, but I don't think that is usually the problem. I think as long as you are just re-directing and not giving him answers, it's not a problem, at least. Homeschooling is like anything else: you get out of it what you put in. You will get better results if you sit with him until he matures some more. I know many homeschoolers aim to have their dc as independent as possible, but remember that even in school he would get instruction and re-direction from a teacher at that age. My goal is to teach them and interact with them, but then to have them do an assignment to practice or extend the concepts on their own. I would start using some timed work at first. If he doesn't get the work done in the given time, then he has to give something up that he enjoys to finish the work. Start with one subject. For a week or so, keep track of how much time it takes him to finish and then figure out what a reasonable amount of time would be to finish. Then the next week, give him that time limit. Also, teach him ways to help himself concentrate: thinking techniques while he is reading, etc. I would also check to make sure that the work isn't too easy. That was the problem with my dawdler (middle dd.) Once I adjusted her math up to her correct level, she started engaging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Does he work in a distraction free environment, i.e. away from his toys and stuff? Is it sufficient for you to be in the room to keep him on task, or do you have to actually sit with him and handhold him through the assignment? I'd have no problem being in the same room if that would help. Is his schoolwork interesting for him and is he engaged in the topics? Does he have an input, or do you just assign? What helped a lot with my minimalist DS (also 6th grade) was to have HIM choose what he wants to work on. He is required to put in four hours of work on core subjects a day, but gets to choose the sequence and the subjects (with the exception of math which happens daily first thing in the morning), and when time is up he is done. I find that expecting long hours compromises quality and concentration, so I am happy with four hours of good focused work. Breaks don't count towards his time. Since he knows he will be done he is very good about staying on task and finishing by lunch. DS also gets to select his history readings, from an assortment of suggestions I make. I find it helps keeping him focused if he feels he gets a say in his education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 If he's the distractible type, you have to work with that. My dd is independent, but only in short bursts (10-30 minutes). I give her short tasks and set a timer so I remember to come back and check on her. You might want to do some reading on ADD/ADHD, distractible children, etc., even if you don't think the label applies. There might be ideas you could use. He might do better with some movement. Or maybe as Angela said the level is off. He might need more breaks. Someone told me what my dd needs is STRUCTURE. I didn't get what "structure" meant for education, and certainly that isn't the most common advice around here, where it's always people modifying, shifting, going with the flow. Well STRUCTURE means a schedule, an actual time chart and a plan: at 9 we do this, at 10 we do this. New concept for me. We're trying it though, and it's giving us some peace. If she takes too long, the rest goes to later and we move on. If we get off schedule, we know what is next when we get back by looking at the clock. I'm making a lot of effort to make her work very clear and quantified, not shifting as the day goes on. Well that's a ramble. It's a learning process. It's not shocking that your boy isn't like your girls. Could be gender, could be clinical. In any case, you can make some modifications to help it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanie Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 Great suggestions! I have considered ADD/ADHD as ds15 is ADD, along with SPD. We have a school house in the back of our yard which we school in every day. Distractions would be his sisters, but they are usually working. I usually have on soft music, but that's it. He is able to do the work, and does not want me to do the work for him. He likes for me to sit with him, read directions with him and explain anything he may not get (which I would do anyway). But there's something about me sitting there with him; I guess it doesn't allow him to get distracted-he focuses better. He is not the type that I could let him choose what to study. He would no doubt find a way to make it as easy as possible on himself! :D He did much better today as I put him in the house with me while I was inside and turned his desk away from the windows. Throughout the day he would ask me questions or talk while he was working that had nothing to do with school like, "Mom, I had a dream you broke your arm in the car door", or "Mom, why does this keep getting stuck in my teeth". I would just gently re-direct him to his work and tell him we could talk about that when he was finished. So it worked well. He did all of his work today with no issues. I just would like for most days to be like this. So the battle continues...thank you again!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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