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If you are "wearing" or have "worn" your baby....


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when did you stop?

 

I am not much into labels so I don't think I completely "qualify" as "attachment parenting" but we do co-sleep with all of our kids until they decided to sleep on their own. I feed babies on demand not a schedule. I rocked all my babies to sleep. And I have worn or carried all of my children.

 

Baby girl just turned 1 year old and she seems to want to be carried still all the time even though she can walk (started at 10 months). I don't have a problem with it and neither does her ahma (who also wears or carries her most of the day) and she is so small for her age that she isn't that heavy.

 

Sooooo...my mom thinks we have "spoiled" her and that we should not still be wearing/carrying her at age 1. She is such a small thing, only about 16 pounds, it's no trouble. She is also my most "cuddly" child...loves to cuddle! But my mom insists it is "time" to stop.

 

What says the baby-wearing hive members?

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My oldest, I carried on my hip with my sling when we were out and about until I was too pregnant with my 2nd. She was about 2. I did the same with my youngest but I would also use the sling when she was ill or unhappy and she would bring me the sling and I would strap her to my belly so that she could cuddle but I could still have free arms. I think I finally loaned the sling out when she was about 3 and 1/2 but it was her security blanket until then.:001_smile:

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We definitely fall into the "attachment parenting" category. I have the Ergo and would just let them ride until they didn't want to be in it anymore. They hit that developmental stage where they start wanting to walk and explore things.

 

Also, traditionally...Korean women would wear their babies until they were 2 and that was considered very normal, not spoiling them. My MIL said it was very common for kids to not be walking on their own until late 1 because they were being trucked around all day. We Americans are so fast-paced and goal-oriented, it seems like spoiling to carry them at that age. :tongue_smilie:

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I wore/wear my babies. One is definitely still a baby!!! Wear her!

 

Meg has been the one I've worn the longest. I still carry her in the Ergo when we're out for long periods - like the zoo or at Disney. She's also tiny - so that helps. She'll be 5 next month and weighs about 27 pounds.

 

The boys would still want to be held when we were out for long periods when they were that age too, but they were much bigger! So, we usually took a stroller too. (Last year, William rode in the stroller (at 9!) after a long day at Disney!!) I think I stopped wearing them by around 3 and they're certainly not spoiled or dependent!!! LOL

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when did you stop?

 

I am not much into labels so I don't think I completely "qualify" as "attachment parenting" but we do co-sleep with all of our kids until they decided to sleep on their own. I feed babies on demand not a schedule. I rocked all my babies to sleep. And I have worn or carried all of my children.

 

Baby girl just turned 1 year old and she seems to want to be carried still all the time even though she can walk (started at 10 months). I don't have a problem with it and neither does her ahma (who also wears or carries her most of the day) and she is so small for her age that she isn't that heavy.

 

Sooooo...my mom thinks we have "spoiled" her and that we should not still be wearing/carrying her at age 1. She is such a small thing, only about 16 pounds, it's no trouble. She is also my most "cuddly" child...loves to cuddle! But my mom insists it is "time" to stop.

 

What says the baby-wearing hive members?

 

 

 

If this is not causing anyone any problems, meaning baby or care givers, I would do what feels right and comfortable. There is no "wrong" here.

.

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All three of mine are boys, BIG boys, but I remember carrying both the oldest and middle frequently, and them "riding" in a carrier of some kind, until the next sib was born. That would have been 3 1\2 and 4 1\2. Of course by then it wasn't all day, just when we were out somewhere or they needed a brief "pick me up" LOL. For us it kind of naturally wore down as they got more interested in other things and got so heavy it was hard to tote them around. But I will emphasize, even at age 1, it wasn't all day, just for periods of the day when I could do it and they were interested.

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I always wear the 1 yo when out, well unless dh is holding her. It is just easier with 2 other kids I don't have to worry about her getting into anything. The 3.5 yo still gets wore on long walks or hikes. I can wear her but usually dh does and I will wear the 1 yo.

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I wore DD until I was 20 weeks pregnant with DS - she was 2.5. DS is 19 months and I wear him whenever he lets me.

Actually I wore DD (now 4.5) on a strenuous hike for about 40 minutes a few weeks ago. DS had gone to sleep on DH's back and she couldn't walk any further. Thank goodness I had another sling in my bag :)

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I've never worn my babies (never heard of it until my kids were older), but I don't think one is too old. You'll know when she's too old, and that's probably different for every parent/kid. God made her *your* child for a reason!

 

I say enjoy her babyhood while you can. Mine are almost 19, 16, and 13. I wish I could go back and savor those moments longer!

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Enjoy it! She will soon be too independant to be carried or even have her hand held.

Whenever I have felt like someone was imposing their parenting "rules" onto me I would ask my self if I ever saw an adult practicing this behavior.

Do you ever see and adult sucking their thumb, who is not potty trained, who still carries their blankie, who still has their mama carring them around, still needs mama to rock them to sleep? Kids grow and mature out of those things, naturally. You, on the other hand never get that time back.

My Dee-Dee didn't come to me until she was almost two and almost through the rocking/cuddling age. I still wish I could have held her more.

Hold that baby now, one day you'll have to let her go.

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I agree with previous posters. My youngest is 2.5 and the only reason I don't wear him anymore is because he is 35 pounds. He hurts my back! The last time I wore him was at the airport in April. That was when I decided it was the last time :) Although I do keep my maitai in the van just-in-case!

 

ETA: I wish I had known about baby wearing with my first two, and co-sleeping and such. I regret that I didn't! Wear your baby as long as you like I say!

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My ds and I were talking the other day about the fact that when he was 2 or 3 my entire family repeatedly told me, "Put that baby down, or he'll never learn to walk." He just checked in a few minutes ago. He's safely back at his apratment in Tokyo after coming home for Christmas.

 

 

Now for the baby wearing, I wore my middle child until well after I was pregnant with my youngest - so until she was almost 4. I remember a few times wearing them both - just because I could and my middle really needed it.

 

The youngest was worn almost constantly for the first 2 years of her life because I was busy and took her with me. I stopped wearing her when she got big enough to do a really comfy carry on my back without a carrier. I still pick her up and put her on like a backpack when she's tired.

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My oldest was never "worn" because she hated it. My second was in the sling almost non-stop until it hurt my back. She is a big child.:001_smile: My 3rd didn't care for the carrier. My 4th was in my arms as much as possible until he was 3, I then had my 5th who didn't get carried as much since my 4th child still wanted to be held all the time. :001_smile:

 

Each child is different. You should do what works for you and your dd. Enjoy that baby!

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Thank you so much for these replies. We LOVE carrying here, wearing her in her sling, rocking her to sleep, etc. She loves to snuggle and I just am not ready to give that up. At this very moment she is asleep curled up on her daddy's chest. :001_smile:

 

Keep doing it! I wore my first thru my 2nd pgc and sometimes after that, and I rocked DD1 to sleep for a nap thru contractions before we headed to the hospital to give birth. LOL

 

True, we took a lot of flak for our baby-wearing, extended nursing (told it ruined DD for pacis! :lol: ), feed on demand, co-sleeping ways. Now that they are a bit older the critics only comment on how well-attached and easy to put to bed our kids are! :lol:

 

ETA: often parents are threatened when you choose to do something differently raising your own kids because it feels like you are criticizing their choices with you. Of course, it's not about them. The only people you have to answer to are yourself, your dh, and eventually your dc! Your baby's security is more important than your mom's insecurity. ;)

Edited by ChandlerMom
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It's right to stop when you stop :-)

 

I never wore my babies much, as it wasn't comfortable, but I carried them for a long time. Ds is nearly 4yrs, and I don't carry him that much anymore. Some time ago I happened to pick him up as we walked across a parking lot, and he wrapped his legs around my waist, and snuggled his head on my shoulder and told me I didn't carry him much anymore, and that he liked it. Carrying =spoiling? He didn't seem to think so. Carrying = loved? Definitely!

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I wore my third until he got too heavy and wanted to be independent. It's hard to keep up with two older brothers when you're in a sling so off he went. He was around 1. I still wore him occasionally after that but not much because he preferred walking like a big boy. If I'd worn my oldest, it would have been longer since he was very light for his age (still is!) and didn't have anyone to keep up with. I didn't even know what a sling was 6.5 years ago. I definitely don't think 1yo is too old to be worn, especially for your bitty thing.

 

FWIW, I'm not an AP just enjoy the convenience, comfort, and closeness of baby-wearing. I just got a new sling for this next boy (EDD March) and am so excited!

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I wear mine a lot less now that he's getting nearer to a year old. I still wear him in situations where we are walking around a lot and the stroller is inconvenient. I wore him to a graduation a few weeks ago. He enjoys it still. I sometimes snatch him up and wear him while I'm doing stuff around the house, just to keep him out of things and to know that I know where he is all the time!! :001_smile:

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Isn't one of the reasons you took the job in Malaysia to get away from your mother? Do not let her get to you! Be the parent you want to be- You're a good one!! Do what you think is best for your children. She had her turn. Don't let this woman make you second guess yourself! Carry that beautiful baby for as long as you can!! I miss having dc who I can carry, or who will fit on my lap. :( :grouphug::grouphug:

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I carried or wore mine until they were three or four. They were all little and light and we all more comfortable that way. 16yo youngest is about to leave for Japan. The older two are at a maritime academy, arranging their summer coops on ships. I think they are more independent than many children because their needs were fully met when they were little. My friends who insisted on a certain amount of independence early on all had clingy, timid children. I, also, was given dire predictions of children who would be dependent forever, spoiled, etc. Instead mine were angelic when they were little and independent teenagers.

: )

-Nan

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I always thought it was spoiling me.:grouphug: They grow up so fast, and spoiling with love just wasn't on my worry list.

 

when did you stop?

 

I am not much into labels so I don't think I completely "qualify" as "attachment parenting" but we do co-sleep with all of our kids until they decided to sleep on their own. I feed babies on demand not a schedule. I rocked all my babies to sleep. And I have worn or carried all of my children.

 

Baby girl just turned 1 year old and she seems to want to be carried still all the time even though she can walk (started at 10 months). I don't have a problem with it and neither does her ahma (who also wears or carries her most of the day) and she is so small for her age that she isn't that heavy.

 

Sooooo...my mom thinks we have "spoiled" her and that we should not still be wearing/carrying her at age 1. She is such a small thing, only about 16 pounds, it's no trouble. She is also my most "cuddly" child...loves to cuddle! But my mom insists it is "time" to stop.

 

What says the baby-wearing hive members?

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Usually around 18 months the carrying stops for us - I invested in a good back carrier (Beco) when DS was a baby and still use it with DD at the grocery store when she decides to climb out of the cart and try to run around. It's comfortable even with an almost-2-year-old.

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Isn't one of the reasons you took the job in Malaysia to get away from your mother? Do not let her get to you! Be the parent you want to be- You're a good one!! Do what you think is best for your children. She had her turn. Don't let this woman make you second guess yourself! Carry that beautiful baby for as long as you can!! I miss having dc who I can carry, or who will fit on my lap. :( :grouphug::grouphug:

 

This made me LAUGH... you are so right. Even over skype she still manages to get to me...sheesh. :tongue_smilie: I seem to have misplaced my big girl panties again... :D

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Ha! Yeah, Unicorn is right! You are so lucky to have Baby Girl. If she's light anyway, carry on.

 

I wore babies but two of mine were tanks. Wearing stopped by 6 months because it...well, it wore on me! :D They destroyed my back, no matter the sling, no matter the position. My youngest was worn only for maybe 4 or 5 months. I got an Ergo after that, but he was hardly ever in there.

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when did you stop?

 

I am not much into labels so I don't think I completely "qualify" as "attachment parenting" but we do co-sleep with all of our kids until they decided to sleep on their own. I feed babies on demand not a schedule. I rocked all my babies to sleep. And I have worn or carried all of my children.

 

Baby girl just turned 1 year old and she seems to want to be carried still all the time even though she can walk (started at 10 months). I don't have a problem with it and neither does her ahma (who also wears or carries her most of the day) and she is so small for her age that she isn't that heavy.

 

Sooooo...my mom thinks we have "spoiled" her and that we should not still be wearing/carrying her at age 1. She is such a small thing, only about 16 pounds, it's no trouble. She is also my most "cuddly" child...loves to cuddle! But my mom insists it is "time" to stop.

 

What says the baby-wearing hive members?

 

Without having read all the other replies, I carried DD5 until she realized she could choose to walk instead (16 months). After that she never wanted to be carried anymore. I would have gladly carried her for longer though! Ignore your mother :D

 

(DD8 was in a sling off and on but never really liked being bundled in that way, she wasn't carried much. By the time I had DD5, I had discovered mei tai carriers, which made us all much happier!)

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It really depends on the baby/child.

 

My first baby was up and walking by 9 months and very active before that. She loved to be held...but, on her terms. My third son was the exact same. He self weaned by a year old.

 

Now my second baby was a high needs baby. He was worn and exclusively breastfed for the first 18months of his life!!!!!! He too walked by 9 months. Not wearing/in arms parenting him would have been a disaster. He really, really NEEDED it.

 

IMO, parents should wear a baby/practice in-arms parenting until it is no longer needed/wanted. It's a very special time...a time that last such a short period and you can never get back.

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I wore my babies until they were too big for the sling - around age 3. Now this does not mean I wore them the same amount of time at age 3 as I did when they were 6 months old. They gradually spent less and less time in the sling. By the time they were toddlers, it was mostly an aid for me to carry them rather than a way to keep them with me. My middle child (the sensory avoider) spent more time in the sling that the other ones, mostly because the sling was a way to keep him calm in highly stimulating environments (noisy, lots of people, lots of activity.) Once the others were walking well, they were happy to spend most of their cuddle time in my lap rather than being carried.

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Dd has always been a lightweight, so I used the mei tai as late as 4yrs old but only in certain situations. Through 3 quite often. Yes, she could walk, but if she wanted to be carried, in she went. She is still below the max weight for our carrier, but it's stored away now. Your Dd is still a baby. Enjoy the cuddles and closeness for as long as you can. Tune your mom out. It's your turn!

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when did you stop?

 

I wore all my kids until they were about 3. I'm a tiny person, and it was much easier to use the sling to hold a kid on my hip than to hold them there without it!

 

None of them were "spoiled," and none of them now expect to be carried. :) I wish they did... I miss it! My older two are now taller than me, so it wouldn't work, but I have very fond memories of my baby and toddler wearing days. My kids were all small for their ages too. (My youngest is only 3rd percentile, and could still easily be slung on my hip.)

 

Personally, I think it's entirely age appropriate for a toddler to want to be carried, regardless of whether they were "worn" or not. They're at an age when they're caught between babyhood and independence.

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I wore 1st in a sling 'til 2nd was born, when 1st was about 30 months old. I wasn't wearing him daily at that point -- I'd say I wore him *frequently* (several times a day) 'til about 1.5, then almost daily 'til 2 or so (and I was pregnant then), and less and less frequently after that. Even occasionally after #2 was born...

 

Child #2 wasn't as obsessively fond of the sling when she was an infant, but I still wore her a fair amount. By 2-2.5, she was mostly not being worn any more, though when she was 3, we were on a trip with *lots* of very extended family around, and after three days, I stopped and bought a big scarf and tied her on my hip and pulled the scarf up over her head when she got overwhelmed. She was an itty-bitty thing, and it really helped her not experience total meltdown from the onslaught of people... The last time I wore her in a sling, we were at Disney World, and it was the week before she turned 4. I hadn't worn her in months, at that point, but it was useful to us then.

 

With both kids, as they get larger and more mobile on their own, our sling use just naturally decreased. Much as it does with carrying or stroller-use... They just don't need it as much, after a while, and eventually you realize you haven't done it in a nice long time.

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I wore my daughter until she was about 41/2. She got uncomfortably tall rather than too heavy. I wore my son regularly until around the time he turned 2. He doesn't really like being in a sling. He would rather be off running and it has always been a fight to get him in them but I do still use a sling with him once or twice a month.

 

I wore my daughter on my back and my ds on my front for a while when he was little.

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Erm what else do you do with a 1 year old other then carry them or put them in a stroller? It isn't like they are going to be willing to walk for miles, or let's be honest, most of the time I can't deal with them constantly walking anyways, especially if I have somewhere I need to be. So it is either carry them or stick them in a stroller. No one I know looks oddly at a child in a stroller at 1, why would it be different for a carrier, I know it is for some reason, but it shouldn't be.

 

That being said I think I stopped regularly carrying DS in a carrier at 3, though now at almost 4 I would still carry him if he needed it, or to be fair make DH do it since I am 27 weeks pregnant! I still carry DD who is 21 months old in the carrier and don't see stopping any time before she is 3 or so. Yes at 3 I don't carry them as much as I did at 6 months, since they can walk, but there are times when it is nice to be able to throw them on my back and go!

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I sort of use the same philosophy with baby wearing as I did with nursing: as long as both parties are happy with the arrangement, then it continues. :)

 

Riley was my first worn baby and she was 2.5 when I stopped carrying her in the sling. But she was 40 pounds, and I was in my 2nd trimester with Reece. I won't forget the last day I carried her in the sling... it was to pick up my husband from the airport literally days before 9/11. I had my belly poking out, Riley riding on the back with her feet reaching the backs of my knees, and holding 5 year old Austin by the hand. My husband took one look at us at the gate and laughed hysterically. He said he couldn't tell who was carrying who around!

 

Reece I sling-carried forever. Well, not now, but I really could have used the sling at Disney a few weeks ago! LOL I don't recall a definite decision to stop carrying her in the sling. She was happier there than anywhere else.

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