Moving in with family to save money

[jld]

There's an article on this today in the NYT:

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/29/us/29families.html?ref=us

 

I know we've talked about this before, but it's been a little while. If you're living with family, how's it going? Do you see a lot more of this around you?

[jld]

bump

[LisaKinVA]

Yes. We see it a lot more. Married families moving back in with parents, and parents moving in with their married children.

 

We aren't talking elderly parents, either.

 

Depending upon market conditions, mortgage rates, etc. My family is planning to build a home to suit both my parents, my dh parents and ourselves in about 5-7 years when my father retires.

 

My parents will occupy a 2BR suite in the basement (with a drive-around, and private entrance). My family will occupy the main two floors. My in-laws will have a 2BR suite over the workshop he will share with his father. At least, that's the plan. We would have built this house now, but my father wasn't ready -- and we can't keep occupying the basement without my losing what little grip I have left on my sanity. We've been here for almost 9 years. It was only supposed to be two -- but housing prices doubled, and we weren't about to buy a 1700 sq.ft. townhouse for $300,000 (you can now get that townhouse for $150k).

[cathmom]

I hope my mom will come live with us after my aunt passes away. Until then she cannot move away.

[jld]

Depending upon market conditions, mortgage rates, etc. My family is planning to build a home to suit both my parents, my dh parents and ourselves in about 5-7 years when my father retires.

 

My parents will occupy a 2BR suite in the basement (with a drive-around, and private entrance). My family will occupy the main two floors. My in-laws will have a 2BR suite over the workshop he will share with his father. At least, that's the plan. We would have built this house now, but my father wasn't ready -- and we can't keep occupying the basement without my losing what little grip I have left on my sanity. We've been here for almost 9 years. It was only supposed to be two -- but housing prices doubled, and we weren't about to buy a 1700 sq.ft. townhouse for $300,000 (you can now get that townhouse for $150k).

 

Your plan sounds realistic. I think the problem with the family in the article is that the kids only have a bedroom that is theirs. They don't have any independent living space.

[AnitaMcC]

There's an article on this today in the NYT:

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/29/us/29families.html?ref=us

 

I know we've talked about this before, but it's been a little while. If you're living with family, how's it going? Do you see a lot more of this around you?

 

 

Well, not exactly the same here... but I have three adults living with us because they can't afford a place on their own. A good friend (like a sister, and is Godmother to Ds#2) moved in with us in October. Nephews... 30yr old and 21 yr old, are still living with us as it is just too much for them to rent a place on their own around here.

 

My mom had to move in with us (IL) when she couldn't afford to stay on her own in AR. She stayed with us for about 1 1/2 years. She was able to move back home to IN in June into an assisted living complex. She loves it there and she is near her sister and brother and their families.

 

Two of Dh's brothers (with wives) lived with his parents for a while. It was due to financial reasons for both. But this was some years ago and both were living on Long Island where it is common that young families can not live on their own. One stayed at parents for about a year and then moved to Ohio to be near SIL family and more affordable. The other stayed for three years before able to move and they had to go off Long Island and now BIL has to commute 1 1/2 hours for his job.

Edited December 29, 2010 by AnitaMcC

[Impish]

I think I'd lose what sanity I have if either of my parents moved in, or MIL. Or we moved in with any of them.

 

Both of my younger bros lived with my parents after getting married, until they saved up enough for a down payment on a house, but they also pd nominal rent to cover the extra utility bills.

 

Given the choice btwn a shelter and living with parents, I can't imagine anyone choosing a shelter, myself included.

 

I could imagine camping for a month or two in nice weather though. :D

[jld]

You are clearly a kind and generous person, Anita.

[BigMamaBird]

Yeah, we're living with my folks.:glare:

 

We had been trying to sell our trailer for five years. Instead of saving up for a down payment we sunk every spare cent into paying the place off so in a worst case scenario we could at least junk the thing. Finally some one came along and bought the place, or rather, we practically gave them the thing. But the important bit is, we're out!

 

So now we're living with my parents. The kids each have their own room upstairs with my Mom and Dad, and my dh and I are living in the basement.

 

I guess it's going alright. There are a lot of times where I just bite my tongue and repeat to myself that it's their home, they're doing us a major favor and I must honor my parents. It's hard sharing a kitchen with another woman, even if she is my Mom. They are having a hard time not getting to be "Grandparents" but actually having to follow through with rules with the kids rather than "oh isn't that cute! Now give them candy and let them jump on the furniture."

 

And . . . well . . . it's a bit awkward come "tea time" if you know what I mean.

 

But it's temporary. I can do anything for a year. And they are helping us in all the ways they can. And it's temporary. Did I mention that it's temporary. *deep breath*

[Lolly]

We moved in with fil, wow!, about 4 years ago after mil died. We still own our home which is only about a block away. The kids each have a bedroom on the second floor. Fil has the main floor. Dh and I are in the basement. We have a family room area that we have taken a portion of for our bedroom. Fil mostly sticks to his floor. It has been...difficult at times. Fil says that the two floors are ours to do with what we wish. The house has been put into our names. But, it is still his house in his mind. Our main problems come from him trying to impose his house rules on the kids. He doesn't agree with the way dh and I do things at all. We have only had one major blow up over it. He seems to be afraid to push it again. If he does, I will walk and he can deal with living on his own. We would not move back into our old house. We would move farther away and not be available to assist him except for once a month or so. I have the oddest feeling that he knows this and isn't about to cross that line again. For the first 2 years or so, I was constantly telling him, " Not your business." He has stopped trying to parent my children when dh and I are around. When we are not here, he has a bit more trouble with the concept. The kids can always escape to our house if necessary. Ds often does if he is here alone. On the plus side, fil is in excellent health now. He would probably have been dead within a few more months if we hadn't moved in. He was spending 3/4ths of his time in the hospital when we were trying to come over every single day to make sure he had a decent dinner.

[AnitaMcC]

You are clearly a kind and generous person, Anita.

 

ROFL... not really... :lol::lol::lol:

[Anne in CA]

One of the librarians at my library lives with her parents. She and her husband sold their house and her parents sold their house and they used the equity to buy an older house that they fixed up that has no mortgage payment. But each couple has a master suite with a bathroom and kitchenette. All they share is a common entertaining area and the lawn and garage.

[Mekanamom]

Yep- we have a house and a smaller cottage on the property.

 

First try: MIL moved in and that did NOT work.

 

Second try: FIL moved in and that has worked out wonderfully.

 

I think a lot of it just has to do with the personalities involved.

[mcconnellboys]

We're expecting this to be more and more commonplace in future....