Picking a grade for your HSed child

[lisamarie]

If you have to pick a grade for your child to be in (for church, scouts, other reasons), how do you go about doing that with a child when it's not very clear? By age, my DS could be in either 1st or 2nd grade based on MI's Dec 1 cut-off and DS's Oct birthday. We started him out in PS in Young 5s rather than kindergarten due to maturity reasons. We pulled him out after a year and 2 months for academic reasons (he was way beyond kindergarten work). So with HSing, on paper, DS technically skipped kindergarten.

 

When asked which grade DS is in, I never really know how to answer that question. Is he in 1st grade as that was the track we started out on, or is he in 2nd grade since that's his true grade had we started him on time and that is where he is academically? Eventually we do plan to put him back in school and I would have no clue what grade to register him for.

[Mom2J112903]

It would most likely depend on what state you are registering him. With a Dec. 1st cut-off, my son would technically be in 2nd Grade. Here in AL it is a Sept. 2nd cut-off, so he is technically in 1st Grade. While DH and I think about it, even with a Dec. 1st cut-off there is no way we would have placed J in school and would have held off a year. His b-day is Nov. 29th, way too close to a Dec. 1st cut-off for our comfort.

 

That all being said, J works on a 1st Grade level in Math but a much higher spelling and grammar level. So, when someone ask what grade he is in, I just nicely say that he is homeschooled and we do a little bit of this, a little bit of that and he is 7yrs old :)

[MaMa2005]

If he could be in either grade and he is doing fine with the higher grade level work, I would say he is in 2nd grade. Does he fit appropriately with second grade peers on a social/maturity scale? That would be the true defining matter for me.

[unsinkable]

lisamarie,

 

This is MY experience only, so YMMV and so may others'. :D

 

I have 2 boys with fall b-days and the cut-off here is Dec. 1.

 

They started K when 4 and then turned 5 soon after.

 

I regret it.

 

I homeschooled my oldest son thru 8th. My older DS is literally one of the youngest in his grade in HS (all boys, Catholic) b/c so many boys did NOT start when they were 4. Most of the fall b-day boys in his class are a year older than him. He is now a sophomore and most of the freshman he has met (thru classes, clubs and sports) with fall birthdays are the same age as him. It is such a disadvantage for DS (I think). I never realized how pervasive it is in this school/area.

 

Now my youngest DS is in the same situation with a fall birthday. He is 3 years younger than his older brother and he absolutely refuses to consider starting HS when he is 15 because he will miss being at HS when his brother is a senior. :glare:

 

If I had started them later, they still would have been 18 when they graduated. I also would have had them home with me one more year.

 

ETA: If you are planning on putting him back in school, I strongly recommend you choose to start telling him now he is in first grade. It could potentially save you much heartache later and put him in a very strong academic position when he does return.

Edited December 27, 2010 by unsinkable

[Alice]

This question comes up a lot here. What I see most people say is that they call the child the grade they would be in for public school even if they are doing higher level work.

 

We did the opposite of that and it works fine for us. My son would be in 1st grade in public school. He has a Nov birthday and the cutoff is Sept 30th. I started him in K when he was 4, almost 5. We've always called him the grade that most of his work corresponds to. So now he is in 2nd grade.

 

I think factors that influenced me to do it this way were that I skipped a grade and was always young for my grade and never minded. Our intention is that all our kids will do a gap year so he will still be starting college at 18, almost 19 which I think is good. And he missed the cutoff by only 6 weeks so isn't that much younger. It just seemed to me to make sense to call him the grade of the work we do.

 

For the most part, it has not been an issue at all. Ds has always played with kids older than him anyway. His best friend is 8, about 15 months older than him and in second grade in a private school. His other close friends tend to be anywhere from 6-18 months older. So I knew he had the maturity to be with the older kids. For most activities, people are fine with him going by grade and he does fine. Physically, he is slightly tall so he fits in fine also. Only once have we run into an activity that insisted on him being in the grade he would be in for public school (ironically it's our homeschool co-op) and that's been ok too.

 

The main downside that I didn't anticipate is that around here many people hold their boys back. I thought of him as being only 6 weeks younger by missing the cutoff but the reality is that if he was in a class the likelihood would be that he'd be over a year younger than most of the other boys. For him, this would probably be ok as he'd be on the same level with them physically, academically and maturity. But it might have been different if he was a different kid.

[unsinkable]

This question comes up a lot here. What I see most people say is that they call the child the grade they would be in for public school even if they are doing higher level work.

 

We did the opposite of that and it works fine for us. My son would be in 1st grade in public school. He has a Nov birthday and the cutoff is Sept 30th. I started him in K when he was 4, almost 5. We've always called him the grade that most of his work corresponds to. So now he is in 2nd grade.

 

I think factors that influenced me to do it this way were that I skipped a grade and was always young for my grade and never minded. Our intention is that all our kids will do a gap year so he will still be starting college at 18, almost 19 which I think is good. And he missed the cutoff by only 6 weeks so isn't that much younger. It just seemed to me to make sense to call him the grade of the work we do.

 

For the most part, it has not been an issue at all. Ds has always played with kids older than him anyway. His best friend is 8, about 15 months older than him and in second grade in a private school. His other close friends tend to be anywhere from 6-18 months older. So I knew he had the maturity to be with the older kids. For most activities, people are fine with him going by grade and he does fine. Physically, he is slightly tall so he fits in fine also. Only once have we run into an activity that insisted on him being in the grade he would be in for public school (ironically it's our homeschool co-op) and that's been ok too.

 

The main downside that I didn't anticipate is that around here many people hold their boys back. I thought of him as being only 6 weeks younger by missing the cutoff but the reality is that if he was in a class the likelihood would be that he'd be over a year younger than most of the other boys. For him, this would probably be ok as he'd be on the same level with them physically, academically and maturity. But it might have been different if he was a different kid.

 

According to your sig, he is still only 7, right?

[Farrar]

My twins could be K or 1st depending on where we lived - in our jurisdiction, they'd be 1st, but we're in DC surrounded by two other states where they would be K (the cutoff is the first of the month instead of the 30th there). For outside things, because they're pretty focused and can be very well-behaved in the ways that teachers want, I usually enroll them as 1st. But they're not all that great at sports so I enroll them as K for that - they did K soccer teams two years in a row and in the spring, I'll keep them in the K-1st T-ball team instead of moving them up to the 1st-2nd one. We're in two different small family co-op groups - one is all K'ers and the other is all 1st graders (though that one also has a couple of pre-K sibs who participate, meaning that they're not really the youngest). So I guess I think it's totally up to you and you can decide according to what makes sense.

[....]

As someone whose kids do all kinds of stuff with public schooled kids (boy scouts, girl scouts, basketball, cheerleading, baseball :glare:), I give them the same grade level designation as what they WOULD be if they had started ps when they were eligible. That places them in groups where they will be with "developmental peers". I wouldn't want my 8 yro son in a boy scout den with 6 yros. I wouldn't want my 9 yro daughter in a girl scout troop with 13 yros. Those are exaggerated examples, but you know what I'm trying to say? :confused: I really need to finish this cup of coffee before I make sense. :tongue_smilie:

[unsinkable]

My twins could be K or 1st depending on where we lived - in our jurisdiction, they'd be 1st, but we're in DC surrounded by two other states where they would be K (the cutoff is the first of the month instead of the 30th there). For outside things, because they're pretty focused and can be very well-behaved in the ways that teachers want, I usually enroll them as 1st. But they're not all that great at sports so I enroll them as K for that - they did K soccer teams two years in a row and in the spring, I'll keep them in the K-1st T-ball team instead of moving them up to the 1st-2nd one. We're in two different small family co-op groups - one is all K'ers and the other is all 1st graders (though that one also has a couple of pre-K sibs who participate, meaning that they're not really the youngest). So I guess I think it's totally up to you and you can decide according to what makes sense.

 

Rec sports here are by your birth year, not your grade. So IOW, you can't decide you want your kid to play at a lower or higher level for any reason. They have to be in with their year. Soccer, hockey, baseball, basketball, softball. Football also takes weight into consideration.

 

But then HS sports is based on your grade.

Edited December 27, 2010 by unsinkable

[freetobeme]

lisamarie,

 

This is MY experience only, so YMMV and so may others'. :D

 

I have 2 boys with fall b-days and the cut-off here is Dec. 1.

 

They started K when 4 and then turned 5 soon after.

 

I regret it.

 

I homeschooled my oldest son thru 8th. My older DS is literally one of the youngest in his grade in HS (all boys, Catholic) b/c so many boys did NOT start when they were 4. Most of the fall b-day boys in his class are a year older than him. He is now a sophomore and most of the freshman he has met (thru classes, clubs and sports) with fall birthdays are the same age as him. It is such a disadvantage for DS (I think). I never realized how pervasive it is in this school/area.

 

Now my youngest DS is in the same situation with a fall birthday. He is 3 years younger than his older brother and he absolutely refuses to consider starting HS when he is 15 because he will miss being at HS when his brother is a senior. :glare:

 

If I had started them later, they still would have been 18 when they graduated. I also would have had them home with me one more year.

 

ETA: If you are planning on putting him back in school, I strongly recommend you choose to start telling him now he is in first grade. It could potentially save you much heartache later and put him in a very strong academic position when he does return.

 

:iagree:

[elegantlion]

This question comes up a lot here. What I see most people say is that they call the child the grade they would be in for public school even if they are doing higher level work.

 

 

 

This is what we have done. My ds has a September birthday. At 13, he is an older 7th grader.

 

He was in private school for pre-k and K, so we simply used what grade level he was in from school. His working ability spans about 5 grade levels and we may let him skip a grade in the future, so the 7th grade level is really just a marker.

[Ellie]

By age, my DS could be in either 1st or 2nd grade based on MI's Dec 1 cut-off and DS's Oct birthday.

 

Well, if MI's cut-off date is Dec. 1, then he'd be a young first grader. That's where I'd leave it. He wouldn't be the only young first grader, either. Regardless of when a cut-off date is, some children will be older for their grade, some will be younger. It all works out. I have been greatly surprised to learn that some people think that a *May* birthday makes a child "young.":blink:

 

When (if) you put him back in, I'd do it according the grade level he'd have been in if he'd been in school, based on the cut-off date (IOW, he would have started first grade in September and had his sixth birthday in October).

Edited December 27, 2010 by Ellie

[unsinkable]

You attach the grade level label according to the grade he'd be in if he were in school. The end. It's just much, much easier that way, for so many reasons. All the other things don't even matter. Just do it and be done with it.

 

What do you mean?

 

Size? Maturity? Academic ability?

 

Are you saying none of these matter?

 

I must be interpreting your post incorrectly. :confused:

 

Plus, there are parts of the country where parents have a choice...like here in NY. So with a fall birthday..."the grade he'd be in if he were in school" could legitimately be one of 2 different grades.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I go by the state birthday cut off for school and put them with their age group peers for activities. I got so confused one year on what grade they were, lol. Now regardless of school book level I say only the grade they would be in school so none of us is confused :001_huh:

[Dawn E]

Dd was the same, starting 1st grade work in K. However, I still called her a K'er. Although we are still working ahead of grade level, I tell everyone she is the age-appointed grade. I also tell her that she is in that grade level and that we started some materials early. It has worked out well, and I don't regret her being put in classes or activities by her age-appointed grade level. I've always felt that being able to school your children where they are is a great beauty of homeschooling. However, I don't feel the need to rush her through the 12 years just because she is capable of more.

[lisamarie]

I think factors that influenced me to do it this way were that I skipped a grade and was always young for my grade and never minded. Our intention is that all our kids will do a gap year so he will still be starting college at 18, almost 19 which I think is good. And he missed the cutoff by only 6 weeks so isn't that much younger. It just seemed to me to make sense to call him the grade of the work we do.

 

The main downside that I didn't anticipate is that around here many people hold their boys back.

 

If we keep DS on the faster track, he will graduate at 17 1/2. My thought was that if he does graduate at 17, he could take a GAP year and go do some maturing/service before starting college at 18. I did a GAP year when I was 21 and it was fabulous. I wish I'd done it at 18 so that I had a year to figure out what I wanted to do with my life before starting college.

 

I am of 2 minds--socially, all of DS's friends are in the lower grade. The only other boy with a late birthday was delay-started. The rest were born after the cutoff. So by having DS be in his true grade, he is the only boy from our church in that grade. Which will impact his life in youth group, scouts, summer camp, etc. He will always be the only boy in his grade. If there were boys in the higher grade, it would be a no-brainer. Pass him up, end of story. Every few years when it is time for him to move up to a new Sunday School classroom, it is hard to decide if we should keep him back with his friends or move him up because he's bored with the material.

 

Plus, there are parts of the country where parents have a choice...like here in NY. So with a fall birthday..."the grade he'd be in if he were in school" could legitimately be one of 2 different grades.

 

Yes, that is the way it is here. I would say it's about half and half for kids starting on time or delayed for the fall birthdays. Boys especially are delay-started.

[Lawana]

I would pick the grade that is the best match socially. You can always realign later. Dd has a Sept. birthday, and from K-6 we listed her as the grade she would be in had she started school as a 4 y.o. turning 5, because that is where she fit in socially at church. For various reasons, academic, social and medical, we realigned her grade in the middle school years. She understood the reasons, and we changed churches, so all was good.

[fairfarmhand]

with which age group is he more comfortable socially? That is how I would choose.

[Dobela]

My ds10 is on paper the grade that he is working on. Otherwise, in activities, sports, and church he is in the same grade as same aged peers. As he ages, that may change some but it works best now. I found that while he was ahead academically that the infulence of the older children socially was not always desirable. When his LD surfaced and he fell behind academically I wasn't going to move him backwards. In social activities he has the most in common with same age peers. He is more successful with same age peers in social activities. Emotionally and maturity wise they are much closer and more compatible. He always had some friends a couple of years older but once they began hitting puberty before him the friendships really changed-they began wanting him to do older things he wasn't ready or allowed to do, he began 'acting big' to fit in, and so on. Now that he is with peers that are his age, we are not having some of the issues we were having with older friends.

[Crimson Wife]

My kids have fall birthdays and the cutoff is 12/2. I started both in K when they were not-quite-5. My oldest was ready to move on to 1st when she was not-quite-6. My DS will do a "transition" year between K & 1st. For activities, I mostly put him in pre-K things except he's doing 4-H as a Kindergartner. The 4-H projects are multi-age so it doesn't really matter what grade he is for that.

 

Girls tend to mature faster than boys so I feel more comfortable with DD being "young" for her grade than DS.

[Ellie]

Yes, I'm saying that *as a homeschooler* none of these things matter. "Grade level" is just a convenient way to group children who are close in age and academic ability--children who are *in school.* For homeschoolers, maturity and academic achievement/ability don't matter, but it's helpful for others, such as Sunday school teachers and other groups/leaders, to have children together in classes. That's all it means *for homeschoolers,* who will, of course, teach their dc according to [insert criteria here] regardless of the dc's ages or "grade levels."

[unsinkable]

Yes, I'm saying that *as a homeschooler* none of these things matter. "Grade level" is just a convenient way to group children who are close in age and academic ability--children who are *in school.* For homeschoolers, maturity and academic achievement/ability don't matter, but it's helpful for others, such as Sunday school teachers and other groups/leaders, to have children together in classes. That's all it means *for homeschoolers,* who will, of course, teach their dc according to [insert criteria here] regardless of the dc's ages or "grade levels."

 

*thanks* for *clarifying* :D

 

The OP did say that her son will being going *back to school.*

[DaffodilDreams]

Thank you, thank you for this thread. I've struggled with grade level assignments, too, because dd mostly works at levels higher than the school system here would have her per her age. The tendency among hsers here is to rush the kids through the grade levels. It's sort of a bragging contest - oh, my child is this old but she/he is in such and such grade. I don't want to short-change my dd on years of childhood, years at home, etc, so I'm more inclined to let her work ahead yet say that her grade level is what it would be if she were enrolled in the local school system when people ask. People who know the work she is doing think I'm very odd and not allowing her recognition for her efforts/skills/knowledge. It has been hard on dd, too, because several of her same-age friends have parents who have taken the grade ahead route. But, I really do think this is the right thing for our family, and I hope when she is older dd will understand my choice.

[ereks mom]

This question comes up a lot here. What I see most people say is that they call the child the grade they would be in for public school even if they are doing higher level work.

 

That's what we do. In our experience, it never really mattered until about age 11 or 12, when the peer group becomes very important to them.

[Desert Strawberry]

My oldest has a December Bday. I start their school years on their birthday (as it seems more appropriate for each individual child, and less arbitrary, and staggering it is easier for me).

 

He is a year and a half ahead of his age-peers in public school.

 

Grades don't really matter, beyond strangers/family members inquiring out of curiosity, and ordering curricula. His activities are either multi-age or designated by age level (8 and under, 5 and up). We are not required to report age, grade, or even name by the state.

 

For us it's simply a social convention.

[Matryoshka]

I was a grade ahead of my age in school and always happy to have been advanced. Thinking of my own experience, I advanced my youngest dd in her paperwork. But... as she's gotten older, I see that she really "fits" best socially with her same-age peers. So, while she's still doing math a grade ahead at home, I've enrolled her in her age-grade for everything else (church, sports, etc.), which has worked very well.

 

And I've already decided that if she ever goes to school (which wouldnt' be till high school), I'll put her in her age-grade. I figured by high school, she can accelerate the academics without too much difficulty. It was different for me in elementary/middle - even being a grade ahead, I was still not challenged, so I would've been utterly miserable in my age-grade. High school was much better because I could accelerate courses.

[mktkcb]

my son was exactly the same, only we didn't do any stints in PS. He is not very mature, and not very big physically. We did K when he was 4 turning 5, but even though he was obviously beyond K material, he was tiny, and not very mature. always hung out with the younger kids. So we did Super K the next year (which academically was easily gr1/2 or more). Purely for social and reporting reasons, and also I knew I wasn't going to be putting him in ps anyway. I haven't regretted that decision. He still isn't incredibly mature even now in 8th grade LOL! And he is just now getting some height. Holding him back was a good decision. I figured if he suddenly became a different person (ha), I could skip him a grade later.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

Well, here's what I've decided to do. (At least for now.... it may or may not work out in the long term)

 

DD will be 5 in 2.5 weeks. By her age, she'd be in preK this year, and K next. Academically, she is about a year and a half ahead, and working quickly. Unless she stalls somewhere, which is entirely possible (and has already happened with reading), she'll always be working ahead of her age/grade peers.

 

In my head, I call her K, and think of this as her K year for long term planning. If I ever need to register her with the state as a certain grade, I'll register her as whatever she'd be by her age, unless she is ahead by 2 years or so and is still advancing. (So that if she does slow up we have a good cushion).

For social/physical activities like sports, girl scouts, art classes, church groups, etc. I'll keep her with same-age peers. Socially, she is typical for her age (and perhaps not quite where she should be).

For co-ops, and other educational classes, I'll put her ahead if possible, but only by a year.

 

It sounds complicated, but for me it works. And when people ask what grade she's in (at this point it's always: "Are you in school yet?") she always answers "I'm homeschooled!!" and if they ask more I just say we work at whatever level she's at.

[Sahamamama]

I don't have boys, or older students, but my sister was just talking about this yesterday in reference to her sons.

 

Her oldest (15) has an August birthday. She started him in 1/2 day K when he was "just five." He is doing well academically and socially (now in 10th grade), but he is so small for his age, let alone being one of the youngest kids in his class. She says that if she could do it over again, she would have put him in 1/2 K (private) when he was "just five," then had him do another year of Kindergarten -- full-day public -- the following year. It would have given him more time to grow and mature, and made him one of the strongest students academically.

 

Her second son (13) has a July birthday. She started him in full-day public school K when he was "just five." He is doing terribly academically and socially (now in 8th grade, but far below grade level). He is emotionally immature for his age, sometimes uncooperative, and generally miserable about being so "behind." I feel so sorry for him. I think it must be hard to be so discouraged about such a big part of life. M______ feels like he fails at everything. He's behind in school, not very good at sports (compared to peers), and socially awkward. My sister said that she has regrets about how she's handled him. She said, "If I could go back in time, I would have kept him completely OUT of school for K, because we could not find a 1/2 day option (which would have been okay for him). A full-day program was WAY too much for him. He went from 8:30 am (bus pick up) to 4:30 pm (bus drop off) -- that is, a 40-hour week for a young five year old boy. He cried every day. And he was burned out by the middle of Kindergarten!"

 

She went on to say that she would have started him in K the following year, when he was six years old, and if there had been problems with him keeping up in first or second grade, she would not be so hesitant to have him repeat the grade.

 

Especially if you kept your son out of full-day K when he was 4/5 due to his emotional development, it might be good to hold him in first grade now. That way, he can be an emotionally stronger, academically stronger first grader, instead of a fragile second grader. Or, he might not even manifest that much of an emotional difference now, but would down the road a bit.

 

This is just a thought, and I don't know what your reporting requirements are, but does every "academic year" HAVE to be 10 or 12 months long? If we homeschool, couldn't we adjust our "year" to be what it needs to be, at any time? For example, a younger first grader could do "First Grade" for 8 months or 15 months... why not? Could you shorten or lengthen any year you needed to? Unless your state laws lock you into the public school mindset and calendar, your "First Grade" or "Second Grade" could be what you and your student need it to be. HTH.

[joannqn]

Most people around here assign grade level by typical age for that grade level.

 

Both of my school-aged kids are officially grade skipped by our virtual academy. At church, I put my son by grade and my daughter by age. For different reasons, it makes them happiest.

 

If in your situation, I would put both of my kids in the higher grade because that is where they'd be happiest socially and academically in a school setting.

[Sahamamama]

And I've already decided that if she ever goes to school (which wouldnt' be till high school), I'll put her in her age-grade. I figured by high school, she can accelerate the academics without too much difficulty. It was different for me in elementary/middle - even being a grade ahead, I was still not challenged, so I would've been utterly miserable in my age-grade. High school was much better because I could accelerate courses.

 

:iagree:This is a good point, thanks, Matroyshka. I agree that it would be difficult for most elementary and middle schools to challenge an academically advanced student. High school might offer AP/Honors courses, more advanced maths, or even pull-out programs/dual college enrollment.

 

Good point.

[lisamarie]

with which age group is he more comfortable socially? That is how I would choose.

 

Well, as there are no boys in 2nd grade in our circles, I would say he's most comfortable with the 1st grade boys.:D But he is still socially immature.

 

That's what we do. In our experience, it never really mattered until about age 11 or 12, when the peer group becomes very important to them.

 

That's my concern with letting him move ahead. Once he hits junior high, he'll be the only boy in his grade and it will matter to him. That's when the boys trips and then mission trips start with our church and they are divided up by grade--the 7th grade boys go one place, the 8th grade to another, etc. So socially letting him go by his true grade would be suicide. Keeping him in his delayed grade would result in him being with 7+ other boys.

 

This is just a thought, and I don't know what your reporting requirements are, but does every "academic year" HAVE to be 10 or 12 months long?

 

No reporting currently required in MI. I am mostly unsure because we do plan to put him back in school in a few years so deciding now which way he will go is important for curriculum decisions and what we cover until then. If he's in 1st grade this year, grammar isn't as important as if he is in 2nd grade this year. Etc.

 

:iagree:This is a good point, thanks, Matroyshka. I agree that it would be difficult for most elementary and middle schools to challenge an academically advanced student. High school might offer AP/Honors courses, more advanced maths, or even pull-out programs/dual college enrollment.

 

Good point.

 

I didn't really think about that aspect. If we do put him in school before he hits high school (we probably will) our only hope of getting his schooling more catered to his brain while keeping his body in his delayed grade is to go with a smaller private school that will work with us. But once he hits high school, he could much more easily take AP or higher level classes.

[catz]

I just use birth date for our local school district. Both my kids work well ahead of grade level, but this hasn't been a problem for things like dance or athletics. I get the feeling 98% of the time when someone asks what grade my kids are in what they are really asking is how old they are, and wouldn't necessarily want the specifics of our homeschool. My kids do well socially with kids at all ages.

 

Another thought I saw someone else mention, I want the option to have my kids home longer if that is working for all of us. My oldest would need to skip 2 or 3 grades (or more in some areas) to get close to where he is academically. But until we NEED to do something on paper that indicates he's ahead, I'm not going to change his grade level. There are many things we can do to keep him learning at home or at a community or local college without sending him away to college before age 18. We have lots of kids held back locally too.

[boscopup]

I don't have plans to put my son back in school unless we maybe do high school at the private school he was at (we'll decide that later), but my plan is to keep him labeled the grade he's been in by age. He's well above grade level in reading and math, but in social situations, he really does best with the K-1st grade crowd (really better with the K kids). He was one of the younger kids in his K/1st grade classes (same kids in both classes at a small private school), and technically his due date was after the Sept. 1 cutoff we have here, but he was born 2.5 months early, so ended up with a June bday. :tongue_smilie: Academically, he would have been bored to tears if I'd held him back another year, so I'm glad I didn't do that (he was bored enough being at correct age-grade level). For purely social situations though, he really gets on better with the kids a little younger. Also, these days, a LOT of people red shirt their boys for K, so there were several kids that were a full year older than him in his class. That may be why some people call "May" a "young" bday. :glare:

 

I agree with the PP about high school being better able to meet the kid's needs with AP and honors classes. Elementary/middle school, there isn't a whole lot they can do. Even in the small private school my son was in, there were no resources for separating kids out by academic ability, so the teacher had to do it herself. She had the kids divided into 3 groups, and she worked with each group individually each week, but it really wasn't enough to make a huge difference. The advanced kids and the below-average kids both had to do the average-level work, then do extra work beyond that to meet their needs.

 

This is the main reason why we decided to homeschool my son - so he can work at his own pace, getting appropriately challenged and learning how to work hard. For social activities, his academic level doesn't matter, so he's with other first graders in hockey, Bible class at church, etc.

[Alice]

According to your sig, he is still only 7, right?

 

Yes, he is still only 7, and I realize things may change and I may feel differently about the way we did things when he is in junior high or high school. The reality though is that when he is in a group of boys that are slightly older or older (like Cub Scouts) he fits in well and has a good time. When he is in a group his age or younger he tends to not have as much fun. In every situation we are in (church, co-op, Scouts, T-ball, soccer, swimming, etc) he gravitates towards kids slightly older. So his grade placement works so far.

 

Whenever I see these threads come up I notice that many people seem to be influenced by their own experience. I skipped a grade and was over a year younger than most of my friends. I never cared, even in high school. I went to college at 17 and was totally ready. In all honesty, having my son start K at 4 when he was ready academically never seemed a big deal, neither did calling him a Kindergartner even though he wouldn't have been one in public school. I think my feelings about it were colored by my own experience.

 

We'll see what happens with him. It's entirely possible that I'll be regretting this decision in 10 years but it doesn't make sense to me to have him in settings where he doesn't fit as well now just in case it is better in the future.

[Ellie]

*thanks* for *clarifying* :D

 

The OP did say that her son will being going *back to school.*

*You're* *welcome.* :D

[KatieH]

It depends. By age, dd1 could be in either 3rd or 4th grade. She did Kindergarten at Catholic school, so going from there, she's in 3rd. But last year (2nd grade) she really wanted to start 4h, but not do mini 4h (which is what you have to do for 2nd grade) so I put her down as a grade "ahead." She did great.

[Laurie4b]

If you have to pick a grade for your child to be in (for church, scouts, other reasons), how do you go about doing that with a child when it's not very clear? By age, my DS could be in either 1st or 2nd grade based on MI's Dec 1 cut-off and DS's Oct birthday. We started him out in PS in Young 5s rather than kindergarten due to maturity reasons. We pulled him out after a year and 2 months for academic reasons (he was way beyond kindergarten work). So with HSing, on paper, DS technically skipped kindergarten.

 

When asked which grade DS is in, I never really know how to answer that question. Is he in 1st grade as that was the track we started out on, or is he in 2nd grade since that's his true grade had we started him on time and that is where he is academically? Eventually we do plan to put him back in school and I would have no clue what grade to register him for.

 

Put him in the grade for which he is best suited socially. Academics don't figure in to extra-curricular stuff. If you need to skip a grade academically once you put him back in, cross that bridge when you come to it. (But a lot of kids who are quite advanced around 1st grade kind of even out with the others as they get older, so this may not happen.)

[Ottakee]

I would call him first grade for many reasons:

 

1. you said he was a bit immature

2. he would be a very young 2nd grader

3. boys tend to mature physically/socially later than girls so if he is on the young side and then goes back to school he could be several years in maturity behind the girls.

4. if he also physically matures on the later side you don't want him being the tiny, immature boy looking freshman with all of those "women" looking freshman girls (it is SO hard on boys)

5. you said he has more peers at the 1st grade level so that makes sense.

 

I am in Michigan as well and in our area, if a boy has a birthday after May or so, they do Young 5s first, then K the next year.

 

I would start calling him a 1st grader and then just teach him at his level--whatever that might be.

 

This is honestly a bit of a pet peeve with me as we have a lot of homeschoolers at church. One family has decided to call their children a grade ahead as they are 'advanced". Well, they put the boy into school for 2 years and the school put him BACK as he was NOT advanced at all academically and was also socially immature. The youngest is a girl and she started youth group a year younger than the other girls, again because she is advanced (which she isn't) but it is not great socially as she is not as mature as the other kids and many of the other kids resent having her there---as well as the girls her real age aren't too happy that she is in the youth group while they are not--even if they are the same age.

 

I am a big one for putting the kids in the grade they would be for age and then teaching them wherever they are at.

[AmyinMD]

My twins have a summer birthday and are 2 month premature so they could go either way with their grade level. For Scouts we've called ds 1st grade but then ds was the only boy in his pack not reading yet. He has been frustrated by that but he's just getting the hang of reading and should be caught up with th other boys soon. He's also the smallest one in the entire den which makes me kind of wish we'd waited a year.

 

For church I'm having them start the 1st grade class next fall right after they turn 7.

[unsinkable]

I would call him first grade for many reasons:

 

1. you said he was a bit immature

2. he would be a very young 2nd grader

3. boys tend to mature physically/socially later than girls so if he is on the young side and then goes back to school he could be several years in maturity behind the girls.

4. if he also physically matures on the later side you don't want him being the tiny, immature boy looking freshman with all of those "women" looking freshman girls (it is SO hard on boys)

5. you said he has more peers at the 1st grade level so that makes sense.

 

I am in Michigan as well and in our area, if a boy has a birthday after May or so, they do Young 5s first, then K the next year.

 

I would start calling him a 1st grader and then just teach him at his level--whatever that might be.

 

This is honestly a bit of a pet peeve with me as we have a lot of homeschoolers at church. One family has decided to call their children a grade ahead as they are 'advanced". Well, they put the boy into school for 2 years and the school put him BACK as he was NOT advanced at all academically and was also socially immature. The youngest is a girl and she started youth group a year younger than the other girls, again because she is advanced (which she isn't) but it is not great socially as she is not as mature as the other kids and many of the other kids resent having her there---as well as the girls her real age aren't too happy that she is in the youth group while they are not--even if they are the same age.

 

I am a big one for putting the kids in the grade they would be for age and then teaching them wherever they are at.

 

I knew homeschooler who put her 5 y.o. in Cub Scouts and said he was in 1st grade because he was using a 1st grade spelling book. I always wondered how that worked out for her as the kid got older.

[Ginevra]

I use the age-grade that is correct for my state, if my child was in public school. I do this whether they are academically years ahead in a given subject, or delayed or whatever.