Is this awful?? This is awful.

[Remudamom]

I want to have cousins and inlaws over for New Year's Eve, but I don't want the hoards of children. There. I said it.

 

Nine of them and all pretty ill behaved. I don't want them running through my house.

 

There are a certain nine children whose names I won't mention **cough, AnotherLinda and MyBlueLobsters children cough*** that I love having over.

They are a joy to be around. My own grandnieces and nephews? I'd rather see them at their own homes.

 

I don't even know if I should suggest it or not.

[simka2]

I'm going to respond as a mom of to rather hyperactive twin 8 yr olds. I wish wish wish...that someone would help me sometimes. I wish that someone would ask me, if they could sit down and talk to all the kids about the way they want them to behave in their house.

 

I talk with them constantly, we practice manners at home. Then we get to someones house....and it all goes out the window!!!!

 

It's getting better....thru natural consequence, and them learning that they didn't get invited back because......

 

But, for some reason when it comes from someone else it holds so much more weight!!!!!

 

I don't know if that helps you at all, but it's one momma's heart :001_smile:.

[swimmermom3]

Your feelings are completely understandable. Is there any chance one or more of your dd could be bribed to babysit at another family member's house? It's been many years since I have been offended at the idea of not being able to bring my children to a party, but if you offer babysitting services, you make the whole situation more palatable to those who may be offended or at the very least may not be able to find a babysitter at this point.

[ChristusG]

I agree....I don't like badly behaved children running through my home either. But then again, I don't blame the kids, I blame the parents. If I bring my kids to someone's house, I check on them often to be sure they are behaving, etc. All parents should have the tact to do that.

[Remudamom]

I'm going to respond as a mom of to rather hyperactive twin 8 yr olds. I wish wish wish...that someone would help me sometimes. I wish that someone would ask me, if they could sit down and talk to all the kids about the way they want them to behave in their house.

 

I talk with them constantly, we practice manners at home. Then we get to someones house....and it all goes out the window!!!!

 

It's getting better....thru natural consequence, and them learning that they didn't get invited back because......

 

But, for some reason when it comes from someone else it holds so much more weight!!!!!

 

I don't know if that helps you at all, but it's one momma's heart :001_smile:.

 

Doggone, I don't mean to offend anyone, but here's the deal. These folks let their kids run wild, take food off people's plates, go wherever they want. It just is a bad deal.

 

I don't think they would look very kindly on me telling the kids anything, and besides that, another aunt has tried and gotten nowhere. If the parents would say "Okay, what are the rules at Aunt RM's house?" but that will not happen.

 

They behave for me when the parents aren't around, but you know, their parents were the same way when they were little, just drove me nuts when they visited.

[elegantlion]

Well you could explain that you'll be plopping the kids in front of the TV with a good round of horror movies if they need to accompany the parents. Nah, that would be mean wouldn't it. :tongue_smilie:

 

How about a kids' party at another house and hire some very energetic babysitters?

[Margo out of lurking]

Is there any chance one or more of your dd could be bribed to babysit at another family member's house?

 

Remember that post last week about the party where the kids were going to be stuck in an unfriendly building several blocks away? Our WTM sister (can't remember who it was) had offered her GS troop to help. Instead the hostess wanted her to do everything, even print off coloring pages for the kids (for free of course)...

[simka2]

Doggone, I don't mean to offend anyone, but here's the deal. These folks let their kids run wild, take food off people's plates, go wherever they want. It just is a bad deal.

 

I don't think they would look very kindly on me telling the kids anything, and besides that, another aunt has tried and gotten nowhere. If the parents would say "Okay, what are the rules at Aunt RM's house?" but that will not happen.

 

They behave for me when the parents aren't around, but you know, their parents were the same way when they were little, just drove me nuts when they visited.

 

Okay, that's NOT my boys!!!! They might slide down a bannister, or run instead of walk in a crowded room...but what you are describing is a personal pet peeve of mine :glare:

 

I like the babysitter advice!!!

[Ottakee]

Can you just invite them to an "adults only" party and if they can come great, if not, tell them you are sorry and maybe another time. Then try to have a kids along get together in the summer when the kids can be outside--as long as they don't terorize your animals.

 

I LOVE kids and have adopted 3 and fostered over 100 others. That said, there are some kids I just do NOT like and do not want to have over.

[CLHCO]

That is not awful at all. My younger two are downright ornery sometimes. However, there is a different kind of ornery, the kind where the kids are impulsive, hyper, and very loud, but have a mother who keeps them in line the best she can, while not making a show of "discipline", or ruining fun unnecessarily. Sometimes I forget to check on them every 30 seconds, but I do try, and they are maturing.

 

Then there are kids *I* don't like having over, and I'm pretty relax in my home about noises and messes. What you described would have me barricading the door.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Make it an earlier in the day party, bribe your teens big bucks to entertain the rugrats with pony rides or stable mucking and have a nice party inside with the adults. . .

[OnTheBrink]

Well you could explain that you'll be plopping the kids in front of the TV with a good round of horror movies if they need to accompany the parents. Nah, that would be mean wouldn't it.

 

You say that as if it's a bad thing. ;)

[elegantlion]

You say that as if it's a bad thing. ;)

 

Zombieland has some redeeming talking points. :lol::lol:

[DianeW88]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with hosting an "adults only" party. That's what babysitters are for. :D

[Tabrett]

Can your family members afford babysitters? Do they use them often? If so, go for it! If not, I wouldn't have the party.

 

_____________________________________

 

That being said:

 

I have 3 young, very active dc. I reserve the use of babysitters for the very rare occasion my dh and I can afford to hire one so we can go on a date.

 

Considering my situation, here is how I would feel.

 

I would come out of obligation wether you told me I could or could not bring my young 3 dc.

 

If I was told not to bring dc, I would be upset all evening knowing I had to scrounge around to find money I didn't have to hire a babysitter.

 

If you did allow me to bring my dc, I would still be miserable since I would constantly be following my dc around to make sure they were acting correctly (Can you tell I have family that do not approve of the way my dc act?:glare:).

 

If I didn't get invited, I would probably be crying at home thinking you hated my dc and didn't like me.

 

I would prefer you not have the party.:leaving:

 

or

 

Have a party that didn't involve family members. Then I wouldn't care.

.

.

.

.

I don't think my dc act differently than other dc there age, but one side of my family has really strict, unrealistic ideas on how dc should act, IMPO. Makes for miserable family get togethers.:(

 

I do look forward to the day my dc are grown and I can go to parties without the stress.

[CalicoKat]

If this is a first for this group of folks -- go for it. The adult-only party. It might be a relief to them too.

[redsquirrel]

It's only awful if you don't say anything and act all upset all evening when the kids are there.

 

Say what you need up front and deal with it. If you don't ask, you will never get it. People can make the decision if they want to come or not. That is up to them. But if you don't ask, you will never get it.

[RoughCollie]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with hosting an "adults only" party. That's what babysitters are for. :D

 

:iagree: That is what I would do. It's my party, and I can invite who I want to.

[Word Nerd]

I don't think it's awful, especially for a New Year's Eve gathering. They can always turn down the invitation.

Edited December 26, 2010 by WordGirl

[QueenCat]

It is perfectly reasonable to have an adults only party. BUT you must give them more time than from Christmas to New Years Eve to find babysitters. Good babysitters are booked in November for New Years Eve. And they get paid extra on NYE, simply because they are in demand.

[NanceXToo]

Regardless of how well behaved or ill behaved the children are, there's nothing wrong with saying you want to have an ADULT New Year's Eve celebration and are they all able to get babysitters and come hang out?

[Remudamom]

Well, the verdict is in. My dds, who are the main babysitters for these children do not want to babysit them and miss the party, and do not want them over here. "Believe me mom, you do NOT want all those kids over."

 

So since it's too late I'm ditching the idea. Sil wants to have a get together over at her house, 40 miles off, and she's welcome to it, but we are not going. She apparently is a better aunt than me, because she doesn't mind them all at her house, but what she doesn't know is that none of them want their children over there because she has a huge dog (pyr) with a dislocated hip in pain that threatens people.

 

So, poop on New Years Eve. Maybe we'll take all of ours to a movie.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Maybe she does know that they don't want their kids over there because of her dog. Her dog is enforcing good behavior that you cannot.;)

[fairfarmhand]

you know what?

 

I don't think it would be awful, even if the kids were well behaved. Sometimes I just want to be around adults. I don't want to be fixing sippies, refereeing disputes, and making sure my kids were not destroying something important.

 

I'd LOVE going to an adults only party.

[Denisemomof4]

I don't think it's awful. Who wants ill behaved children in their home? For hours?

 

And the older I get, the more I *CRAVE* adult only evenings. My kids are great kids but sometimes I just want to be in the company of adults ONLY.

[Barry Goldwater]

We are nearly to the point wherewe avoid any/all large social gatherings with children because...

 

NO ONE WATCHES THEIR LITTLE KIDS!!! (slight exaggeration, I know...)

 

some examples...

 

3 yr old w/ no swimming experience jumps in someone's backyard swimming pool, w/ no help...sinks right to the bottom. An alert teenager of the party host's fishes him out spit spot, no problem, but...where's Mom & Dad?

 

4 yr olds tear off toward the busy street, my 14 yr old (we call her Lightnin') dashes off and intercepts them, almost at the shoulder of the road :scared: Where's Mom & Dad?

 

4 yr old climbs to the very top bar of a swing set, STANDS UP on it, waves arms up & down...this is like 8 feet in the air...I have to go and coax her down...Where's Mom & Dad?

 

There's a wood burning stove on at the 4H meeting person's house...the babies are all crawling around, closer...closer...Where's Mom & Dad?

 

I have dozens more examples...I think I've lost years off my life because of this...I don't want to leave the house anymore :tongue_smilie: DW and I, or my daughters, always seem to end up being the ones that watch the other parents' little ones, preventing horrible maiming and pain, while they go off and socialize...ugh...

[MariannNOVA]

I do not think you are awful -- I would just invite the adults -- and state that the invite is only for the adults --

 

I might begin the conversation by asking: 'Would you be able to get a sitter for New Year's Eve b/c we'd love to have you and so-and-so over?'

[lionfamily1999]

:( Saw your update.

 

Pooh :(

Edited December 26, 2010 by lionfamily1999

[lionfamily1999]

We are nearly to the point wherewe avoid any/all large social gatherings with children because...

 

NO ONE WATCHES THEIR LITTLE KIDS!!! (slight exaggeration, I know...)

 

some examples...

 

3 yr old w/ no swimming experience jumps in someone's backyard swimming pool, w/ no help...sinks right to the bottom. An alert teenager of the party host's fishes him out spit spot, no problem, but...where's Mom & Dad?

 

4 yr olds tear off toward the busy street, my 14 yr old (we call her Lightnin') dashes off and intercepts them, almost at the shoulder of the road :scared: Where's Mom & Dad?

 

4 yr old climbs to the very top bar of a swing set, STANDS UP on it, waves arms up & down...this is like 8 feet in the air...I have to go and coax her down...Where's Mom & Dad?

 

There's a wood burning stove on at the 4H meeting person's house...the babies are all crawling around, closer...closer...Where's Mom & Dad?

 

I have dozens more examples...I think I've lost years off my life because of this...I don't want to leave the house anymore :tongue_smilie: DW and I, or my daughters, always seem to end up being the ones that watch the other parents' little ones, preventing horrible maiming and pain, while they go off and socialize...ugh...

Older ds had to rescue a toddler from the goat pen at the Berry Farm two months ago. He found the parents :p and proceded to ream them out. "He could have DIED. Where WERE you?!?"

[yellowperch]

that's a shame. new years is an adult celebration anyway (isn't the point staying up until midnight and bringing in the new year? would the children have been staying up that late? sleeping in sleeping bags?).

 

I don't especially like hosting winter (ie no playing outside) parties where hoards of kids play all around,take all the toys out, eat poorly then raid the deserts and bring food all over the house. I love having friends and their children during the day. For some reason kids behave better then, and we moms are more attentive.

 

I'd like to hear some tips from your friends with nine kids who are a pleasure to have underfoot.

 

Before I read any responses my first tought was "don't you have a barn?"

[myfunnybunch]

Not awful. Honest. I wouldn't want to do it either.

 

Cat