Did you date, court or 'go with' anyone else before your spouse/partner?

[Tap]

Did you date, court or 'go with' anyone else before your spouse/partner?

 

~~I mean real dating/courting/relationship, more than just a 10yo saying they have a boyfriend. You can determine what real dating means to you, I think it has more to do with the people and emotions, than just going in a car to an event.

[Tap]

Dh and I have been together since we were 18. I had a serious relationship for 3 1/2 years and had done some casual dating too.

 

Dh did some casual/semi-serious dating (nothing longer than 6mths) before we met. After we had dated a year and it was getting more serious, he started getting itchy feet due to his history of short relationships. We broke up for a week. LOL Once he realized he didn't really want to break up, we got back together.

[Sevilla]

I can answer for both DH and myself - no, we were not in a relationship with anyone else before we were with each other.

 

Ironically, DH's parents wanted him to be courtship minded and FLIPPED OUT when we got together - convinced it heralded the doom of their son and his morals. Here we are over a decade later happily married...

[Mert]

We were both in our mid-30s when we met, so yeah we'd both had significant others prior to our relationship and marriage.

[Wheres Toto]

Yes for both of us. I was 35 and he was 48 when we got married. I had been married for over 10 years before him, he had been engaged once.

[Aggie]

Yes. We were 32 when we got married.

 

Dh had been engaged once in high school, once after college, and I'd been engaged once.

[MamaSheep]

There were at least two guys I seriously considered marrying before dh, and we got together several months after a relationship had ended between him and a girlfriend of 5 years whom he had planned on marrying. And that doesn't count various assorted "dates", "significant others" that didn't make it to the point of talking marriage, or "good friends" of the opposite sex. I think we had both shopped around enough to know what we wanted, and what we didn't.

 

ETA: You know....having thought about the connotations attached to some of those words these days, I think I want to clarify that I am using them in the most innocent, old-fashioned sense possible, and that even though I say I "shopped around", I was very much a virgin when I married. TMI?

Edited December 24, 2010 by MamaSheep

[Tree House Academy]

Oh yes. We were both MARRIED before each other! LoL But I had lots of boyfriends and he had lots of girlfriends when we were younger.

[kalanamak]

Yes, we were both married to people (10 and 19 years) we loved very dearly, but neither of us were, in the long run, wanted, and both let the other go with no dogfight in divorce court. We were each so attached to our ex, we had an agreement that while we were trying to conceive (not easy at our age, plus he had bad swimmers and I had to get my tubes untied) if one of our spouses wanted us back, we would end our plans and let that person return to their ex.

 

It was a sad time, but grown-ups have to pick up the pieces and carry on. Now we have a sunny boy and lots of laughter and kidding. One day at a time. Neither of us will ever trust a vow of forever ever again.

[Denisemomof4]

it was through my dating experiences that I learned that dh was the one for me. It was ALL good.:001_smile: Had I married the other guys who proposed to me, I'm certain I'd be divorced by now.

 

Dh wasn't someone I would have dated when I was younger. Maturity showed me what REAL husband material was.

[sheryl]

Tap, you're on a roll today with the threads. LOL!

 

Well, I dated only a time or two before my dh. My dh had only the same before he married me.

 

This is an interesting topic b/c I'm learning more and more that many other Christian couples are teaching to "date" only your future spouse. The opposite would be to jump from bf/gf again and again.

 

Dating your future spouse is one where both maintain and keep their integrity in check by not compromising themselves, in any way, before marriage.

[MrsBasil]

My DH had a serious girlfriend before he met me. They broke a few months before we were set up on a blind date.

 

I had never dated anyone. I was 17 and he was 19 and we've been together since then.

[simka2]

I dated then became a christian and did the whole courtship thing before my now dh. I will not force that upon my kids.

 

Dh dated one girl before me...he ended it when he realized he was ready for marriage and she wasn't ;).

[QueenCat]

This is an interesting topic b/c I'm learning more and more that many other Christian couples are teaching to "date" only your future spouse. The opposite would be to jump from bf/gf again and again.

 

Dating your future spouse is one where both maintain and keep their integrity in check by not compromising themselves, in any way, before marriage.

 

In theory, it sounds nice to only date your future dh, and not have had other bf/gfs. However, I have known several couples who were taught that they should only date/court one who they expect to marry. They were so drilled in it, that they made themselves marry that first bf/gf, and ended up in miserable marriages with miserable divorces. Yes, sometimes your first bf/gf is your one true love but the pressure some families put on their children to only date your future spouse can sometimes cause serious pain.

[In the Rain]

Yep. We met at 28.

[Parrothead]

Yes, He actually broke up with someone to date me. And since I was pushing 30 when I met him, I won't say I lived the spinster life.

[MrsBasil]

My not dating prior to meeting DH was by circumstance, mainly being socially awkward until my early 20's. There was nothing religiously motivated about it. My parents wanted me to date! :001_smile: