Who handles the finances in your family?

[sagira]

I'm curious about this. My father always handled the finances, even though my mom brought more money to the table for years. My dh does for our family, and I'm grateful. He's really good. It's not my forte, and in fact, I'm not good at it at all. I only pay the kids' lessons and credit card online (dh has to remind me every month too).

 

That said, most moms I know handle the finances. In fact, I don't think I know anyone else whose husband does the job. Is this the norm, or just in my area? I was surprised, as I thought dhs were the ones more likely working outside the home and in so doing more likely to pay the bills and handle the finances.

 

How do you do it?

Edited December 24, 2010 by sagira

[Prairie~Phlox]

I pay everything. We use quicken to track our finances and our bank accounts bill pay. I never mail bills. I check our balance every couple of days and mark stuff as cleared so I can see right away if things match up. I haven't "balaned" a checkbook in years but know exactly hiw much money we have.

[Mrs Mungo]

We share the task.

[grace'smom]

I'm terrible. If something happened to my husband I'd be in big trouble. He is trying to make a file folder to tell me what to do just in case. I just have no interest, and if I know how much money we have in savings I tend to want to spend it, LOL. Better for him to just tell me to stay out of Target. Repeat. Stay out of Target.

[TN Mama]

I voted for both Mom & Dad as my husband and I share the task. I handle most of the monthly bills (LOVE online banking), while he handles most of our investments, etc.

[HLDoll]

I come from a long line of military service - my great grandfather, both grandfathers, my dad and my husband. The wives have all handled the bulk of the finances, mostly because of deployments. My husband was happy for me to take over the task when we got married, and I've done it every since. He has deployed 3 times in our first 8 years of marraige, so it just makes sense for me to do it.

[Mama Geek]

I do, my dh is very capable of doing it, he just doesn't like it. The only thing that might trip him up are all the passwords to get to the accounts online.

[Ottakee]

We are following the Dave Ramsey Plan. Dh gets his check and takes out his money for the 2 weeks---gas, incidentals, blow money, etc. and then deposits the rest. I then pay all the bills, put the money in savings, etc. It just works well for us as dh doesn't want to mess with it and I am home full time.

[Melinda in VT]

We've divided this various ways during our marriage, but it's never been tied to who makes the most money at any given time. (That has also varied.)

 

Right now, DH handles both our personal finances and our business finances for day-to-day things, and I handle the quarterly and yearly taxes (both personal and business).

 

Long-term financial planning has always been in DH's court. It's one of his strengths.

[LidiyaDawn]

Mostly my husband - he pays most of the bills online from his workplace; I run downtown once a month and take care of the two that have to be done in person. I usually don't know how much is in the bank unless it's getting down to "not much" - then he'll warn me. Any major financial decisions are generally made by him in the end - it's his hard earned money; I don't work. Little stuff - groceries, clothes, lower cost extra-curricular activities, christmas shopping, etc - that's mine. :)

[Renee in NC]

I checked mom and accountant. In our case they are one and the same!:D

 

My dh is *not* good with that kind of thing and he will tell you so. Everyone tells me I am a master at making things work out, so I guess it's good he doesn't mind.;)

[....]

There is NO WAY I would let my husband near our finances. ;) In his defense, we played that card for a couple of years and it ended very, very badly. :svengo:

[Mommyfaithe]

I handle it all; personal and business finances. It gets overwhelming sometimes....but dh does not have time so we would be sitting in the cold and dark if I didn't do it.

 

Faithe

[sagira]

Any major financial decisions are generally made by him in the end - it's his hard earned money; I don't work. Little stuff - groceries, clothes, lower cost extra-curricular activities, christmas shopping, etc - that's mine. :)

 

This is my case too. I am in charge of buying any and everything for the household, homeschool stuff, clothes for the kids, all that. If I need more money, I ask him. He just gives me whatever I need. I only bring up anything over $200 with him (if it's not his gift), and so does he. He hardly ever buys anything at all. He makes the money and handles the finances, taxes, investments and big bills, I spend the money :)

[Soror]

That would be my job as well.

[ourjourneys]

I took care of all of the finances for 10 years and it was so stressful! I suppose if we were actually making enough money to cover all of our expenses easily it would have been easy. I really do have the organization and planning ability to take care of it easily and enjoy it. However, in our case we were going behind and then my husband would blame me for 'spending' too much. I see myself as frugal, but when he was upset all of the time I felt horrible.

Anyway, we had a readjustment! I told him I am not going to be responsible for them anymore - I gave him everything and said do not ask me to pay anything. So, he has his phone app that reminds him when bills are due and he takes care of everything. I just tell him when I need money and it works SO much better :) He feels that he knows that I am not 'spending' too much, even though nothing changed except he has full control now. I feel free!

[ChristusG]

I'm terrible. If something happened to my husband I'd be in big trouble. He is trying to make a file folder to tell me what to do just in case. I just have no interest' date=' and if I know how much money we have in savings I tend to want to spend it, LOL. Better for him to just tell me to stay out of Target. Repeat. Stay out of Target.[/quote']

 

This is me. I have absolutely no interest in handling the money. Half the time, I have no idea what's going on with it. My husband is an accountant, enjoys working with numbers, and I hate it. It's only logical for him to do it. I just spend it....I certainly know how to do that. :D

[kwickimom]

My DH refuses to help me even though I ask him to. Its stressful

[MamaT]

My dh handles all of our personal finances and our business finances, and I am grateful. He is just better at it than I am.

[Night Elf]

OTHER: Neither of us has full responsibility. It's something that needs to be done just like making dinner or mowing the lawn. It just gets done when it needs to be done.

[Guest]

DH handles it all. I do not spend anything without his approval first. I wouldn't say that either of us are "good" at it. However, I get extremely anxious and depressed when I have handled it and he is WAY better about staying positive. I love him and am so thankful that he does it.

[MeaganS]

I take care of almost all of our finances. When my husband helps, it is because I assigned him a specific task, or it is something I can't do because it's under his name or something. We talk about it them all the time and he knows where we are, but I handle all the day-to-day stuff.

 

My father is a CPA, but my mother still did all our finances and taxes. In fact, they were married while he was in college and he had a professor find out that his wife does their taxes and almost failed him right here. :)

 

For us, I think it's almost all because I have more time. That and I'm the optimist in the relationship, and I know my husband would get depressed trying to make it all work.

Edited December 24, 2010 by MeaganS

[KidsHappen]

My hubby and I split the duties. I get a set amount for the household budget and I pay all household bills out of that: mortgage, car, utilities, food, etc. My hubby handles everything else: his business cc, investments, taxes, etc. We have tried many different methods and this is what works best for us. It leaves each of us in charge of the part that is most important to us.

[Amy loves Bud]

I voted "Dad". Bud pays the bills and manages the day to day money, because he doesn't pay himself a salary and has to manage personal and business banking. I check over the bills as they come in to be sure nothing looks amiss. We discuss and plan our investments together, and then Bud executes this (mainly because, for tax reasons, most of what we invest is through his SEP IRA). I have a small IRA that I rolled my 401ks from my working days into that I manage.

[texasmama]

My father did in my family of origin. I do in our home.

[luvnlattes]

I do. My hubby is perfectly capable but I love accounting and numbers so it's just natural for me to do it.

[QueenCat]

Growing up, my dad did and still does.... I do most of it in our house. We have a pretty detailed budget, which we review together every few months. I take care of maintaining the budget, paying bills, etc. He takes care of long term investments, such as his 401k, our IRA, and the boys college funds. Anything unplanned, over around $100, we discuss, if it's not a "have to". A "have to" would be a car repair or plumbing or something that is a necessity, and dh can't or doesn't want to do on his own (he's working full time and doing his masters full time, so we pay more for other people to do things right now, if we didn't, we'd have no free time together).

[Cinder]

Dh does the finances in our family. He loves doing it and had us on a budget before we ever heard of Larry Burkett or Dave Ramsey. I'm the free spirit, finance-wise. You'd think a college educated person could balance a checkbook, but I'd always be off a little bit. It got to the point that when dh would deploy (military) he'd say to leave the checkbook for him when he got back. It was easier to catch up than to figure out where I made a mistake. :tongue_smilie:

 

I think it's like DR says--one partner is the geek and one is the free-spirit. Dh is definitely the money geek and proud of it. And I'm thankful that he is!

[Retired]

This is such a coincidence. I was just thinking the same thing because in my home school coop. I am the only one who pays the bills and handles the money.

 

All of the ladies have an "allowance" to pay house hold expenses. This is their phrase. I just can't get around that it reminds me of all the episodes of "I Love Lucy" She nerves has enough allowance to buy dresses or she is always skimming to buy something she wants without her husbands permission.

 

I am not a feminist. I am pretty conservative but it still just grates on my nerves.

 

I have tried to do things with them like go out for coffee and etc but their kept tight on their gas, food, one husband even questions everything on the phone bill

 

It just drives me crazy. It seems they like being treated more like children instead of partners.

[WistfulRidge]

I do. DH is capable, but I'd have to remind him fairly consistently... he'd get lost in some programming thought and it would completely slip his mind that he was supposed to pay the bills. So I do it. Besides, I'm a bit of a natural worrier and I'd do it anyway even if DH did because my mind wouldn't rest easy until I made sure that everything was paid, balanced, etc.

[danybug]

I handle all of our finances. At times I wish my dh did, but as he says "you like to have control". :tongue_smilie:

 

I was surprised to see in the poll that mom is the majority.

[HRAAB]

My dh does. When I worked, I paid all the bills and handled the monthly budget, and he handled all the investments. When I quit work to stay home, and then took on homeschooling, I handed it all over to him. He was the only wage earner, and frankly, I had enough on my plate. This has nothing to do with the man being the head of the house, it's just what works best for our family. I entirely capable. He does nothing re/spending or investments without discussing it with me and having me approve.

[DawnM]

I pay all the bills and budget the $$.

 

I voted Mom, Dad, and the Accountant though.

 

DH is an accountant and does the technical stuff (like taxes, etc...)

 

Dawn

[lionfamily1999]

We work together on it. We tried having one or the other do it and couldn't make it work :p

[Hannah C.]

I do most of the bill paying and money tracking, but DH has always been the one who actually supports us. I think we just decided that I'm better and more organized when it comes to that sort of thing. Plus, most of the stuff is in my name or I'm the primary person, since I have more and better credit.

[melmichigan]

My DH was in the military when we married, so like many other military families I took over the finances. There are definately times I would like more input, but old habits die hard and he is not interested. :)

[AngieW in Texas]

I do all the bills. Dh has an investment account that he plays with.

[ScoutTN]

I do the day to day accounting stuff. Because I have more time and because I like to know - a control thing.

We try to make our plans and goals together and to discuss things before we do them, but we are definitely work-in-progress on this. We got married later/older and it shows in this area.

[Tap]

I said both mom and dad.

 

Dh takes care of the household bills and major investments (we chat about it, he executes it). He does the taxes now, but I used to help him. They are so simple now that it is online, it doesn't need two people.

 

I take care of the kid's bills. Daycare, tuition, classes, sports, school expenses (we have a lot), presents etc. I also take care of my personal savings account and retirement (I work outside the home).

[Sasharowan]

I do all the bills and keep track of the bank stuff. Dh sits with me once in a while and we go over what's what. He tried to keep the checkbook in the beginning but neither of us could figure out what he had written and I started doing all the written stuff. Now with the computer, it's easier.

My Dad was Navy and Mom did all the bills growing too, so it was natural for me to take over.

[kalanamak]

I do all earning, bill paying, investing, and planning. Hubby is along for the ride and has the GOOD SENSE to understand his illiteracy and general unworldliness and let me do it all. His ex did it all but the earn part. She even controlled how much cash he had in his wallet, which I would do if I was in their financial situation, too.

[Tree House Academy]

I can't vote because we both do. Dh does the master budget and I do all of the accounting and bill paying.

[sheryl]

I'm curious about this. My father always handled the finances, even though my mom brought more money to the table for years. My dh does for our family, and I'm grateful. He's really good. It's not my forte, and in fact, I'm not good at it at all. I only pay the kids' lessons and credit card online (dh has to remind me every month too).

 

That said, most moms I know handle the finances. In fact, I don't think I know anyone else whose husband does the job. Is this the norm, or just in my area? I was surprised, as I thought dhs were the ones more likely working outside the home and in so doing more likely to pay the bills and handle the finances.

 

How do you do it?

 

 

That's us here. I grew up that way and so did my dh. In my marriage, my dh works outside the home and pays the bills. I don't work outside the home, although I'd like to have a "very" little part-time job to help supplement the family income.

 

My dh just happens to be good with money. I always thought exactly as you do that most men pay the bills. However, I've learned it's mostly the women that do.

 

I'm confident my dh does a great job. HTH. Sheryl <><

[2squared]

Most of the spending goes through me, so I think it makes sense that I handle the finances. Dh is perfectly capable, but it's my job. It helps that I used to be an accountant, and I love taking care of the money. Dh won't take the task when I get fed up and try to hand it over.

[sassenach]

I do, right down to the taxes.

[QueenCat]

I do, right down to the taxes.

 

I do those too.... which I prefer.

[Lady Florida.]

We do budget planning and track spending more or less together. He handles all the bill paying and related paperwork (or computer "paperwork"). I do the taxes.

 

It works out great this way. I hate paying bills. He hates doing taxes. This way we're both involved and informed, but neither one of us has to handle our least liked task.

[sarawatsonim]

Since 99% of the bills are under my name I pay them. If I didn't we would have creditors beating down our door since dh wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm much more of a math/accounting person. He just asks me how much we need, I give him a tally.

[Nestof3]

I'm better at it, so I do it. My poor husband even tried to surprise me this Christmas with a set of Copic Sketch markers, but he left the receipt in the receipt pile for me to deduct from the checking account (even though he uses a credit card at Christmas so that I don't see what he buys me).

 

He just doesn't handle paperwork well. LOL I also think I actually like doing it.

 

I don't mind. He's much better at fixing faucets than I.

 

PS -- I also handle the books for his business.

[AnitaMcC]

Dh and I share the finances. We each have our own checking account and a joint checking account.

 

I pay the mortgage, car, car insurance, Dd's music lessons, and my debts. Dh pays the utilities, his debt, phones, car maintenance, and Kung Fu. We share in the groceries. The rest is dependent on which of us has money at the time.