When they "ruin" the meal you made...

[specialmama]

this is meant partly in jest, but part of me is truly miffed about it. For 13 years my dh has added things to the dinners I've made. Hot sauce, lots of pepper, different seasonings, etc. I've seasoned things already and it tastes fine! :glare: He's not just fine-tuning the taste either, he's completely dousing the flavour and drowning it in whatever he chooses. What bugs me most is that I put thought into what I serve; the side dishes go nicely with the main dish. I may have 3 or 4 different things on the plate, all there living in community, complementing each other quite nicely. He will eat all of one item, then eat all of the next item, etc., so that the last item is never tasted warm enough, nor does it get a chance to mingle with the flavours of the first items! I realize it's petty, but I put work into making sure the tastes all compliment each other nicely. I tend to take a few bites of one item, then try a forkful of the next, then a few bites of the next, and so on. The varied tastes make the dining experience more memorable, imo. I've never said anything because it seems quite silly to complain of such things, but I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this or does this.

[Tap]

As long as he is only doctoring his own plate....I wouldn't mind (too much). IF he was doctoring other peoples food or the soup pot, then I wouldn't like it a bit.

[kalanamak]

I've never said anything because it seems quite silly to complain of such things, but I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this or does this.

 

It has lowered my standards of cooking, that is for sure. Why bother with truffle oil if a great drenching of Liquid Amino Acids is going to be poured over it.

[silliness7]

If I go to great lengths to cook for other people's enjoyment and they just aren't for whatever reason then I stop. I will go to great lengths to cook for my own enjoyment. I will go to great lengths for other people as well so long as they are enjoying it. Life is too short to make a 5 course spread when mac n' cheese would have been just as satisfying. But I don't like to cook. :glare:

[Retired]

I kinds of understand where you are coming from. I love presenting dinner and my DH was raised with the idea of ketchup or Tabasco sauce on every d*mn thing:D

 

He has gotten better over the past 20 years. He will now put the ketchup on the side and taste my preparation but he ultimately will take wonderful roast with home made gravy and still dip the stinking roast in gravy and ketchup:rant:

[Mrs Mungo]

Actually...I think it bothers me more when my kids do it than when grown-ups do it. I think I've trained their palates better than that.

[Laura Corin]

Yes, it irritates me. I try not to show it, but it does.

 

Laura

[Mama Geek]

It wouldn't bother me one bit. I enjoy cooking but I don't take it that seriously.

[fairytalemama]

I think I'd rather have my family do some extra seasoning than verbally complain about the food to me. I know they're just kids, but after spending a lot of time cooking a meal it just slays me when my daughter sits down at the table, just looks at the meal and says, "That looks yuck, Mom." And yes, we're still working on the manners...

[asta]

It ticked me off for years. DH is the hot pepper king. I knew that people lose some of their taste buds as they get older, but sheesh.

 

Then I found out that DH had an undiagnosed head injury. He honestly can't taste things unless they are really spicy, strong, etc. I felt like a tool.

:sad:

 

a

[Lolly]

Doesn't bother me. They may enjoy their food however they like. What bothers me is spending hours and hours preparing it to have someone wolf it down in 5 minutes and be done and ready to move on. I come from a long line of eat one thing at a time, no foods can touch on the plate, you eat them in a clockwise manner people. So, no that doesn't bother me either. :)

[LidiyaDawn]

I don't care how anyone else eats their food - and I put ketchup on all manner of things myself. :p

[Chris in VA]

Wow--someone dictating how I eat? WAY too controlling.

Let it go.:001_smile: Life's too short.

[RoughCollie]

DH does that sometimes. I don't like it, but I figure it is his food and he can eat it the way he wants.

 

Sometimes I wonder how DH can stand living his entire married life not getting to select what he having for dinner, just being satisfied eating whatever is put in front of him. I ask him what he'd like, and he never has any requests. I would not want to live that way.

 

I love to cook, and I understand your point of view. But the entire point of cooking is that someone else enjoys the dinner, even if they drown it in catsup.

 

Just be glad your DH doesn't put thousand island dressing on cottage cheese. There is rarely a yuckier thing to see.

[jenn-]

My DH does this to me. Usually he is adding salt and pepper and that doesn't bother me too much. What really annoys me is when he goes nuts adding different things to dish, then complimenting me on the meal. I am always like "that's great, but you aren't eating what I cooked!"

[Peela]

Yeah, it bothers me to the extent that I will sometimes say something- but my dh is pretty extreme about it, and I am a bit of a health nut at the other extreme.

For example, he adds sugar to most soups I make. He eats a lot of sugar and so far does not have raised blood sugar so feels justified. I dont eat sugar at all.

When I make vegetable juices, which the kids and I enjoy, he will mix them half and half with ginger beer or some other sweetend juice. Last time, the other day, I asked him to just not drink the juice I hand make if he is going to mix it with a processed one full of sugar....just because I get offended by it. He understood, dranks his vegie juice straight, then poured a glass of ginger beer into the glass and drank that. Cheeky, but I was happier than if he mixed them! Trippy, aren't I?

We have lots of food trippy people around here, one way or another. I have to hold back frequently. I call dh my cave man sometimes because his tastes are rather less refined than mine (in my opinon of course.) :)

[JeneralMom]

The only thing DH does that bothers me is add crackers to every freakin' bowl of soup he eats before even tasting it, and then complains about it being too salty. I started adjusting the salt in the soup when I made it, but then it was bland for the rest of us. Some soups I understand (like cream of tomato) but French onion soup, really?

 

he doesn't understand why I find it insulting.

[Mom0012]

Oh gosh, yes! The last time I made chicken marsala was 5 years ago. On that day, my husband dumped half a bottle of peanut sauce all over it after I had spent 2 hours pouding and chopping and sauteeing, etc.

 

The only person that appreciated the meal was me and I'm not going to spend 2 hours cooking something just for myself. It was the end of an era.

 

Now, between a lack of appreciation for finer food combined with my son's allergies, I pretty much grill meat and have either rice and a potato and then a vegetable with it. Or, I do a crockpot meal. I keep everything very simple. I don't have hours to cook these days anyway.

 

In my husband's defense, he has terrible allergies and I really don't think he can taste things unless the flavor is VERY strong because he's always congested.

 

Lisa

[Mom0012]

If I go to great lengths to cook for other people's enjoyment and they just aren't for whatever reason then I stop. I will go to great lengths to cook for my own enjoyment. I will go to great lengths for other people as well so long as they are enjoying it. Life is too short to make a 5 course spread when mac n' cheese would have been just as satisfying. But I don't like to cook. :glare:

 

Exactly.

 

Lisa

[sassenach]

It really bothered me at the beginning of our marriage (when I was insecure about cooking), because I took it as a judgement on my skills. Now I know that the man puts tapatillo or ketchup on everything, no matter what. I'm well past caring anymore.

[LidiyaDawn]

If I go to great lengths to cook for other people's enjoyment and they just aren't for whatever reason then I stop.

 

Why is it assumed that someone who adds condiments (or whatever) isn't enjoying the meal? :001_huh:

[Tammyla]

I'm happy if they eat and enjoy what's prepared. Verbal grumbling and complaints would not be welcomed.

[MamaT]

It really bothered me at the beginning of our marriage (when I was insecure about cooking), because I took it as a judgement on my skills. Now I know that the man puts tapatillo or ketchup on everything, no matter what. I'm well past caring anymore.

 

This is me. I have a dh who puts ketchup on everything and a teenage son who drowns everything in Texas Pete. I don't care anymore.

[Punks in Ontario]

The only thing DH does that bothers me is add crackers to every freakin' bowl of soup he eats before even tasting it, and then complains about it being too salty. I started adjusting the salt in the soup when I made it, but then it was bland for the rest of us. Some soups I understand (like cream of tomato) but French onion soup, really?

 

he doesn't understand why I find it insulting.

 

Have you tried unsalted crackers?

[Mom0012]

Why is it assumed that someone who adds condiments (or whatever) isn't enjoying the meal? :001_huh:

 

To me, it's not that they aren't enjoying the meal, it's that all the work I put into the meal was unnecessary. I could have simply grilled some chicken and then my husband could dump condiments all over it, rather than working for hours on a meal to develop it's own special flavor and then having my husband dump peanut sauce all over it.

 

Lisa

[In the Rain]

Nah, it wouldn't bother me unless he was flavoring all of the food, vs. his own portion. Dh likes food pretty spicy, and I don't.

[LidiyaDawn]

Why is it assumed that someone who adds condiments (or whatever) isn't enjoying the meal? :001_huh:

 

To me, it's not that they aren't enjoying the meal, it's that all the work I put into the meal was unnecessary. I could have simply grilled some chicken and then my husband could dump condiments all over it, rather than working for hours on a meal to develop it's own special flavor and then having my husband dump peanut sauce all over it.

 

Lisa

 

Ok, looking at the word choices here.. it's evident that we have entirely different "attitudes" toward this --- "add" vs "dump". ;)

 

I generally assume that people adding condiments simply enjoy the ADDITION of the condiment to the current flavor - not that they're trying to bury the taste of the food. :)

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I eat my foods one at a time. I don't like "mixed" flavors. I didn't realize that would insult some people. I guess it doesn't really matter, since I do most of the cooking. ;)

[AuntieM]

I'd rather have dh (or the kids) doctor it up themselves than look at me expectantly and say, "Ya know, this could use a little more xxx and maybe a bit of yyy." Like I'm supposed to jump up and recook it???

[texasmama]

Dh's family pours a bucketful of ketchup on every meat served. I think that ruins a good meat, personally. I don't take it personally, but I am trying to teach my kids not to do the same. I do think that it can be seen as insulting by some cooks, and I want them to learn to taste good food without a bucketful of ketchup as well as to think of people's feelngs.

[Laurie4b]

My dad and I made my mom mad by putting ketchup on her scrambled eggs. I put it on scrambled eggs when I make them too. She also had a fit when I would put the ketchup on a leftover roast beef sandwich. Mayo was okay, and my mother put butter on hers, but ketchup invoked a threat that no more roast beef would be forthcoming. I wish there hadn't been an issue about either. Learning to eat scrambled eggs with ketchup is great insurance for when one has to eat scrambled eggs at camp! The ketchup on the sandwich thing was kind of a pain. I liked it that way, though now I eat all my sandwiches plain.

 

I understand folks who cook for people who routinely drench everything. with ketchup, etc. That would tick me off, too.

[Classical Country Mama]

To me, it's not that they aren't enjoying the meal, it's that all the work I put into the meal was unnecessary. I could have simply grilled some chicken and then my husband could dump condiments all over it, rather than working for hours on a meal to develop it's own special flavor and then having my husband dump peanut sauce all over it.

 

Lisa

 

:iagree:

 

My dear, dear dh turns everything into a sandwich. Could be filet mignon, tender lamb baked for HOURS, or simple grilled chicken; doesn't matter--grabs bread, smushes everything in, slops it up in gravy or sauce, and gobbles it down.

 

After ten years of seeing my finest dishes turned into McSandwiches, you'd think I'd learn. But alas. Each time I see it, I feel faint surprise (shock!! and horror!!). Once in a great while I wonder vaguely whether I'm actually the one with a problem.

 

But then I realize that of course that couldn't be it. :lol:

[2_girls_mommy]

I am in the "doesn't bother me" camp. I want everyone to enjoy their food. I want to enjoy mine the way I like it too, so I don't think anything of someone seasoning it the way they like it. I do mind when when my sister makes faces about what I am serving because she doesn't like it however :)

[Parrothead]

With dh it is salt. He extra salts everything. And he has high blood pressure. :glare:

 

Since he won't even taste the food first, I've quit putting salt on most foods.

[OLG]

Yes, it gets under my skin! Over the years we have come to an agreement that he will taste first, at least, and then have at it. I see that his own mother does the same with her cooking so can accept it a tad but it still feels like a bit of an insult. I get it! (He would never do this at a restaurant or another's home.)

 

Mary

[simka2]

:grouphug::grouphug: first hugs. I get annoyed, but it's for the opposite reason.

 

That said, my family has some strange blood pressure brain chemical issues. One of the ways I manage is this is with a ton of salty, pickled foods.

 

Could he actually need more sodium?

 

When I was pregnant...my staple food was toast with hot sauce ;)

[Amira]

It used to bother me, but if I had to eat someone else's cooking every night, I have no doubt I'd want to change some things. I love to cook good food and am happy to make dinner every night, so I always get something I love. No one else in the family is that lucky.

 

I would be very uncomfortable if someone in my family extensively doctored his or her food when we were guests at someone else's house, however.

[Mom0012]

Ok, looking at the word choices here.. it's evident that we have entirely different "attitudes" toward this --- "add" vs "dump". ;)

 

I generally assume that people adding condiments simply enjoy the ADDITION of the condiment to the current flavor - not that they're trying to bury the taste of the food. :)

 

Well, I'm saying this with a completely light heart -- you haven't seen my husband in action. But I don't mind. I'll change my wording. He does literally "add" half a bottle of peanut sauce to his food. :001_smile:

 

I do not believe it could possibly enhance the flavor of the food I prepared. But, as I said in his defense before, he has allergies and I suspect he simply can't taste food unless it is very strongly flavored. I'm just not going to spend hours preparing meals he can't appreciate and he's perfectly satisfied with the simpler meals I do serve.

 

Lisa

[Slartibartfast]

My dh almost never does that. His mom tends to cook pretty bland things and I cook a lot of ethnic foods or use a lot of fresh herbs. He almost never over-indulges in condiments.

 

 

If I half assed a breast of chicken I don't say anything with he dumps BBQ sauce on it but usually if I was more careful with things he doesn't tend to use condiments.

[DianeW88]

Holy cow, all of that would drive me nuts!! Thank goodness my dh has a pretty sophisticated palate and he loves when I make gourmet dishes. He also loves veggies, so I get to have lots of fun with side dishes as well. I'm still working on my kids. :glare:

[Impish]

As long as he is only doctoring his own plate....I wouldn't mind (too much). IF he was doctoring other peoples food or the soup pot, then I wouldn't like it a bit.

:iagree:

Grossest thing I've ever seen is ketchup on french toast. Then I saw how it was being made, and had some sympathy. I kicked the cook out of the kitchen, made *my* version of french toast, and informed folks that anyone that put ketchup on it would die. Even the Dad said, "Heck no! You put syrup on this!"

[BarbecueMom]

It only bugs me when he does it to show off. As in, "I'm going to put a ton of hot sauce on my twice-baked potato to see if I can actually eat it." Then he complains about his nose dripping, and eyes watering... and how was dinner? "Too spicy!!" Really, because mine tasted like bacon and cheese...

 

:glare:

[MaMa2005]

DH puts ketchup on EVERYTHING. After 30 years, I've just accepted it. He doesn't have the most discerning palate. When we married, his idea of spaghetti sauce was a can of tomato soup with some ground beef and Worcestershire sauce mixed in it. :w00t:

[Aggie]

When we first got married, I spent hours cooking healthy, tasty meals.

 

Like a pp said, that era ended. The night he put green olives and the juice into my homemade spaghetti, I quit cooking anything that takes time and effort.

 

My ds will put blue cheese dressing and pickles in his oatmeal, but I don't cook it and I certainly don't watch him eat it. blech

[StephanieZ]

So long as he keep the changes on his own servings only, I'd be fine with it. Honestly, I'd want to encourage it by putting his fave condiments on the table for him!

 

Reason being is that I don't want to know about his (negative?) opinions about what I serve. I'd lose it if he wanted me to cook differently, etc. . . since I have made it the way *I* like it. If he can change it to his liking and is happy doing so, then AWESOME.

 

Some folks are peculiar about what they eat. I am. I like food *just so* and *my way*. I can eat stuff I'm not crazy about for a day or so, but if I go for long w/o food I really like, I get very cranky. When dh cooks (he is a great cook), I get all out cranky if he makes stuff I don't like for several meals in a row. All out. It's all I can do to be polite about it. I'd consider myself very well behaved if all I did was cheerfully add condiments.

 

My husband is thankfully both much more accepting of *whatever* is for dinner than I am, and is also very patient with my peculiarities about food. Everyone has their weaknesses. . . and being "picky" about food has been one that I've struggled against since I was a little kid. I have a much wider appreciation for varied foods than I once did, but I am still very picky.

[kalanamak]

Ok, looking at the word choices here.. it's evident that we have entirely different "attitudes" toward this --- "add" vs "dump". ;)

 

 

 

Hubby would, and does, take a perfectly plated meal, dump the whole plate into a big Chinese soup bowl, soak it with a spray pump of Liquid Aminos, pour salad dressing, hot sauce, you name it, over it, mash it all up with a fork, put it on a tray with 4 pieces of buttered toast and a big mug of chocolate soy milk, and go into his room and put on his headphones to eat (he is hard of hearing and "conversation" at the table would be shouting while chewing). For years. It sure looks like dumping to me.

 

The way I "got over it" is to cook ahead, and then, when it is meal time, I take out all the dribs and drabs in tupperware, the "leftovers", combine them in said Chinese soup bowl, stir in a can of soup of any kind and some chickpeas, nuke till raging hot while the toast is going, and then shout DIIIIIIIIINNer at his door. He schlumps in, "adds" his condiment of choice, thanks me very sweetly and disappears into the dark. He thinks I'm a really great cook, BTW, :lol:, and forgives me for calling his tray "the trough". He only eats one meal a day, and it is a doozy. Triples is standard. Kiddo and I eat together, and in a more refined manner. I am *not* exaggerating.

 

The only real trial I have anymore is when he gets one of those Grocery Outlet sprinkle bottles of dried garlic (far outdated) and uses it for a few weeks. His skin stinks of it, his room stinks of it, his breath stinks of it, and after few grandiose episodes of playacting passing out in his presence, he'll knock it off until the next time he sees are unmissable "deal".

[musicianmom]

No, I don't mind what dh does to my cooking. Like others have mentioned, I think he has so much nasal congestion that his sense of taste is dysfunctional.

 

We went to P.F. Chang's for our anniversary, and he requested his food so spicy that the server had to ask him, "Are you really sure?" He ate it and it didn't seem to phase him.

 

I do have to watch him when he gets in the kitchen, especially with eggs. I have nearly gagged from eating eggs that he's made because I thought they were just plain scrambled eggs, and it turned out he had added garlic or dried parsley or black pepper. My younger daughter, who has always eaten eggs really well (she's my pickier one), decided that she didn't like eggs anymore after eating some that Daddy had made, and it took quite a bit of coaxing to convince her that Mommy's eggs are good.

 

I think he's finally gotten the message that NO ONE in this house will eat any scrambled eggs unless they are absolutely plain.