Jump to content

Menu

sort of s/o- Question for the painfully shy


Recommended Posts

I'm not painfully shy, but want everyone to know that there are a couple of different things that present this way. One is painful shyness. Another, though, that is pretty common, is slowness to warm up. That's quite distinct, and it looks the same at first, but once the person does warm up they are often startlingly loquacious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you this way with everyone? How do you handle situations in the general public? Are you painfully shy, say at the pediatrician's office? Do you/did you have a job outside the home and how do you manage?

 

 

Not very well sometimes ;) I'm much better now, but sometimes I actually have moments of relapse.

 

No it is not with everyone. If I know you and feel safe...no prob.

If you have no weight in my life...no prob.

 

Other than that...we have problems!!! Sometimes dh will have to make calls for me, talk to the neighbors for me things like that.

 

I have held jobs, but they have always revolved around passions and I could depersonalize from the people. When the people crossed to the personal, I was done.

 

I've managed a coffee shop, a petco, taught riding lessons...and did beautifully in Nursing school. But when a proffessor crossed the line and publicly humiliated me and another student I switched classes.

 

In all those cases I could get away!!! You don't have that luxury with family.

 

Kids change you. You have to become more outgoing or they get hurt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not painfully shy, but want everyone to know that there are a couple of different things that present this way. One is painful shyness. Another, though, that is pretty common, is slowness to warm up. That's quite distinct, and it looks the same at first, but once the person does warm up they are often startlingly loquacious.

 

:iagree:this is probly more me...I'm a bit of a mix.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a child and young adult I was painfully shy. I've developed coping mechanisms and conversational skills over the years, so it's not so much an issue.

 

I do really well in public interacting with other workers. I worked in retail for years without issue. I think it's because each person has a role, a customer or an employee. I was a great employee because I knew I represented a company, not myself in public, plus the interaction was limited and then you'd go away. :tongue_smilie:

 

I worked in animal hospital for five years. I worked with the animals with limited client interaction, which I loved. It's easier for me to talk to animals than people.

 

New and unknown situations still make me nervous. My MIL still makes me nervous sometimes. After 18 years we have a good relationship, but I was that girl like in Denise's thread. I was observing and making notes on how to respond the next time. Introverts and shy people often have great observation skills. Plus dh's mother is nationally known in her profession and her success intimidated me.

 

Ironically my MIL took me to a seminar once on building communication skills. Dh and I had our own business and we dealt with new clients quite often. The seminar helped, can't remember the book or speaker now. But it taught me how to do small talk in a less structured business setting.

 

On the internet I'm not shy. :D But I can type, think, erase, rephrase, and then type again. I've always been better with written communication.

 

My dh is very extroverted, so having him around has helped a lot. I still make him call utilities, I don't like drive thrus, I hate going to pick up carry out, I don't like asking for help in a store, and I've worked hard to even look people in the eye while we're talking. A lot of that is low self-esteem stemming from shyness.

Edited by elegantlion
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am not shy, but I am an introvert. I think sometimes shyness and introvertedness (I don't think that's a word, but whatevs) get used interchangeably. I think of shyness as a flaw. People are always trying to get over it. But being an introvert is a trait. It is just how I am. So I have stopped trying to get over it. I'm not a hugely social person. But I can act ok in social situations. It just wipes me out, literally.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Going places where I will be amongst people I don't know is extremely uncomfortable. For instance, my husband's company party. Although, after 5 years, I now know some of his co-workers, and their wives, and with them I am alright.

 

Meeting up with the homeschooling group that we don't see very often and membership changes is extremely uncomfortable for me. I dread going, and can't wait to leave.

 

I'm fine at the Ped, the dentist, the eye doctor.

 

I used to work. I was a secretary at an insurance company for 8 years. I was young when I started there and very uncomfortable. Within my own unit, after some time, I was fine. When thrown into a new group, I was quiet and uncomfortable.

 

I managed a bed and breakfast. I was fine there. I guess because I was in a hostess mind set.

 

I waited tables at a nice restaurant. Tables of four or less, I was fine. With more than four people at my table I became nervous and uncomfortable.

 

I guess I'm just uncomfortable in large groups of people I don't know. I'm slow to warm up. I think another problem for me was, despite going to public school, I somewhat lacked social skills. My parents didn't have many friends, they never had company other than close family, we never went anywhere in social situations, so I didn't really learn how to interact and make conversation in social situations with people you don't know.

 

My husband is more outgoing and is quickly liked by people. After almost twelve years with him, I've learned how to better interact and start conversations with strangers. Getting older and more confident has also helped.

 

Social functions where I'm not already friends with the other attendants leaves me tired and drained afterward.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...