Jump to content

Menu

Zero sympathy for this woman....


Recommended Posts

Yes, there are people who take advantage, of course. But, it reminds me of all the times people come here complaining about their "idiot relative/neighbor/acquaintance who claims to know someone who isn't really homeschooling and is just leaving their kids home all day doing nothing". Do those people exist? Absolutely. Are they representative of the majority? I think not.

 

I really hate threads like this because, to me it seems like people get a kick out of pointing out how much better they are than 'those other people' who abuse the system. Everybody seems to have a bigger and better story of welfare/WIC/food stamp abuse than the next person. "Ohyeah? Well the welfare mom I saw was driving a Mercedes and her kid had an iPhone in her hand!" :glare:

 

When WE are painted with that broad brush we don't like it, but it seems have reached hobby status here. It just seems wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can you tell me which sneakers those are? I have plantar fasciitis and my foot is killing me. I have inserts that I bought from the podiatrist's office (not custom ones--my insurance won't pay for them). I start therapy January 3.

 

I got Brooks Dyad (women's). They cost me $108. My insurance did cover custom orthotics, and I had had them for several weeks with no relief until I was able to pair them with the new sneakers. I've done a lot more walking around stores the last week or two and the amount of pain is so much less! I hope the therapy helps!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wait...how do we know that she isnt trying to sell her T.V or other belongings? As far as I know, none of us know this person personally and have no clue what she is or isnt going through. There could be so much more than just a woman standing in front of a large TV upset that she didnt get aid to help with heating. What if she is taking care of a special needs person in the other room whose medical equipment requires alot of electricity which increases the energy bill?? I know its extreme but there possibly could be more to the story than just what is portrayed to us in one article.

 

I try not to judge someone unless I am standing in their exact shoes (which is usually impossible for someone to do), you truly never know what you would do unless having to confront that same situation in the exact same way.

 

Maybe I am nieve, but it may be easier for some of us to discredit anothers decisions and situation just to pat ourselves on the back for making a "more right" decision or a more respectable "this is what she should have done" judgement.

(this is said in general and not to anyone on here in particular)

 

Just sayin....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My post is based on direct knowledge...not of that woman, but other ppl I've known.

 

Welfare *does* become a generational lifestyle for some people. It sucks.

 

So does being the working poor, hauling your butt to 2, 3 jobs and hearing your neighbours laugh at you for being so stupid and not just going on welfare.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's sad to stand in the check-out line feeling like you are less than nothing because you *have* to rely on WIC, and because you know that as soon as you produce your WIC voucher the person in line behind you will give you the once-over, taking in your bag, your shoes, the number of children you have. And then they will judge you.

 

We have relied on WIC in the past. There were also times that we *qualified* for WIC but did not apply because we didn't *need* it to get by. My children were always clean and well dressed, not because I spent a fortune on their wardrobes, but because I shopped second-hand shops (we had very nice ones) and clearance racks for their clothing. I was well dressed because I had a work wardrobe to pull from, though I no longer worked. I had nice shoes; again, a throwback to my working days. All of my stuff was a few years old but well cared for.

 

I used to buy junk food. It wasn't because I was lazy or didn't care for the health of my family. It was because it was all that I knew how to prepare, it was what I was raised on, and it was inexpensive.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I try not to judge someone unless I am standing in their exact shoes (which is usually impossible for someone to do), you truly never know what you would do unless having to confront that same situation in the exact same way.

 

 

:iagree:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far as I know, none of us know this person personally and have no clue what she is or isnt going through.

 

Of course you're right, but many of us DO seem to know people who are taking advantage of the system. Sanctifying such individuals is as wrong as vilifying others. Painting the poor with a broad brush seems to go both ways here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Kelley said she was unemployed for a year before recently landing a job. But her bills have stacked up while she was unemployed, and she needs the assistance."

 

So here's a woman that worked, hit hard times and faced a year of unemployment, is now working again but needs assistance at the moment. Perhaps she bought that large screen television when she was working. Perhaps she's been trying to sell it. Perhaps it doesn't even belong to her, or she owes more on it than it's worth if she sold it.

 

I think people like to focus on all the things "those other people" are doing wrong because then they feel safer from the chance that they'll ever find themselves in the same situation. If you can judge a person as being obviously lazy/useless//having poor work ethic/out to abuse the system then you can draw a line between "them" and "us". Because we all know that there aren't many people here who would find themselves in such a situation... We all have healthy savings accounts and emergency funds, live debt-free, always make smart spending choices based on logic rather than emotion, and would never find ourselves in such a position as to be reliant on social systems or the kindness of strangers for our basic needs. Right?

 

I grew up with a single mother who worked 2-3 jobs my entire life just so she could stay off of the system. The options were to either work all the way, or get assistance all the way. It was pretty much impossible to attempt to do both, so she made the choice she figured was best and worked her butt off, moving us around and chasing jobs to keep things afloat. I know there were a lot of people who judged her for those choices, feeling sorry for us kids who never had a mother present a lot of the time, and who sometimes moved multiple times in one year. And I'm equally sure those same people would have judged her just as much for choosing assistance instead. Sometimes, you just can't win.

 

Judge not lest ye be judged. There but for the grace of God go I. Blah blah.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First, I have to say how embarrassed I am by the quick judgements on this thread. :glare:

The woman in the article was unemployed for a year, admitted bills piling up during that time, and it is implied she is paying those bills.

Who here has never looked for ways to cut their costs/expenses? Has no one else heated one room more than others (as a way of being FRUGAL)? Is one of your first thoughts to look at what you own that you can sell?

 

This is exactly it. As dh and I fight our way out of this hole, we keep running into things that seem to make it impossible. The regulations make it hard to save anything. You need money to do things, but if you have money, then you lose benefits and you have to spend the money on needs. Then, when the money runs out again, you get back on benefits because you have no money.

 

It's a vicious cycle. None of these programs relieve poverty, they just relieve some of the symptoms.

 

Renee, you have a very valid point here. The only way to save money is to hide it (money under the mattress idea) while still qualifying for programs. For as soon as you are off assistance, it's a very slippery slope to get back on them again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I try not to judge someone unless I am standing in their exact shoes (which is usually impossible for someone to do), you truly never know what you would do unless having to confront that same situation in the exact same way.

 

I've been in those "shoes" and so it makes me shake with anger at anyone who lives as though they do not need welfare or who uses the system as a cornerstone in life rather than a stepping stone. I am surrounded by people like this woman; my dh rented to people who couldn't pay rent yet could manage a cable bill, HUGE TV, deluxe stereo system, etc. In fact I can honestly say that of the families I know on welfare not.one.of.them probably needs to be as evidenced by the things they buy/do. They take vacations (we do not), they eat out (we do not), they hit Black Friday sales with a 15-passenger van with the seats empty (we did not), they have their food/medical covered (we do not). When we were on welfare we recognized that others were paying for us and respected that. It would be nice if others did the same.

 

Threads like this also make me angry but it is because of the sense of helplessness I feel. The system is flawed and too many people abuse it. For those of us who choose personal responsibility it is a slap in our faces to read/hear of stories such as this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most people are idiots with their money, the underclass included. I know it is galling that it isn't this woman's money but the taxpayers, but can we really expect better behavior and a more complete understanding of finances from "poor" people than we do from ourselves and our friends and neighbors? Who here doesn't know someone who makes stunningly poor decisions about spending, investing, financing? Who here doesn't know people who have expensive clothes but nothing in the college fund, or top-notch electronics but won't buy the paint and supplies to repair the front porch, or take lots of vacations but won't pitch in to help an elderly relative?

 

Before you get started, I do know we are talking about public money. I do. I just wonder how we'd all fare under scrutiny, especially if we lack a certain degree of sophistication and a sense of our own right to privacy.

 

 

I would love for anyone going on welfare of any kind to have to go through financial counseling. It would be nice if welfare recipients had to read a paper explaining to them that they are about to use public taxpayer funds and therefore it would be considered respectful for them to not abuse the system. In other words, when one is not able to provide basic food for their family and is going on WIC it is not advisable for said person to then buy 14 pets including one horse (trust me, I'm not exaggerating). When one is accepting public money for healthcare one should think twice before filling their yard with every toy Costco offers during the holiday season.

 

Scrutiny is a good thing, IMO, and more of it would be nice. If one wants privacy then perhaps one should not use public funds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes...

 

I try to live my life by that, although I'm not perfect by any means. It's sad to me though when I see other people so quick to judge, based on outward appearances.

I'll just pray for you that you never have to see such hardships.

 

Also, for those who are religious...it sure doesn't seem very Christ-like to be so judging and bitter? hmmm

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was in my local (very small) market a few weeks ago and the people in front of me were paying with their food stamps debit card. (I don't know what it is officially called.) I would think that if one has to pay for food with government assistance, they would be buying somewhat healthy foods or ingredients for meals.

 

Nope!

 

What was on the conveyor belt?

Monster drinks, frozen pizzas, hot pockets, and candy. A lot of it. About $150 worth.

 

And when the debit card wouldn't cover the taxes on the Monster drinks, the kind checker at the market took it out of the "give a penny / take a penny" jar.

 

Or how about all those times when we are behind people at the stores that are paying with WIC checks or food stamps and they are wearing brand new expensive sneakers, have their hair and nails done, and holding / texting on an iPhone? Not to mention how their kids are all decked out in the latest styles and listening to an iPod or playing on a PSP.

 

They could be foster parents. My friend had two special needs foster daughters and hated paying for groceries with their WIC allowance because she knew people were judging her. However, with all the doctor appointments, therapy, and parental visits, she lost a lot of work (self-employed) and needed that money to put food on the table. It was a short term situation, so why should she be punished by selling her nice things just because she was giving these girls a home?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, there are people who take advantage, of course. But, it reminds me of all the times people come here complaining about their "idiot relative/neighbor/acquaintance who claims to know someone who isn't really homeschooling and is just leaving their kids home all day doing nothing". Do those people exist? Absolutely. Are they representative of the majority? I think not.

 

I really hate threads like this because, to me it seems like people get a kick out of pointing out how much better they are than 'those other people' who abuse the system. Everybody seems to have a bigger and better story of welfare/WIC/food stamp abuse than the next person. "Ohyeah? Well the welfare mom I saw was driving a Mercedes and her kid had an iPhone in her hand!" :glare:

 

When WE are painted with that broad brush we don't like it, but it seems have reached hobby status here. It just seems wrong.

 

Wait...how do we know that she isnt trying to sell her T.V or other belongings? As far as I know, none of us know this person personally and have no clue what she is or isnt going through. There could be so much more than just a woman standing in front of a large TV upset that she didnt get aid to help with heating. What if she is taking care of a special needs person in the other room whose medical equipment requires alot of electricity which increases the energy bill?? I know its extreme but there possibly could be more to the story than just what is portrayed to us in one article.

 

I try not to judge someone unless I am standing in their exact shoes (which is usually impossible for someone to do), you truly never know what you would do unless having to confront that same situation in the exact same way.

 

Maybe I am nieve, but it may be easier for some of us to discredit anothers decisions and situation just to pat ourselves on the back for making a "more right" decision or a more respectable "this is what she should have done" judgement.

(this is said in general and not to anyone on here in particular)

 

Just sayin....

 

It's sad to stand in the check-out line feeling like you are less than nothing because you *have* to rely on WIC, and because you know that as soon as you produce your WIC voucher the person in line behind you will give you the once-over, taking in your bag, your shoes, the number of children you have. And then they will judge you.

 

We have relied on WIC in the past. There were also times that we *qualified* for WIC but did not apply because we didn't *need* it to get by. My children were always clean and well dressed, not because I spent a fortune on their wardrobes, but because I shopped second-hand shops (we had very nice ones) and clearance racks for their clothing. I was well dressed because I had a work wardrobe to pull from, though I no longer worked. I had nice shoes; again, a throwback to my working days. All of my stuff was a few years old but well cared for.

 

I used to buy junk food. It wasn't because I was lazy or didn't care for the health of my family. It was because it was all that I knew how to prepare, it was what I was raised on, and it was inexpensive.

 

"Kelley said she was unemployed for a year before recently landing a job. But her bills have stacked up while she was unemployed, and she needs the assistance."

 

So here's a woman that worked, hit hard times and faced a year of unemployment, is now working again but needs assistance at the moment. Perhaps she bought that large screen television when she was working. Perhaps she's been trying to sell it. Perhaps it doesn't even belong to her, or she owes more on it than it's worth if she sold it.

 

I think people like to focus on all the things "those other people" are doing wrong because then they feel safer from the chance that they'll ever find themselves in the same situation. If you can judge a person as being obviously lazy/useless//having poor work ethic/out to abuse the system then you can draw a line between "them" and "us". Because we all know that there aren't many people here who would find themselves in such a situation... We all have healthy savings accounts and emergency funds, live debt-free, always make smart spending choices based on logic rather than emotion, and would never find ourselves in such a position as to be reliant on social systems or the kindness of strangers for our basic needs. Right?

 

I grew up with a single mother who worked 2-3 jobs my entire life just so she could stay off of the system. The options were to either work all the way, or get assistance all the way. It was pretty much impossible to attempt to do both, so she made the choice she figured was best and worked her butt off, moving us around and chasing jobs to keep things afloat. I know there were a lot of people who judged her for those choices, feeling sorry for us kids who never had a mother present a lot of the time, and who sometimes moved multiple times in one year. And I'm equally sure those same people would have judged her just as much for choosing assistance instead. Sometimes, you just can't win.

 

Judge not lest ye be judged. There but for the grace of God go I. Blah blah.

 

First, I have to say how embarrassed I am by the quick judgements on this thread. :glare:

The woman in the article was unemployed for a year, admitted bills piling up during that time, and it is implied she is paying those bills.

Who here has never looked for ways to cut their costs/expenses? Has no one else heated one room more than others (as a way of being FRUGAL)? Is one of your first thoughts to look at what you own that you can sell?

 

 

 

Renee, you have a very valid point here. The only way to save money is to hide it (money under the mattress idea) while still qualifying for programs. For as soon as you are off assistance, it's a very slippery slope to get back on them again.

 

:iagree: with all of these sentiments. I've always hated threads about welfare/poverty on any forum I've ever been a part of, because it always turns so nasty, and people are so quick to judge, when they don't know the people or their whole stories and aren't in their position.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...