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I was asked to bring a salad, an appetizer and a dessert for Christmas Eve.


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Honestly, since this was all filtered through dh, if it was me I'd simply call the hostess back and have a little chat about the details. Who is coming, any allergies, any vegetarians (who may be counting on the salad, so no bacon), etc. Dieters and those with allergies will appreciate it if the dressing is offered separately. If green salad is the idea, then I'd ask the hostess if she had any appropriate dressings she could put out, and I'd fill in the gaps (assuming an informal, bottles-on-the-table gathering - if more formal, then homemade or appearing-to-be-homemade would be more appropriate). If you don't want to tote dressings, then ask if a pasta salad or the like would work with the rest of the meal.

 

At Thanksgiving, we brought drinks, several pies, and a side dish. We live 3 hours away. It's the least we can do given the hostess is cleaning, de-cluttering, and so on, (not to mention often hosting us for a few days) and others are bringing turkey, tons of sides, desserts, appetizers, etc. If you're going to feed 35+ people, sharing the cooking is the way to go. I'd be mortified if I didn't do my share. I love our family gatherings and never resent the labor or money they involve. That said, over the years we've found that certain things travel better than others, and our hostesses allow for that when we discuss what we will be bringing.

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Don't know how well this would go over, but here it goes...

 

 

I for one like when I am invited over (for larger and even smaller gatherings at times) and the host tells me what “they” would like me to bring: salad, appetizer, dessert, etc.). I have even had specific requests if they know that I cook something well, or it if is something of a themed meal. I always ask if there is something I can bring if they didn't mention it and more often than not they say, oh yes, please bring this or that, thank you for asking, I wasn’t sure if I should, etc. I find fun and creative new recipes to complete this task, or use my tried and true ones.

 

When it is a larger gathering and I am hosting, I do write down what is being served. If there is a gap, I will ask someone to bring a salad, or appetizer, or drinks, etc. Sometimes they ask me and I let them choose, and sometimes I just say can you bring such and such (but let them choose which time to bring. I have had some the best food that I never would have tried before by doing this). But believe me, as hostess, I am always do way more cooking then needed... well because I am just that way. :-)

 

If the host didn't "assign" things to bring, it could be highly possible to have all appetizer brought, or no rolls, no drinks, etc. Often the Host has spent a large amount of time preparing for the event: cleaning, cooking the main meal, doing a appetizer, dessert, sides of their own, etc.

 

I have always felt it to be my special gift (privilege really) to help provide all I can when I head to someone else’s home for a meal.

 

In short, yes, bring the dressing. ;) I like how one person said, chips with dip, or shrimp with cocktail sauce, etc. The two go hand in hand. Who knows, perhaps this host has had this issue before where she asks someone to bring a salad and then they didn’t bring dressing to go along with it and either, no dressing for the salad, or all their dressing was used (this is annoying). Perhaps they learned that they need to be specific in order to provide a wonderful assortment of food for the guests that are about to enter their home.

Edited by Tina in WA
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I just want to clarify:

 

I have no problem pitching in. To me, being asked to bring a salad, an appetizer AND a dessert is just overboard.

 

Any potluck I've ever been to, you were asked to bring ONE of the above, not all...with the exception of my SIL that one Christmas of course :tongue_smilie:

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I just want to clarify:

 

I have no problem pitching in. To me, being asked to bring a salad, an appetizer AND a dessert is just overboard.

 

Any potluck I've ever been to, you were asked to bring ONE of the above, not all...with the exception of my SIL that one Christmas of course :tongue_smilie:

 

 

:iagree:

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:iagree: Same here.

 

 

Ya, I agree. When I bring a salad it usually requires a special dressing that I mix in when it is time to serve. Not a "salad" bar type of thing to a pot luck (unless it is a salad bar luncheon). Maybe that is what the host is referring to. Maybe the "s" was a typo. God knows I make MANY of those myself. :D

 

I also like to know about allergies (as other posters mentioned), etc. We have two close family friends that have allergies and I always try to do something for them if possible (or ask them to bring that item), along with something ... well... FOR ME! :lol:

Edited by Tina in WA
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I just want to clarify:

 

I have no problem pitching in. To me, being asked to bring a salad, an appetizer AND a dessert is just overboard.

 

Any potluck I've ever been to, you were asked to bring ONE of the above, not all...with the exception of my SIL that one Christmas of course :tongue_smilie:

To me, it would really depend on how many families are coming. If there are going to be 10 families, then they can each bring one item (lots of it), and there will be 10 different things to eat. But if there's only going to be 4 families, then I'd want more than one item per family, for variety.

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But now that I see that most of you would expect to bring dressings with salad, I might not be strapping on the b@lls.

 

I don't eat dressing. I don't own dressing, I don't make dressing. If someone were stupid enough to ask me to bring a salad, it would come dry. I have to eat (or avoid eating) salad with pre-mixed dressing that others' make all the time. If it's okay for others to force dressing on me, then I find it perfectly okay to give them my idea of a perfect salad (or yes, they can use whatever they like that they have in the fridge). Or maybe they should ask me to bring just dessert and/or appetizer instead. :tongue_smilie:

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To me, it would really depend on how many families are coming. If there are going to be 10 families, then they can each bring one item (lots of it), and there will be 10 different things to eat. But if there's only going to be 4 families, then I'd want more than one item per family, for variety.

 

:iagree:

 

 

I don't know, but perhaps my friends and I have two many kids AND husbands that LOVE to eat food. I try to bring enough so I know that there will be a variety of food for all. Not saying I supply all the food, but depending on how many families, how long we are there, etc., I sometimes will bring more than asked (usually 2-3 items). (Example Thanksgiving gathering for 4 families/approx 23 people, I brought: Boston cream pie, corn casserole, green bean casserole, bacon wrapped smokies & gingerbread triffle)

Edited by Tina in WA
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I don't eat dressing. I don't own dressing, I don't make dressing. If someone were stupid enough to ask me to bring a salad, it would come dry. I have to eat (or avoid eating) salad with pre-mixed dressing that others' make all the time. If it's okay for others to force dressing on me, then I find it perfectly okay to give them my idea of a perfect salad (or yes, they can use whatever they like that they have in the fridge). Or maybe they should ask me to bring just dessert and/or appetizer instead. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

Now if you told the host that and they still insisted you bring a salad, they deserve grass! LOL J/K. I wouldn't do that, but I'd think it. :tongue_smilie:

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See... where I've been to potlucks, the assumption is that you bring enough food to feed your family +1. So if you're single -- sure just bring one thing. But when you are bringing a family, you end up bringing several dishes in order to make sure you are covering that gap of "your family +1"

 

If I am supplying 5 mouths to a gathering (our family of 3 + my parents) then I would have no problems bringing 3 different items.

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"Huh!" unsinkable said wonderingly.

 

I truly thought that it was over-the top to ask for dressings in addition to the salad. (I think that it is something that most people have at home...so why bother dragging it 90 miles down the Thruway?)

 

But now that I see that most of you would expect to bring dressings with salad, I might not be strapping on the b@lls.

 

:lol:

 

Well, I'd expect to bring dressing, not dressingS. I would definitely strap on balls about that one!

 

Ok, I'd probably just do the passive-aggressive thing for the dressing: bring one dressing for the salad and feign ignorance about knowing they wanted more than one. "What? No, I did bring dressing! I just put it on the salad now."

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I don't eat dressing. I don't own dressing, I don't make dressing. If someone were stupid enough to ask me to bring a salad, it would come dry. I have to eat (or avoid eating) salad with pre-mixed dressing that others' make all the time. If it's okay for others to force dressing on me, then I find it perfectly okay to give them my idea of a perfect salad (or yes, they can use whatever they like that they have in the fridge). Or maybe they should ask me to bring just dessert and/or appetizer instead. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would use this as a teaching moment for the children. You can make the salad dry but tell the children, "We eat the salad dry, but for the potluck, we'll go out of our way to purchase some dressing, because others may appreciate it."

I think this is a good way to show them that we put others before ourselves.

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I LOVE to contribute to family gatherings. LOVE it. I want to be a part of it and I love it when my food is appreciated and complimented. It is the Polish side of this Irish-Polish girl. :D

 

I didn't get a chance to offer to bring anything b/c DH was the one talking to his family. I got the assignment? request? for the 3 items with dressings through email.

 

I don't know why the dressing rankled but it did. It isn't that big a deal and I truly can't articulate why it bothered me so much. :confused:

 

 

But I am over it. I shall bring dressing! The salad suggestions have been great, BTW. Except maybe mandarin oranges and blue cheese. :tongue_smilie:

 

Merry Christmas to all! With croutons!

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:iagree:

 

 

Not saying I supply all the food, but depending on how many families, how long we are there, etc., I sometimes will bring more than asked (usually 2-3 items). (Example Thanksgiving gathering for 4 families/approx 23 people, I brought: Boston cream pie, corn casserole, green bean casserole, bacon wrapped smokies & gingerbread triffle)

 

Agreed. There are six of us, so I try to take that into account when going to a potluck. We spent Thanksgiving with some dear friends, and though it wasn't a potluck, I was more than happy to contribute a lot to the meal. Also, we stayed overnight, so there's that.

I took 2 lbs. of shrimp cocktail, a cheese/meat/cracker platter, veggie platter, homemade cranberry sauce, and I made homemade dinner rolls when we got there.

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I LOVE to contribute to family gatherings. LOVE it. I want to be a part of it and I love it when my food is appreciated and complimented. It is the Polish side of this Irish-Polish girl. :D

 

I didn't get a chance to offer to bring anything b/c DH was the one talking to his family. I got the assignment? request? for the 3 items with dressings through email.

 

I don't know why the dressing rankled but it did. It isn't that big a deal and I truly can't articulate why it bothered me so much. :confused:

 

 

But I am over it. I shall bring dressing! The salad suggestions have been great, BTW. Except maybe mandarin oranges and blue cheese. :tongue_smilie:

 

Merry Christmas to all! With croutons!

 

I hear ya. I'm sure that you'll have a great time, and maybe this thread can provide fodder for a funny story/Christmas tradition in your family ("Remember the year when...?")

 

Merry Christmas to you!! :D

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I would have the appetizer do double duty. Take salad greens in a bowl for your salad and a vegetable plate for the appetizer. Buy or make ranch dressing and whatever dressing you like best. When you arrive, pour some of the dressing into small bowls - you now have dip for the appetizer. Set the remaining dressing next to the bowl of greens. Those who want more than greens in their salad can add vegetables from the appetizer tray. If you want to be nice, add olives or pickles to the veggie tray.

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See... where I've been to potlucks, the assumption is that you bring enough food to feed your family +1. So if you're single -- sure just bring one thing. But when you are bringing a family, you end up bringing several dishes in order to make sure you are covering that gap of "your family +1"

 

If I am supplying 5 mouths to a gathering (our family of 3 + my parents) then I would have no problems bringing 3 different items.

I agree that you'd bring enough to feed your family +1 (or more), but I grew up with the assumption that that could be all contained in one dish. So, hypothetically speaking, if you brought a potato casserole dish, you'd bring enough so that your whole family would have enough to eat if that was all that they were having. Since it's a potluck, they won't have to only eat potatoes* but that's how you figure how much to bring.

 

 

*True story: I don't remember this, but my parents like to tell of a church potluck we attended where EVERYONE brought scalloped potatoes. It sounds far fetched, but that's what happened. So everyone was eating, and a family came in late. Someone asked, "What did you bring?!!" "Scalloped potatoes." :lol:

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I agree that you'd bring enough to feed your family +1 (or more), but I grew up with the assumption that that could be all contained in one dish. So, hypothetically speaking, if you brought a potato casserole dish, you'd bring enough so that your whole family would have enough to eat if that was all that they were having. Since it's a potluck, they won't have to only eat potatoes* but that's how you figure how much to bring.

 

 

 

That's how we always did it.

 

Also, when my church did potlucks, you brought your own dishes for your family (plates, bowls and silverware - the church would supply paper cups and coffee cups). The first time I went to a potluck at another church as an adult DH and I were the only ones with dishes - that church supplied paper plates and plastic silverware. They thought my method was rather genius (and cost effective!) and said they'd talk about changing. Our church still had some disposable products, but this reduced trash and work.

 

My church growing up also had full sets of dishes (like for church suppers that were used as fundraisers) and a mechanical dishwasher that was used in those situations, but they didn't get those dishes out for potlucks. I'm sure people who forgot dishes at pot lucks either used the real dishes and washed them or the paper stuff.

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I kind of resent being told what to bring to a potluck. I understand the reasoning, but it is just one of those things that rubs me the wrong way. I guess there are just certain things I either don't cook or are not comfortable cooking. I don't have a problem picking items off of a predetermined list, though.

 

Our homeschool picnic requires everyone to bring a main dish, a side (assigned based on last name-it could be salad, veggie or bread), a dessert and a gallon of drink. That just seems a bit much to me (maybe because we are a family of 4, 2 of which are young children). That combined with the fact that no one pays any attention to what their children are doing, we have opted out.

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Our homeschool picnic requires everyone to bring a main dish, a side (assigned based on last name-it could be salad, veggie or bread), a dessert and a gallon of drink.

 

Wow, yeah, that's a totally different story.

Our homeschool group has an annual picnic, but each family provides its own food and beverages, plus a dessert to share.

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Wow, yeah, that's a totally different story.

Our homeschool group has an annual picnic, but each family provides its own food and beverages, plus a dessert to share.

 

For our homeschool picnic, the group supplies drink, cups, plates, etc., but asks families to bring something to share. Now that is up to each family to decide what to bring; salad, main, dessert, appetizer, etc. Some bring more than one of something, some bring one thing. It is nice, but man, we had LOTS of desserts last picnic and not enough "main" meal stuff (funny though, I am sure everyone got enough to eat! I chock it up to the fact that God always provides! ;) ).

 

Maybe the dessert to share might be a nice idea.:D

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*True story: I don't remember this, but my parents like to tell of a church potluck we attended where EVERYONE brought scalloped potatoes. It sounds far fetched, but that's what happened. So everyone was eating, and a family came in late. Someone asked, "What did you bring?!!" "Scalloped potatoes." :lol:

 

I went to one once where everyone brought mac cheese. The nice thing was that they were all different, and all delicious, and of course we all liked mac cheese!

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