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Would You Ask?  

  1. 1. Would You Ask?

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My mom's talked about what she's gotten for the kids, etc.

 

Problem is, no pkg has arrived.

 

Should I mention it in case its been lost, so she can track it? Or should I just wait for her to say something?

 

It wouldn't be the first time she just didn't bother for Christmas or birthdays, which is why I'm now wondering...we've been getting along a lot better, so it would be a bit weird for her not to acknowledge them for Christmas...but I also don't want to seem like I'm hitting up for gifts, since I personally don't care one way or the other, the kids will have a lovely day either way.

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I would wait to ask until after Christmas. Depending on what shipping method she chose, it could be late. (Parcel Post comes to mind--it'll take a back seat to most other packages.)

 

Yup, this is the route I'd take. My grandmother, who is NEVER late with gifts, has been complaining about the length of time its taken to get her packages this year. She received something two days ago that the company assured her had shipped on 12/3, and she's still waiting on another package that shipped last week. She's not sure if it'll get here by Thursday when my DH goes to collect her or not.

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I wouldn't wait until after Christmas, because if I'd sent a package to someone and they knew I was sending it, I would expect them to let me know if it hadn't arrived so I could try to track it, and hopefully get it to them on time.

 

Cat

Being able to track it won't help it get there more quickly. You'd be able to see it sitting somewhere for days at a time, though.;)

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I don't know all of the background with your mom, but I'd say, "Mom, you mentioned Christmas presents for the kids. If you send a box, let me know, so I can be on the lookout for it!"

 

My bil/sil have always sent a large box of gifts for our kids. There was one year when dh and bil were not getting along (?? or something?), and my kids didn't get presents. We didn't think anything about it. A few months later, they found out we never got the package they'd sent. They were extremely upset that we thought they just wouldn't send anything, and it turned into a much bigger deal.

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I guess I don't understand why it would be awkward to ask.

 

This is her own mom, and the mom told her that she bought gifts, so why would it be a problem to ask her if she sent them yet?

 

Cat

I don't think it's awkward to ask. But Christmas hasn't even come yet. There are still a few days of mail delivery before Christmas. There are so many packages being sent right now that nearly everything takes longer than at other times of the year.

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I think what I'm going to do is simply tell her that I'm wrapping gifts, and want to know if I should stick her name on some.

 

The reason its awkward is 2 fold.

 

One, my parents have just in the last year or two, started sending gifts for anyone here. We have a rocky relationship, but one that seems to be on the mend.

 

Two, and most shocking of all, they loaned me the money to get my dental work done. The only reason I'm even wondering about gifts, rather than just putting their name on things, is b/c my mother described what she'd gotten the kids before the dental work happened. Otherwise, I'd assume that the dental loan was the gift to everyone, and call to ask what they wanted to give the kids.

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I don't think I'd mention it, but my mom is kind of sensitive and it's easy to make her feel bad. I kind of have to be careful of what I say. I'd like my mom's gifts to arrive before Christmas, but she's under a ton of stress. She's had some unexpected bills come up in December and I know things are very tight. My father's gifts arrived in the mail last week and my kids were all excited to get them. They've gotten to the age that they'll notice when her's don't arrive. But I don't want to mention to my mother that my father's have arrived because she'll feel worse and resent him all over again for a million different things. Besides, if my kids bring it up, I get to lecture about how Christmas isn't about the gifts and they are very spoiled by all the family that they have in town and they certainly don't need more stuff. :)

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If she has not specifically said that you should expect a package, then I would wait until she asks about it.

That's the problem. She told me what she was sending for each kid, but I don't specifically remember her saying it was on the way. :001_huh:

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