What's your favorite response to the question...

[ChandlerMom]

I liked the brainstorming on the Q about "how can you do it?" (hs) so....

 

What is your fav response when asked if your kids ever Socialize with other kids? You know, when you tell someone you hs and they act like that means you must keep your kids chained to a wall in the basement....

[Parrothead]

That question would only happen if I were out somewhere. You know, the park, the store or someone's home. 9 times out of 10 dd would be with me. Typically I kinda look around my surroundings and say, "Wwwweelll, we get out alone or together," with lots of D'oh in the expression at such a stupid question.

[myfunnybunch]

I just say, "Of course!" with a smile.

 

That's usually all it takes.

 

It's a dumb question to us because we know what our days look like. But I think most people are so used to kids' social connections coming from school that they can't picture what it looks like if kids aren't at school, and they phrase the question clumsily.

 

Cat

[LibraryLover]

If I am in the mood for it, I have said, laughing, "Oh, It's hard sometimes...and once in a while I'd like to put them on the yellow school bus that drives by our house every morning. But mostly it's great, and we really enjoy it."

 

Nobody is ever unkind about it, and my answer feels honest to me. I love hsing, but I do sometimes feel like not hsing. It's like anything...some days are better than others. I think people just want to know they aren't alone sometimes in feeling overwhelmed. I think a lot of people who work, or are in the midst of parenting little and/or challenging children, wonder how some of us get through the day without a break. I don't think it's a bad question, really.

 

ETA Oh, I misunderstood the question, or I didn''t process part 2. ;)

 

I tell the truth that our biggest challenge is saying no to all of the hsing activites available. "There are so many hsers in our area! There is something going on nearly everyday, and we have to say no more often that we can say yes." It's the absolute truth here. I've not talked much about negative socialization & schools, as I know a lot of really great schooled kids. I think it would be too negative, and I don't want to criticize those kids and families who do us the schools here. Plus, most people I know understand that schools can be rough places for kids sometimes, but a lot of people do have best friends they met in school, so it doesn't seem helpful unless something specific comes up.

Edited December 19, 2010 by LibraryLover

[sassenach]

"I just do."

I get this question a lot in relation to my special needs guy + 3 more. We live in the land of the only child, so just the head count alone makes people's heads spin.

[anneofalamo]

I have begun asking the questioner what is their definition of socialization. Seriously, I am asked this so many times, I feel like they are just parroting some media story from The Branch Dividians (Waco, TX) or the Morman sect of the children that were taken from the families. That is the "view" most have of homeschoolers.

So I ask them what do you mean? So far, most are stumped by my questions, and the most common response is "oh you know"...I continue with I don't know what you mean. Please help me to answer your question.

I did this with my mom,(who was against me homeschooling) and it turned into a long discussion at the park, and she looked up to see my kids in the middle of a game of keep away with a large group of kids that were on a field trip from public school.

She stopped her discussion on how sheltered they would be and that they would not be able to have friends and stared.

She turned to me and said, "I don't think I understand what socialization meant, I know your brother's boys (same age) would have sat here and moped and not gone over there. You are doing something extremely right Anne! "

WOOT!!

 

just a note: mom's major fear other than the "socialization lie"? My inability to grasp Grammar as a child and high schooler. I fought it all the way through school. I spent last winter taking Easy Grammar 3rd grade and finally understand Grammar! That is another victory for my mom and myself!

[texasmama]

If the question comes from ignorance but is not meant unkindly, I say "They are involved in church activities, a homeschool co op and Upward basketball, among other things..."

 

If someone is rude or I am in a snarky mood, I might tell them that we plan to have someone in to beat them up, steal their lunch money and give them a swirly periodically so they don't miss out on the socialization of school. (I totally stole that from someone here on this board awhile back and have loved it since.) I like using humor.:tongue_smilie:

 

Most people are just ignorant, really. I try to educate them with as much patience as I can muster.

[ChandlerMom]

What does your dh say when he gets the question at work? Mine hears it most and it's really starting to really annoy him (and he's usually unflappably good natured).

 

Suggestions?

 

My favorite: my goal is to raise a responsible, happy ADULT (you know, what kids grow into) so what does a pack of 7yos have to teach my child that is useful in later life?

 

My husband uses a similar line (about most "kid" behaviors wouldn't fly in the adult world, so why teach them and then have to unteach them?) or he goes into the song and dance about all the organized kid activities they do.

 

But I get tired of feeling like I have to defend something that was the norm for all but the past 100-200 years!

 

How about he use, "Because my wife doesn't have to work in the textile factory, so doesn't need a ps." [referring to the popularization of ps during the industrial revolution so mother's had somewhere to park their kids ad go work.]

Edited December 19, 2010 by ChandlerMom

[colleenebeans]

I get this question ALL THE TIME! I say..."socialization is over-rated" hahahaha. I try to say it with a straight face and not laugh. (I laugh alot, and this is usually hard to do)

If they have a child in public school, I will also say, "I am wayyy more worried about your childs socialization being in public school than I am homeschooling mine".

We are involved in a local homeschool group and my son has a few friends in the neighborhood and I usually explain that too and if they are still giving me a hard time, I dont tolerate it. I will be very polite and say it works for us and just wont be around them anymore. Their loss.

[Margo out of lurking]

What is your fav response when asked if your kids ever Socialize with other kids? You know, when you tell someone you hs and they act like that means you must keep your kids chained to a wall in the basement....

 

I answer as seriously as possible, "No."

 

This sinks in for a few seconds, and then I laugh, "Of course they do!" Sometimes I will add, "The challenge is staying home, because there are so many activities or classes to choose!"

 

The only people to ask about socialization are curious ones who either know no hsers or know one oddball family. They mean well, but I'm tired of being a hs spokesperson.

[kalanamak]

I liked the brainstorming on the Q about "how can you do it?" (hs) so....

 

What is your fav response when asked if your kids ever Socialize with other kids? You know, when you tell someone you hs and they act like that means you must keep your kids chained to a wall in the basement....

 

I reply, truthfully, that kiddo is so social, I couldn't keep him unsocialized if I tried. He'll talk to a parking meter.

[Alphabetika]

I just say, "Yes." ;)

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Only when the duck tape comes loose...

 

:D Just kidding-sports, scouts, classes, field trip groups, summer camp-there are more opportunities than time.