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English poet, U.A. Fanthorpe?


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“Not My Best Sideâ€

by U.A. Fanthorpe

I

Not my best side, I'm afraid.

The artist didn't give me a chance to

Pose properly, and as you can see,

Poor chap, he had this obsession with

Triangles, so he left off two of my

Feet. I didn't comment at the time

(What, after all, are two feet

To a monster?) but afterwards

I was sorry for the bad publicity.

Why, I said to myself, should my conqueror

Be so ostentatiously beardless, and ride

A horse with a deformed neck and square hoofs?

Why should my victim be so

Unattractive as to be inedible,

And why should she have me literally

On a string? I don't mind dying

Ritually, since I always rise again,

But I should have liked a little more blood

To show they were taking me seriously.

 

 

II

It's hard for a girl to be sure if

She wants to be rescued. I mean, I quite

Took to the dragon. It's nice to be

Liked, if you know what I mean. He was

So nicely physical, with his claws

And lovely green skin, and that sexy tail,

And the way he looked at me,

He made me feel he was all ready to

Eat me. And any girl enjoys that.

So when this boy turned up, wearing machinery,

On a really dangerous horse, to be honest

I didn't much fancy him. I mean,

What was he like underneath the hardware?

He might have acne, blackheads or even

Bad breath for all I could tell, but the dragon--

Well, you could see all his equipment

At a glance. Still, what could I do?

The dragon got himself beaten by the boy,

And a girl's got to think of her future.

III

I have diplomas in Dragon

Management and Virgin Reclamation.

My horse is the latest model, with

Automatic transmission and built-in

Obsolescence. My spear is custom-built,

And my prototype armour

Still on the secret list. You can't

Do better than me at the moment.

I'm qualified and equipped to the

Eyebrow. So why be difficult?

Don't you want to be killed and/or rescued

In the most contemporary way? Don't

You want to carry out the roles

That sociology and myth have designed for you?

Don't you realize that, by being choosy,

You are endangering job prospects

In the spear- and horse-building industries?

What, in any case, does it matter what

You want? You're in my way.

 

The poem is supposed to represent the viewpoints of the three figures in the painting, Saint George and the Dragon by Paulo Uccello.

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How about this from amazon.com?

 

http://www.amazon.com/New-Collected-Poems-U-Fanthorpe/dp/1907587004/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp_T2

 

This looks like the most comprehensive volume still in print. I added it to my wish list. Thanks for the post!

 

Ouch! Even her used volumes are not cheap and I would love to get my hands on the volume you linked to before I order it. It seems a bit wasteful to order a $40 book when I have only seen one poem, but shoot, even the snippet that the reviewer posted was delightful.

 

I'll confess to total ignorance of U.A. Fanthorpe, Lisa, but I much enjoyed her poem. Her poetry reminds me of that of Billy Collins in terms of its accessibility.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

Kareni, my dd just read "Marginalia" for the first time and went off in search of more of Collins' poetry. There is a quirkiness in Fanthorpe's poem that I think would really speak to my kids. I am always on the lookout for peotry they can connect with.

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How about this from amazon.com?

 

http://www.amazon.com/New-Collected-Poems-U-Fanthorpe/dp/1907587004/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp_T2

 

This looks like the most comprehensive volume still in print. I added it to my wish list. Thanks for the post!

 

It is now on my wish list too. Here is a link to several of her poems with the added bonus of Fanthorpe reading them.

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