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Your most inspiring books on parenting/hs-ing?

Halcyon

By Halcyon,
in General Education Discussion Board

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Halcyon

Halcyon

Posted
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I am looking for inspiring books on parenting and homeschooling. I will start a list :) Please add!!

 

1. Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

2. Playful Parenting

3. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves

4. Hold Onto Your Kids, Why Parents Matter

5. Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott

 

Add to the list :)

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AndyJoy

AndyJoy

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I am currently reading "Bringing Up Geeks: How to Protect Your Kid's Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World" and am really enjoying it. The author has expressed a lot of my own thoughts/philosophy on why you shouldn't want your kids to be traditionally popular with their peers.

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dirty ethel rackham

dirty ethel rackham

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The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding(LLL) and The Baby Book (Sears) really spoke to me about nurturing, grace-based parenting. I was raised in a strict authoritarian household where punishment was the main mode of communication from the parents and where it was assumed that every undesirable behavior was to spite the parents. Despite a religious upbringing, I didn't develop an understanding of God's grace until adulthood. These two books were the foundations upon which the rest of my parenting philosophy was based.

 

Other influential books:

The Discipline Book (Sears) - taught me that discipline and punishment were not synonymous ... that you can have loving, self-less, well-behaved children without punishment as a first resort and without an adversarial relationship.

Kids Are Worth It: Giving the Gift of Inner Discipline (Colorosso)

Family Matters (Guterson) This was the first homeschooling book I read and it made all the sense in the world.

The Field Guide to Homeschooling (Christine Field)

The Well-Trained Mind was a great guideline for me when I realized I no longer had the energy to be a successful unschooler. We are relaxed, eclectic homeschoolers but many of the suggestions (especially about history and science) gave me a road map.

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Joanne

Joanne

Posted
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I am looking for inspiring books on parenting and homeschooling. I will start a list :) Please add!!

 

1. Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

2. Playful Parenting

3. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves

4. Hold Onto Your Kids, Why Parents Matter

5. Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott

 

Add to the list :)

 

I'm partially there with you on the list and what you are getting at, although I am not a Kohn fan at all.

 

I'd add, for a more firm and direct perspective:

 

How To Really Love Your Child by Dr. Ross Campbell

How To Stop Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Children by Scott Turansy and Joanne Miller (don't let the title discourage you, it's good book)

Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson

Kids Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso

Beyond Survival by Diane Waring

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woolybear

woolybear

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Real Learning: Education in the Heart of the Home by Elizabeth Foss

Charlotte Mason Home Companion

Mitten Strings for God by Katrina Kenison

A Pocketful of Pinecones by Karen Andreola

 

This reminds me I should be spending more time reading and reflecting on these books and others (instead of being on these boards.....:001_huh:)

 

Thanks for all the great ideas.

Edited by woolybear
added a book
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Soror

Soror

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I am not a UP parent, I don't care for Kohn either. I didn't get much out of Kids Are Worth It. I read and re-read- and absolutely love.

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

 

I have enjoyed

The Secret of Parenting

 

and

Kids, Parents and Power Struggles

 

I like using those 3 in tandem. Secret of Parenting has some psycho babble that I find annoying but the basic strategies combined with communication in style of How to Talk is very effective and breeds a good relationship for all us- just as long as I keep the energy to keep up with it all. I have all 3 out right now for a re-read- I find the need for that every few months!

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Joanne

Joanne

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Joanne, why are you not a Kohn fan?

 

I find his tone arrogant.

I find his research incomplete. For example, he's against praise, but has not stuided praise in the absence of a behaviorialistic paradigm. So, in other words, he's never studied it in a non punitive household. (I think, for example, that the limited use of motivational techniques can help families).

I am not on the same page in terms of coercion.

I don't like what he says about religion/spirituality.

His work has been co-opted by a parenting paradigm I do not believe in (non coercive parenting/taking children seriously)

I believe in a hierarchy of power in families.

I witness an interaction between him and a published peer of his that displayed some awful behavior.

 

Nope, not a fan. :001_smile:

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lakotajm

lakotajm

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I'm mostly on the same page as you are on Kohn, Joanne. I have read two of his books, on others' recommendation and come away thinking, "How could this possibly translate well to real families and real kids?" In other words, it all sounds so nice and egalitarian and it sounds wonderful to be respectful towards your children-as it is to anyone. However, I cannot sit on the couch for an hour watching my kids play legos until they finally decide it is time to go brush their teeth. At some point, I have to be the boss and they need to do what I say. This holds out the question, "Or else what?" And though one can occasionally negotiate and talk them into making your will theirs, sometimes you cannot and the "or else" must either be punitive or rewarding. I have found that in the end I cannot possibly 100% escape the reality of coercion-I think it is one (not the best) necessary method of human communication and unescapable at times. Sometimes the air is right for other methods, and sometimes the kid just needs to brush their d$#n teeth. So, I shake my head and muse if Kohn is still sitting on his couch waiting for his daughter to be ready for her bath. I'm guessing he has cobwebs on his butt if so.

Now, Joanne, you have piqued my curiosity about the exchange he had with his peer. Care to divulge?

Lakota

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tammyw

tammyw

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Not specifically about either, but I'm currently reading "10 Ways to Destroy the Imagination of you Child" by Anthony Esolen and it's wonderful.

 

Here's the blurb about it at ISI books:

 

http://www.isi.org/books/bookdetail.aspx?id=bb314511-0f9e-40ce-a4ce-98bf96dd9eab

 

This book looks really good - I read the blurb, and I'm interested. I'm sad that my library doesn't have it (I usually like to check things out before plunking down the money). I guess I worry that it will be more of the same that is in many other books I read - can you elaborate more on it at all? I really do love books like this!

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yellowperch

yellowperch

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I'd like to read more on 10 ways, too. This isn't held by any library in our system.

 

I find Kohn very, very annoying. I don't know why. I think maybe I imagine that if I asked him how his approach would apply in a larger family he would tell me I had too many children. He just seems like the type.

 

I did find his books worth reading. They did make me think.

 

In the interest of gossip, I'd love to hear the story, Joanne.

 

Loving this thread. Just put in a couple of library requests.

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angela in ohio

angela in ohio

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Not specifically about either, but I'm currently reading "10 Ways to Destroy the Imagination of you Child" by Anthony Esolen and it's wonderful.

 

Here's the blurb about it at ISI books:

 

http://www.isi.org/books/bookdetail.aspx?id=bb314511-0f9e-40ce-a4ce-98bf96dd9eab

 

Just ordered 10 Ways and Bringing up Geeks with my textbook trade-in money. You guys are awesome!! :D

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jld

jld

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That looks really good, elizabeth. I've always been intrigued by the Quaker religion. The few Quakers I've known have been a smart, kind bunch.

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Joanne

Joanne

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That looks really good, elizabeth. I've always been intrigued by the Quaker religion. The few Quakers I've known have been a smart, kind bunch.

 

My graduate school, which is now ecumenical, was founded by Quakers. We have a section in the library of Quaker material. I adore Barclay and Foster. :) Whenever I take a "which religion are you", Quaker comes up high on the list. It makes some sense, except for the whole pacifist thing. ;)

 

The Quaker influence is still present at my school, and I find it tones down the academia-arrogance that is usually present in such a setting. :001_huh:

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Joanne

Joanne

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I think I've been most influenced by:

 

"How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen..(and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk)"

 

and

 

Children: The Challenge.

 

I've written now 2 research papers on Dreikurs and his mentor, Adler. Their work is the basis of some of my more contemporary parenting favorites: Jane Nelsen, Active Parenting, Faber and Mazlish and (less so) Kevin Lehman.

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