Desperately need gift ideas for FIL (more)

[TravelingChris]

My FIL is living with my bad BILS and assorted other people. It is not a good situation. We can't call them because of bill collectors and BILs have maybe even tried to steal my dh's identity. Dh wants to send his dad a Christmas and Birthday present. He will be turning 85 and as far as we know, he is the sole support of everyone in that house which at a minimum includes a 61 BIl and a 49 yo BIL. In case you are wondering, we have offered numerous times to take FIL in but he doesn't want to leave his home and at last conversation, he was mentally competent even if making horrible decisions. So dh has basically withdrawn completely from the situation since it only causes him great stress and potential great harm and there is no upside to it at all. They do have our phone number and we don't block them but they don't call. Since the BILs have basically taken over his life (willingly on his part), my kids never even get a card or any kind of acknowledgement. Anyway, dh wants to send his dad a gift.

 

One year recently we sent towels. Dh wants to send something useful but I can't think of anything. I can't send sheets because I have no idea what kind of bed FIL is sleeping on. I suggested gift cards for groceries but dh didn't like that idea and also I am not sure they can't be used by BILs for alcohol and tobacco versus food for FIL.

 

Any suggestions?

[TravelingChris]

Any ideas out there? (bumping)

[Chris in VA]

Music?

A couple of really good movies? Was there anything your dh can recall FIL liking as a child--there are some old timey radio shows available, and old TV shows, too.

Clint Eastwood has a new set of his movies out, if he likes shoot 'em up Westerns.

You could make him a nice gift basket with some movies, a nice fleece throw and some popcorn or favorite treat (homemade caramel corn?).

Edited December 13, 2010 by Chris in VA

[TravelingChris]

We have gotten him movies before but I will ask dh what about music. Also, I know we haven't gotten him any tv shows so I did ask dh what shows he used to like. One problem may be with that question is that for his entire childhood, FIL was working two jobs and I don't think he had much time for tv. But maybe I will do that anyway and just choose something I think he will like.

[dcjlkplus3]

Maybe buy some gift cards for restaurants and plan times to take FIL out to dinner with your family - you would give FIl a "coupon book" for family dinners (I couldn't tell how close to you he lives, so if it is farther away, it wouldn't work).

 

Does FIL have any hobbies, that he might need supplies for?

[Garga]

Magazine subscription, maybe one with large font (reader's digest does this.)

 

Hot chocolate or fancy flavored coffee?

[fairytalemama]

How much do you want to spend? I'm in favor of gift cards if you don't think the BILS would squander them. Does he eat out? One year I got a Dunkin' Donuts card for someone on my list who was a coffee drinker.

How about a gift certificate for house cleaning? I can't imagine 3 single guys in a house not liking that. A food gift basket? I'm big on the gifts that don't create clutter.

[MaMa2005]

Look for some of the old radio shows that I am sure he listened to growing up. My FIL will be 79 in March and he loves to listen to The Green Hornet, Evening with George Burns, Bob Hope, etc.

 

There are numerous websites that actually allow you to download the old time radio shows to an MP3 player. Sending him one of those already loaded might be right up his alley.

[Kim in Appalachia]

my folk's had to deal with a very similar situation for years. It's frustrating and sad. They always bought her clothes, usually lounging type outfits. Gift cards always got stolen (she said she gave it to them), money was out of the question.