Really unfriendly worker at the YMCA...

[NanceXToo]

This has really been bothering me. I don't know if I'm making too much of it, if I should talk to a supervisor next time I'm there, if I should just blow it off and continue to ignore it, or what.

 

But at my Y (which I've only been a member of for approximately two months), everyone who works there is really nice, except for this one older woman.

 

This one woman seems SO unfriendly to me. When I ask her to do something (like to sign us up for childcare for the following week or to register the kids for programs), she never does so with a smile, she always manages to look somehow annoyed or put off. If I ask her a question, the answer is very abrupt.

 

If I need to ask her to do more than one thing/sign them up for more than one day, I feel like I'm majorly inconveniencing her by her expression, lack of a smile or conversation, etc.

 

Whenever I walk in, whether I'm alone or with the kids, she never says hello, hi, how are you, makes conversation; likewise, when we leave, there's no "goodbye," "have a nice day," "see you later," it's like we don't exist.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I had my son signed up for childcare for one particular time slot and nobody was there to provide it. This woman was at the desk and I asked, "Is somebody going to be in the childcare room?" and she just said "No." Very abruptly. I said, "Oh... we were signed up for it..." and she muttered some sort of "I don't know" type thing and turned away to do whatever she was doing. Not helpful whatsoever, she couldn't care less.

 

Today, my daughter and I went in as my daughter has her Judo class there Saturday mornings. But since I also use the gym while she's doing that, I had to scan my card. That lady was there. She was busy talking to another woman, so I stood there and waited (because they have to get their computer onto the right screen before we can scan our cards).

 

No smile, no hello, no "I'll be with you in a moment," not a word.

 

I waited, and when the other member/customer walked away, the worker, without even looking at me, turned to her computer, clicked her mouse and then turned away and lowered her head and started doing paperwork. Again no "Hi," no "how are you," not even so much as an "okay, go ahead and scan your card now." Her clicking the mouse and turning away was my cue to scan my card.

 

This has been really irking me, and I find myself getting more and more irritated every time I run across her. It's like WHY is she at a desk position greeting members if she's so freakin rude? I used to be the one to say "hi" first but the last couple of weeks I just stopped bothering, I never really got a response anyway, other than an unsmiling "can I help you" kind of look.

 

But the kicker is- I've heard her and seen her smiling and chatting and being perfectly nice to other people, including the woman she was speaking with while I was there waiting this morning.

 

So now I'm wondering- what is it about ME? Why is she like this with ME?

 

The first time I dealt with her when I was brand new there, I:

 

1) Asked her to sign us up for several kids' programs and several childcare days at once. Did I inconvenience her and annoy her by asking her to do so many things? But isn't that her job?

 

2) She would have seen by signing us up that we get partial financial aid there and don't pay full membership fees. Does she have some sort of prejudice against that?

 

3) The first time I took my kids to childcare on a weekday morning so my husband and I could work out (they ONLY provide it Monday and Wednesday mornings from 9 AM to 10:30 AM during the daytime), the woman asked my 10 year old, "No school today?" and my daughter said, "I'm homeschooled," and the woman just said "Oh." Does she have something against homeschoolers? Even though the Y even has a "homeschool PE" program?

 

I don't know what else to think. But she makes me feel uncomfortable, hesitant to ask her in particular to do anything, and, lately, more and more irritated. I'm a paying member, she's at the reception desk. She shouldn't be making me feel this way. She should be more polite. Right?

 

What would you do?

Edited December 11, 2010 by NanceXToo
typo

[Mabelen]

I would definitely be talking with a supervisor. Like you said, her job is to be helpful to YMCA users, regardless of who they are, where their children go to school or how much they pay out of pocket for using their services.

 

I would make sure to include all the details, as well as the fact that you have noticed that she is not like that with other customers, and that this fact baffles you even more. You could understand if she was just a generally grouchy person (not that it would excuse her actions at all, but still), but that she not only is rude but also unhelpful and therefore not doing her job as is expected of her. This is not acceptable and needs to be called on to stop. You deserve to be treated decently.

 

Good luck.

[Annie G]

Who knows why she's treating you poorly- it may be simple like you look like someone she knows but doesn't like.

But I'd certainly say something about her customer service skills- she's likely treating others the same way and you deserve to be treated kindly. Your membership fees pay her salary- she's supposed to be there to help you!

[OregonNative]

I expect good customer service-no ifs, ands, or buts! I can see if someone is having an off day, but to be consistently crappy at your job is not ok with me. Especially if the money I'm spending is paying for a persons wages. Being me, I would say something to a supervisor. I'm a firm believer that silence equals acceptance. It's possible that other members haven't said anything either and the supervisor knows nothing about it.

[Cindyz]

I wouldn't talk to a supervisor, but I might find a way to talk to her. I might ask her how her day is going. Try to find something that she's interested in to comment on. I'd keep doing it again and again until she softened. :D :D Maybe there is a photo of someone in her family on the desk you can comment on, a pretty piece of jewelry she is wearing, etc.

[StephanieZ]

Yes, she should be more polite.

 

What you want to do about it is totally up to you. It would be reasonable to say something to a supervisor. It would also be OK for you to just ignore it. It would also be reasonable for you to say something to HER.

 

When I have folks do that kind of stuff to me, I usually ignore it the first many times (assuming it's accidental). . . then I'll do the firm, repeated, overly cheerful "Hello!! How are you today?!?" right in their face, repeating more loudly until they are forced to acknowledge me. I sort of act like they must have a hearing or vision problem. This usually elicits some reasonable fascimile of a polite response.

 

Personally, I deal with enough crazies at work & otherwise that I am pretty comfortable confronting people directly. If my firm overly-loud & overly-friendly approach didn't work, I would probably just do that -- call her out politely but assertively.

 

Next time she is being rude, you could say "Hey, you know, it makes me feel uncomfortable when you don't verbally acknowledge me. Did I offend you in some way?" That might alert her to her error & she might just change. . . or not. (It's highly unlikely she'd actually admit to being rude, but she might apologize for being 'distracted' or 'tired' and in the future she might be nicer just to avoid a repeated confrontation.

 

Every once in a while it changes things, but usually it doesn't. Then, the next step is to speak to a supervisor. Frankly, it is pretty healthy to practice assertively sticking up for yourself, so if you can get the nerve to do it, I'd try that first. Just for practice, lol.

 

I very rarely would take it to a supervisor. They'd have to be outright insulting for me to bother. I try to think of it as practice in being tough & ignoring crazies (not letting them impact your mood). . . b/c we can all grow in that area, lol.

[OregonNative]

Who knows why she's treating you poorly- it may be simple like you look like someone she knows but doesn't like.

 

:lol: This makes me laugh because I can't even imagine someone operating with this kind of thinking.

[Mergath]

If she were like that to everyone, I would just roll my eyes and let it go. But given that she's only rude to you, I'd complain, since it would appear she has some kind of prejudice against you.

[cbollin]

I'd print out your post and take it to the supervisor. If I were an employer, I'd want to know.

 

sorry this is happening to you. I know I dropped my Y membership after being harassed by an anti homeschooling YMCA worker. I dont' want to go into the story.....

 

-crystal

[Vida Winter]

If you want a challenge, why not try being kind to her and see if you can get her to come around? It's funny - this reminded me of someone I had not thought of in years. I used to have my own business and would make phone sales calls (this was before do-not-call lists) to bed and breakfast innkeepers. One particular old gentleman was a real curmudgeon. I didn't give up on him - in fact I took it on as a challenge to myself. It took me a while. One time on a business trip in his city I was able to stop by and meet him and tour his inn. After that we became such good friends. I have never experienced hospitality like that man showed me (and my family).

[bettyandbob]

before talking to her supervisor I would try 2 things:

 

1. I'd fill out those comment cards saying that customer service is poor on weekday mornings, etc. Say it would be nice if customer service reps smiled and verbally acknowledged you. The Y has policies about how employees are to greet people. I used to work at a Y and the regional director would send in "scouts" every so often to make sure proper greetings were made.

 

2. You might look like her ex SIL, she may even think you are her ex SIL. It's not your problem, but stupid stuff like that affects how some people act. So, try say something friendly when you encounter her (nice haircut, I like your earrings, pretty sweater). Sometimes little words of kindness break the shell the person built. It's not logical that she's developed some prejudice, but this might be a gentle way to jolt her out of it. If you are able to do this, it is kinder than complaining to a manager.

 

If things don't improve after trying these ideas, then I'd go to the manager.

[katilac]

Honestly, I'd probably blow it off for the most part. I'd make her do her job; if she mumbled "I don't know" in response to a question, I'd say "Then please find out" and so forth. I might, as others have said, take it as my personal challenge to kill her with kindness :D.

 

I always try (try!) to keep things in perspective. It's really no big deal to me if the desk lady at the Y frowns at me. As long as she does what I need her to do, what do I care? It might become a big deal to her if I complain, though. Perhaps she ISN'T suited to front desk work, but it might be the only work she can find.

 

Honestly, I think you're digging a little too deep here. She hasn't given you any reason to think she cares if you homeschool, or pay full fees, or whatever. Don't put so much energy into it. Maybe the people she is friendly with all had to run her gauntlet for a year before she smiled at them ;)

[cindergretta]

Honestly, I would talk to a supervisor. You pay to be there. (Even if you didn't, though, I would still talk to a supervisor.) I have attended two different Ys regularly. The people at the front *always* smile and greet when we enter and smile and farewell when we leave. Always.

 

People do not deserve to deal with her attitude. If she were indifferent (IOW, efficient but not friendly) I would try the "kill her with kindness." But she is not being indifferent, she is being downright rude. And that is wrong. And it does NOT exemplify the tenets of the Y.

[kalanamak]

If you want a challenge, why not try being kind to her and see if you can get her to come around? .

 

:iagree: Worth a shot. Just get sweeeeter and sweeeeeeeeeeter. Compliment her outfits. Tell her how helpful she is. She will know you are lying, but most people can be shamed into reform, at least in such superficial relationships as this. I learned this from a very wily nurse, and it comes in handy.

[keptwoman]

:iagree: Worth a shot. Just get sweeeeter and sweeeeeeeeeeter. Compliment her outfits. Tell her how helpful she is. She will know you are lying, but most people can be shamed into reform, at least in such superficial relationships as this. I learned this from a very wily nurse, and it comes in handy.

That could be a bit of fun! I'd probably get the kids in on the act too. Call it Operation Sugar Babe.

Edited December 12, 2010 by keptwoman

[NanceXToo]

Hmmm. Maybe I'll give it one shot. We'll chat her up next time we see her and see if we can't get her to be nice haha.

 

But if she continues to be unfriendly after that I will prob talk to her supervisor.

[lionfamily1999]

:iagree: Worth a shot. Just get sweeeeter and sweeeeeeeeeeter. Compliment her outfits. Tell her how helpful she is. She will know you are lying, but most people can be shamed into reform, at least in such superficial relationships as this. I learned this from a very wily nurse, and it comes in handy.

:iagree: Don't be overcome by evil, overcome evil with kindness :D

 

She could know the people she's chatting with, she could just be standoffish. Sure, you could probably get her in deep trouble, but I doubt that's going to help her outlook. Maybe even asking her point blank if something is bothering her (sincerely, with kindness) could be what she needs. Bad customer service used to drive me nuts, but then I realized, I have no idea what they're going through and my irritated response could just be the icing on the cake of their rotten life :(

[jasar31629]

I would agree with those who said things like 'could be a bad day' or 'who knows what is going on in their life' the first time or to around. But since she seems to know how to behave with others I don't buy it.

 

I would call her out in person...you can be polite at first with an 'I'm sorry, but I seem to have deeply offended you in some way and hoped you would accept my apology' (boy, I'm a peach aren't I?!) or just a simple 'Rough day, huh?'. See if you can't gain a response, positive or negative. If it isn't resolved or she hasn't attempted to step it up after this I would go to the boss.

 

I'm all for letting someone know I'm upset with them before going the boss route. With that in mind, you are a customer and she is in a greeting and service position- I expect a certain degree of cordiality.