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Can we talk about hs kids and lack of friends?


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My two 7 year olds did a brilliant job on me last night explaining to me that they don't have any friends because they don't have video games, Wii, DS etc.

 

I bought the whole thing, "ahhh, poor guys" basically arguing that they can't contribute in conversations when the kids -- homeschool or public school -- start discussing Mario, Wii or whatever. (My husband is a techie and very specialized in his field, but we both have seen a very addictive nature w/ one of our boys and we don't trust that he can walk away from any of the game things.)

 

It got me thinking. . . because we've done a cross country move and because we're not in school . . . finding friends is hard.

 

We're in a co-op but it's small and the kids in it are tight and clearly don't like having new people come in every year. And it's only once a week.

 

We have great neighbor friends but they can't be available all the time -- they have school, sports etc.

 

So my boys act mopey and kind of lonely -- even though Dh and I are both SUPER involved, loving parents.

 

I'm not sure what to think or what to tell them. I want the focus to be on the family, but I find myself pulled into the having a BFF and more friends is everything.

 

Alley

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Have you read this book?

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0375760288?ie=UTF8&tag=whispesprin0e-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0375760288

 

It may revitalize your purpose and beliefs about the importance being on your family instead of peers.

 

I understand how you feel. I have an only and it's difficult for us to make and keep those friendship connections. We do the best we can, we make sure he has plenty of socialization and when he makes a connection with the right friend, we will do everything we can to foster it. My son does play video games and such but I really don't think all boys' friendships need to revolve around this. I've heard my son talk about the sport they are participating in, Star Wars, hot wheels, books we've read, movies we've seen such as Toy Story 3, etc.

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They're young. As they get older and expand their interests, so too will their circle of acquaintances enlarge. We have a pretty vibrant hs group, but my kids made their "real" friends in dance and theater, their abiding interests. For now, your boys are lucky to have each other. :)

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:iagree: Third.

 

 

And going to ps is still no guarantee of having a bunch of best buds anyway.

 

 

:iagree:Fourth. My youngest, who is, granted, only 5 didn't have many friends until recently. My oldest makes friends seemingly wherever he goes (I've had people in the mall come up to him and say "Hey L!!!!" and I have zero idea where he met them) but my youngest...not so much. He's more of an introvert. That said, when he started Drama and dance class this semester, he met people whom he really enjoys being around. They're all older, but they really like him, and he really likes them, and he feels supported and happy when he's with them. I was nervous that he wouldn't find his "tribe" but I think it will happen. I think as hs parents we tend to be more nervous about making sure our kids have friends, but if your kids play sports or sing or basically get out there, I think it will happen. It won't be "the same" kind of friendship we remember having as children (assuming you went to public school or private) but it will be meaningful.

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