I am having a breakdown

[Tammyla]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Laughingmommy]

I wanted to thank everyone for the support.

 

Well, I want to thank YOU for starting a thread that many of us can relate to. It's so much safer thinking about how to improve the quality of my family's life when I'm reading about yours. So thanks for giving me (and everybody else) a good opportunity to re-evaluate how things are or are not working in our homeschooling lives. :001_smile:

 

Pei

[Oakblossoms]

I am a huge animal person. I always had a dog sleeping in bed with me. But, with the birth of my fourth I fell apart. My poor dog has horrible allergies and the vet could never figure out what. So, the itching he has developed and the sickies he occasionally gets were too much. He now has a nice warm house outside the main door.

 

The cat has a box inside, but my kids know they have to change it...so they have been very good about kicking her outside a lot. I put things on window sills and such to keep her from licking and scratching around the tub and kitchen. We put the door on our kitchen/main area and kick her out if she is annoying us. The boys don't mind her in their room.

 

Please start another thread with your allergies. We don't really allergies, but putting a meal plan in place has been priceless. I made a shopping list to go with it. Anyone can see what the meals will be for the day. We just circle the ingredients that we run out of on the list.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

I used to be able to combine and cook most things, but I only have one meal a week that I cook now that is inexpensive enough and edible enough for anyone else but me to eat. (I now am down to mostly wild game and weird grains like millet.) It is a pain, I typically cook 5 meals a day.

 

I cook the same meal for me for lunch and dinner on a rotation diet. I also occasionally freeze up extra cooked taro root ahead, it is a pain to cook.

 

I agree with several other posters: give us a list of all the allergens in your household, and we'll come up with some food everyone can eat! (Then, their choice can be: eat this or be hungry and eat it reheated at dinner or breakfast or lunch...they will eat eventually.)

[FriedClams]

Okay, at the risk of being a huge Tomato Target, I have to say what no one else has said yet.

 

Find a new home for your pets. The energy, time and money they are costing you may be better invested in wrangling your two year old.

 

I'm not saying the animals aren't important to you. I'm saying that when a person is hauling the load you are, it's time to toss a few barrels overboard. Unless your dh is willing and able to pitch in, something's got to give.

 

Use the pet budget to find a two or three morning a week program for your little kid. Use that time to do math with your olders, and other projects the little guy can't be in on. I also agree with what many have already said about restricting his access to certain areas.

 

Go to a four day school week for your olders and use day five for cooking and cleaning catch-up.

 

That's my two cents.

 

:iagree:

 

I kind of see life stress on a scale - say between 0 and 10. Right now you are living at a 9. All.the.time. So if you make some substantial changes - it will spike to a 12 or 15 - for a short time - then settle at a 5. I think THAT'S the issue. Most long-term solutions will cause the stress level spike. I think it's nearly impossible to take a situation at a 9 and smoothly transition to a 5. {Anyone out there know how to do that?? I'd love to know!! :)} So often we don't make the changes we need to live at a 5 because we don't want to rock the boat to the 12.

 

Here's an example - chores. Kids don't do them, mom's stressed and resentful. Teaching the kids to handle their chores, training them, holding them accountable - that's a whole new and greater stress than just letting it go and being mad. BUT - then they are trained and the new norm is so much easier on Mom.

 

Getting rid of animals - or greatly changing how they fit in your family - a short, dramatic spike then a much lower stress level for you.

 

Putting 2 year old in out-of-home play situation - same thing.

 

Teaching kids to handle more responsibility - same thing.

 

Redesigning food management - same thing (from planning, shopping, nutritionist, etc.).

 

Lots of short, very intense spikes and then an overall greatly improved stress level for you - and subsequently your kids and DH.

 

So if it were me - I would make a list of the things that stress me out the most. I would then number the list from most to least stressful. Then I would come up with a solution - albeit possibly a painful one (and I would accept that some ARE going to be more painful in the short run than the status quo) - and then starting with my most stressful item I would start implementing the changes and dealing with the side effects. Make a change - let it become the new norm - then tackle another. Slow and steady. The first may be the 2 year old - and then once he's into a new routine - attack the next issue. Yes - it may be painful - but it's a short pain while everyone adjusts and is done with a goal and result in mind. You may find you get through 3 major stressers and you can live with the rest. Maybe you need to get rid of 5 things. Only you will know - but hopefully making progress will help you feel better. And I'd do one at a time - not more.

 

YOU can do it. YOU can make it easier for you and your family. You sound like a great, caring mom with a ton on your plate. Don't take on too much - you can't rebuild Rome in a day and there is no reason to!! Just one thing. You can do it!!!

 

I will be praying for you!!

[....]

Can you take the rest of December off from school and read http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1100 Managers of their Homes? I think with some organization, you can get a handle on this! :)

 

Also, freezing food was a great idea - could you do 2 meals a day and a "buffet-deli-style" meal for breakfast/snacks? Something you could prepare ahead of time and set out on the counter for them to serve themselves?

 

Will the 2 yro stay in an Ergo baby carrier? I have strapped my little lunatic on my back when I've gotta get some stuff done, too. :glare:

 

Can you "quit" working for your husband? What would happen if you told your husband it's either 1. 2 yro goes to preschool or 2. you can't run the household/care for the children/prepare specialized meals/teach school AND do a side job working for your husband??? :confused:

 

OK, you WILL find those Legos. Trust me...:sneaky2: They're in there somewhere...

 

In our household, SATURDAY is household chore day. NO exceptions. We completely clean the house, do all the laundry, wash all the bedding, mow the lawn, buy groceries, etc. This sounds horrible, but it's really kept the weekday drama to a minimum. I kick my older kids out into the backyard (it's fenced and the kitchen door opens into it) and tell them to catch bugs, play soccer, beat each other with hoses, design and build nuclear reactors, split the atom, I don't care...just stay out in the backyard.

 

BTW, there are a lot of great suggestions from other moms in this thread.

 

:grouphug:

[FaithManor]

I understand completely about not being able to get rid of the animals without it negatively affecting the kids. You might be able to get both a dog crate and a pet carrier on craigslist. I highly recommend them. It won't kill the cat to spend a certain portion of the day in the pet carrier so long as he/she gets out every couple of hours for a few minutes to have a chance at the water bowl, food, and cat litter. You can let it out to play when you are better able to manage it.

 

I had a friend who did foster care for a child much like you describe your 2 yo. as. She bought one of those play place/gated fences, bolted it to the floor and the wall in one corner of her living room so it couldn't be knocked over, and then covered it with mosquito netting which was very well secured to the fencing and wall. That kept him in. Every.single.time. he was naughty, she put him inside this structure (he had four non-destructable toys for his time in there) for about 20 minutes every time. Every.single.time...no relenting. It took about 30 days and he got tired of being cordoned off from the other toys and the rest of the family and decided to be quite a bit easier to get along with. But, she was consistent after that....always he had to go into the "playplace" if he was naughty.

 

About the cooking, for a time, would it be okay to serve mostly just raw veggies and fruits with a crock pot of chicken or some meat that everyone can eat? Even though we women tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to always make the food interesting and varied, I think sometimes we need to let go of that notion that every meal needs to be cooked or have several courses or lots of variety. Healthy food is healthy food and a plate of celery sticks and carrots, apple slices or oranges, mixed nuts for those that can eat them, and a chicken breast straight out of the crockpot with nothing more than a little salt, pepper, and garlic sprinkled on it, is just fine and it's okay for it to be that way for a couple of months while you regroup.

 

((HUGS))

 

Faith

[Mejane]

Okay, at the risk of being a huge Tomato Target, I have to say what no one else has said yet.

 

Find a new home for your pets. The energy, time and money they are costing you may be better invested in wrangling your two year old.

 

 

TT here as well. We had to rehome both a dog and a cat when I was a kid (at different times for different reasons); we were sad, but after a few weeks we were just fine. In fact, life was easier. Pets are wonderful when they work in your life. When they don't, they can make it a nightmare. Your kids will bounce back. Your sanity may not. ;)

[deacongirl]

Also, I think this book would have some very helpful ideas on how to keep your 2-yr. old appropriately stimulated so he is not climbing the walls:

http://www.mommyteachme.net/

 

I really feel for you...right now the 2 yr. old is like a Maserati with model-t brakes--but the brakes will start to catch up and it won't always feel so crazy!

[UnsinkableKristen]

I know I already replied, but I just wanted to say again - You are doing SO WELL. It's not your imagination - you have a LOT on your plate and I think you are doing a good job. It's hard to deal with so many things that never, ever stop and sometimes you just need to get in your corner, cry, and regroup and then get going. Many prayers for you!

 

:grouphug:

[elfgivas]

:grouphug:

 

just wanted you to know i thought of you this morning.

 

:grouphug:

 

ann

[Hedgehog]

Jane.. how are things going today? I was just thinking about you.. and said a prayer for you. :grouphug:

[Wyndie]

I kick my older kids out into the backyard (it's fenced and the kitchen door opens into it) and tell them to catch bugs, play soccer, beat each other with hoses, design and build nuclear reactors, split the atom, I don't care...just stay out in the backyard.

 

Wow, can my kids come over? That sounds awesome!

 

OP did you start another thread of safe foods? There are a ton of us here waiting to menu plan for you. If you did, could you link it here?