What to do when child won't cooperate at doctor's office?

[tangomoon]

Had to take the 3.5 year old in to get checked out after a pretty hefty bump to the head this morning. Of course by the time we saw the doctor he was feeling quite a bit better, but absolutely REFUSED to cooperate while the doctor was trying to look in his eyes and ears. We ended up having to hold him down on the table. This particular child is slow to warm up to new situations & people in the best of situations.

 

What do you do during a situation like that (and afterwards)? He has to have surgery for a hydrocele in a couple weeks, and after this morning's experience I'm a bit worried as to how it will go. Any advice or tips would be appreciated!

[Tap]

No worries about the surgery. They will give him a 'cocktail' before hand that will make him very, very happy. LOL Then when he wakes up, you will be almost ready to go home.

[Parrothead]

Well if he is having surgery he will be out for it.

 

Talk to him. Explain that some things we have no choice but to comply. Role play with him and give him lots of information.

 

Let him lovingly know now that you will do what needs to be done so he will comply. If it turns out you will have to hold him tight sit him in your lap and talk him through it.

[tangomoon]

Thanks :) I'm probably overthinking things, so I appreciate the tips.

[RahRah]

Do you have a children's museum nearby? If they have a pretend doctor's office, that might help him feel more comfortable going to the doctor in the future. Some have teddy bear check-up days and things like that to help kids get over fears of the doctor's office too.

[Cinder]

An old doc once had to check ds1's ears. He told me to hold ds, lay his head on my shoulder, and hold his head so he doesn't move it around. I've done this with all my dc and it works very well.

 

For eyes, it helped dd for us to sit in the chair, not on the exam table. She sat in my lap and I held her body with one hand and her forehead with the other. The doc had to squat down to check her but he's willing to do what it takes. :001_smile:

 

I think it helps the child be at ease when they're being held closely.

 

ETA: Dd always has her favorite blankie with her at the doc.

 

Cinder

Edited December 2, 2010 by Cinder

[ChristusG]

When dealing with my child's health, I just do what it takes to let the doctor do his/her job efficiently and thoroughly. If that means holding my child down, then so be it. Of course, I'd rather avoid the screaming/crying/holding down, but I have had to do it. A few days prior, I usually calmy discuss what will happen during the visit. I continue reminding about what's upcoming....trying to make it sound as "normal" as possible. I'll just say "Hey, sweetie, remember we go to the doctor in two days to get your eyes looked at. Remember how we talked about cooperating with the doctor? I know you are a big girl and can do it!" Sometimes it helps calm them....sometimes it does not LOL.

 

We have to visit the eye doctor every few months because DD3 has esotriopa in one of her eyes. The first time the entire appointment went fine until it was time to dilate her eyes. After that, there was just no convincing her to cooperate. I don't blame her LOL, I can't stand having my eyes dilated either. The nurse and I held her down while the doctor examined her eyes because it had to be done....right then, while her eyes were dilated.

 

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

[Cindy in FL.]

My ds had to have a chest x-ray as part of an emergency room visit for wheezing when he was about that age. He was refusing to cooperate until I (calmly, but firmly) informed him that we would not be going home until it was done. That did the trick with him.

 

I know that it can be very difficult to be in that situation. Hope you find something that works!

 

Cindy

[Hillary in KS]

Make an appt. to tour the surgical area before your ds' surgery. (I've had to do this twice with 2 different preschoolers)

 

They'll show your ds that different rooms he'll be in, the gown he'll wear, and the equipment they'll use. They'll explain everything that will go on, and show him the masks that they all wear. Bring a stuffed anumal to go back into the operating room with him. One of the nurses put a mask on my ds' stuffed dog, so they weren't so scary to him.

 

Some hospitals give out coloring books, etc. to prepare young patients for surgery. But call them, and ask to come in. Hospitals REALLY want everything to go smoothly that day, so they will probably be happy to schedule a visit!

[rafiki]

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[Pretty in Pink]

My little ones have always been much more cooperative, or at least less resistant, when I sit on the table behind them, my legs open, and they sit between my legs with their back resting against my chest. For ear checks I hold them chest to chest and let them rest their head on my shoulder.

 

You have my sympathies. I had to hold my 2.5 yr old down yesterday while he received two injections. Poor guy.

[Terabith]

My 6.5 year old is like this. It is very difficult. I've always "prepped" him on what to expect, taken him along to his brother's appointments, but when it is his turn, look out. He HATES going to doctors or dentists with a passion. He was in the hospital for a few days ~ the age of 2 and I wonder if he remembers that because ever since it's been a struggle. He is normally a compliant child, but will hide under my chair, hide his face, kick, scream, or completely ignore them. More than once it's taken me and a few nurses to hold him down. I have even gone so far to take him to the store, let him pick out a toy, but tell him he can't play with it until after the appointment. We've taken the toy with us, still in the bag so it's in the car waiting, but he could have cared less after the doctor walked in. I've tried taking him alone (without siblings) and with dh, he acts the same. He has a dental appointment next week. There is no talking to him when he's flipping out, I just keep focusing on my breathing to stay calm while making sure he doesn't injure himself. What is odd, is he gets in the car willingly and walks in the building. He'll even chat with the nurses. The doctor walks in and he literally climbs off the table/chair and heads for the door. :confused:

 

Honestly? I'd ask his doctor for a prescription for a low dose of valium to keep on hand for medical/ dental appointments. That sounds like severe anxiety rather than deliberately bad behavior to me. I bet the doc would be willing to go for it.

[Paige]

My DDs are awful with the doctors. They are better now that they are 6 but they used to freak out when we even drove near the Dr. They would need 3 nurses plus myself just for shots, hearing tests (which they could never get an accurate one for until this year because of the screaming!), and iron tests even though they are teeny. They were NICU babies with bad veins and had to get the synagis shots their first 2 years so I think that deep down they have a fear even if they don't remember it that is different from most kids. If they have to do something then we just hold them down and hope it doesn't take long. If it isn't really necessary, we don't do it.

 

Honestly? I'd ask his doctor for a prescription for a low dose of valium to keep on hand for medical/ dental appointments. That sounds like severe anxiety rather than deliberately bad behavior to me. I bet the doc would be willing to go for it.

 

Yes, my DD will get a prescription for chloral hydrate before a few procedures. It chills her out and makes it so the people working with her can do their job. We don't ask for it for regular appointments and shots but when I know there's going to be something that she especially doesn't like and has to cooperate for, then it is a lifesaver.