Chris in VA Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Ds19 at loose ends. He's limping to the finish of his first semester of CC, not going back. Doesn't want to study right now. Could use a better job, as this one has him working until 1:30 am and not making very much at all. Doesn't want college right now. Addiction issues still. Looking at military, not sure if he wants to make the plunge. Really doesn't know what he wants--other than to just be a teen instead of an adult. Still struggling with having been sent into treatment outside of the home. Says he is only good at being sneaking and getting around the law (words to warm a parent's heart). I looked at Deep Water for him, but he has to find something himself--however, putting information in his path is fine. SO... He craves excitement. He needs structure. He is pretty base. He's not a Christian or a believer in just about anything (maybe some sort of First Cause). He can be a skilled athlete if he stops smoking and starts working out again. Any suggestions? Outdoor stuff? Some way he could learn to think more about others? He doesn't want to do Peace Corps--but maybe there's a place for something else like that/ To be honest, I see him as a broken young man, unsure of what he wants, no direction, feels like a failure, but still has a heart somewhere inside that really craves to do well, to feel good, to shine. Oh dear, I'm tearing up. Any help? Real, practical suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Would Job Corps be something that could work for him?:grouphug: all around, Chris.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Looking at military, not sure if he wants to make the plunge. Really doesn't know what he wants--other than to just be a teen instead of an adult. Still struggling with having been sent into treatment outside of the home. Says he is only good at being sneaking and getting around the law (words to warm a parent's heart). Are his interests more physical or scientific or artsy? Who does he admire? Does he want some training to get a better job? We lean towards what we know, and some of the technical things young men seem very happy in, that I know of, are things like respiratory tech. It is structured, you participate in codes and ICU work. You work with machines and people, and you get to see sickness and caring. Just a thought. I didn't have your son's issues, but I felt horrid at that age, feeling like I really was strong and lively and should be good at something, but I had not a clue as to what. I hated that feeling. Has he taken an aptitude test? I finally broke down, in my 20s, aimlessly taking interesting classes, and asked a professor I really respected what I would be good at. I took his advice, alloyed it with my science interest, and took the career people (not my family....they were too polite to push) had been telling me I should pursue ever since I was 12 years old. I kicked and screamed, and delayed, and ended up taking all that advice. What do others think he would be good at? It is so hard to watch other flounder.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 I think lots of people that age don't know what they want to do "when they grow up". Maybe just making the other parts of life better would help? I'm thinking some sober living recreational activities - try a bike outing, or doing a nature center's hike, or skiing (not sure where you are!) or ice skating. Wonder if there is a sober living outing group he could join? What about making/building something - perhaps doing some work for underprivileged families around the holiday season? Or taking a cooking class? Maybe you or your hubby or an older kid could do an activity with him, to make it more fun? What has he enjoyed in the past? Once you're doing something because you like it, sometimes related job opportunities open up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamee Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Is there anywhere he could go to be apprenticed? I have several friends who were never college material, but are still quite successful having found a passion through apprenticeship in various fields. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 My brother sounds similar and went through some addiction issues as well. He went through a welding course and worked for a while as a welder in a gun factory. He enjoyed it but it didn't make enough money for him (his only real motivator). He eventually ended up going to some more school in medical electronics (although it was very hands-on and looked more like an apprenticeship than traditional school) and now he works at a hospital fixing MRI & CT scan machines. He loves his job, and the hours. He also has great benefits. Any chance your ds is mechanical or technical? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Northrup Grumman has an apprenticeship school for ship building in Newport News. http://www.apprenticeschool.com/ I've also read that watchmakers/repairmen are in short supply and there are apprenticeship schools for those as well. http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/dec2006/sb20061221_267151.htm http://www.lititzwatchtechnicum.org/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 I think you need a college degree to get into the Peace Corps. I had a cousin who went to Japan to teach English for a few years, but she was really good a languages even though it wasn't required she learned Japanese and got to travel a good deal. I knew of someone who would go to Alaska and work in a cannery for a season and then travel with the money he made. I knew someone who worked as a firefighter out west for a while, but it was many years ago and I think they need more training these days. I've seen kids out west that work as guides for raft trips in the summer and ski/snowboarder instructors in the winter. I saw a show on travel to Europe and they said there was a country where the cost of living was comparatively low and some American kids were going there to work and then able to travel through Europe on vacations. I think it was Yugoslavia or some eastern european country. This was a couple of years ago and things could of changed a lot since then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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