Military wives... party attire question

[Wyndie]

My dh and I are going to the squadron Christmas party in a few weeks. It has been YEARS since we have done a military party. A decade ago, everyone wore beautiful gowns and went all out to look wonderful. I have no idea what the style is these days. Although my DH is in CHARGE of this party, he has no idea what dress will be. :banghead: It's going to be kid friendly so I'm thinking it will be more casual than I'm used too. What is a safe bet to wear? Princess attire? Cowboy casual? Business suit? Bathing suit? :lol:

 

I was REALLY hoping to do major dress up b/c I do still have all my gorgeous gowns and never get to wear them, but I also don't want to show up all princessed up and be the only one. lol Hmmm maybe I could go as a snow fairy and pretend I'm scenery...

 

Any and all help appreciated!

[Mrs Mungo]

My dh and I are going to the squadron Christmas party in a few weeks. It has been YEARS since we have done a military party. A decade ago, everyone wore beautiful gowns and went all out to look wonderful. I have no idea what the style is these days. Although my DH is in CHARGE of this party, he has no idea what dress will be. :banghead: It's going to be kid friendly so I'm thinking it will be more casual than I'm used too. What is a safe bet to wear? Princess attire? Cowboy casual? Business suit? Bathing suit? :lol:

 

I was REALLY hoping to do major dress up b/c I do still have all my gorgeous gowns and never get to wear them, but I also don't want to show up all princessed up and be the only one. lol Hmmm maybe I could go as a snow fairy and pretend I'm scenery...

 

Any and all help appreciated!

 

It really depends upon the unit. Do you know what he will be wearing? That's going to be the key.

 

The last unit we were in he wore his dress mess and I wore a dress similar to this.

 

Here in Hawaii, things are more casual than elsewhere. The dress code is aloha shirts, slacks and closed shoes for the guys. I wore my stand-by little black cocktail dresses the last 2 years. This year I wanted to be more sparkly, but not overdressed.

 

So, I'm wearing black dress slacks, heels with just a little sparkle, this bustier with this black shrug over it. I have a ankle length black skirt I could wear with it in the future to a more dressy function.

 

eta: OH!!! A kid-friendly party? I missed that bit. Our unit has 2 parties-an adults-only function and a kids party. I am wearing shorts and nice-but-not-too-nice top to the kids party, I'm in charge of activities, I don't want to get too hot.

[Wyndie]

Well, if it's kid-friendly, then I'm guessing it's not formal... probably not even semi-formal. I would go with casual. (Meaning, "business" casual, not "Daisy Duke" casual.)

 

This is the first kid-friendly one we've been too so I wasn't sure of the level of dressiness. I only just found out a few hours ago that it was kid-friendly. Usually it's adults only but this year they wanted to do a family one.

 

It really depends upon the unit. Do you know what he will be wearing? That's going to be the key.

 

The last unit we were in he wore his dress mess and I wore a dress similar to this.

 

Here in Hawaii, things are more casual than elsewhere. The dress code is aloha shirts, slacks and closed shoes for the guys. I wore my stand-by little black cocktail dresses the last 2 years. This year I wanted to be more sparkly, but not overdressed.

 

So, I'm wearing black dress slacks, heels with just a little sparkle, this bustier with this black shrug over it. I have a ankle length black skirt I could wear with it in the future to a more dressy function.

 

eta: OH!!! A kid-friendly party? I missed that bit. Our unit has 2 parties-an adults-only function and a kids party. I am wearing shorts and nice-but-not-too-nice top to the kids party, I'm in charge of activities, I don't want to get too hot.

 

You have got great style!! I love all of those outfits and am terribly envious. :)

 

My husband has two styles. Military uniform and sloppy. ;) I can never gauge what to wear based on his outfit. lol

 

So I guess really jeans and a nice top will be good enough then? Gee, I don't even have to go shopping for that.

 

Thank you both for your help. I really WOULD have felt silly showing up dressy...

[Mrs Mungo]

This is the first kid-friendly one we've been too so I wasn't sure of the level of dressiness. I only just found out a few hours ago that it was kid-friendly. Usually it's adults only but this year they wanted to do a family one.

 

 

 

You have got great style!! I love all of those outfits and am terribly envious. :)

 

My husband has two styles. Military uniform and sloppy. ;) I can never gauge what to wear based on his outfit. lol

 

So I guess really jeans and a nice top will be good enough then? Gee, I don't even have to go shopping for that.

 

Thank you both for your help. I really WOULD have felt silly showing up dressy...

 

I would wear jeans to a party for kids because they often involve messy crafts. But, again, it depends upon the unit. :tongue_smilie:

[Wyndie]

Welllll...

 

I wouldn't go with jeans. I would go with a nice pair of slacks and a blouse. It is a party, after all.

 

When I went to charm school (said tongue-in-cheek), the protocol officer gave us some visuals to describe each level of dress. Let me see if I can dig those out and post the pictures here...

 

Visuals are always great, thank you!

[Mrs Mungo]

I would only do this if it were a daytime event. If it is an evening event, I would go with the slacks.

 

Okay, yes, I agree with that.

 

Do you have some sort of family liaison or ombudsman or something you could call and ask? How about one of the senior wives? They might know what all is planned.

 

If it's a pot-luck with crafts and games for kids during the day, I would wear jeans and a nice top. If it's an evening party with catering and kids are allowed but not necessarily encouraged, that would be different. So many possibilities these days. :tongue_smilie:

[Wyndie]

I would only do this if it were a daytime event. If it is an evening event, I would go with the slacks.

 

And for some reason, I can't get photobucket to open up for me. That's where my pictures are stored, so I don't know if I will be able to post them for you. Grrrr...

 

Well thank you for trying!! :)

 

Okay, yes, I agree with that.

 

Do you have some sort of family liaison or ombudsman or something you could call and ask? How about one of the senior wives? They might know what all is planned.

 

If it's a pot-luck with crafts and games for kids during the day, I would wear jeans and a nice top. If it's an evening party with catering and kids are allowed but not necessarily encouraged, that would be different. So many possibilities these days. :tongue_smilie:

 

Well DH is in charge but I will ask him if there is a female on the planning committee. I bet she would have a better idea than he does. lol

 

So funny, I had no idea that jeans are ok for daytime and slacks for evening time. I am sooo behind the fashion curve! So thankful for you two to keep me on track. :)

 

It is an evening party with catering and kids allowed. DH said this is the first year they've made it affordable for people to buy tickets for more than themselves and a spouse. Most years tickets are $25.00 each and really, who's going to bring a slew of kids with them for that price? But this year they are $3.00 each thanks to a bunch of restaurants donating stuff so kids are welcome and they are going to have a bounce house (really? after kids eat that doesn't seem like a good idea!) and crafty things but it won't be the theme, just something to the side. There will be beer there so I'm assuming it's more adult than child oriented.

 

Thanks again for your help!

[Wyndie]

VERY helpful, thank you! I can definitely pull off the casual slacks outfit.

 

Love the formal and semi-formal outfits. And I'd like model #2's hair please. :D

 

Thank you so much for these. I will keep them for reference although since DH retires next year, I will not need them for long. lol

[gardening momma]

I would only do this if it were a daytime event. If it is an evening event, I would go with the slacks.

And, if you wear slacks and several people wear jeans, you won't look overdressed. But if everyone else wears slacks and you wear jeans, you will look underdressed. I'd rather be slightly overdressed than underdressed.

[Wyndie]

And, if you wear slacks and several people wear jeans, you won't look overdressed. But if everyone else wears slacks and you wear jeans, you will look underdressed. I'd rather be slightly overdressed than underdressed.

 

Good point! Thanks!

[Mrs Mungo]

Well thank you for trying!! :)

 

 

 

Well DH is in charge but I will ask him if there is a female on the planning committee. I bet she would have a better idea than he does. lol

 

So funny, I had no idea that jeans are ok for daytime and slacks for evening time. I am sooo behind the fashion curve! So thankful for you two to keep me on track. :)

 

It is an evening party with catering and kids allowed. DH said this is the first year they've made it affordable for people to buy tickets for more than themselves and a spouse. Most years tickets are $25.00 each and really, who's going to bring a slew of kids with them for that price? But this year they are $3.00 each thanks to a bunch of restaurants donating stuff so kids are welcome and they are going to have a bounce house (really? after kids eat that doesn't seem like a good idea!) and crafty things but it won't be the theme, just something to the side. There will be beer there so I'm assuming it's more adult than child oriented.

 

Thanks again for your help!

 

So, I would think it's sort of in between. Bounce house, crafts and beer spell holiday party casual to me. I would wear something like pants/denim slacks (these are different than jeans), a tanktop with a sweater over it (one of them would be sparkly or embellished) and boots or heels (depending upon the weather).

 

Like maybe these with this and this. I have that tank in black. It wore it to our last spouse social with some slacks. It went through the washer and dryer perfectly!

[Jamee]

I think it's going to depend on location too. Indoors or out? Not sure I saw that discussed. In the parties we've been to, if they're family friendly and outdoors that much more casual than if they're indoors. If the party is in a park, I don't think there'd be any question that jeans are ok. (Most of my party experience has been in San Diego though and it's more casual there.)

[Wyndie]

So, I would think it's sort of in between. Bounce house, crafts and beer spell holiday party casual to me. I would wear something like pants/denim slacks (these are different than jeans), a tanktop with a sweater over it (one of them would be sparkly or embellished) and boots or heels (depending upon the weather).

 

Like maybe these with this and this. I have that tank in black. It wore it to our last spouse social with some slacks. It went through the washer and dryer perfectly!

 

Oh my, that cardigan is adorable! Thanks again for your style help. I should just tag along after you and buy all the same outfits you do. :D

[Wyndie]

Okay, now you got me all into this topic... lol... so I dug out my issued spouse protocol handbook... copied from the handbook:

 

Page 9: TERMS OF DRESS

 

Individuals will often receive an invitation with the dress specified as either informal, or formal. Certainly, this terminology is appropriate and is found in all protocol books, but tends to confuse many people. You may prefer to use casual, sport coat and tie, business suit, or mess dress on an invitation. Everyone seems to understand these terms. A good host/hostess will strive to eliminate confusion on the part of their guests.

 

"Casual" means "comfortably unrestricted". For men this would be a short or long-sleeve open neck shirt, perhaps with a sweater, and no tie. Sometimes, you will see the terms "Open Collar" or "Sport Shirt" used. These are synonymns with "Casual". For women, any casual dress, slacks, blouse, and long or short skirt are appropriate.

 

[snip]

 

"Business Suit" is a tie and conservative suit (matching pants and jacket) for men and a dressy street-length or "Sunday" dress for the ladies.

 

"Informal" is a vague term, and we discourage its use. You may have an occasion where you genuinely do not care if a guest wears a business suit or a sport coat and tie.

 

"Coat and Tie" is a sports coat and slacks with a tie, the difference between this and business suit is that the coat and pants do not have to match. Ladies wear a dressy street-length of "Sunday" dress.

 

"Formal" attire for the military is the mess dress. Formal attire for civilian men is black tie or tuxedo. Women traditionally wear a tea length dress or floor length evening dress. If you arrive at a new station and are unsure of what to wear... ask! Many commanders' spouses have made it appropriate to wear a cocktail dress because of the large number of mess dress affairs.

 

"Blue Formal Dress" attire is authorized for officers only. It is worn for formal, official evening functions and state occasions (white tie functions). The blue formal uniform is the same as the mess dress with several exceptions. (See another chapter, blah blah blah...) Ladies wear a floor length or tea length evening dress, gloves are optional.

 

(taking a break before I post the rest...)

 

Wow! I didn't get a protocol handbook! I am definitely going to have DH read this so he will know how to word it for all the other wives who are currently wondering what on earth to wear. :D

 

I think it's going to depend on location too. Indoors or out? Not sure I saw that discussed. In the parties we've been to, if they're family friendly and outdoors that much more casual than if they're indoors. If the party is in a park, I don't think there'd be any question that jeans are ok. (Most of my party experience has been in San Diego though and it's more casual there.)

 

It is indoors in a C17 hangar (minus the C17). :)

[Wyndie]

Ugh. I changed my mind. My fingers are wearing out, so I'm not going to type much more other than this:

 

Find out what your husband will be wearing and match your outfit to his level of formality.

 

And now I'm done. :tongue_smilie:

 

Hahaha you crack me up! Thank you for typing all that out. I seriously had no idea it was so complicated but it's nice to have the correct info now. You deserve a finger massage. :)

[Jamee]

It is indoors in a C17 hangar (minus the C17). :)

 

I would almost see that as "outdoors" unless they really fancy it up, or have a completely different section for the kids. With that much space, I just envision children running all over the place, lots of noise, etc.

[Wyndie]

I would almost see that as "outdoors" unless they really fancy it up, or have a completely different section for the kids. With that much space, I just envision children running all over the place, lots of noise, etc.

 

I know they are going to decorate it but don't know if they will be sectioning off the kids area. And that's about the extent of my knowledge of what's going on. lol

[Sebastian (a lady)]

What is the uniform for the military folks? Here's how I usually match up to dh.

 

If dh were wearing black tie (ie, mess dress) then I'd wear floor length or a snazzy cocktail dress.

If it were service dress, then I wouldn't wear floor length, I'd go with cocktail dress or fancy suit or even fancy pantsuit (something with pizzaz and glitter, not just my grey suit).

If it is suit or "informal" then I'd probably wear the same as for service dress.

 

If it is less than informal, then just something that makes me feel pretty and put together but that lets me do a lot of moving around.

 

If it's a party with kids, then nice pants, shoes that are nicer than tennis shoes and a holiday sweater or a pretty sweater with holiday jewelry.

 

If you're in Hawaii, then an aloha dress and I'd make dh spring for a lei. Wear shoes. (ie, not barefoot. But sandals are fine.)

 

And you might point out to your dh that if he's in charge of the party, even nominally, then he has an obligation to make sure that people know the expectations so that no one is inappropriately dressed (from either direction). [it is my pet peeve that people will complain that guests don't come dressed properly when we've failed to give them clues to follow.]

 

Also the more senior the senior people attending, the nicer standard I'd pick. So I might wear a holiday sweatshir or sweater to a kids' party for the family readiness group, but matching nicer Christmas sweaters or other Christmas photo appropriate wear if we were seeing Santa at the flag officer's house.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Discussing Informal attire always reminds me of an episode of JAG where the lawyers who had been dating were on the outs. The guy had made some jab about the girl being too stiff and acting like a grandmother.

The guy shows up to a party at the admiral's house in jeans and a polo shirt. Everyone else is in open collar shirts with blazers. The girls he's on the outs with is in a pretty garden dress.

 

She looks him up and down and says, "Even I know that informal doesn't mean casual. My grandmother taught ME that."

 

Just makes me chuckle whenever I think of informal.

 

Now the least helpful Christmas invite was the one that listed attire as:

Semi-formal or aloha casual.

 

That made my head spin because the spread was about three levels of formality.

[Wyndie]

What is the uniform for the military folks? Here's how I usually match up to dh.

 

If dh were wearing black tie (ie, mess dress) then I'd wear floor length or a snazzy cocktail dress.

If it were service dress, then I wouldn't wear floor length, I'd go with cocktail dress or fancy suit or even fancy pantsuit (something with pizzaz and glitter, not just my grey suit).

If it is suit or "informal" then I'd probably wear the same as for service dress.

 

If it is less than informal, then just something that makes me feel pretty and put together but that lets me do a lot of moving around.

 

If it's a party with kids, then nice pants, shoes that are nicer than tennis shoes and a holiday sweater or a pretty sweater with holiday jewelry.

 

If you're in Hawaii, then an aloha dress and I'd make dh spring for a lei. Wear shoes. (ie, not barefoot. But sandals are fine.)

 

And you might point out to your dh that if he's in charge of the party, even nominally, then he has an obligation to make sure that people know the expectations so that no one is inappropriately dressed (from either direction). [it is my pet peeve that people will complain that guests don't come dressed properly when we've failed to give them clues to follow.]

 

Also the more senior the senior people attending, the nicer standard I'd pick. So I might wear a holiday sweatshir or sweater to a kids' party for the family readiness group, but matching nicer Christmas sweaters or other Christmas photo appropriate wear if we were seeing Santa at the flag officer's house.

 

Yes thank you! I did mention to him that he HAS to state the dress so others will know what to wear. He said he will read this thread and mention it at his next meeting.

 

:)

[OnTheBrink]

It is indoors in a C17 hangar (minus the C17). :)

 

It's just not a party without the C17. LOL

 

Sorry, I have nothing to add other than a lame one-liner. The closest I've ever gotten to a military party was a NASA party at Edwards AFB. I'm thinking the ambiance might have been a bit different. ;)

[Wyndie]

It's just not a party without the C17. LOL

 

Sorry, I have nothing to add other than a lame one-liner. The closest I've ever gotten to a military party was a NASA party at Edwards AFB. I'm thinking the ambiance might have been a bit different. ;)

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

Now the least helpful Christmas invite was the one that listed attire as:

Semi-formal or aloha casual.

 

That made my head spin because the spread was about three levels of formality.

 

 

Our adult Christmas party is "aloha crisp." Did you see my linked attire choices? :P

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Military protocol aside-an invitation to a party this large typically gives a clue to the dress code. If your husband is in charge he should include this information.