Jump to content

Menu

So here's my wwyd situation.


Recommended Posts

My life has been a roller coaster ride for the last year. I am thankful for my faith and my strong support network that has definitely carried me and my family through some unbelievably turbulent times.

 

DH lost his job of 21 yrs in Feb. (due to mill closure). He then had two surgeries, suffered from depression (wondering what would he do at 48yrs of age).

 

I went back to work full time and have continued to homeschool.

 

So, things began to look up a bit in September when my dh got a new lease on life, did some retraining and earned a ticket which has now given him some sporadic work. Yeah!!!

 

Yesterday he was offered and began work that is still temporary in nature but is excellent pay and has the potential of lasting more than a year (although its not cast in stone). No benefits.

 

So, now we have he and I working full time while our two out of three of our kiddies are homeschooled (Grade 9). In Sept. we were forced to put our youngest in school because he was unable to work independently and I was relatively confident he could handle himself in school.

 

So now I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming of coming home (and my dh supports this dream). My job pays well, has benefits and I like the work but I have a crazy boss who sucks the life out of me (literally . . . and has a reputation for harassment. . . its not just me). I can't tell you how many times this past year I came home ready to snap mentally, because of all the stress.

 

I realize staying with my job offers long term security but it does nothing for my life or my children's life. The two who are home want to stay home (well my eldest ds would want to go to public school but has some special circumstances that make home absolutely the best solution for him and ps the worst).

 

Staying home will restore some quality of life to our home and will one hundred percent improve the quality of my children's life and my own.

 

So, the question is would you quit a job to stay home knowing that your dh's job is not secure (although I'm beginning to see how his new ticket will likely provide him with work elsewhere if necessary) for the sake of your family.

 

(btw I have very strong faith in God to provide although I do believe in personal responsibility. We know we are responsible to do our part.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can you finish out this school year? Just to get on a bit better footing financially and so that there is continuity in the schooling for the year?

 

:iagree:

 

I think that's a good compromise. It will allow you to set some money aside, so if your dh loses his job, you'll have some financial security, yet will also provide you with a "light at the end of the tunnel" in terms of getting away from your rotten boss and back home with your kids.

 

Cat

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My life has been a roller coaster ride for the last year. I am thankful for my faith and my strong support network that has definitely carried me and my family through some unbelievably turbulent times.

 

DH lost his job of 21 yrs in Feb. (due to mill closure). He then had two surgeries, suffered from depression (wondering what would he do at 48yrs of age).

 

I went back to work full time and have continued to homeschool.

 

So, things began to look up a bit in September when my dh got a new lease on life, did some retraining and earned a ticket which has now given him some sporadic work. Yeah!!!

 

Yesterday he was offered and began work that is still temporary in nature but is excellent pay and has the potential of lasting more than a year (although its not cast in stone). No benefits.

 

So, now we have he and I working full time while our two out of three of our kiddies are homeschooled (Grade 9). In Sept. we were forced to put our youngest in school because he was unable to work independently and I was relatively confident he could handle himself in school.

 

So now I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming of coming home (and my dh supports this dream). My job pays well, has benefits and I like the work but I have a crazy boss who sucks the life out of me (literally . . . and has a reputation for harassment. . . its not just me). I can't tell you how many times this past year I came home ready to snap mentally, because of all the stress.

 

I realize staying with my job offers long term security but it does nothing for my life or my children's life. The two who are home want to stay home (well my eldest ds would want to go to public school but has some special circumstances that make home absolutely the best solution for him and ps the worst).

 

Staying home will restore some quality of life to our home and will one hundred percent improve the quality of my children's life and my own.

 

So, the question is would you quit a job to stay home knowing that your dh's job is not secure (although I'm beginning to see how his new ticket will likely provide him with work elsewhere if necessary) for the sake of your family.

 

(btw I have very strong faith in God to provide although I do believe in personal responsibility. We know we are responsible to do our part.)

 

I got a part time job when my dh lost his job. After a year of unemployment he got a job and I decided to keep my job.

It was in the evening so I was able to keep up homeschooling even though our schedule was quite tight. I loved my job. It was therapeutic for me. We were hoping to finally get ahead financially. About 2 mos. in my dh quit his job and took another that did not pay the bills. Now I HAD to work just to pay the bills but I liked my job and homeschooling was still going fine. As time went on I got the feeling that the kids weren't happy when it was just them and daddy. I got the feeling that daddy wasn't happy when it was just him and the kids. But we kept trudging on because it had become necessary. Then my 7yo dd got fed up with something at home, snuck out of the house, tried to walk to my work, got lost, and was gone almost 2 hours. DH never knew she was gone. I quit work the next day. She is fine. But the what-if's were so monstrously HUGE. I would rather eat beans in a dirt hut than lose a child, physically or emotionally. Good thing for me, because that's basically what we're doing. :tongue_smilie:

 

ETA: So to answer your question...wwyd? I apparently would keep the job hoping for some financial security. It felt like a slap in the face when the financial security thing didn't pan out. But I did try. I hope it works out for you better than it did for me. :001_smile:

Edited by silliness7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Then my 7yo dd got fed up with something at home, snuck out of the house, tried to walk to my work, got lost, and was gone almost 2 hours. DH never knew she was gone. I quit work the next day. She is fine. But the what-if's were so monstrously HUGE. I would rather eat beans in a dirt hut than lose a child, physically or emotionally. Good thing for me, because that's basically what we're doing. :tongue_smilie:

 

OMG!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

 

You must have been terrified! (And how did you keep yourself from killing your dh?)

 

Cat

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would rather eat beans in a dirt hut than lose a child, physically or emotionally. Good thing for me, because that's basically what we're doing. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

 

See that's how I feel but I'm not sure I'm being objective enough because, of course, financial security is important too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So now I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming of coming home (and my dh supports this dream). My job pays well, has benefits and I like the work but I have a crazy boss who sucks the life out of me (literally . . . and has a reputation for harassment. . . its not just me). I can't tell you how many times this past year I came home ready to snap mentally, because of all the stress.

I realize staying with my job offers long term security but it does nothing for my life or my children's life. The two who are home want to stay home (well my eldest ds would want to go to public school but has some special circumstances that make home absolutely the best solution for him and ps the worst).

 

Staying home will restore some quality of life to our home and will one hundred percent improve the quality of my children's life and my own.

 

So, the question is would you quit a job to stay home knowing that your dh's job is not secure (although I'm beginning to see how his new ticket will likely provide him with work elsewhere if necessary) for the sake of your family.

 

(btw I have very strong faith in God to provide although I do believe in personal responsibility. We know we are responsible to do our part.)[/QUOTE]

 

I think the bolded parts say it all. I would make it reality, not a dream.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd quit. I think you can always get another job. You can't get back the time with your kids. I do have a job btw, but am self-employed and am never away from the kids and only work from home a few months of the year. So it isn't that I am against working. I just think you can manage without the money so should enjoy the kids, esp since your boss is not so nice!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd quit. You never get the time back.

You can always go back if you need to.

There are things you can do at home or in the evenings--these are options you might prepare for.

In what, 4 years? you'll have two less at home. You'll be sending them off, perhaps to never live at home again. Now is precious time for them to build relationship with you. Don't let them only have "the good old days" when they were very young for memories--build memories now!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd finish out the school year. Meanwhile, we would try to live on DH's income, and put mine into savings. I'd quit when the school year was over, if circumstances allowed it.

 

I wouldn't put up with harassment by anyone, including my boss, though. I'd find a way to deal with that by speaking directly to him first, and then going over his head. There is just no way I will allow anyone to mistreat me. Frankly, in my experience, crazy bosses mistreat their employees because they are allowed to by the employees, who are scared to lose their jobs. I've confronted bosses in the past and they have stopped harassing me, although they continued to treat the other employees like dirt. Well, one boss did get fired for it - lickety split.

Edited by RoughCollie
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd quit. You never get the time back.

You can always go back if you need to.

There are things you can do at home or in the evenings--these are options you might prepare for.

In what, 4 years? you'll have two less at home. You'll be sending them off, perhaps to never live at home again. Now is precious time for them to build relationship with you. Don't let them only have "the good old days" when they were very young for memories--build memories now!

 

:iagree:Life's too short not to quit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How old are you kids? Is your oldest in 9th Grade or your youngest?

 

If you quit, what are you going to do for health insurance? Could you find a similar job somewhere with a better boss? Do you have any savings? Retirement? College funds? If something happens to your DH work and he is out of work, could you lose your house?

 

If the kids are in school, what is the worse problem that would arise? What is the likelihood of the various problems happening? To which kid and is it a short-term (reversible problem) or a long-term issue.

 

So I'd weigh all these questions, but I'd be saving every penny now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Yesterday he was offered and began work that is still temporary in nature but is excellent pay and has the potential of lasting more than a year (although its not cast in stone). No benefits.

 

 

 

 

I'm not familiar with Canadian bennies. What would you be losing?

 

I know people who work part time JUST for bennies. Could you do that? Again, in the US, bennies are important.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How old are you kids? Is your oldest in 9th Grade or your youngest?

 

If you quit, what are you going to do for health insurance? Could you find a similar job somewhere with a better boss? Do you have any savings? Retirement? College funds? If something happens to your DH work and he is out of work, could you lose your house?

 

If the kids are in school, what is the worse problem that would arise? What is the likelihood of the various problems happening? To which kid and is it a short-term (reversible problem) or a long-term issue.

 

So I'd weigh all these questions, but I'd be saving every penny now.

 

 

I have a 13 yr old and two 14 year olds.

 

We would be responsible for paying the family medical service plan premiums which are $114/mnth for the whole family. This doesn't cover dental or glasses. (If we wanted to pay for a private plan that covers those items we would be looking at approx. $300 for a family of 5.)

 

We have enough savings that we could live frugally for quite some time should my dh lose work.

 

We own our house mortgage free.

 

The kid that really needs me (although they all do) could benefit from homeschooling until Grade 12.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not familiar with Canadian bennies. What would you be losing?

 

I know people who work part time JUST for bennies. Could you do that? Again, in the US, bennies are important.

 

If I could find part time I would definitely do that (and am looking). We live in a small town that has been hit hard by the economy so there aren't a lot of jobs. However, it may be possible for me to go to casual work, where I work now (which is what I did prior to taking this full time job).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

part-time? Reduce your working hours, spend more time at home, but still save a little extra money?

 

Just a thought.

 

I know she's not (she recently informed me that over time was mandatory which forced me to go to my union to ask if this was true. Of course it wasn't but she wants every minute she can from me.) However, this is what I plan to do (I was thinking this way all day today.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the boss is the problem, start confronting the problem. Work to make the job fit a bit longer....if you get fired in the process, so be it.

 

I had a job I hated at one point. I absolutely despised my boss. I dreaded going to work each day.

 

But, I knew I only needed to do it for one year. I had a time line. I had a final date picked out after my first month there. The thing that got me through it all, was the idea that my job, while not my favorite was much better than what many, many people in the world do for a living. I wasn't carrying bricks of clay on my head for 12 hours straight. I wasn't working in a sweat shop. I wasn't placing my life or my morals on the line to put food on the table. I figured that I could do anything for one year. I could make the best of it for my family.

 

That year came and went, so did the job.

 

 

Until your dh gets a permanent job, I would stay put. Make the best of it. Keep homeschooling, but make sure you are doing what you need to do to provide for your family.

 

 

Providing a steady paycheck is part of taking care of you family. Yes, it is ideal for you to be home, but right now, you need to make sure you have the money to keep food on the table. If the economy isn't great in your area, and replacing the the job isn't likely, I especially wouldn't leave just yet.

 

 

Last year, (different circumstance) to make homeschooling work, I homeschooled dd12 from 9pm-12am. She would go to sleep around 3 am and get up at noon. I worked from 12pm-8pm. She would do her independent work between 12am-3am or during the day. It worked great for the year we needed it to. :0)

 

 

 

I think, that if you Knew it was time to quit, you would already know it and you wouldn't be posting here, questioning yourself. Set a date and start your countdown, but stick it out just a bit longer.

 

 

Any chance there is a part time opportunity at the same employer?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a 13 yr old and two 14 year olds.

 

We would be responsible for paying the family medical service plan premiums which are $114/mnth for the whole family. This doesn't cover dental or glasses. (If we wanted to pay for a private plan that covers those items we would be looking at approx. $300 for a family of 5.)

 

We have enough savings that we could live frugally for quite some time should my dh lose work.

 

We own our house mortgage free.

 

The kid that really needs me (although they all do) could benefit from homeschooling until Grade 12.

 

Based on this, if I were in your situation, I would definitely quit now and have them all home asap with the intent to keep them home through high school. Your kids will be on their own in a few years. Enjoy this time with them now. I'd probably get everyone to a dentist and eye doctor quickly and get whatever needed to be done taken care of right now while you have coverage for those things. I'd probably just pay the medical premiums if everyone's teeth and eye care had recently been taken care of. Best wishes, and let us know what you decide. :grouphug:

Edited by Violet
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know she's not (she recently informed me that over time was mandatory which forced me to go to my union to ask if this was true. Of course it wasn't but she wants every minute she can from me.) However, this is what I plan to do (I was thinking this way all day today.)

 

I hope it works out for you. Sometimes bosses compromise when their choices are a) loosing an employee they need, and b) being more flexible about hours.

 

Maybe b will look more attractive to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...