Dear Hallmark,

[Aubrey]

I need a friendly way to say, "You make me feel like death." And an "It's not you; it's me," would be a great sentiment to throw in there, too.

 

Thank you,

 

Aubrey

[Catwoman]

They don't have one for that?

 

I thought they had a card for everything! ;)

 

Cat

 

PS. I'm really hoping you're not planning to send that card to me...

[Hunter's Moon]

I need a friendly way to say, "You make me feel like death." And an "It's not you; it's me," would be a great sentiment to throw in there, too.

 

Thank you,

 

Aubrey

 

Maybe they can use a picture of Buckwheat from The Little Rascals on the card.

 

I can so imagine him saying that.

[Remudamom]

Don't make me pm you!!!

 

Have you run into our former piano teacher????

[Aubrey]

No, no piano teachers, nobody here! (My goodness, don't y'all give me *any* credit for common decency? If I wanted to send you guys that card, I'd *at least* ask on some other public board!)

 

There's this...person...who for some inexplicable reason makes me feel like a masochist when I see her. I once spent an afternoon w/ her & some other ladies & when I came home, I realized how ICKY I felt the whole time. *Realizing* it once I was away from her made me completely irrational & panicky. I get weird when I'm like that, kind-of repeating myself & ranting. Seems like dh wanted to watch a movie or something, & I couldn't focus on anything other than the urge to bleach my brain & gouge my eyes out. Inexplicably.

 

So it's very weird, just me, nothing she's done, but I'd really prefer she not try to be my friend. There's not a nice way to say that, is there? And she's...sort-of pursuing a friendship. And it's not like...subtle hints would deter that, because she thinks I'm lonely & wants to help. Which is *nice.* But...I'm not lonely.

[Aubrey]

Maybe they can use a picture of Buckwheat from The Little Rascals on the card.

 

I can so imagine him saying that.

 

I'm afraid that might come across as a friendly gesture, though, & not "friendly" in the sense that I'm looking for.

 

I mean--if you got a card like that w/ his pic on the front, wouldn't you die laughing, throw your arms around the giver & say, "I LOVE you! You're SO my kind of person!"

 

That's the opposite of the reaction I'm looking for. Well, not opposite. I don't need a greeting card to get someone to hate me.

[Tidbits of Learning]

No, no piano teachers, nobody here! (My goodness, don't y'all give me *any* credit for common decency? If I wanted to send you guys that card, I'd *at least* ask on some other public board!)

 

There's this...person...who for some inexplicable reason makes me feel like a masochist when I see her. I once spent an afternoon w/ her & some other ladies & when I came home, I realized how ICKY I felt the whole time. *Realizing* it once I was away from her made me completely irrational & panicky. I get weird when I'm like that, kind-of repeating myself & ranting. Seems like dh wanted to watch a movie or something, & I couldn't focus on anything other than the urge to bleach my brain & gouge my eyes out. Inexplicably.

 

So it's very weird, just me, nothing she's done, but I'd really prefer she not try to be my friend. There's not a nice way to say that, is there? And she's...sort-of pursuing a friendship. And it's not like...subtle hints would deter that, because she thinks I'm lonely & wants to help. Which is *nice.* But...I'm not lonely.

 

Since you truly aren't lonely, be VERY busy. No time for a chat, no time for a phone call, no time to meet....if there isn't an established friendship it shouldn't be too hard to give her the slip.

[Aubrey]

Since you truly aren't lonely, be VERY busy. No time for a chat, no time for a phone call, no time to meet....if there isn't an established friendship it shouldn't be too hard to give her the slip.

 

You'd be surprised. :glare: There's email, for ex. I know that's not incredibly personal, but this entire thread is in response to a short mssg that makes me want to peel my skin off. (A really, truly innocent mssg. There is *nothing* wrong w/ this person.)

[Hunter's Moon]

I'm afraid that might come across as a friendly gesture, though, & not "friendly" in the sense that I'm looking for.

 

I mean--if you got a card like that w/ his pic on the front, wouldn't you die laughing, throw your arms around the giver & say, "I LOVE you! You're SO my kind of person!"

 

That's the opposite of the reaction I'm looking for. Well, not opposite. I don't need a greeting card to get someone to hate me.

 

Yeah, I see what you mean. He's too cute not too come across as a friendly gesture.

[KidsHappen]

You'd be surprised. :glare: There's email, for ex. I know that's not incredibly personal, but this entire thread is in response to a short mssg that makes me want to peel my skin off. (A really, truly innocent mssg. There is *nothing* wrong w/ this person.)

 

Don't answer the email, don't answer phone calls from her and if she should God forbid show up on your doorstep unannounced, don't answer the door even if it is obvious you are home. If you ignore her long enough, hopefully she will get the message. If not simply but politely explain that you are really busy and have your plate full and don't have time for new friends. If that fails, claim introversion and social anxiety. Finally, if all else fails, tell her that you have been as polite as your can possibly be but she doesn't seem to be getting the message but you really aren't interested. At that point, I would just start ignoring her as in if she walked up and started talking to me I would turn around and walk away.

[Aubrey]

Don't answer the email, don't answer phone calls from her and if she should God forbid show up on your doorstep unannounced, don't answer the door even if it is obvious you are home. If you ignore her long enough, hopefully she will get the message. If not simply but politely explain that you are really busy and have your plate full and don't have time for new friends. If that fails, claim introversion and social anxiety. Finally, if all else fails, tell her that you have been as polite as your can possibly be but she doesn't seem to be getting the message but you really aren't interested. At that point, I would just start ignoring her as in if she walked up and started talking to me I would turn around and walk away.

 

Aww, but she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment--she hasn't done anything wrong, I'm just a kook. And I *am* introverted, & I *do* have social anxiety. See? I told you it was me, not her.

 

This is really just supposed to be a funny vent, but I do wish we could wear some kind of color-coding or dewey decimal numbers, so we could say to people very simply--oh, look at that! I'm on the wrong shelf! And there'd be no hard feelings.

 

Of course, I guess that still leaves the problem of biographies about artists & other such cross-overs.

[Denisemomof4]

No, no piano teachers, nobody here! (My goodness, don't y'all give me *any* credit for common decency? If I wanted to send you guys that card, I'd *at least* ask on some other public board!)

 

There's this...person...who for some inexplicable reason makes me feel like a masochist when I see her. I once spent an afternoon w/ her & some other ladies & when I came home, I realized how ICKY I felt the whole time. *Realizing* it once I was away from her made me completely irrational & panicky. I get weird when I'm like that, kind-of repeating myself & ranting. Seems like dh wanted to watch a movie or something, & I couldn't focus on anything other than the urge to bleach my brain & gouge my eyes out. Inexplicably.

 

So it's very weird, just me, nothing she's done, but I'd really prefer she not try to be my friend. There's not a nice way to say that, is there? And she's...sort-of pursuing a friendship. And it's not like...subtle hints would deter that, because she thinks I'm lonely & wants to help. Which is *nice.* But...I'm not lonely.

 

You OBVIOUSLY are feeling this way for a reason. Trust it. Keep making excuses for why you can't get together. HOpefully she'll catch on. If she doesn't, simply get caller I.D. and don't pick up if she calls.

[Remudamom]

Now, now, no one is accusing you of having no common decency. It's just that our piano teacher was the same way. Drove me and the girls nuts. Made us want to scream!! You know, peel our skin off.

[Aubrey]

Now, now, no one is accusing you of having no common decency. It's just that our piano teacher was the same way. Drove me and the girls nuts. Made us want to scream!! You know, peel our skin off.

 

The "common decency" remark was for Cat. ;)

 

My sympathies on your piano teacher. I hope the experience has not left a permanent association-scar with music. :lol: (If that doesn't make sense, ignore me. I retyped it a bunch of times, & that's the best I can do.)

[missesd]

I think I am color coded the way you are.... introvert for the most part, I probably do have social anxiety. My friend keeps telling me I am "anti-social", and while I like HER, and I am not the mix n mingle type. I have done it, I can do it, but it's not usually my go-to, if you know what I mean. It's happened twice now, that she has made a comment, and kind of made me feel weird. Maybe it makes her feel weird, I don't know... maybe she feels sorry for me, and her heart is in the right place. But I am happy right where I am, doing whatever it is I am- it's usually with the kids or the teens. Anyway, I noticed the last time she was over she made pointed mention about how so and so was her best friend and they do everything together, and any family thing is an auto invite. Kinda hurt my feelings, but I "whatever'd" it, I mean what can I do?? Then she had asked me if I was going BF shopping awhile back, and I said I didn't know that in the past hubby was the one to do that. I asked her if she was going, she said no, but she might if I was. So I start making plans to go, I ask her later if she is going, she says "yes". I was like huh?? I thought if I was going we'd go together, she said she never remembered saying that. Now it could have been a miscommunication, but coupled with the other, the lack of phone calls or text... I just feel liek she is trying to distance herself away. It hurts, I thought maybe it was because of my marriage drama, but she was never close to DH, so who knows??

 

In short, I am you... but she is apparently doing or feeling about me the way you are this other lady. I have no advice, but it sucks on both sides, I suppose :(

[merry gardens]

Aww, but she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment--she hasn't done anything wrong, I'm just a kook. And I *am* introverted, & I *do* have social anxiety. See? I told you it was me, not her.

 

This is really just supposed to be a funny vent, but I do wish we could wear some kind of color-coding or dewey decimal numbers, so we could say to people very simply--oh, look at that! I'm on the wrong shelf! And there'd be no hard feelings.

 

Of course, I guess that still leaves the problem of biographies about artists & other such cross-overs.

Here's my idea for that Hallmark card: This picture on the front

 

On the inside, in really, really tiny print the entire text from Brian Kim's Top 5 Things Every Extravert Should Know About Introverts http://www.yousaytoo.com/kowntol/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/27504

[melissel]

Here's my idea for that Hallmark card: This picture on the front

 

On the inside, in really, really tiny print the entire text from Brian Kim's Top 5 Things Every Extravert Should Know About Introverts http://www.yousaytoo.com/kowntol/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/27504

 

:lol:

 

Thank you for that link! I'm totally sending it to my DH so he knows I'm not the only one out there!

[i.love.lucy]

Aww, but she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment--she hasn't done anything wrong, I'm just a kook. And I *am* introverted, & I *do* have social anxiety. See? I told you it was me, not her.

 

This is really just supposed to be a funny vent, but I do wish we could wear some kind of color-coding or dewey decimal numbers, so we could say to people very simply--oh, look at that! I'm on the wrong shelf! And there'd be no hard feelings.

 

Of course, I guess that still leaves the problem of biographies about artists & other such cross-overs.

Herein lies the problem. You are funny. You are sweet. You are likely nice to be around. Why wouldn't she want to be your friend? Poor gal. Unfortunately it sounds like it *is* HER. I agree that you just need to be very, very busy. Even short and curt responses to emails.

 

Good luck! I have a friend that dumped me, I probably somehow made her want to buy that card you are looking for too. *shrug* Who knew I was that brain-bleaching-skin-peeling-eye-gouging-anxiety causing person?:tongue_smilie:

[Catwoman]

You OBVIOUSLY are feeling this way for a reason. Trust it. Keep making excuses for why you can't get together. HOpefully she'll catch on. If she doesn't, simply get caller I.D. and don't pick up if she calls.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Ok, so she's not evil. She doesn't have repulsive personal habits. She isn't contagious. She hasn't brandished a weapon.

 

But, still, something is triggering your Creep-o-Meter.

 

Trust that feeling.

 

Maybe she's just acting nice, but is really two-faced. Maybe the truth is that she is the lonely one, and needs a friend.

 

Whatever the case, everyone doesn't like everyone, and you don't have to like this woman, even if everyone else you know thinks she's wonderful. (Ok, probably everyone liked Mother Teresa, but I'll bet there was still that one kid in second grade who hated her guts and never got over it.) Even if this woman really and truly is a great person, she may not be a great friend for you.

 

Personally, I think that if she pursues a friendship with you after seeing that you aren't responding, it demonstrates selfishness on her part, not consideration and kindness toward you. I would just keep avoiding her and making excuses for a while longer, and if that doesn't work, eventually I'd just tell her that I didn't have time for new friendships right now, but that I appreciated her kindness.

 

And if that didn't work, I'd ask Remudamom to have a little chat with her for me. :D

 

Cat

[Mejane]

I've seen going-away cards that wish someone a nice life. Would that be too obvious? ;)

[Harriet Vane]

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Ok, so she's not evil. She doesn't have repulsive personal habits. She isn't contagious. She hasn't brandished a weapon.

 

But, still, something is triggering your Creep-o-Meter.

 

Trust that feeling.

 

 

 

:iagree:

[Aubrey]

Good luck! I have a friend that dumped me, I probably somehow made her want to buy that card you are looking for too. *shrug* Who knew I was that brain-bleaching-skin-peeling-eye-gouging-anxiety causing person?:tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, I'm so sorry! This is a totally different situation--I'm sorry, I didn't mention it because I was afraid it was too much information: she's the ladies' pastor at church (or wants to be), & I'm a "project." This has very little to do w/ friendship at all. I do think she means well, & I don't even always mind being someone's project. Unfortunately, she fundamentally misunderstands me & has indirectly told me I'm a bad Christian & that if I don't do better, it will be reflected in my children. She is a little older than me & has a kind-of dominant personality, but she has one child who is very young, so...thanks, I think I'm good on my faith & parenting.

 

Actually, it was kind-of good. It was the first time I've been able to look a person in the eye & really stick up for myself w/out their opinion of me bothering me in the least. But since then, I do find conversations w/ her rather draining. And there is something completely else about her that bothers me on a spiritual level. I have no good reason for it, but it hits me in a very vulnerable spot.

 

I suspect that we have similar backgrounds or something like that, & that I can almost sense her pain when I'm around her. It would be one thing if we were openly talking about it. This subcurrent version, though, is too much for me to handle, & that is very decidedly NOT something she is doing. When I come away from time w/ her, I feel so depressed it's like...feeling suicidal. And it's not because of anything she says or does. Like I said, the best I can guess is that we have similar backgrounds, & somehow I can feel that.

 

I hope I haven't hurt you in this thread. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I mean, there are people I don't like, but I actually have *reasons.* I don't even feel like I could help or encourage this lady because a) we don't talk about whatever it is (& it's not like you can bring something like that up), & b) I feel like I'm drowning when I'm with her. Completely giving-up, panic-stricken. It's weird. And there's not a nice way to say that.

[Catwoman]

...has indirectly told me I'm a bad Christian & that if I don't do better, it will be reflected in my children.

 

Forget everything I said about being kind.

 

Ditch her.

 

She's not nice; she's toxic.

 

Who is she to tell you whether or not you're a good Christian or a good Mom? :sneaky2: I'm glad you stood up to her, and if she tries to be your "friend" in the future, you may want to simply tell her that it's clear to you that you don't need to be anyone's Little Christian Project Person and that you're perfectly capable of running your own life. She doesn't want to be your friend; she wants to tell you what to do, under the guise of being helpful.

 

She sounds nervy to me.

 

Cat

[FaithManor]

Aubrey, I've met her kind before...they trip off many creep-o-meters, annoy-o-meters, anger-meters, want to eat boogers in front of you so you will leave me alone -o- meters, etc.

 

She's one of those holier than thou people....this sets off about 95% off all human avoidance meters the world over. She needs fixing a whole lot more than anybody she seks to "fix".

 

Truly, a. I hope you get to move and b. Avoid her like the plague and if she comes around and wants to know why you are avoiding her, tell her flat out: "Your comments about my Christian walk are judgmental and offensive. I am not your project and do not require your assistance at this time."

 

Oh yeah baby, I've said it and directly to the senior pastor's wife (not our current pastor but three pastors ago!). I thought a bunch of people would get snarky about my less than gracious attitude concerning her meddling but guess what, I had a cheerleading squad amongst the ladies. She did make an attempt to not be such a judgmental, nosy Nellie after that.

 

Faith