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How many men struggle with pornography?


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I've wondered how widespread it really is as well. I only know one woman in real life who's dealing with this, and her experience was that there was no filter that would really work. Her husband would find a way, and she eventually had to leave him.

 

I have a hard time believing that 90% figure, though, since none of my good friends have ever dealt with this.

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wow sooo weird you posted this, as I was totally upset about this very thing with my DH the last few days but didnt know if I could/should post about it. I HATE it and I wish it was illegal. It causes more problems than ppl realize. He thinks its fine and normal, but growing up he was exposed to it by his father. His father is divorced and literally spends all his time and money at the strip clubs. I am fighting tooth and nail and praying like crazy that he will have a change of mind about it. It disgusts me and knocks my already low self esteem to a new low.

 

ETA I fully believe the 90% and I think it is higher. I know many many married men who swtill look at it and think nothing is wrong with it

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wow sooo weird you posted this, as I was totally upset about this very thing with my DH the last few days but didnt know if I could/should post about it. I HATE it and I wish it was illegal. It causes more problems than ppl realize. He thinks its fine and normal, but growing up he was exposed to it by his father. His father is divorced and literally spends all his time and money at the strip clubs. I am fighting tooth and nail and praying like crazy that he will have a change of mind about it. It disgusts me and knocks my already low self esteem to a new low.

 

ETA I fully believe the 90% and I think it is higher. I know many many married men who swtill look at it and think nothing is wrong with it

Is your husband a Christian?

 

Dh did not think there was anything wrong with it until we had a very long talk. We discussed how it had perverted certain aspects of his personal life (how's that for a fun way to say a whole lot while saying nothing at all :lol:), how it was unnatural. My dh is agnostic, appealing to his morals is a no go, but he love ME and appealing to his love for me helped him to change. Now, neither of us look at porn, because we agree it's disrespectful to each other.

 

:grouphug:

 

In today's culture sex has been elevated to the level of food and shelter. It makes struggles like this so hard to fight, because it's become so acceptable in today's society. I wish I had some magical word that could change it. There's a whole book of 'words' that can help a great deal though and if your dh IS a Christian, that's the first place I would turn... or the second... prayer first, then the Word.

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I had just posted another thread looking for filters. I think it is a very high percentage. But maybe not talked about very often. How would I know if my friends dh's struggle with it? I certainly don't tell them about my dh's struggles.

 

A filter will not stop someone who is determined to circumvent it, but it will help to keep someone from innocently stumbling across things. My dh told me once that the first time he was exposed to porn was when he was 4yo (!) and his mom took him along to visit another family from church. I have thought about that often an I'm very concerned about keeping my boys from coming across such things while they are living under my roof.

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I remember someone says 90% men struggle with porn@@@

 

Well, I don't know how many men look at it, but I'm willing to bet the farm (if I actually had a farm) that 90% of them aren't "struggling" with it. Some men may believe it's wrong, but I'm sure that a large percentage don't see any problem with it. I would think that a relatively small percentage of men are actually what would be considered "addicted" to it, rather than just looking at it for entertainment purposes.

 

Cat

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I believe the 90% of men statistic. Think about it; it's not really something that wives would go around discussing, possibly even with their closest, most trusted friends.

 

I mean, the statistic is that 40% of American women have had an abortion. Well, think about all your girlfirends; statistically speaking, 4 out of 10 of them have had an abortion. But do you actually *know* any close friends that have? It's not really something that's easy to discuss, even in today's society.

 

So it is with porn. It's something that (almost) everyone is doing, but no one wants to talk about it. Very discouraging, I'd bet, for a wife struggling with the issue with her husband.

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Well, I don't know how many men look at it, but I'm willing to bet the farm (if I actually had a farm) that 90% of them aren't "struggling" with it. Some men may believe it's wrong, but I'm sure that a large percentage don't see any problem with it. I would think that a relatively small percentage of men are actually what would be considered "addicted" to it, rather than just looking at it for entertainment purposes.

 

Cat

 

This is what I was trying to think of a way to say. I guess it all depends on what you mean by "struggle." If you mean they enjoy looking at it and seek it out occasionally or don't slam the laptop closed if they accidentally come across it, then yeah, maybe 90%. If you mean they enjoy looking at it and feel their lives aren't complete unless they have access to it, I'd think the percentage is probably a lot smaller.

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90% is probably the number of men who view porn but I would bet most of them would say they don't have a problem. My dh used to work in construction. On job sites he was probably the only one that didn't view porn and didn't visit strip clubs. It was common talk. One job was on a college campus right next to the girls' dorm. Some girls would strip in front of the windows--on purpose. So what did the guys do? Bring binoculars. :glare: It just made me sick that they would even think that was okay. Dh was the only one that didn't look and he gave the guys that did look plenty of grief. I do believe him when he said that because it just isn't part of him. He's had plenty of opportunities to "look" and he has always chosen not to do it. I think it would be extremely difficult to deal with it as a wife if dh did view porn regularly. We have a friend who is a former pastor. He lost his position in the church and nearly lost his wife over his problem with porn. I know of at least one other who struggles with it. Like a PP said, it's probably not an issue that is discussed even among friends.

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this from a Christian male friend of mine who said this during a married couples small group Bible study. He had been honest about his struggle in this area and admitted it to friends/peers at his church and was promptly asked to step down from service role in the church. They basically through him under the bus.

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this from a Christian male friend of mine who said this during a married couples small group Bible study. He had been honest about his struggle in this area and admitted it to friends/peers at his church and was promptly asked to step down from service role in the church. They basically through him under the bus.

 

Wow, that's very sad :(

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There are reasons that friends don't have this problem. 1) They don't talk about it. It's hard for a wife to tell anyone without feeling like she is slandering her husband, who is continually in the process of "stopping". 2) They don't know about. Usually wives know because they found it, not because they were told first.

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I think 90% is too high. I know gritty details about plenty of marriages, and do not personally know of any marriages struggling with this issue. (I think I would likely know in many cases.)

 

I think 90% of men, or more, look at it at some time in their life, maybe even for a certain stage of life (teens? twenties?), but I believe that many/most men move beyond that by marriage age. It is trashy & crass, and is looked at as something they did when they were immature & didn't have a satisfying personal life. . . and now they don't need it. . .

 

Furthermore, I believe that many/most men who would/do enjoy it are reasonably willing to (and capable of) drop it if/when it causes discord in their marriage. Sort of like alcohol vs alcoholism or pot use vs drug addiction. . . they might 'use it' at times, but are not compelled to do so & can fairly easily choose to NOT use it if there is some motivator (disapproving spouse, etc.).

 

Personally, I think that if a man chooses it even though it pains a spouse, well, that is a problem. Possibly an addiction, but at least a marital problem.

 

That said, I think it might be wise for the wife to seriously consider how important this issue is for her. There are plenty of women who live with it just fine. They don't see it as an indictment of their own value. Some even like it! (yuck!) Can she choose to avoid dwelling on it, avoid 'blowing it out of proportion'? (Avoid reading books about how evil it is? Maybe choose to read books about how it is harmless?) Can she work around it? Ignore it? Does it have to impact their marriage? Can it be compartementalized? Was it there before she married him and she chose to accept it then, but is changing the rules now? Is that fair? Is it truly worth ending the marriage? What is the real issue? Is it about control? Is it about her own confidence? Are there things that *she* can control that might impact these areas?

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Well, I don't know how many men look at it, but I'm willing to bet the farm (if I actually had a farm) that 90% of them aren't "struggling" with it. Some men may believe it's wrong, but I'm sure that a large percentage don't see any problem with it. I would think that a relatively small percentage of men are actually what would be considered "addicted" to it, rather than just looking at it for entertainment purposes.

 

Cat

 

:iagree:

 

I personally don't mind people looking at porn on occasion, so I don't view it "as a problem." It's visual stimulation. No big deal.

Edited by 5Wizards
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While I admit that this is a problem for many men, I have a hard time believing that men "have to" have this problem and that if they say that they don't, they are lying. Viewing pornography is a sin, in my opinion (and the Bible's). Yes, it can be a temptation but not every man or woman struggles with the same temptations. It's like saying that 90% of women struggle with gossiping.

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One job was on a college campus right next to the girls' dorm. Some girls would strip in front of the windows--on purpose. So what did the guys do? Bring binoculars. :glare: It just made me sick that they would even think that was okay.

 

In this case, I am far more appalled that the women would do something like that, than I am that the men would look. These guys weren't peeping at an un-knowing woman who forgot to close the blinds; they were getting a free show from trashy women who were doing it on purpose.

 

Cat

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This is one of the underlying themes of the movie Fireproof. It was interesting to see how the wife knew her husband was viewing porn on their computer while she was at work, but instead of confronting him, she withdrew from him. It was obvious that he felt some shame attached to it, but she finally confronted him and he really didn't understand the big deal about it. He did finally learn his lesson, though. ;)

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Porn used to be a huge problem in our marriage. He wasn't addicted or anything like that. I'm trying to word this without giving away too much info in public. He couldn't see how it gave me huge self-esteem problems. I'd rather not give details here but if anybody wants to know, feel free to pm me.

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wow sooo weird you posted this, as I was totally upset about this very thing with my DH the last few days but didnt know if I could/should post about it. I HATE it and I wish it was illegal. It causes more problems than ppl realize. He thinks its fine and normal, but growing up he was exposed to it by his father. His father is divorced and literally spends all his time and money at the strip clubs. I am fighting tooth and nail and praying like crazy that he will have a change of mind about it. It disgusts me and knocks my already low self esteem to a new low.

 

ETA I fully believe the 90% and I think it is higher. I know many many married men who swtill look at it and think nothing is wrong with it

 

:grouphug: Got to http://www.newlife.com and check out their website. The people who moderate the radio show are Christian psychologists and have written quite extensively about this very problem.

Just wanted to say you are NOT the problem here. Your dh could be married to Miss America and it would still be an issue for him because it is like an addiction.

The website above has both resources for men and women who deal with this very difficult issue.

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While I admit that this is a problem for many men, I have a hard time believing that men "have to" have this problem and that if they say that they don't, they are lying. Viewing pornography is a sin, in my opinion (and the Bible's). Yes, it can be a temptation but not every man or woman struggles with the same temptations. It's like saying that 90% of women struggle with gossiping.

:iagree:

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While I admit that this is a problem for many men, I have a hard time believing that men "have to" have this problem and that if they say that they don't, they are lying. Viewing pornography is a sin, in my opinion (and the Bible's). Yes, it can be a temptation but not every man or woman struggles with the same temptations. It's like saying that 90% of women struggle with gossiping.

 

:iagree: ...with all of your post.

 

When we first bought a computer and then signed up for AOL (1998?), I found some pics that my husband had looked at and asked him about it. He was very embarrassed and apologetic, and he didn't view it as being an okay thing. Over the years, we've discussed it and recognized that it's a big temptation for men, and we've set up safeguards to help with it. Most of us use computers incessantly, so getting rid of the internet isn't really much of an option. These are our house rules:

 

1. We know one another's passwords, I have free access to his laptop and vice versa.

 

2. All computers are used where other people can see the screen. No private, closed rooms and no secluded corners.

 

I think I would know if this were still an ongoing problem, because I believe it would affect our relationship. Also, I've checked his history and temp files enough without his knowledge that he has earned my trust. It's literally been years since there was anything even remotely questionable.

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I don't doubt that 90% of men have enjoyed viewing pornography, but I don't believe that 90% of men 'struggle' with the issue. I think the percentage that truly struggle with pornography (as in, they have an addiction) has got to be much, much lower.

:iagree: I too cannot believe every 9 out of 10 men I know have a problem, struggle with or are addicted to pornography. Or for that matter 9 out of every 10 men in the general population.

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Is your husband a Christian?

 

Dh did not think there was anything wrong with it until we had a very long talk. We discussed how it had perverted certain aspects of his personal life (how's that for a fun way to say a whole lot while saying nothing at all :lol:), how it was unnatural. My dh is agnostic, appealing to his morals is a no go, but he love ME and appealing to his love for me helped him to change. Now, neither of us look at porn, because we agree it's disrespectful to each other.

 

:grouphug:

 

In today's culture sex has been elevated to the level of food and shelter. It makes struggles like this so hard to fight, because it's become so acceptable in today's society. I wish I had some magical word that could change it. There's a whole book of 'words' that can help a great deal though and if your dh IS a Christian, that's the first place I would turn... or the second... prayer first, then the Word.

 

He is a Christian, but I dont think he has a personal relationship with God. He goes to church and prays, but he doesnt totally "live" it.

 

He is not addicted to the point of sneaking around. He just looks and leaves the sites in plain site. Because he feels nothing is wrong with it, he doesnt feel the need to hide it. I cant change the fact that he thinks it is fine to do. I have told him repeatedly that it kills my self esteem but he doesnt get it. :sad:

 

I can tell he feels a little bad cause he cuts down on it, and in fact I told him I do not want it on my new netbook and he agreed not to. He did look at it once and I called him out on it and he said he forgot he made that deal with me :glare: So it is a problem in the fact that he wont quit for me.

 

Many women I know have told me about their issues with it.

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My dh does not have any problem with porn. I don't really think he is so different. In fact, it always bugs him when some pastor implies that all men have this problem or are ready and willing to commit adultery. No, I am not naive. No, he is not asexual. But he has different interests he would rather spend his money on and those do not include pornography.

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While I admit that this is a problem for many men, I have a hard time believing that men "have to" have this problem and that if they say that they don't, they are lying. Viewing pornography is a sin, in my opinion (and the Bible's). Yes, it can be a temptation but not every man or woman struggles with the same temptations. It's like saying that 90% of women struggle with gossiping.

 

:iagree:

 

Based on the way I understand Bible teaching, then it is a sin. Adultery is considered a sin, and Jesus said that a man looking at a woman lustfully was as if he had already committed adultery with her. I'm not at all judging anyone who thinks differently, it's my opinion for me.

 

OK... I'm speaking personally here. DH has struggled with this for many years - more than half his life. He has been remarkably open with me about it, and he views it as a sin that he must try to overcome. We have prayed together, we have made major life choices (jobs, house-moves) in order to try and help him to overcome it.

 

Maybe I'm sensitive, but when DH goes elsewhere for s@xual satisfaction, that hurts me. Intellectually I know that it's not because I'm not good enough, but the emotional fear is there just the same. For me, s@x is part of what binds us together, so if DH is sharing that with others - whether they be nameless women on the internet or someone IRL - then it's not specially ours any more.

 

But to put this into context, my belief is that the sin of adultery is no worse than any other sin. Sin is sin. It is a falling short of the glory of God. Adultery, as sin, falls short of His glory, as does anger, covetousness, gossip, etc. DH is no worse than I am in God's sight; I sin too, and need forgiveness just the same. It took me a long time to learn this, but I feel it is so important.

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He is a Christian, but I dont think he has a personal relationship with God. He goes to church and prays, but he doesnt totally "live" it.

 

He is not addicted to the point of sneaking around. He just looks and leaves the sites in plain site. Because he feels nothing is wrong with it, he doesnt feel the need to hide it. I cant change the fact that he thinks it is fine to do. I have told him repeatedly that it kills my self esteem but he doesnt get it. :sad:

 

I can tell he feels a little bad cause he cuts down on it, and in fact I told him I do not want it on my new netbook and he agreed not to. He did look at it once and I called him out on it and he said he forgot he made that deal with me :glare: So it is a problem in the fact that he wont quit for me.

 

Many women I know have told me about their issues with it.

 

:grouphug: This is what I would call struggling with it, because he wants it so badly that he's not willing to do what it takes to keep from hurting you. I'm not anti-porn for the most part, but I'm anti-porn in my house and marriage. It would be a very big problem for me and it would cause an earthquake in my marriage, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with it :( :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Edited by melissel
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My dh does not have any problem with porn. I don't really think he is so different. In fact, it always bugs him when some pastor implies that all men have this problem or are ready and willing to commit adultery. No, I am not naive. No, he is not asexual. But he has different interests he would rather spend his money on and those do not include pornography.

 

:iagree:My entire family has struggled with insomnia and maybe times I've found my dh asleep in front of the computer at 2 a.m.. It's always a tech website or reading about the latest phones, dh isn't even wired that way.

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Way too many, even in circles where you wouldn't be suspecting it; however, I seriously doubt the number is close to 90% - as others have discussed before, it may mean that that number has or has had something to do with it in some form, sometime, in their lives, but not that they're addicted or actively struggle with it.

 

Like Jean, I also don't think men "have" to have this problem. At the end of the day, even if one has "inclinations", it's about self-discipline and self-control, just like any other thing in life many people struggle with (from overeating to alcoholism) - you actively avoid that which you know is your problem and set additional stringencies in order to prevent yourself from even coming into a situation that it may manifest itself (you use computers in the middle of the living where everyone could see it, etc.).

 

As far as whether it's an "okay" thing or no, it's largely (sub)cultural. If both partners agree that it doesn't affect their relationship and that it's okay, no problem. We don't think so - in fact, we view it as a borderline form of adultery, and have discussed the topic extensively before and after marriage, agreeing not only not to view porn, but also not to have close friendships with members of the opposite sex, not to attend places with too much physical male/female mingling, etc. - but to each his/her own.

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:iagree:My entire family has struggled with insomnia and maybe times I've found my dh asleep in front of the computer at 2 a.m.. It's always a tech website or reading about the latest phones, dh isn't even wired that way.

 

 

I once looked at our internet history and I had a billion homeschooling, couponing, getting out of debt, and kid sites.....while his was all porn. Right there is when it really came to light. I spend all my time and energy on this family and these kids and he spends his time on that carp. And I told him that he is no Patrick Dempsey but I have no desire to look at any other person on earth with no clothes on, and if I wanted to I wouldnt have time :glare:

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I think that 90% is an exaggerated, inflammatory statistic.

 

Please note, I am not defending the porn industry. I *object* strongly to the porn industry for spiritual and feminist reasons.

 

However, I don't see "viewing porn" and "struggling" as the same issue. I don't believe that every man who views porn, even regularly is addicted or struggling.

 

However, porn addiction is real, it's destructive and it's a marriage killer.

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I do not think 90% of men are battling porn. I do think 90% of men have viewed porn some time or other, maybe 99%, it's too ubiquitous in today's society.

 

My dh is one that doesn't look at it, own it, seek to view it but he did when he was a youngun'. He's extremely not sneaky so if he did view it, I would know. I do keep an eye on computer history because we have a lot of children with easy computer access.

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I do not think 90% of men are battling porn. I do think 90% of men have viewed porn some time or other, maybe 99%, it's too ubiquitous in today's society.

 

My dh is one that doesn't look at it, own it, seek to view it but he did when he was a youngun'.

 

:iagree: Maybe it's an age thing and most men outgrow it? DH was 48 when we got married. Someone had given him a subscription to a magazine and they were all still in the plastic wrappers. And this was after he had spent many years single.

 

I wouldn't have a problem with him looking at it occasionally. If it became a regular/daily thing or something he felt the need to throw in my face, we'd have a problem.

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While I admit that this is a problem for many men, I have a hard time believing that men "have to" have this problem and that if they say that they don't, they are lying. Viewing pornography is a sin, in my opinion (and the Bible's). Yes, it can be a temptation but not every man or woman struggles with the same temptations. It's like saying that 90% of women struggle with gossiping.
... and 10% lie about it. How offensive is that?!?

 

I think sometimes we seek to make our sin acceptable by saying that everyone is doing it... sort of justification through percieved peer pressure (or some such nonsense). It really bothers me that Christians assume these things about each other.

 

He is a Christian, but I dont think he has a personal relationship with God. He goes to church and prays, but he doesnt totally "live" it.

 

He is not addicted to the point of sneaking around. He just looks and leaves the sites in plain site. Because he feels nothing is wrong with it, he doesnt feel the need to hide it. I cant change the fact that he thinks it is fine to do. I have told him repeatedly that it kills my self esteem but he doesnt get it. :sad:

 

I can tell he feels a little bad cause he cuts down on it, and in fact I told him I do not want it on my new netbook and he agreed not to. He did look at it once and I called him out on it and he said he forgot he made that deal with me :glare: So it is a problem in the fact that he wont quit for me.

 

Many women I know have told me about their issues with it.

It's adultery. He is "looking to lust" and that's wrong. This is an issue in your marraige and he's ignoring, so whether or not he's addicted he DOES have a problem.

 

Does he read the Bible? I have found that it's so much easier for me to do the wrong thing when I stop reading the Word. The more space between me and God's Word, the further I move from where I should be. Maybe just reading the chapters that talk about marraige together would be a good place to start.

 

:grouphug:

 

That just stinks :(

My dh does not have any problem with porn. I don't really think he is so different. In fact, it always bugs him when some pastor implies that all men have this problem or are ready and willing to commit adultery. No, I am not naive. No, he is not asexual. But he has different interests he would rather spend his money on and those do not include pornography.

See, this makes me so ANGRY :banghead:

 

Do these people realize that they are saying, "If you aren't worldly there is something wrong with you." :001_huh: What? AUGH!!!!!!!!

I once looked at our internet history and I had a billion homeschooling, couponing, getting out of debt, and kid sites.....while his was all porn. Right there is when it really came to light. I spend all my time and energy on this family and these kids and he spends his time on that carp. And I told him that he is no Patrick Dempsey but I have no desire to look at any other person on earth with no clothes on, and if I wanted to I wouldnt have time :glare:

It's so tempting to swing the pendulum and start saying... I wish you looked more like (big name celebrity)... or go mean and vicious and call out (big name celebrity)'s name at an intimate moment, just to make it clear how this is betrayal. Those are not the RIGHT responses, but gosh they're tempting.

 

I'll go back to reading the manual together and moving from there to prayer.

 

Someone else mentioned "Fire Proof." I have not seen that, but I have heard great things about it, you might want to look into that too.

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I wouldn't say any and all viewing of it is wrong. What a couple does with respect to each other together is up to them. However, I will say that the heavy abuse of p0rn was a big element to my divorce many years ago. His situation was true abuse not a dabble. Any amount was never enough. It had to continue to get bigger and worse and worse to achieve the same thing. It was very much like a drug addiction or alcohol. He'd hide it until he just couldn't and then we'd go through the whole repentance and "I'll never do it again". Worse part was that a big amount of that time he was a youth pastor. It was as bad as you can imagine. It didn't get better when he later became a head pastor. :(

 

As others have said you can't call everyone who views it is "struggling" with it. Most people/men might look at it and never care if they see it again. True struggle and addiction is a different thing all together.

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I wouldn't say any and all viewing of it is wrong. What a couple does with respect to each other together is up to them. However, I will say that the heavy abuse of p0rn was a big element to my divorce many years ago. His situation was true abuse not a dabble. Any amount was never enough. It had to continue to get bigger and worse and worse to achieve the same thing. It was very much like a drug addiction or alcohol. He'd hide it until he just couldn't and then we'd go through the whole repentance and "I'll never do it again". Worse part was that a big amount of that time he was a youth pastor. It was as bad as you can imagine. It didn't get better when he later became a head pastor. :(

 

As others have said you can't call everyone who views it is "struggling" with it. Most people/men might look at it and never care if they see it again. True struggle and addiction is a different thing all together.

 

:iagree: absolutely with this. I wanted to write something like this, but couldn't word it right. Some dabble and could leave it any time, but others are addicted. I don't like that it's done at any time, but the element of addiction is a major problem IMO.

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I do not think 90% of men are battling porn. I do think 90% of men have viewed porn some time or other, maybe 99%, it's too ubiquitous in today's society.

 

 

I know a lot of good, loving men who viewed porn (magazines) in their teens. It was a phase that they have put behind them.

 

Laura

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I do not think 90% of men are battling porn. I do think 90% of men have viewed porn some time or other, maybe 99%, it's too ubiquitous in today's society.

But it's not always the case that someone seeks it out. I remember boys in high school passing around a magazine and I saw it briefly, and coming across the stash of the owner of a furnished house we were renting. I've also opened web pages, including a religious homeschooling website's blog, and inadvertently seen pornographic images. A 12 year old boy I was tutoring had some pop up at the library (he was innocent in it, of that I was positive, as I saw what happened!). I've had to deal with other people viewing it in a public place like the library. Some people send out explicit emails. And so on. This is not quite the same as choosing to participate.

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I do not think 90% of men are battling porn. I do think 90% of men have viewed porn some time or other, maybe 99%, it's too ubiquitous in today's society.

 

My dh is one that doesn't look at it, own it, seek to view it but he did when he was a youngun'. He's extremely not sneaky so if he did view it, I would know. I do keep an eye on computer history because we have a lot of children with easy computer access.

 

:iagree: I am the "computer person" in my house, so I know what people are looking at. The only porn dh has looked at since we have been married (that I know of) is what a friend used to email him. I put the kibash on that because it is a family computer in a public area of the house and I didn't want that in my home. His friend agreed to abide by my wishes and no more comes into the house. I check history on the computers in this house and I caught one of my boys checking things out. We had a discussion and it stopped. It was curiosity, not an addiction. Since they are too lazy to delete history (if they were deleting history, they would be deleting the other places they go to where I would rather they not waste time), I do know that there haven't been more incidents.

 

None of my IRL friends have expressed concern over a problem with it in their households (and we have talked about internet safety and our feelings about the porn industry). So, maybe I just hang out with an abnormal subset of society - but, I doubt it.

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Anyway, I think there is a huge difference between saying that someone has seen some pornography at some time (be it magazines, online images, whatever) and saying someone is struggling with a problem with it. First of all, I think most people will ,at some point, come across it in their lives. Second of all, I think many, many teenage boys view these images but for many of them , they outgrow it. Do all men? No, obviously not. But we all do not have the same temptations or the same sin problems.

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In this case, I am far more appalled that the women would do something like that, than I am that the men would look. These guys weren't peeping at an un-knowing woman who forgot to close the blinds; they were getting a free show from trashy women who were doing it on purpose.

 

Cat

 

I agree. The women were just as much to blame.

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Define pornography. Dh has seen movies, Victoria secret catalogs and other visual images that I would call pornographic. It doesn't titillate him. For some men it does attract them and call for more graphic viewing and sexual response. I've read romance novels and other books that are soft porn. They do tempt me in some ways. I choose not to read them and will immediately close a book that I realize has that content or will turn off the t.v. etc. if there is that kind of content. I do not choose to respond to visual or mental stimulation. Temptation itself is not sin. Choosing to indulge in it or respond to it, is.

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