Advice for Raising Tri-lingual Children

[eloquacious]

I need advice, yet again, and was hoping to consult the collective wisdom of the WTM parents.

 

Our situation is this: I am a native speaker of German (born and bred), my husband is a native speaker of Russian (ditto). We both came to the U.S. as children but managed to maintain our native tongues, unlike our younger siblings. I don't speak much Russian - a few words at best. I learn languages easily, generally speaking, (I have a history of studying Latin, Spanish, French, and even Irish Gaelic) but I am very visually oriented and the Cyrillic alphabet kills me. Our library system used to offer Rosetta Stone language courses for free online, but shortly after our honeymoon that ended, and the replacement courses offered no Russian.

 

My husband is much better at German than I am at Russian, but even that is limited to a few touristy phrases and what he can cull from guess work. (That seems easier for an English speaker to German than it does for me to Russian.)

 

We have two little boys thus far, and hope to have more children down the road. Our older son is just under 3, the younger nearly 7 months. Because neither of us speaks our spouse's language, we speak English in the home to one another and our children.

 

My brother, who had very delayed speech due (we think) to being raised bilingual, gave me great pause when it came to speaking German to my children. I thought I might wait until they were 3 or 4, (or possibly even 8 or 9) then slowly introduce the language to them after they had been "established" in English. Now I am beginning to reconsider, in part because I don't really know how to introduce the language.

 

My sons have myself and my mother and grandparents (via Skype) to speak German to them, and my husband and his mother and sister (all local) to speak Russian with them. In fact, my mother-in-law is motivated to teach her grandchildren Russian (there are four grandchildren total, all living within a mile of her).

 

All of this is to say that we have a HUGE wealth of resources to teach these poor kids, but I don't know where to begin or how to make it all happen. I've been tempted to use Rosetta Stone and/or Live Mocha to start the process, and I want to ask my grandparents to send the boys a bunch of German children's books. (So far we don't have many.) Besides that, how do I introduce language in a daily context to pre-literate children? Eventually I know we'll have to teach them to read in German and possibly Russian, too, but that's still down the road.

 

We have Russian movies, but those are all for adults, and I can find a few German children's tv shows on YouTube, but I'd prefer not to let the computer run like a tv. (My son has problems with eye crossing when he watches "tv".)

 

Any other advice? How do I introduce the language? I always thought it'd be super easy if my husband and I were both Russian or both German.... but the other factor is killing us.

 

My goal for the boys is to make them insatiable polyglots. They'll hopefully have English, German, Russian, some conversational Finnish and Swedish (we have a summer home in Finland) and Latin and Spanish through school. A tall order, indeed. I suppose we had better start soon. Sheesh!

 

Okay, I'm so sorry for all this rambling. If anyone has experience for early "foreign" language instruction, I'd appreciate it!

 

JoAnne

[eloquacious]

One more thing: I intend to use Rosetta Stone and Live Mocha, as well as whatever other resources I can scrounge up, to teach myself Russian. I will be able to take advantage of my own personal tutor and his vast collection of Russian movies and audio books. ;) I can't guarantee the same for him - his time is much more limited than mine.

[Matryoshka]

I'd speak German to them, all the time, starting right now. If you can get your dh to speak Russian to them, even better! English around the dinner table? :tongue_smilie: It's so much easier to just absorb a language (like all small children can) than have to learn it later. At this age they will absorb the accent, grammar, everything - later you'd have to work on reading, writing and the finer points of grammar like you would in any native tongue.

 

You should cross-post this to the bilingual board - you'll get more responses from people who have BTDT. :)

[Pata]

I agree, use German everyday and try to get dh to use Russian around the kids as well. Teach them by asking them to pick up their rooms and naming the toys/clothes as you clean and so on. It's best to teach them informally at this age and pick up the grammar/reading aspect of it later on. Hope that helps!

[ALB]

I don't have personal experience with this, but we live in an Asian country and many of my good friends are dealing with this now (parents are German or Dutch speakers, work is mostly in English and local culture speaks Mandarin). In every case that I know of, the kids do have delayed speech in the beginning, but eventually are able to speak each language with the correct people. There is lots of research on raising bilingual children, but much less on raising tri-lingual. It can definitely be done, if you speak it consistently. One of my ds's good little friends speaks Dutch with his mom, English with his Australian dad and Mandarin with most of his friends and his baby-sitter. He is only 3, and his progression in each language is very slow (with speaking, but comprehension is great). My own ds is much further ahead in vocabulary and sentences, BUT speaks almost no Mandarin since he's with me all day.

One thing to consider, is that your dc's English skills are the most important for them to succeed academically (if they are in the US), so don't neglect that! I know some kids overseas who spoke many languages well, but seriously struggled writing papers and taking tests in English, and that can be a problem. It is a tremendous gifts to your dc to give them exposure to different languages, and will certainly open doors for them in the future! You can offer something so unique and special to your dc, and I would try to make sure they can take advantage of their German and Russian backgrounds!

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I've had a few friends who raised multi lingual children by speaking to them in a language each. Each parent spoke one language to them and they may have had another relative or caregiver who spoke a 3rd language to them.

 

The parents spoke to each other in whatever was their most comfortable language together. Sometimes the school attended was another language or sometimes in a language supported by one of the parents.

 

It can be done but requires persistence and patience. It was accomplished by total immersion-meaning that language x was all that the parent spoke to the child in--ever. They read stories, told jokes and played in that language.

[regentrude]

We are raising our kids only bilingually (German/English with two German speaking parents), but our friends raised their children trilingually: German (mom), Italian(dad) and English(environment). They consequently used the one parent-one language method.

In order to compensate for mom spending more time with the children than dad, he would take them on weekend outings and they'd speak Italian. They also benefited a lot from trips to Germany and Italy to visit extended family.

 

My best advice would be for you to each speak your native language to the children, exclusively.

We are also using many audiobooks in German. These would eliminate the visual problems your son has.

 

edit: I think waiting is a mistake. Children are very easily able to acquire multiple languages simultaneously; there is no need to wait till one language is "established".

[Rosie_0801]

I think you need to accept language delay as part of the parcel; an annoyance that is worth putting up with :)

 

Rosie

[cathmom]

Get the book The Bilingual Edge - it will help you plan things out.

[jasar31629]

I don't know, but I'd love to come to your house someday! Sounds like a very culturally rich environment for your family! Dh and I struggle to remember what little Spanish we learned in high school...we want to get the Rosetta Stone soon for ourselves and our daughter. She can practice with her aunt and uncle when we visit as he is from El Salvador. In their home, their daughter is bilingual and they started right away. She's had no delays- in the beginning of their marriage he spoke mostly spanish and my sister spoke mostly english. The nanny spoke spanish too. Now they all are fluent in both.

 

I hope you get some advice here for you- try not to fret too much! It sounds like you have a lot of tools at your disposal!

[skueppers]

edit: I think waiting is a mistake. Children are very easily able to acquire multiple languages simultaneously; there is no need to wait till one language is "established".

 

I agree. My brother and I both grew up bilingual from the start, and I am doing the same with my children. They have no language delays, and even if they were a few months behind their peers, I would not consider it a problem.

 

Since our environment is English an my husband speaks only a little German, we spend a lot of time and energy on German here. I agree that it would be easy to start speaking German with them, singing German songs, etc.

[Tiramisu]

We are raising our kids only bilingually (German/English with two German speaking parents), but our friends raised their children trilingually: German (mom), Italian(dad) and English(environment). They consequently used the one parent-one language method.

In order to compensate for mom spending more time with the children than dad, he would take them on weekend outings and they'd speak Italian. They also benefited a lot from trips to Germany and Italy to visit extended family.

 

My best advice would be for you to each speak your native language to the children, exclusively.

We are also using many audiobooks in German. These would eliminate the visual problems your son has.

 

edit: I think waiting is a mistake. Children are very easily able to acquire multiple languages simultaneously; there is no need to wait till one language is "established".

 

:iagree:Yes, each parent should speak their own language exclusively.

 

Dh is also German, born and bred, but has never managed to keep speaking German with them. We've tried putting signs on the walls, and he still falls back into English. Our dc lost their chance to be German native speakers. Living overseas, I've seen many examples of children who learn a parents language and speak it like a native by just having one parent consistently speak it. I wouldn't worry about language delay.

[Susan in KY]

My best advice would be for you to each speak your native language to the children, exclusively.

We are also using many audiobooks in German. These would eliminate the visual problems your son has.

 

edit: I think waiting is a mistake. Children are very easily able to acquire multiple languages simultaneously; there is no need to wait till one language is "established".

 

:iagree::iagree: This, totally. Each parent speaks his/her native language to the children exclusively. It will work. There may be speech delay, but their brains will work it all out and everything will be fine in the end.

[stripe]

I also recommend this website:

 

www.multilingualliving.com

 

They used to have a downloadable magazine; they seem to have switched to a blog format. You can check out the old magazines, and keep up with newer discussions. A number of those who contribute are trilingual or raising trilingual children, and some of them homeschool.

 

If you have access to any other people who speak your language (esp if they ONLY speak one of them), that is a huge help. Particularly if they are kids!

[AHASRADA]

:iagree::iagree: This, totally. Each parent speaks his/her native language to the children exclusively.

 

:iagree: Another plug for just speaking your language with your kids, period. If you were worried about how to teach them a language that is not native to you nor your dh, that's another issue. However, there is nothing easier than just speaking your native tongue with your own children.

 

My dh has spoken only Arabic to our dc since birth, and I English. When they were small, they did tend to use vocab. interchangeably between the two languages, whichever word was easier to say. However, they had no speech delays whatsoever, and by the time they were 2 1/2 or so, the languages were completely separate in their minds, as "Mom language" and "Dad language".

 

Since you are living in an English-speaking country, there isn't even any need to use English at home; they will pick it up from TV and outside activities. However, you will obviously be using it to communicate with each other (you and dh), so the kids should have no problem learning all 3. As long as the languages are clearly separate : German = Mom and her family, Russian = Dad and his family, English = Mom & Dad to each other and the outside community, they should have no problem. This does not mean they will be fluent in all 3; likely English will win out since they will hear it more around them as they grow up. Their fluency in the other languages will depend on how often they find themselves in a circumstance where they are forced to speak it (whether family rules prohibiting the use of English, or speaking to those who do not understand English). Immersion opportunities are also very useful, once they have a working knowledge/understanding of the language, but are reluctant to speak. Visiting family overseas for several weeks is ideal.

 

Best of luck!