Can HSed kids know "too much" for their own good?

[Sahamamama]

This was a new one for me. :001_huh: Apparently, my daughter (nearly 6 years old) said something that the people listening -- 9, 13, and 15 -- did not know or understand, so she explained it to them. Apparently, these people then related this incident to their parents (which includes my sister), who then told my parents (which includes my mom). ;)

 

Something must have jogged mom's memory today, because from out of the blue we heard authoritatively that "it is, in fact, possible for a young child to know too much..." I don't even know what could have made such an impression.

 

Have you ever had those times when your kid just knew too much?

[AndyJoy]

Yes, a young child can know too much...

 

....about BAD stuff. There are lots of things I learned as a young child in public school that I wish I hadn't.

 

General useful knowledge? Nope.

[pqr]

No.

[Halcyon]

My father seems to think so. When my son was telling him what we're covering in World History, my dad turned to me and said "Do you really think he's going to remember any of that stuff when he's older?"

 

:confused:

[Jen in PA]

Would they complain about a doctor who knew too much, or a mechanic who knew too much? It's strange that our society values knowledge in some but feels threatened when they notice it in others.

[LittleIzumi]

No, but it is embarrassing when dd5 asks MIL if spiders make babies with a penis :o. I think we need to add the knowledge of WHEN to discuss certain topics....

[mcconnellboys]

Oh is it, LOL? Let's see some supporting evidence for that fact, then....

[ScoutTN]

We drew a niece's name in a family gift exchange. The "in" gift in DH's family are gift cards or cash, but I am considering resisting the trend. I dislike encouraging a 10 yo to spend time at the mall. ;)

 

Not sure what she's read, so we're thinking about an audiobook. A horse story perhaps.

 

Any suggestions?

[Sahamamama]

My father seems to think so. When my son was telling him what we're covering in World History, my dad turned to me and said "Do you really think he's going to remember any of that stuff when he's older?"

 

:confused:

 

Yes, from the vibes I picked up today, it was like this. Knowing my daughter, it was probably something she read in a non-fiction book, some fascinating (to her) detail about the hidden life of pill bugs or whatever... :lol:

 

For example, I can imagine that she said (quite innocently and enthusiastically), "It's hard to believe, I know, but pill bugs are actually crustaceans! Can you believe it? Yes! They are related to lobsters and crabs and shrimp... oh, and barnacles! Crustaceans have no bones, instead they have an exoskeleton.... Would you believe, there are over 3, 500 species of pill bugs? Who would ever think.... " And so on. I can imagine her going into where they live, what they eat, how (and why) they eat their own droppings, how they molt, and so on.

 

She is like that. She reads a book, and voila! -- it is memorized.

 

To her mind, she's just talking, sharing information that she assumes (I assume) her older cousins might find interesting. Her knowledge in many areas leaves them shaken. This is not the first time....

 

Should we have "the talk?"

[Garga]

My father seems to think so. When my son was telling him what we're covering in World History, my dad turned to me and said "Do you really think he's going to remember any of that stuff when he's older?"

 

:confused:

 

I have a friend who says that all the time. She's not necessarily targeting me, but just in general says, "Well, kids will never remember what they learned in history at this age anyway..."

[DarlaS]

Something must have jogged mom's memory today, because from out of the blue we heard authoritatively that "it is, in fact, possible for a young child to know too much..."

 

Okay, I would have been :lol::lol::lol:

 

And then: "Oh wait, you were serious?!"

[Garga]

This was a new one for me. :001_huh: Apparently, my daughter (nearly 6 years old) said something that the people listening -- 9, 13, and 15 -- did not know or understand, so she explained it to them. Apparently, these people then related this incident to their parents (which includes my sister), who then told my parents (which includes my mom). ;)

 

Something must have jogged mom's memory today, because from out of the blue we heard authoritatively that "it is, in fact, possible for a young child to know too much..." I don't even know what could have made such an impression.

 

Have you ever had those times when your kid just knew too much?

 

Maybe they felt that your daughter was showing off. I personally, don't think a 5 year old to showing off when they talk about something they know. They're young and innocent enough to assume everyone knows these things, or is interested.

 

Maybe your mom felt that it was inappropriate for a small child to be educating older people. However, I have NO idea how she expects you to explain that to a small child. "You aren't allowed to learn or to share your knowledge with anyone if they don't already know it."

 

Ignore your mom for now.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I was told by my dad, "You've ruined them for real school". (because they knew too much.)

 

I've also been told that my kids were intimidating because they know too much. They don't flaunt it but it just naturally comes out.

 

I ignore comments like that.

[newlifemom]

I was told by my dad, "You've ruined them for real school". (because they knew too much.)

 

I've also been told that my kids were intimidating because they know too much. They don't flaunt it but it just naturally comes out.

 

I ignore comments like that.

 

Hey there Jean, how ya feelin'? :D

 

 

 

[OP sorry for the hijack]

[FO4UR]

I've gotten some weird looks, but no outright claims that my kids know too much.

 

There was the time my 4yo shared what he knew about mitochondria with a fellow 4yo and his mother...which wasn't much but I admit I didn't know how to respond..."oh, the things kids pick up from older siblings haha..." (weird looks - change the subject - and haven't been invited for another playdate LOL)

 

Then there was the family gathering where an uncle mention something about Alpha and Omega, and all 3 of mine started singing alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon....:lol: That was met with looks of surprise and "Oh":001_huh:

 

btw - your dd and my ds7 would get along just fine. "Did you know?" is one of his most often used phrases.:tongue_smilie: They might not ever stop talking....

[LittleIzumi]

btw - your dd and my ds7 would get along just fine. "Did you know?" is one of his most often used phrases.:tongue_smilie: They might not ever stop talking....

 

Oh, is that what they move on to after "Why?" :lol:

[Paige]

In the older generation of my family, it is not polite for a child to correct an adult whether or not the child is right about the facts. So, if my mom said, "The earth is flat," and my child said, "Actually, we've known the earth is round or elliptical for centuries," then my child would have offended her for correcting her. I don't necessarily agree with it but I could understand how they may think my children "knew too much" if they went on and on correcting their elders. IMO, however, that is more of an etiquette or manners issue and has nothing to do with learning too much.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh, is that what they move on to after "Why?" :lol:

 

Be prepared for them to then move on to "Actually,. . ."

[Sugarfoot]

Be prepared for them to then move on to "Actually,. . ."

 

:iagree::lol:

[Gratia271]

I was told by my dad, "You've ruined them for real school". (because they knew too much.)

 

I've also been told that my kids were intimidating because they know too much. They don't flaunt it but it just naturally comes out.

 

I ignore comments like that.

 

Children fail to realize they are supposed to consider their audience and measure every word they utter to ensure no one is offended by their knowledge about thus and so. We must teach them to know their place around adults and anyone else who happens to be older because anything less is a complete lack of decorum on their part. :ack2:

 

Sarcasm aside, these children are simply communicating with others about their knowledge and understanding. It amazes me how arrogant people are in their assumption that kids speak about these things to impress them. Chances are they don't give a da** what those outsiders think. I know mine don't. My oldest DD has already learned to let these insecure people speak ad nauseum from a point of ignorance... she just sits there quietly and lets them make asses of themselves. After all, she is the youngest in her classes. What could she know compared to those older kids? Been there. done that. over that.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sarcasm aside, these children are simply communicating with others about their knowledge and understanding. It amazes me how arrogant people are in their assumption that kids speak about these things to impress them. Chances are they don't give a da** what those outsiders think.

 

When my ds13 was about 3 years old, we were on a walk and saw a neighbor planting some pansies under a fir tree. As we chatted, she mentioned that she'd never been able to get flowers to grow there. Ds said, "I bet it is because it is too acidic there." She looked at me in shock and said, "Did you hear what he just said?!" I replied, "Yes, I think it's too acidic also."

 

I'd much rather they focus on the content of what is said versus the age of the person saying it.

[Gratia271]

When my ds13 was about 3 years old, we were on a walk and saw a neighbor planting some pansies under a fir tree. As we chatted, she mentioned that she'd never been able to get flowers to grow there. Ds said, "I bet it is because it is too acidic there." She looked at me in shock and said, "Did you hear what he just said?!" I replied, "Yes, I think it's too acidic also."

 

I'd much rather they focus on the content of what is said versus the age of the person saying it.

 

I agree. In honesty, I think it is more about them than it is about our kids. Content is really what ought to matter.

[AuntieM]

Well, I will say that though I don't believe a young kid can learn too much, I think it's also harder for a kid that age to share so much information with grace and humility. Just sayin'....

[Sahamamama]

I was told by my dad, "You've ruined them for real school". (because they knew too much.)

 

I've also been told that my kids were intimidating because they know too much. They don't flaunt it but it just naturally comes out.

 

I ignore comments like that.

 

Thanks, Jean. Yes, I can ignore these comments, too, but I do wonder how to prepare my children to "overhear" them.

 

It's funny you mentioned the "ruined them for real school" comment, because my sister shot that one out just last week. :D And, my oldest is just now finishing up Kindergarten. ;) How's that for a laugh?

 

I suppose, being new to this and all, :blush: I wonder about the experience from the child's point of view. Laura Corin recently posted that her son, Calvin, had used the word "ominous" at school this year, and his classmates inquired about the availability of the "Calvin-to-English" dictionary! :lol: That struck me as extremely funny, and yet.... it seemed a poignant example of how being intellectual, how being gifted, can put people off.

 

And so I wonder, If I encourage my daughter's somewhat "bookish" tendencies -- as if she needs encouragement? -- will she be "too smart" in others' eyes. If so, what will this mean for her as a whole person? What do I, as her mother and teacher, need to do to prepare her for "overhearing" those random comments.

 

I did like what Laura Corin said about her son: He's never minded being different!

 

Now that is worth pursuing, I think.

[Sahamamama]

When my ds13 was about 3 years old, we were on a walk and saw a neighbor planting some pansies under a fir tree. As we chatted, she mentioned that she'd never been able to get flowers to grow there. Ds said, "I bet it is because it is too acidic there." She looked at me in shock and said, "Did you hear what he just said?!" I replied, "Yes, I think it's too acidic also."

 

I'd much rather they focus on the content of what is said versus the age of the person saying it.

 

Thank you, Jean. Now I have a way of handling it. Thank you!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've tried talking to people and asking them to tone down the comments. That hasn't worked for us at all.

 

I've tried to ignore it (like the example about the acidic soil). That has worked better.

 

I've also had to talk to my kids directly about it as they've gotten older. I've told them that their intelligence is just one part of them and it really isn't something that they have so much control over - like the size of their nose. I've also pointed out that for all the information they know, there is even more in the world that we don't know, so don't get a swelled head about it. I've had to directly talk about it because people have said stuff like "Boy, they're scary smart." right in front of them.

 

My kids know that they have books and information presented to them that other kids don't have the benefit of. They know that while they do have some innate intelligence bonuses, that many other kids would do much better if they were treated with more credit for being able to understand things.

[Sahamamama]

I've had to directly talk about it because people have said stuff like "Boy, they're scary smart," right in front of them.

 

 

And my oldest, who is not even SIX years old yet, has heard this from astonished relatives, her teachers at church, and from complete strangers at Walmart. :tongue_smilie:Yup, they say it right in front of her...

[kalanamak]

Be prepared for them to then move on to "Actually,. . ."

 

Or the "that's impossible", as in listening to a song and *ev*ery time it talks about something going faster than the speed of light, having to hear that this is false.

 

Or "that's a myth".

 

Of course, Mr. Perfection, Mr. Always Washes His Hands, Mr. Must Have The Curtains Drawn Just To Walk By In PJs was dressing after a bath in his room tonight, lights a-blazing. I tell him it is getting blizzard-like outside and WHO, just WHO has to stand on his bed, pull the blinds open and flash his entire nudity right at the UPS man! I don't know who was more shocked.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Of course, Mr. Perfection, Mr. Always Washes His Hands, Mr. Must Have The Curtains Drawn Just To Walk By In PJs was dressing after a bath in his room tonight, lights a-blazing. I tell him it is getting blizzard-like outside and WHO, just WHO has to stand on his bed, pull the blinds open and flash his entire nudity right at the UPS man! I don't know who was more shocked.

 

That's the thing. Those of us who live with them know just how dumb they can be on occasion:lol:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Be prepared for them to then move on to "Actually,. . ."

 

:lol:

I have three stuck in this stage right now.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I have a friend who says that all the time. She's not necessarily targeting me, but just in general says, "Well, kids will never remember what they learned in history at this age anyway..."

 

No, they don't remember everything. What they do remember is that the past is something that intrigues and excites them. Same with science.

 

Just because I don't remember everything that I've ever read, doesn't mean that I'm planning on stopping reading and learning until some mythical point in time when I'm going to retain it all forever.

[Sahamamama]

Or the "that's impossible", as in listening to a song and *ev*ery time it talks about something going faster than the speed of light, having to hear that this is false.

 

Or "that's a myth".

 

Of course, Mr. Perfection, Mr. Always Washes His Hands, Mr. Must Have The Curtains Drawn Just To Walk By In PJs was dressing after a bath in his room tonight, lights a-blazing. I tell him it is getting blizzard-like outside and WHO, just WHO has to stand on his bed, pull the blinds open and flash his entire nudity right at the UPS man! I don't know who was more shocked.

 

Two thoughts:

 

1. You made me spit my tea on the screen, imagining the UPS man!

 

2. My favorite line, usually from 10 year olds in public school, is "But that's a value judgment," said with a condescending sneer. :glare:

[Lizzie in Ma]

It sounds like the older people were embarrassed that a 6 yo knew more than they did on that topic. Sour grapes. As children get older we can obviously make sure that they learn how to be polite in such situations and no gloat about their knowledge, but nothing in your post indicates that your dd was impolite anyway.

 

It is possible to be patronizing or conceited about knowledge but I don't' think it is possible to have too much.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[kalphs]

It sounds like the older people were embarrassed that a 6 yo knew more than they did on that topic. Sour grapes. As children get older we can obviously make sure that they learn how to be polite in such situations and no gloat about their knowledge, but nothing in your post indicates that your dd was impolite anyway.

 

It is possible to be patronizing or conceited about knowledge but I don't' think it is possible to have too much.

:iagree:

As my grandmother use to say "You never stop learning."

[MaMa2005]

Sometimes I wonder if it is just the time and place they care to share their wealth of knowledge. My FIL had heart surgery on Wednesday to repair his mitral valve as well as some other things. It was done using some robotics. When the surgeon came in to see how Dad was doing, DS was all over him, asking him if he had remembered to do this and that, remove this and that, etc. You get the picture. DS would NOT be quiet with all his questions and he was point on with each one. The surgeon was very taken aback and finally quipped, "Guess DS could be my assistant next time." While said in good humor, it was obvious that the surgeon though DS was totally out of place knowing so MUCH about the heart, its functions and the surgery.

 

DH and I are still trying to get across to DS that sometimes it is just a good idea to not say SOOOOOO much. So far, it's not working :D .

[Night Elf]

My answer: "So I should send my kids to school so they won't be smart?" :001_huh:

[angela in ohio]

Be prepared for them to then move on to "Actually,. . ."

 

:lol: My oldest was the Actually Queen. :banghead:

[angela in ohio]

Well, I will say that though I don't believe a young kid can learn too much, I think it's also harder for a kid that age to share so much information with grace and humility. Just sayin'....

 

I agree. It was a tough one to teach our little smarties that they didn't need to share every fact in their head. My 8 yo just finished a bad phase of wanting to be a know-it-all.

 

So it really could be that they were annoyed with a 6 yo showing them up, or it could be a round-about way of saying that the child came across as a know-it-all. Without being there, it's hard to tell.

[LaissezFaire]

I think they can know too much if you were to mean "know too much about subjects they are not mature enough to handle." Seems to me they would get THAT sort of education in school though as opposed to home. ;)

[LaissezFaire]

Be prepared for them to then move on to "Actually,. . ."

 

This makes me giggle. We call my 7 year old Miss Actually.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm responding in general to the comments about kids saying things at the wrong time or place.

 

I have no trouble telling my kids to be quiet if they are interrupting an adult or getting in the way with their questions. I have had to do so on occasion. I would equally have no trouble telling my dh or another close adult to be quiet if he were interrupting an adult in the same way, though I've never had to do so. I would do it politely and with humor so as to minimize any embarrassment.

 

In my experience, the vast majority of the times when people have been uncomfortable with my kid's knowledge and input have been times when they would not have batted an eyebrow if an adult would have volunteered the same information. The information has been pertinent and respectful.

 

I know that these conversations often get into the "a child needs to know his place" realm. My kids know that they are not adults. They are respectful, and do not try to take on authority or position that is not theirs yet. But they are not stupid. They know how to follow a conversation. And they are able to contribute to one in a meaningful fashion.

 

Often adults are just plain rude to them. Can you imagine saying to another adult, "wow, are you a genius or something" when they make a contribution to a conversation on the latest scientific discoveries? I am at a loss sometimes in how to teach my children to be polite and respectful to some of the things said to them or in their presence. So to respond again to the content in the OP, I will often teach them that the only response to such statements is to politely pretend that they were never said.

[RanchGirl]

I think I would ask my Mom what actually happened that was so concerning to her and the people who shared it with her so that you can decide whether it is an issue you need to address (e.g. if your daughter was rude or if she has been exposed to something inappropriate) or if it's just a jealous/insecure/that child is too precocious/intelligent/studious kind of comment in which case you can just blow it off and continue on your business of educating this wonderful child!