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Do homeschoolers socialize well....I'm talking Moms here!


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You may remember I'm a first time older Mom with one dd 11 1/2 yo/6th grade.

 

I'm a Christian (Jesus follower and believer) as is my dh and dd. We socialize mostly with other believers and especially in our homeschool community.

 

By nature I'm very laid back and informal....maybe too much for our "refined" city. :D Yep, I'm a country girl at heart.

 

Well, maybe b/c of that I feel awkward around other homeschooling Moms. Am I just too down to earth? Perhaps it's b/c I sense they compare number of children. My one child to there 2, 3, 4 or more dc. Any other suggestions? I'm usually always the first one to strike up a conversation and that gets sooooo old. Maybe it's just the mix of people and I have yet to find the right crowd...one in which we'll feel comfortable and one accord.

 

I just know that I can't stand entering into a social event like a b'day party with Moms and kids and it's like pulling teeth to get a Mom to just "talk". Homeschooling Moms seem to be so uptight and shy.

 

So, do homeschooling Moms know how to socialize?

 

Curious what you have to say....Sheryl <><

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IME, some do, some don't, just like in any other group I have participated in.

 

I know homeschooling moms who barely talk to their kids because they socialize with other moms so much.

 

I know homeschooling moms who will go to park days and sit in a corner reading a book instead of saying more than hello and goodbye to the other moms.

 

I know homeschooling moms who only want to be in relationships with others with whom they have complete religious and curriculum agreeement.

 

I know homeschooling moms who are kind of medium.

 

More than anything, I think that moms of a lot of children are busier than you and I with only one...not that having one is easy, but it's certainly easier than having 4. I have found that hosting coop mini-sessions, setting up the occasional picnic or movie night, and sending occasional emails are better ways for me to have mom on mom time than children's birthday parties--between the sugar and the chocolate and the presents and the kid wrangling, those are not always opportunities for adults to let down and relax, although that is always one of my goals!

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I've met good friends within the homeschool community and outside of it. I don't think of our schooling choice as being particularly a good reason for me to hit it off with someone though. Just like if my children were in the public school, I wouldn't automatically think that I'd become friends with every mom waiting at the bus stop.

 

Homeschooling might be one loose commonality that might get a conversation going but homeschooling itself is such a wide designation and there is so much more to who I am, that I would require a lot more in common to get beyond initial small talk.

Edited by Jean in Newcastle
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I have found that every time I'm around a group, they all know each other so much better, and I feel like a complete outsider. I don't know what they are talking about, half the time.

 

However, the times I've met people from here....for big dinners, or small lunches, or at my house, it is like that Roche's song: conversation never stops...throw the ball up, it never drops.

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I haven't had any trouble socializing. Could it be that the other mothers have children that are still young and require a lot of supervision? That tends to totally derail conversations and sometimes the moms of little ones feel its not worth starting a conversation if you'll have a 4 year old pulling at you the entire time. (Interrupt for a sipee cup. Interrupt for a potty run. Interrupt for cheerios. Interrupt because toddler NEEDS mommy, etc.)

 

Now, if it's a mom with older kids who run off and entertain themselves, then I don't know. I still tend to feel that if I want to have friends, it's up to me to jump in and start some conversations. I spent the first half of my life waiting for people to talk to me first, and I was pretty lonely. It wasn't until I was about 26 that I started actively making friends and not waiting for them to make friends with me.

 

That sounds preachy. I don't mean it that way. I guess I just mean that what you're seeing is probably normal. It's either the small kids, or the fact that people just don't easily strike up conversations unless they deliberately decide to ahead of time.

 

I also try to invite them to my house or somewhere away from the group if I really want to pursue a "friendship" and not just acquaintanceship. 'Cause if I don't invite, they probably won't either, and we never get a friendship going.

Edited by Garga
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As others have pointed out, I think the homeschooling community is just as "diverse" in this regard as any other group of people. Some are social, some are not.

 

The local HS group I'm active in seems to have more of the "social" variety of moms. We all enjoy hanging out and talking at our events while the kids play, and we have a blast at our monthly Mom's Night Out.

 

On a personal note, my closest friends are not other homeschoolers. They are women I've connected with around my own interests as well as former colleagues from my working days. I've only been homeschooling for 2 years, but I've known these women much longer. And the homeschooling moms I've formed friendships with all share many other things in common with me aside from homeschooling.

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I'm one of those homeschooling moms probably avoiding you. LOL. I'm a huge introvert. I think socializing with other moms in a homeschool setting is difficult. Our group only meets every other Friday for park day and for field trips. It took me 2+ years just to get to the point where I knew the names of most of the ladies. FIVE years in and I still confused someone's name last week. I was mortified. I messed their name up to the point where I thought it was THEIR house that I was going to for a Pampered Chef party and it was actually another mom in the group. I felt like an idiot.

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