DD coming home for rest of senior year.. please help

[Guest aquiverfull]

Hi,

A little background: My dd has been public schooled all the way through due to a split custody situation. She is a senior, and is pregnant. She has pretty much just quit going to school. She has asked me to homeschool her. I homeschool my other children but they are still young. I'm just not familiar with high school homeschool at all.

 

Right now she has missed too many days to recieve credit without doctor's excuses. I have tried everything, talked to the principal, the nurses, the guidance counselor, etc.

 

I know I have to get her transcript but the guidance counselor said she only needs English 4 to graduate. She does plan to go to college but now I'm not sure where.

 

My question is she was so close to the end of the semester. Her grades are dropping. How can I ensure that she recieves credit for those classes that she has been taking? Do we have to pick up those subjects in homeschool? Some of them were going to be for only this semester (there are 3 more weeks in this semester).

 

Do you have any recommendations for covering English 4? I know she has been doing British Lit in the class.

 

Any other advice?? Thanks for reading thus far.

[Teachin'Mine]

I wouldn't sign her out of school. I'd talk to them and explain that she needs to do school from home - not homeschool, but her actual school work that she's already doing. There was someone on here a week or two ago in a similar situation. Due to illness they needed to do school at home. When it's done this way, the school is responsible for providing a tutor, the school books and anything else that's needed to accommodate the student in their studies. She may need a doctor's note that she's not able to attend school. It would probably not be because she's pregnant, but because of the psychological factors that are keeping her from attending school.

 

Since she is so close to completing her first semester, it would be great for her to just continue with the work she had been doing in school and get the credit for the courses through them.

 

These are just some thoughts. I'll see if I can find the other thread and post the link here.

 

:grouphug:

 

ETA: I'm not finding that thread - I'm guessing it was an older thread than I thought. Hopefully that poster will come on and offer help. : )

Edited November 18, 2010 by Teachin'Mine

[Guest aquiverfull]

Thank you for your suggestion. I have thought of the homebound option. I talked to the guidance counselor about it and she said I would need a note from the doctor. I talked to the nurse and she said the doctor would give her a letter to go homebound at 35 weeks. Unfortunately, that is a couple months away. I suppose I could try again. I would really like to see her do this because as of now she qualifies for the TOPS scholarship, if she comes home she would forfeit that.

Edited November 18, 2010 by aquiverfull

[Sandra in NC]

I'd homeschool her. She wants to homeschool, she has missed too many classes to get credit for this semester, and it sounds like she could be more productive at home.

 

A couple of resources are linked below. While you're on this site, think about credit by exam for college. It's a convenient way (and inexpensive) to earn a college degeree.

 

 

http://www.degreeplanners.com/?Welcome_to_DegreePlanners:Special_Circumstances:Pregnancy%2C_Illness%2C_Family_Crisis

 

http://www.degreeplanners.com/?FAQs:How_long_does_it_take_to_prepare_for_a_CLEP%AE_exam%3F_%26nbsp%3B

[Guest aquiverfull]

Sandra, Thank you so much for those links! I'm looking into this.

[Ravin]

I'd do whatever you had to wrangle the school into letting her finish the semester (i.e., if she can pass her finals, let her pass, etc.), then enroll her in an online community college course to finish up her needed English credit.

 

Also ask around, there might be alternative options such as online high school programs (many states have these as charter schools) that could help her finish.

 

Another option is to withdraw from school and take her GED. This was the option one of my sisters chose; she found out in December that she was failing her senior year and to repeat it would have made her 20 at graduation. The other one dropped out months later when she found out she was pg, less than 2 months shy of graduation, and didn't make it back until her DD was over a year old. At that time she attended an alternative program that helped her finish up and get her diploma in a couple of months, right before she turned 21.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

I would talk to the guidance office about her finishing this semester at home and then homeschool English 4 in the spring.

 

English 4 could be reading novels and writing short papers.

[Guest aquiverfull]

Thank you Ravin and Pam. I tried calling the guidance counselor but she was in testing. So I'm waiting on a call back. I appreciate the encouragement and advice.

[In The Great White North]

I would really like to see her do this because as of now she qualifies for the TOPS scholarship, if she comes home she would forfeit that.

 

I would recommend going to the Guidance office asking more questions.

 

What exactly are the requirements for the TOPS scholarship and how do they accommodate special needs? She can't be the first student to have an injury, illness or pregnancy as a senior and automatically disqualifying these students wouldn't stand up in court.

[BlsdMama]

Some states have a dual enrollment program or a HASAP program. Perhaps this would help you out. Either way, even if you just homeschool, there is no reason I can see that YOU can't give her credit for completing the work she has done this year - reading the books, doing reports, etc.

[2cents]

You might check out Keystone. It has been many years since I checked it out but I seem to recall that they will give credit (very flexible) for what has already been done and they offer an accredited program and graduation diploma. It doesn't sound like she needs much more to graduate and with Keystone, she might be closer than you think. Might be worth checking out:

http://keystoneschoolonline.com/

[z2_mom]

I would call back to the Dr office and speak with the DR not the nurse. I would use what ever you can to get him to write the note. I would explain the needing time to adjust to pregnancy, the feeling awkward in class etc. Even if these are not issues I would use them and whatever else you can think of .....to get him to write the note. I would explain about with the note she could finish school at home etc. It would be far better for her and the baby if she were to get a high school diploma.

 

lynda

[Guest aquiverfull]

I would recommend going to the Guidance office asking more questions.

 

What exactly are the requirements for the TOPS scholarship and how do they accommodate special needs? She can't be the first student to have an injury, illness or pregnancy as a senior and automatically disqualifying these students wouldn't stand up in court.

 

Well as I understand it, homeschoolers in the state of Louisiana can qualify for TOPS but the student must enter the home study program no later than the end of tenth grade. If she stays in school and gets the credits she will qualify for the TOPS program and because of her ACT score also qualifies for extra cash money per college semester.

 

It's just so sad. This whole situation has been so heartbreaking. She has always been such a strong student. One bad choice and then now it seems like she's down a road making nothing but bad choices. She moved out of my house and in with her boyfriend a month ago, so now there is no parental guidance. There is no one to make her get up and go to school. I just don't want to see her throw away all the work and effort she has put into her schooling and future college career thus far. She will be 18 in about 4 weeks.

 

I appreciate all the options/suggestions you've all provided. I'm still waiting to talk to the counselor. I guess my next option would be the doctor. Thanks again and I'd love to hear from anyone else who has ideas.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

I used to live in Louisiana. The folks in the home school office in Baton Rouge are very nice and very helpful. You might call Baton Rouge directly and see if they can help. I think Sue McMillian's phone number is on the state website under Home Study options. And I agree with another post, certainly there have been other seniors in La with similar issues.

 

Oh , also, a friend of mine called someone with TOPS and asked a bunch of questions about her son and his situation. The person she talked with was very nice and helpful. Sorry, but I don't have a name for you. And I don't think I ever heard the outcome.

:grouphug:

[Guest aquiverfull]

Thank you Pam for that information. I talked to the guidance counselor and she was very sweet and helpful. She recommended that I talk to the Assistant Principal about my dd's absences. However, I just don't think my dd is going to go even if they make an extenuating circumstance from the current days missed.

 

I called the TOPS office and talked to someone who was very nice as well. However, he confirmed what I had previously thought to be true. Unless a student is homeschooled in both 11th and 12th they cannot qualify for TOPS when graduating from a homeschool, and a GED will also disqualify you from earning TOPS.

 

I'm still looking into dual-enrollment or CLEP that someone mentioned above. Right now it's looking like homeschool may be our option, but I want to make sure that we rule out all other options first. The counselor told me she only needs English 4 to graduate. However, to get into Louisiana State University or Southeastern she needs a credit of Fine Arts (she was taking this semester), Physics (also taking this semester)/or an additional Science credit, and an additional credit in Spanish.

Edited November 18, 2010 by aquiverfull

[Ravin]

It looks like her requirements for the state university could be fulfilled in one semester at the CC. I'd advise her to get her GED and go that route, maybe after the baby is born, giving her a break to adjust to new motherhood.

[Julie in MN]

A couple of other options I can think of:

 

- In our school district, the student can make up for a failed class through summer school and Thursday school. The original teacher decides whether partial credit is given for work already done, and the student does all or the remaining part by basically filling out worksheets with a classroom monitor.

 

- In Minnesota, there are "super seniors" who are attending high school for an extra year in order to get all their credits for graduation or pass the required testing. So maybe your daughter can attend that high school for another year, or half year? This is also allowed in the homeschool setting, as another option. My daughter actually was a registered homeschooler until she turned 21.

 

- Some school districts here will allow partial enrollment and partial homeschooling. One family I knew had their daughter take the basics at school and then brought her home in the afternoon. I'm guessing she did "electives" but I haven't asked -- my dd said it was mostly test prep. Anyways, she still graduated with a public high school diploma.

 

- Many pregnant teens end up in "alternative schools" which may produce an acceptable diploma for your purposes. We have a cousin's child who earned "all A's" that way...

 

 

Julie

[Julie in MN]

Do you have any recommendations for covering English 4? I know she has been doing British Lit in the class.

 

As for that part of your question, there are lots of pre-written homeschool lit classes. You're probably familiar with some of them. Most have British lit.

 

- Lightning Lit

- Smarr

- LLATL

- There are some free guides here that are pretty good http://www.glencoe.com/sec/literature/litlibrary/

- I was thinking you had done MFW? If so, they have their lit & composition supplement.

[Guest aquiverfull]

Thank you Julie for sharing your thoughts. Yes, that is one thing the guidance counselor told me.. my dd can make up failed courses through "credit recovery". It costs $175 though and I just don't know if she is going to do that. She's stubborn. I just feel like if I don't do something soon she will end up with nothing. She keeps telling me she plans to attend college but she also kept telling me she wasn't going to quit school. I know she feels like things are tough now, but really she has no idea of what lies ahead. I'm afraid with her lack of motivation now, that it may not get any better when the baby arrives.

[Guest aquiverfull]

As for that part of your question, there are lots of pre-written homeschool lit classes. You're probably familiar with some of them. Most have British lit.

 

- Lightning Lit

- Smarr

- LLATL

- There are some free guides here that are pretty good http://www.glencoe.com/sec/literature/litlibrary/

- I was thinking you had done MFW? If so, they have their lit & composition supplement.

 

Thanks so much Julie. I will look into these suggestions. :)

ETA:

Well I only briefly tried MFW ECC. Currently, I'm using MFW K with my younger girls. I do hope to use MFW very soon with my 11 year old.

At the high school levels, the Lit and composition is integrated within the rest of the history study isn't it?

Edited November 18, 2010 by aquiverfull

[Julie in MN]

Thank you Julie for sharing your thoughts. Yes, that is one thing the guidance counselor told me.. my dd can make up failed courses through "credit recovery". It costs $175 though and I just don't know if she is going to do that. She's stubborn. I just feel like if I don't do something soon she will end up with nothing. She keeps telling me she plans to attend college but she also kept telling me she wasn't going to quit school. I know she feels like things are tough now, but really she has no idea of what lies ahead. I'm afraid with her lack of motivation now, that it may not get any better when the baby arrives.

Ouch, $175? It's free here...

 

:grouphug: This is a hard time for you. I've been there and I know how hard it is to know what to take on yourself and what to turn over to your precious dd when you know she will let it slip away. For me, I did jump in and try with all I had. But in the end, my dd didn't graduate, she did have a child at 19, and she did make us pretty miserable. But I think if I hadn't tried my hardest, I would feel more miserable now, and instead I feel at peace.

 

I want you to know that after all that, at 23 now, dd is a sweet girl and our grandson is a great blessing to us. She is also the reason that I learned how to homeschool. I agree with doing what you can do, but know that even the most perfect parent, God Himself, had trouble with Adam & Eve making poor decisions :tongue_smilie:

 

ETA:

Well I only briefly tried MFW ECC. Currently, I'm using MFW K with my younger girls. I do hope to use MFW very soon with my 11 year old.

At the high school levels, the Lit and composition is integrated within the rest of the history study isn't it?

You're right, the schedule is in the same manual as the history schedule, so it probably isn't a cost-efficient program for just one credit. It might be worth considering if you decide to have her earn credits for reading the entire Bible, too.

 

I've used the other programs as well, and they're good, too.

[Brenda in MA]

I would call back to the Dr office and speak with the DR not the nurse. I would use what ever you can to get him to write the note. I would explain the needing time to adjust to pregnancy, the feeling awkward in class etc. Even if these are not issues I would use them and whatever else you can think of .....to get him to write the note. I would explain about with the note she could finish school at home etc. It would be far better for her and the baby if she were to get a high school diploma.

 

lynda

 

:iagree: If she can pass the classes she's in, and there's a scholarship on the line, I'd do what I could to get that note from the doctor sooner rather than later.

 

If you do have to pull her, you might look at something like American School and have her do the 1 English course through correspondence. You might also ask the school if her taking a 1 semester CC English course could count towards her high school requirements.

 

Best wishes to both of you,

Brenda

[Guest aquiverfull]

Julie,

Yes, I know. I was pretty surprised that credit recovery would cost anything.

:grouphug::grouphug: Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with your dd. It is such a tough place to be in. I appreciate your encouraging words. I'm sure in the end it will all be alright. I will love my little grandbaby, although at times I feel like I'm no where near ready to be a grandparent. I was a young teenage mother myself, so now I'm a young grandmother. I finished school, thank God I had parents who pushed me. Having a child so young made everything so much harder though. I just didn't want this path for her.

I know that no matter what babies are a blessing and although it's hard to swallow, I'm sure this was all in His plan.

I would love to do MFW with her, but like you said, I'm not sure if it would be worth it for one or two credits. I noticed on the MFW samples it looked like a Fine Arts credit could be given. Do you know if there is a fine arts credit included in this too?

Thanks again!! :)

[Guest aquiverfull]

Thank you Brenda for your suggestions. She has a doctor appointment on Monday, I'm thinking it may be better to talk to him in person anyways. I hope there's a way for this to all work out.

[Teachin'Mine]

I hope that the doctor is able to help on Monday. I think you're right in thinking that you need to do something soon. She needs a plan that she's willing to do to at least graduate from high school. It would be great if she could maintain her scholarship and fulfill the college requirements as well. If she worked towards going to college would you be able to care for her baby? Talk with her about the ways in which you can help her with her goals. Giving her more options other than her current circumstances would be good.

 

I'm praying for you and for her. :grouphug:

[Guest aquiverfull]

Thank you Teachinmine! I really appreciate those prayers. Yes I will be here to help with the baby after it is born. I would like to see her go to college if that is what she chooses and I will be here to help her as much as I can. :)

[Teachin'Mine]

That will be one very loved little one!!! :)

[swimmermom3]

Kelli, what does your dd want to do? You said she wants to homeschool? You can make all the plans you want, but she is not under your roof and she will soon be 18. If she is living with her boyfriend, will he support her efforts or will he discourage her? What you are able to accomplish will depend a lot on the answers to those questions. The school should be able to work something out with you. We had to submit a letter from our dd's counselor and doctor stating that emotionally she was unable to attend school. The school will continue to work with us towards her diploma even if it takes longer than the school year because we submitted a plan for finishing.

 

Would your dd consider counseling? If she has been a strong student and yet has walked away from her classes, she may be really struggling with the new identity she is creating for herself. If her grades have slipped too far, she may feel overwhelmed with the prospect of setting them to rights. Ask the school if they can extend her class deadlines for a month in order for her to have a chance to compose herself. :grouphug: and please be sure to take care of yourself while you are working through this with your dd.

[Guest aquiverfull]

Lisa,

Thank you for the sweet words of encouragement. :) Well it started out that she was going to finish her senior year and she seemed motivated to do so, but then when she moved in with her boyfriend she started missing school. I really don't know if her boyfriend would encourage her or not. Unfortunately, he just dropped out of school at the beginning of this school year.

 

She knows a girl who homeschools but under a school here in the state. So my dd said she wanted to do that. So I started looking into it for her. When I called, something didn't sit right with me, but I didn't tell my dd that. Then she talked to someone else at her work and it turned out that the school has been sued. LSU won't accept students with a diploma from that school. This girl's sister went to the school and then had problems getting into the college. So both my dd and I called the school back with questions about these accusations. We were given the run around. The lady never would directly answer our questions. So then we figured it was a bad idea. It was going to cost around $600 too. I asked the lady from the school the difference between me homeschooling her and giving her a diploma versus my dd going to their school and getting a diploma. She said there was no difference because they are a homeschool. The college will accept homeschool diplomas so it must have been something with that school. That's when my dd said that she wanted me to homeschool her. I told her to keep going to school until it was certain that she would do that school. Well of course, she didn't listen. Now she's missed too many days.

 

I talked to her today about going back to school, if they give her a second chance and I could tell she didn't want to do that. There's one class there that she really dislikes. It's called Senior Project and it is required of all students. It is stressful to her and I know she hasn't been doing her Projects required in that class. So I know that is some of the reason she doesn't want to return to school. She thinks homeschool is going to be easier. I guess it will, especially if she just takes English to graduate. She tells me that school is a waste of time because there are so many extra classes that she's having to take that she feels she really doesn't need. I hope that she will go to college. She tells me that she wants to, I know that the choice is hers. I know it will be hard if she chooses to go. She's made a lot of choices lately that have made things so much harder on herself. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm bending over backwards for her trying so hard to make sure she doesn't get herself too messed up. It feels like my efforts are wasted sometimes though.

Thanks again!! :)

Edited November 19, 2010 by aquiverfull

[prairie rose]

I know she had the scholarship and everything lined up and it seems that you have tried everything in your power to keep that but your dd is the one who won the scholarship, if she's not willing to do everything in her power to keep it then she's going to have to go another route. Yes it's very sad that she lost the scholarship and when she realizes there are far more difficult things in life than a senior project, or anything high school can throw at you for that matter, she will probably kick herself for not sticking it out but that doesn't mean she can't get more scholarships down the road.

 

Many teens are clueless about how hard pregnancy is on a body. How much effort it takes to get simple things done when you are constantly nauseous and tired. From the sounds of it, she will have a very young (less than 6 months old) baby when she starts college if she starts next fall. That will be very very hard. I would wholeheartedly suggest putting college off until fall 2012. She will then have plenty of time to finish those remaining credits for college admission (not just hs graduation), time to adjust to the changes in her life as a new mother and look at her life goals with new eyes, the eyes of someone who has no choice but to think of more than just herself. She can CLEP college courses in the mean time, if you have college credit already, high school diplomas are usually a moot point. If she starts at cc, not only will it be cheaper but she can redeem her student standing and receive many academic and hardship scholarships, grants and other means of paying for her education. She can still transfer to a state university if that is her goal. It's not the traditional route but sometimes hardship and bad choices require outside the box methods and thinking to get things done.

 

I'm sorry you and your dd are having to walk this very difficult road. I was a young mom when I got pregnant with my oldest. Though I had graduated high school when I got pregnant (barely) I did end up dropping out of college my first semester. I went back went our child was a toddler. I've gotten credits here and there over the years (not due to parenthood though, mostly because dh joined the military and his career field made it rather difficult sometimes for me to attend college with him being gone a lot) I'm hoping to have my degree a year from now. :) I've received many scholarships and grants based on grades, Dean's List standing, being a parent, being a woman in a non-traditional field...you name it. If I could do it over again, knowing what I know now, I would have CLEP'd as much as I could when I was pregnant with my first and CLEP'd every chance I had while he was in the military. I would probably already have my degree if I had done that.

 

It sounds to me like your dd still has a lot going for her, a mom who is willing to go to the ends of the earth to help her achieve her goals even when she herself can't find her way. :) That is worth its weight in gold. ;)

Edited November 19, 2010 by prairie rose

[Guest aquiverfull]

Jen,

Thank you so much for those wonderful words of truth and wisdom. The things you spoke are a comfort to me. I appreciate it!! :) It is true that she has a long, hard road ahead of her and she will be kicking herself later knowing she might have had it a little easier. I'm glad there are other grants out there, opportunities and things that can come later. She has said herself that she plans to take a year off after the baby is born. As of right now we don't know the due date, because she didn't keep up with her cycles. Monday she is having a sonogram and we will know then. We think she is due sometime in April. So yes, it will be a while before she goes to college.

I will definitely keep the CLEP exams in mind. I talked to her about them yesterday. I think it's an excellent idea for her. You should be commended for your dedication and hard work at working towards your degree. Congratulations!! I was a young teenage mother myself. Very young-14. So I know how hard it can be. I finished high school and went to a few years of college but didn't earn a degree, I just quit.

Again, I thank you for your sweet words of encouragement and support.

[Guest aquiverfull]

Just wanted to give all of you an update who were so helpful with advice and encouragement.

The doctor refused to let her go homebound. He really didn't even let me explain, he immediately said no, not until she is 35 weeks. When I tried to say more, he cut me off. :( So it looks like I'll be homeschooling.

 

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. I appreciate them.

[Teachin'Mine]

As it's your daughter's doctor, the choice is really hers, but I'd be looking for a new doctor. Listening is incredibly important. :confused:

 

It may be that homeschooling is the best option, but if you still want to pursue homebound, you may want to get a doctor who would be more understanding of the emotional and mental issues of returning to school rather than just the physical. I would imagine it doesn't have to be a medical doctor who provides the note for the school.

 

:grouphug:

[Guest aquiverfull]

I agree, that doctor drives me nuts. He is just so straight forward, and not very friendly. Due to her insurance, I'm not sure that it would be an easy task to find another doctor. This isn't her original doctor, she already had to switch because her doctor was no longer doing Obstetrics. Her original doctor was much more friendly.

I would look into it further but I think my dd doesn't even really want to do homebound. I think she just wants to homeschool. So I guess that's where we will go from here. Thank you again.