Check my discipline please

[Rivka]

Okay, ordinarily I don't have doubts about discipline issues, but I am on a medication that can cause mood/temper problems, and I'm second-guessing myself.

 

I just caught my 5yo hiding behind the couch eating extra candy she sneaked out of her Halloween bucket. She got caught doing the same thing on Saturday. Her punishment then was no sweets for the rest of the weekend. This time I dumped the rest of her bucket in the trash.

 

We are generous with desserts in our family so she is in no way deprived.

 

Reasonable, right? Or steroid-induced irrational rage? She is crying and saying that I make her feel like nobody loves her. I just don't want to have to be the 24 hour candy police. Better not to have any in the house.

[HayesW]

I would have done the same thing, probably!

[FaithManor]

It was very reasonable since it was a second offence, she was hiding because she obviously knew it was wrong, and at five, she is now capable of understanding that her actions have consequences worth remembering.

 

Faith

[elizabeth]

Oh gosh ,I am on steroid therapy as well and it is estimated that it might be for at least a year.. . I totally understand the second guessing and have been doing a lot of apologizing for my short temper. I would have tossed the candy in any event. No that is not true in my steroid induced sugar crave I would have pretended to toss and eat every last darn piece. I hope you do not have to be on them long term.

[Gwenhwyfar]

in our house...that would be overkill. (i'm just saying - that's how it would be viewed here)

 

i'd have sat down and asked her WHY she was sneaking candy - was she hungry still? did she see someone else with candy? do her friends have free access to their candy? etc.. i'd have looked for the reason that she was doing that...gone from there.

 

i actually remember sneaking my OWN halloween candy from the kitchen and eating it under my bedcovers..i was about eight. ;)

 

everybody does stuff differently though...i'm not criticizing, just answering based on how i see this stuff. YMMV and all those disclaimers. :p

[rwjx2khsmj]

The consequence was reasonable.

 

After dd has calmed down I'd take some time to talk about the importance of obedience and the fact that candy is not an indicator of love.

[mo2]

It's reasonable, acceptable, but not what *I* would have done. I would have put the candy somewhere she couldn't get to it. But around here, it's pretty much a crime to waste food.

[katilac]

It's not what I would have done (because I find buckets of candy nearly impossible to resist myself, *g*), but it's not insanely over-the-top.

 

As long as you weren't, y'know, screaming like Joan Crawford while you did it, NO MORE BUCKETS OF CANDY!!

[Rivka]

Oh gosh ,I am on steroid therapy as well and it is estimated that it might be for at least a year.. . I totally understand the second guessing and have been doing a lot of apologizing for my short temper. I would have tossed the candy in any event. No that is not true in my steroid induced sugar crave I would have pretended to toss and eat every last darn piece. I hope you do not have to be on them long term.

 

Elizabeth, it's funny you should say that. I did divert the Reeses cups before they hit the trash.

 

So sorry to hear that you are on steroids long term. I'm on a one-week course, that's all, for Reactive Airway Syndrome.

[lionfamily1999]

I don't think you went over board. That being said, I would have put the candy away for Dad :D But, I have this problem with throwing away perfectly edible food :p

[pqr]

Absolutely understandable and reasonable even for a 5 year old.

[LibraryLover]

I would never doubt your motivations, Rivka. I trust you totally to do what you need to do. I have always taken myself out of the halloween candy equation. My kids keep their bags and eat whatever. One of mine makes it last over a year. One eats it all in a few weeks. They have good teeth and no allergies. This is me, but other people do things differently and it's good and well. My dear friend, carry on. I trust you 100%

[NanceXToo]

in our house...that would be overkill. (i'm just saying - that's how it would be viewed here)

 

i'd have sat down and asked her WHY she was sneaking candy - was she hungry still? did she see someone else with candy? do her friends have free access to their candy? etc.. i'd have looked for the reason that she was doing that...gone from there.

 

i actually remember sneaking my OWN halloween candy from the kitchen and eating it under my bedcovers..i was about eight. ;)

 

everybody does stuff differently though...i'm not criticizing, just answering based on how i see this stuff. YMMV and all those disclaimers. :p

 

:iagree:

[Joanne]

I'm the queen of being against unrelated, over the top, and non respectful discipline.

 

I don't find what you did over-the-top.

 

I did the same thing, not because of sneaking (my kids are too old to micro-manage food) but because the the wrappers.

[SonshineLearner]

I would have been spanked... I wouldn't even think that was horrible... BUT, I can remember sneaking these yummy candy melts from like.... Wilton's kinda... These were so good. I remember trying to guess how many I could take at a time before my mom would notice. I would slip them into my pajama feet and open the zipper and eat one... and then the next... on Saturday mornings at least a few times.

I STILL love candy, and though sometimes I know it's not the healthiest... I love it :) So, I would do the whole talk thing... about WHY she wanted to eat it... explain why it isn't good to just eat yummies out of habit... sympathize... and then maybe dump it.... but... maybe not .... That's a hard call... But... I don't think it was mean.... (Where do you live so I can come grab your garbage :)

[FriedClams]

exactly what I would have done

 

Hang in there with the medical stuff

[Bird Girl]

Totally reasonable. She'd already been punished for sneaking it, so she knew it was wrong, and she went ahead and did it again. I'd have had some choice words to add while I threw it away, too.

[Heatherwith4]

I think that's a fair consequence. I probably would have pretended to throw it away, and then share it with DH. :lol: :lol:

[Mommy22alyns]

It sounds reasonable to me, but this:

 

 

She is crying and saying that I make her feel like nobody loves her.

 

 

My 2 do the same thing, especially my 5.5 yo. What is up with this? :confused:

[lionfamily1999]

It sounds reasonable to me, but this:

 

 

 

 

 

My 2 do the same thing, especially my 5.5 yo. What is up with this? :confused:

How deeply do you cringe when they say that?

 

That's what's up with it. :glare: It's a big fat button and they've figured out how to push it.

[Mommy22alyns]

How deeply do you cringe when they say that?

 

That's what's up with it. :glare: It's a big fat button and they've figured out how to push it.

 

 

Ahhhh. Light going on. Thanks for the reminder to keep my cool over that one!

[Garga]

That's a tough one. I just realized today that I am in love with candy. I mean, I think it's different for me from other people. I just loooooooove candy. It's irresistible. I wish I could eat it all day long.

 

It's a good thing I must have a pretty high metabolism, because I just love to eat candy, but I'm still mostly thin. (mostly.) Today, I've eaten a couple of little Halloween size bags of peanut M&Ms, some baklava (oh, heaven!), and have been eyeing the fruit roll ups. (I'm eating some strawberries, trying to hold off on the fruit roll ups.)

 

Halloween is rough for me. I just CANNOT seem to stay out of the candy. I feel for your daughter. Not saying you shouldn't have tossed the candy, but I would be MIFFED if someone tossed my candy. I love it soooo much.

[lionfamily1999]

Ahhhh. Light going on. Thanks for the reminder to keep my cool over that one!

:001_smile: I'm working my third little one through this. The first time he caught me off guard. Now I just say, "That was unkind and rude. Apologize."

 

:lol:

 

Poor little guy, it's hard to be the youngest.

[Jilly]

I have always taken myself out of the halloween candy equation. My kids keep their bags and eat whatever. One of mine makes it last over a year. One eats it all in a few weeks. They have good teeth and no allergies.

 

This is what I do. My youngest finished his candy in a week. My daughter finished her candy yesterday. My oldest will have his until next Halloween. :glare:

[Mom0012]

That's a tough one. I just realized today that I am in love with candy. I mean, I think it's different for me from other people. I just loooooooove candy. It's irresistible. I wish I could eat it all day long.

 

It's a good thing I must have a pretty high metabolism, because I just love to eat candy, but I'm still mostly thin. (mostly.) Today, I've eaten a couple of little Halloween size bags of peanut M&Ms, some baklava (oh, heaven!), and have been eyeing the fruit roll ups. (I'm eating some strawberries, trying to hold off on the fruit roll ups.)

 

Halloween is rough for me. I just CANNOT seem to stay out of the candy. I feel for your daughter. Not saying you shouldn't have tossed the candy, but I would be MIFFED if someone tossed my candy. I love it soooo much.

 

I've got the same candy addiction problem, but I would actually be thrilled if someone threw away all the candy because then I could start feeling better again. All that candy messes with my blood sugar and makes me irritable and irrational at times. And this year, my kids must have literally gotten at least 20 - 30 pounds of candy. There is still a ton of it left.

 

Lisa

[Gratia271]

I follow the same practice of tossing it. I guess I should keep it for DH, at least the snickers. :D

[eternalknot]

:grouphug: Assuming that sneaking food is an uncommon happening with her, you were very reasonable. You even gave her a second chance to behave after Saturday's incident. Food issues are the trickiest ones to navigate, I think.

 

I probably would have made my kids eat the entire bucket. Maybe in one sitting - a sort of "you're not going anywhere until you're finished" kind of deal that would seem great (to them) initially, but would get old fast. Or maybe over the next few meals: "you have to finish your candy before you can eat what we're eating" (except I'd have her sit at the table with us, still eating whatever candy while we ate a normal meal). I imagine that before long, she'd end up with a pretty bad tummy ache and an overall newfound appreciation for REAL foods. Oh, and the candy would be gone so I wouldn't have to play 24-hour candy police :D.

 

As a general rule, I don't think it's the best idea to eliminate opportunities that would otherwise teach our kids to develop better habits (or put new habits into practice). In reality, sometimes I just don't have it in me to deal with it any other way. I love that you spared the Reese's Cups!

[kalanamak]

It's reasonable, acceptable, but not what *I* would have done. I would have put the candy somewhere she couldn't get to it. But around here, it's pretty much a crime to waste food.

 

But at 7, yes, I would and did do that. However, he was warned the first time, and the candy was put up, so it meant he had also done a tricky-ladder things, too. No screaming, matter of fact. Plop.

 

At 5, I would give one more chance, and I'd have kiddo pick out half of it to give away (I take to work and co-workers devour it).

[74Heaven]

in our house...that would be overkill. (i'm just saying - that's how it would be viewed here)

 

i'd have sat down and asked her WHY she was sneaking candy - was she hungry still? did she see someone else with candy? do her friends have free access to their candy? etc.. i'd have looked for the reason that she was doing that...gone from there.

 

i actually remember sneaking my OWN halloween candy from the kitchen and eating it under my bedcovers..i was about eight. ;)

 

everybody does stuff differently though...i'm not criticizing, just answering based on how i see this stuff. YMMV and all those disclaimers. :p

 

Gwenhwyfar, I am just curious. Assuming the reason was "because I like candy and you weren't nearby and I thought I could get away with it" which seems the most likely scenario... so what would you do?

 

Just wondering what you mean by "gone from there" since I am sure the answer is pretty close to my statement in quotes above.

 

Lisaj, who would have put away the candy out of reach/hidden for another time - with children #1 and #2 and would def. throw it away with children #3, #4, #5. I just don't have the energy any more to police candy consumption for multiple children...